*****061

Landing her plane on the hastily prepared dirt air strip was challenging enough, landing it in a snow flurry with high winds had been annoyingly next to impossible. Even though her own nerves were frayed, the enthusiasm Austin, Richard, Redd Kelly, Monday and Danny displayed was contagious. They rushed to get into fur lined parka's and nylon under armor, while crew members already in attendance grabbed luggage and other equipment and took it to the platform tents now billowing and collecting ice.

Tracy was shocked at the wood burning stove in the center of the small tent, and the army cots with space heaters beneath them. She raced with Danny covered completely, to the indicated tent, sides flapping in the strong weather. The cold bit through to her skin easily. She'd not been able to see once the plane landed.

Austin was right behind her, dumping her gear, and helping Monday unload.

"Are you kidding me?" She screeched. "We can't do this, Austin! This is insane! You let me bring this baby out here? What were you thinking?"

"Hey, don't blame me for the weather! You did your research and know it's unpredictable at best this far north." His breath came out as frost, and Danny was whimpering inside her jacket.

"That stove in the center? What am I supposed to do with that? He can't play with that thing there!"

Richard came in directly after. "Hey, it's all good." He announced with a hearty laugh. "We're all gonna freeze our tushies off and they'll find us years later in some kind of arctic excavation and thaw us out. Human ice cubes!" He dumped more gear on somebodies cot, and pulled his ice covered knit hat off, leaving his hair as wind-blown and bed head as he could. His eyes met Tracy's. "You can't leave in this weather anyway, so let's make the best of it. Storm's only supposed to last through the night, and we can get to work directly. There's a mess tent just across the yard, and I heard you freaking out over the wood burning stove in the center, a safety hazard for three-year-olds for sure, but we've had a small pre-fabricated cabin brought in and he'll be able to play in there most of the time. Unless somebody is using it for conjugal rites. Then he'll have to wait his turn like the rest of us."

"You're a freak!" Tracy whirled around. "Danny! Look, I have some fruit funs."

Everybody laughed uneasily, shivering until they realized that the tent was actually quite warm, and the sound of the wind whipping against the sides was  soothing.

Monday and Tracy set up their cots, discarding Danny's, Tracy decided she'd sleep with him snuggled next to her and assure his safety. In moments, Austin had added three more cots to the not-crowded space, making six in all, the same six who had ridden up in Tracy's plane. Tracy might have objected to being invaded by the male species, but her ideas had changed since arrival, and she kept her mouth shut, glad for their immediate presence.

It was her first time camping, and she had no idea what to expect. The idea that it was full on dark at four in the afternoon, and that they would all eat, sleep and dress together, showering in a single shower trailer, meant for men and women respectively had never occurred to her. But there was very little private about this kind of set-up. What had given them the idea that tent-camping in the Alaskan Wilderness would be a smart idea anyway?

After eating, there was a general comradery going on among the sparse crew, only the bare minimal for this kind of filming had been invited. Austin and some of the other guys, those who had speaking parts wanted to run lines, even go through the whole set of scenes to be played out while in Alaska. Tracy wanted to crawl inside her down sleeping bag and force her child to sleep, so she could get warm.

And shockingly she was actually cold. She who was rarely if ever cold. But Danny was having none of it. She never should have brought him. Should have let Casey have that supervised visit with his folks as guardians while she was away. She kicked herself for being so naïve. And prideful.

And yet the three-year-old, now pushing four as he so proudly told everyone who would listen, was quite the hit with the crew. They adored him since he couldn't get in the way--- ever, what with his faithful nanny, and bodyguard. He would stay in the tent, or in the mess tent, or in the cabin, which was so small that four people felt like a crowd.

Until the storm blew itself out, maybe some time tomorrow.

She had a head ache, but Richard was nowhere in sight, and she didn't feel like trying to locate him. It was too incriminating, that she needed him so badly. Monday was using the sat phone on her bed being off duty as long as momma was in the teepee. Danny had his lunch box full of guys and little cars, and was running them all over the unused cot, wearing just one pair of pajamas, but two pairs of socks.

Jake had turned in.

Tracy looked across at Redd's cot, decked out with several layers of sleeping gear, and his thin figure inside already, turned to the blowing, billowing wall of the canvas, or cotton-poly fabric. They'd already heard the merits of tent fabric bandied about. Pros and Cons she could care nothing about. The lantern in the center of the ceiling, attached to the longest tent pole where the stove pipe actually went out the roof, was sputtering. There was no flame, it obviously ran on something else, but she couldn't tell what, and felt nervous about heated things and fire in a tent for Pete's sake. Was it even safe? Did these guys know what they were doing?

It was pushing eleven when Richard and Austin quietly came through the flaps, covered in bits of ice and snow that melted instantly. They looked around, spotted Danny still playing and Tracy sitting on the outside of her sleeping bag, looking forlorn with her notebook open, squinting in the dimness.

Austin hung up his jacket on the main top pole, which had a spot for hanging things, and Tracy looked up, chin jerked him, and went back to unaffectedly squinting. Richard, without hesitating, moved his cot closer, and told Danny to come get in his sleeping bag. Tracy closed her notebook and reiterated the instructions as if Richard had never said them. Her eyes refused to meet his. Danny got in Richie's bed.

Richard stripped down to long johns and socks, similar to what he might have worn around the house in Park City. He spoke quietly with Austin who said good night and climbed into his own bag after turning out the guttering light.

Instantly the sound of the wind reminded Tracy of a wolf howling, and she strained to hear if it really was a wolf. She was sure there were wolves out here. She pulled the edge of the sleeping bag up to her cheeks and squeezed her eyes shut as hard as she could, listening to Richard and Danny getting adjusted.

Not five minutes in, Danny wanted to trade up and sleep with Mommy, and Tracy admitted him, but she was not warm, and her bag was not warm, and he quickly wanted back out. She let him go and Richard good-naturedly reclaimed his little body, speaking in very low, soft tones to get him to relax.

He was far too close for comfort, but somewhere in the middle of that diatribe, he reached over and tapped her for a hand, which she reluctantly gave him, hoping the head ache would dissipate. It did. She withdrew, feeling miserable and shivery. Wishing with every ounce of her being she'd declined this job.

She tried to picture Raine, tried to recall if he was assigned his own room, or if he just had a bunk somewhere, a teeny tiny bunk.

"I love you, Momma." Danny said sleepily.

"I love you too, honey." She whispered back, her throat clogging with sweet emotion at his tender words, whether Richard had told him to say them or not.

"Can I go play in the snow?"

"Not tonight, baby. Maybe tomorrow."

"Okay, Mom."

He sounded so grown up and she knew, growing up happened all too fast. All she'd ever wanted was to be this little boy's mom, and now here he was calling her mom, and she couldn't get enough of it.

Richard heard her sniffling. "Hey, you okay?" He whispered.

"Yeah." She said too quickly, wanting to fend him off. But she wasn't, she was cold, and feeling sorry for herself, and her feet were like icicles, her fingers like frozen talons.

"You want me to get another sleeping bag to put over you? Or move the space heater over?" He moved slightly.

"No."

There was no light. She peered up at the ceiling, the flapping, breathing, fluttering, undulating tent wall. It moved, it waited, it rushed again and again, as if beset with millions of birds pouring over them, and then retreating. There was nothing rhythmic about it, the wind, the wind was alive.

She tried to turn over, and the sleeping bag made a rustling sound so loud she thought it would wake the whole tent. Then she thought it would wake Danny who seemed to have finally stopped whispering.

"Tracy, if you-- if you want to come over here and get in, with Danny between us, it might be warmer, sharing body heat."

She shook harder. "I can't. Richard. I can't."

He didn't say anything and after a few minutes she thought he'd gone to sleep, and she tried her best to relax. The shivering didn't stop. It came in angry cold waves. One two three, force me to relax-- four five six-- shake-- force me to relax....

She tried to think about anything else, hear music in her head. It wasn't happening. She worked on relaxing her mind and then each part of her body, but as soon as she got one arm relaxed, the leg tensed up. And the wind! The flap had to be open seriously! It frisked and played all around her, it dragged her hair free, it pulled and pushed at her sleeping bag.

The thing must not be zipped up all the way. She felt along the edges of the zipper till she came to the fastener and checked it. It was up all the way. Maybe she needed a blanket inside with her. Did anybody else need a blanket inside with them?

"Tracy, just come get in with me. I have a bigger cot than you anyway. The bag is big enough. We can put your bag over us."

She felt the smart of tears behind her eyelids. "I want to go home."

"I know. I know, hon. But trust me. I won't -- won't do anything inappropriate. I'm only offering...."

"R-Richard....I c-can't."

"Don't be a prude. It's for warmth, and.... whatever else you need." He gasped at his own unintended double intendre. "Don't take that the wrong way! I just meant----."

"I know wh-what you meant." She shiver-hissed in the wind ravaged stillness, and the glow of the wood stove. "I j-just d-don't think I can do this for three weeks. I j-just don't--."

Richard leaned up on an elbow, sheltering Danny with the sleeping bag. His silhouette against the reddish glow of the stove made him look sinister. Tracy pulled her bag over her head.

He pursed his lips in resignation, wondering how far she would take an estrangement from him if that was what this was or how long she'd last out here before she called it quits.

******