Prologue

Ida can't fathom how life moves while she doesn't.

Everyone around her was walking towards Alfred's coffin, their stance as frigid as his body is. Everyone around her was angling for a hug, which she barely returns and often just ends up as a soft pat on her back. Everyone around her kept saying how sorry they were, how they hope it gets better someday, and how he's at peace wherever he is.

Lies.

Alam niyang hindi payapa si Alfred sa pag-iwan sa kanya. He shouldn't be. She's still here, for fuck's sake. Humihinga pa siya. Nakatayo pa siya. Nararamdaman pa niya ang sakit na gumuguhit sa katawan niya.

He can't leave her alone like this. He can't.

Bakit hindi na lang siya nito isinama? Bakit hindi na lang din siya namatay? She wanted to scream to no one in particular, her heart folding in itself a hundred times until she could no longer feel it beating.

Nanatiling nakatigil ang mga paa niya ilang metro ang layo sa kabaong. Umiikot ang paningin niya-puno ng boses, tunog, at sarili niyang sigaw. She stood there for God knows how long.

Terrified that if she moves, it will all be real.

#ANLHYA1