183:

She took a deep breath, still feeling the shock, as if her past had actually finally gone away into another life completely, not just because she had made a decision to have it go there. Like the little boy on Home Alone, she though vaguely, recognizing the signs of shock: the little boy that wished he wasn't part of a family, and then woke up the next day and his family was gone. Had she wished her former family away for good?

Blaze watched her curiously, not sure who had been on the phone, not sure of her sudden stillness, not sure of her cold deliberate movements, as if she was withdrawing completely from him, or just turning so far inward he couldn't reach her.

He was still there. She stood up and brushed herself off, hitting the speed dial on her phone and ignoring Blaze for the moment. "Hi, sorry to wake you, get the kids ready, leave whatever stuff we don't need, and be ready in ten minutes. I'm leaving for the states immediately." 

She clicked off, and Blaze's brows rose in bewilderment. He started to ask what was going on, but she held up her hand, fingers pinched, for him to be still. He put his hands on his hips and stared her down, now. She had hit another speed dial. She identified herself and arranged for her plane to be brought around and for flight plans to Orange County California to be filed immediately, emergency departure.

"What's going on?" he demanded as soon as she clicked off, but she shushed him once again, moonlight glinting on her silvery hair as she twirled away from him. He grabbed her flying hair and held her still, facing him, staring into her eyes. "Focus." He said.

She had hit speed dial again. "Mom, I'm leaving you this message, please come to OC immediately. Leave right away. I need you, call me." She said and then hit another speed dial. 

"Dad? Hi, Shanna, can I talk to dad? Dad? Hi, it's me. Yeah, I'm fine, yes." She stopped for two seconds, and Blaze waited for the explanation she must give her father. She had turned away from him again, but he was having none of it. He was her friend, they'd established that much, and he had been with her through several amazing incidents, she was better off including him in her rushed off plans than not, and he knew it, even if she didn't.

 "My brother, Ty committed suicide today, Dad, can you come? Can you drop everything and come? Sam said my --- my Ruth, also committed suicide in her institute when she found out about Ty." 

Blaze's head reared back in shock. His eyes penetrated hers, and he pulled out his phone and hit speed dial to ask that his belongings be brought to the airport at once. He hit another number and explained to the producers that he and Tracy were leaving that very moment, absolutely no press anywhere, highest security detail available. 

He took her arm and started back up the sand toward their group, avoiding the stares and calls of good friends. Ramiro jumped out of a group of people and accosted Blaze who soberly explained what had happened as Tracy spoke quietly to her father.

Ramiro grabbed Tracy's free hand and held it to his chest. She managed to stifle her annoyed expression in favor of a pained grimace. "Dear one..." he said, but she held up the pinched fingers as she finished the conversation with her father.

She gave both Ramiro and Blaze grateful expressions as much as she could muster at the moment.

 "I appreciate your concern." She began, holding them both off with her stilted awareness of their desire to help her. "But you don't understand, guys. It's not my family in the traditional sense. It's like I was raised in a bad orphanage and one of the other inmates and the matron have run afoul. I need to go take care of things for the sake of the one I do call brother, who is a little freaked out right now, but it's not like I have lost somebody close to me...." 

She thought about that statement being so untrue, Ruth.... Was really nothing to her. But Ty... a catch in her breath told the actual story and belied her words. She blew her hair out of her face and stared up toward the beach huts. Lights were on in hers, the car had been brought, it was running and Jake was loading it.

"I'm coming with you." Blaze said firmly, knowing she wouldn't deny him; they'd shared too much in the last year for her to ask him to leave her. If she was really going to ditch him, she would have done it already.

"I don't need your help." She said forthrightly, knowing it sounded mean, and unable to put any real sincerity into her tone. She had a strong desire to just be alone, get past this...

He moved her past the comforting crowd, and nodded to Ramiro to follow them. He helped her strap the crying twins into their car seats and got in the driver's seat. She got into the passenger's side. "You really are going to make me mad." She said as Ramiro ran for his vehicle and picked up Jake who would normally have driven them. The nanny, Robyn, squeezed into the back as well.

"It's what friends do." Blaze said.

"You're being a pain in the butt." She hissed. "I don't need help, not like I haven't done this before."

"Are you saying you get used to death?"

"Should have been a mortician." She mumbled.

They drove the short distance to the landing strip and he parked. Ramiro was following closely. Tracy gave him a look meant to discourage him, but he had already grabbed a bag and his overnight stuff. "Guys..." she said plaintively. "I appreciate..."

"Our concern, yes, we know..." Blaze finished for her, grabbing 72-hour kits and backpacks with diapers. "It's necessary."

"Stupid." She said as her cell phone rang and she flipped it open. Blaze lifted Megan as Tracy hefted Melia in her free arm. Her side of the conversation was even more disturbing. "Yes?" She was moving quickly, efficiently, loading the little girl into her airplane car seat, handing the nanny another bag, lifting Daniel, when she suddenly skidded to a halt.

 "You what?!" She cried. "You did?!" Then she tried vainly to turn away but even Jake froze and came to stand beside her in consternation. 

"Oh, yeah, okay, yeah, actually I'm on my way home, and I absolutely can't wait for you to get here, sooooo.... Leave them at grandma Coral's, I'll pick them up there in a few hours. Yeah, it's no problem, I just can't stay here, pressing business at home, sorry. Yeah, no problem, yeah, you remember where she lives? Okay then, yeah, they know her, it'll all be good." She actually held her phone up in the air above her head to click off it, as if it were some talisman she revered.

And with that cryptic motion, she suddenly continued moving, loading, securing, and finally getting in the cockpit herself without talking to any of the other passengers, willing or unwilling.

 The babies were fussing again. Danny was asking a million questions, that only his momma could answer, his blunt reply to Robyn and Blaze was to shut up, to which Tracy would absently say, Danny apologize for that, we don't say that word, and he would nastily say 'sorry' and roll his eyes. To which Robyn called him a spoiled brat and he tattled to Tracy who, still distractedly talking on the phone shoved a DVD into the TV and waved to the airport official who had come out to have her sign. 

They began to taxi down the runway. She folded the phone and set it aside. Told everyone to be quiet and then concentrated on her flying.

*****