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Zack departed out the closest door to the food courts, and Richard ushered Tracy outside. He decided they needed to take a carriage ride and paid and helped Tracy into the horse-drawn open vehicle before she could protest. It was very cold in the twilight as the horse and his owner began to trot along North Temple Street. Richard put an arm comfortingly along Tracy's shoulders and pulled her close. They were tucked in with blankets as well and a heater at their feet.

"I think it might be a little soon." He leaned over to say quietly in her ear.

"Yes." She agreed, "I had pictured it a little differently. But Richard, I'd rather have a little time together as husband and wife on home turf than just thrust into a difficult six-month situation."

"Maybe we should wait until after...." He said, but his tone was forced, it wasn't what he wanted at all.

She turned to look at him, and their close proximity startled them both. His arm around her tightened automatically, his eyes holding her gaze reflected the crystal lights of shop windows and Christmas. Richard felt the sway of the buggy, heard the clop-clop of horse's hooves, felt the crunch of steel wheels moving them ever onward.... 

Onward, their journey always took these twists, didn't it? He meant to kiss her, as emotion welled up in him so forcefully, it didn't come out as a kiss at all, as he pushed her back against his arm and the plush red-leather seat, crushing the baby between them, he meant to be soft, and at the same time had something to say. 

Instead of the meeting of lips, Richard's teeth caught Tracy's lower lip and he sat there, wanting, he knew not what, and trembling with the sheer emotion of it all. His teeth raked along the soft lip, their eyes open and wondering. Then he closed his eyes, slid across her gently and sealed their union.

Tracy's world melted into a beautiful coalesced crackling and sizzling song. Richard's mouth opened, played desperately across hers, soft and pliant and yet firm and unbelievably alive. Everything in her reached out to him. One hand, the free hand came up to pull him closer, to meld their union with what she liked to think of as, 'the rest of the story'.

"It's not just spiritual, Richard." She whispered against him, as he slanted across her hotly, unable to stop this sweet connection, fulfilling so much of their unexpressed and haunted dreams. So much wanting, so much wishing, so much restraint had always been a part of their relationship, the waiting, the quiet, keeping it to themselves when the knowledge of this unspoken emotion was more than either of them could bear alone.

He shook his head against her, and his breath froze against her cheek. "No, love, it's very physical as well."

He kissed her again, or never stopped, touching for the first time, the rightness of it, negating that other, stolen kiss, the one that had sent them catapulting into sheer confusion. This kiss, the kiss of union, of belief, of togetherness, was the one that mattered. He fingered her chin, her ear, the side of her temples, not close enough, not long enough...

"I don't deserve this." She whispered. "It's too wonderful." He opened his eyes to see hers sparkling in the twinkle lights, with teardrops crystallizing on her cheeks.

He smiled as he kissed her again. "Is it what you expected?"

"No." she shook her head. "It's so much better. There's more to it that I never allowed myself to dream of. I've never felt this ...." She pushed into him, sealing their kiss once more, pulling him closer. She was right, nothing in either of their experience had prepared them for this meeting of minds and souls. No prior relationship intruded, no sudden memories of any untoward thoughts came to the fore. The gift was in the sacrifice they'd been through. And the gift was such profound love they were both overwhelmed with it. They wanted it to go on and on and on.

"It's almost too much to bear, Trace." He said against her. "You, the children, the perfect baby...I feel so—overcome." 

He felt the sting of those wicked tears and captured her lower lip again with his teeth, not hurting her, just trying to stop the flow of emotion. 

Tracy froze, tasted the tears, felt her own answering reply. But Richard went on.

"Every letter you sent was like a ray of hope coming my way. Every mention of the darkness you were dealing with, and the way you managed to pull through was this seed of doubt being erased. You went with me on my mission, Trace, I carried you with me in my heart, hoping against hope that you were coping, I prayed for you so hard, prayed every day, and I felt your prayers, after awhile I felt them every day, sustaining me, keeping me going, knowing that what I did for the Lord, I also did for us. To find that this love was reciprocated, so alive within us, a tangible thing was the best gift ever. Until I got home and felt that flying rush of recognition from the children." He caught his breath on a sob. "Let me love you, every day. Come with me, serve with me, I'll take care of you and the kids. I'll never let anything hurt you again."

"Why are we sobbing so much?" she laughed through her tears, touching his face, swiping at the little rivulets.

He was shaking his head, laughing as well. "I guess we can expect nothing to ever go as planned." He said. The baby between them began to whimper at being squished for so long. Richard kissed her again and then let her go, so his daughter could breathe. He looked down into the sweet quiet face, awake and alert, staring back at him. He shook his head and ran a hand through short close cropped almost black hair. "I want to buy you a wedding dress. I remember last time you got hitched," he stumbled over the words. "No ring, no dress, no flowers, no temple...."

She looked away. Rushed, she had been rushed, and confused, and immediately the weirdness of it assailed her. And she felt a funny déjà vu, at Richard's words. This had a similar feel, rushed, clipped...her heart raced.

"Tracy... we can say no. Would that be better for our family?"

"And not serve?" her voice was incredulous. "Don't ever think that. I will always want to serve. I love--- the Lord, Richard. If this is where we are to serve, then bring it on."

He crushed her to him again, kissing her roughly, plummeting the sweet depths forcefully, letting her feel the heights of his emotion.  "You're right, then we need to be married... right away."

Tracy grinned knowingly. That last kiss had been telling, for both of them... "Okay, let's go tell Elder Harrison, and get interviewed if possible, and set a time tomorrow, it's a little late right now, and we'll go get some appropriate clothes.... See, it can't be tonight, the garment store isn't even open, and it's late. It will have to be tomorrow. And we'll...."

"Is this the Temple you want? We can arrange to go to a different one...."

Tracy looked up at the spires of the Salt Lake Temple, and smiled. No, this was the one, this one with all its history and significance. One of the oldest in this dispensation, one of the ones where the Savior himself had appeared. She would walk those same halls, she would feel that same spirit, make those covenants... yes, this was the one. She felt his fingers on her face, drawing her back to look at him.

She nodded, felt his lips close over hers once again and smiled against him as Kylie squirmed.

"Something is coming between us again, Richard." She laughed. He peered down once again into the little irate face. She was about to become annoyed, the little lips were pouting and a slight tremor was shaking them as the little eyes filled up with tears. "No, no, baby, don't fuss, Momma and Daddy love you." Tracy looked up into Richard's eyes and read the love there. "Yes, we love you, baby." She whispered.

*****