(No Control | Holding Me Ransom - 90 - Start It All Over Again)

"Oh my God," she breathes, staring into the bag. "Where did you get this? I threw it all away months ago..."

"No, you gave it to Callie to throw away," I remind her. "But she kept it in case you changed your mind."

And made me jump through hoops to get it back, but we won't go into that. 

"I can't believe you would do all this for me," she says through her tears, squeezing me tightly again. 

"I've been planning it for months." I drop a small kiss on the top of her head. "Like I said, I wanted to make everything right again."

"Oh Harry..." (I can't resist leaning down and kissing her on the lips.) "Thank you."

"You're not cross I interfered?" I check. "Getting it all back without asking you, I mean?"

"Of course not! Why would I be?"

"You told me off several times last year for crowding you and trying to run your life for you," I answer honestly. "I was worried you might think I was doing it again."

She shakes her head emphatically as Calvin appears in the doorway behind her. "No, this is completely different. We're back together now, and this the history of us. Of course I wanted it back. And to recreate the night we met, with the same people and the same music... it's just amazing. It's Perfect."

"Don't be corny, Jess," Calvin admonishes.

"Stop eavesdropping," she fires back without breaking eye contact with me.

"I gotta hand it to you, mate. This was pretty awesome." Calvin is addressing me, and seemingly without any sarcasm or menace in his voice. "But you do know you've set the bar now," he adds with a grin. "Imagine what you'll have to do to propose to her. She's gonna expect the world."

"Woah, let's not get ahead of ourselves," Jess interjects. "We've just had the most tumultuous year imaginable. I'd quite like to enjoy some time together without any drama, before we go making any major life decisions like that."

"Amen to that!" I agree. 

Calvin nods too. "Fair point." 

"So...," I begin, turning back to Jess and closing the lid of the laptop with my hand. "Can I offer you a cocktail of some sort? I don't know if you remember, but I'm quite the connoisseur."

"I do remember, thanks," she replies with a grimace as I eject the memory card with all our pictures on it and shove it into the pocket of my jeans. "You made some vile concoction last time that probably eroded the sink on its way down the plughole." 

Have I ever mentioned that I love the way she sasses me? The way she keeps me on my toes? The incredible banter we have that can turn from playful teasing to sexual tension in the blink of an eye? 

"I can see you haven't learnt anything this past year," I retort. "You still don't give an inch."

"Oh hush," she smiles, reaching up and kissing me again as I grin. "I'll let you make me a cherry brandy in the kitchen, if only so I can recreate our first kiss and get myself all hot and bothered like last time."

"Will you ask me for directions?" I ask, sliding my arms around her waist as she grins back at me.

"I've got all the direction I need," she replies with an exaggerated leer that catches me off guard and makes me laugh out loud. 

"Ha! I can see I've been rubbing off on you."

She gently nudges her hips forward and presses against my crotch suggestively. "Not yet," she whispers, and instantly I feel a twitch in my pants. 

"Don't tease me like that," I murmur.

"I thought you liked it when I sent out mixed signals."

"Damn it, Jess," I breathe, pushing my hips back towards hers as my dick tingles in anticipation. I shouldn't be doing this. The last thing I need is a full on boner in public. 

Thankfully Jess takes charge and pulls away from me. "Come on," she smiles. "Let's get that drink." 

I lead her through to the kitchen, fetch two glasses from the table along with the bottle of cherry brandy, triple sec and lemon juice. I thought a cocktail shaker would be a bit pretentious so I settle for mixing them with a glass stirrer before handing one to Jess and clinking mine against hers.

"To us. Happy anniversary."

"Happy anniversary," she replies and we both take a sip of our cocktails. It's icy cold and almost makes me shiver as it goes down. 

"Well, it's not as bad as previous attempts," I observe. Thank God. 

"I think it's nice," she shrugs. 

"That's because you're a girl, and this is a girl's drink." 

I'm hoping she remembers this comment from last time, and the twinkle in her eye tells me she does. 

"So are you going to kiss me or what?" she demands after a moment, still grinning at me. 

"I thought you'd never ask."

I take a step towards her so her body is touching mine and lick my lips. As she tilts her head towards me I close my eyes and savour the feel of her lips against mine. The cherry brandy cocktail tastes so much better on her. The icy liquid I have just swallowed now burns hot inside me, tongues of fire licking the inside of my belly as her breasts press softly against my chest. I can't imagine ever kissing her and not being turned on by the feel of her in my arms. 

She breaks the kiss after a moment and smiles up at me. 

"You still turn me to mush," she admits. 

"The feeling's mutual," I admit, aware that I can't seem to stop smiling tonight. This house party was a brilliant idea, even if I say so myself. It's evoked so many memories and taken me right back to the day we met. 

Behind Jess and through the doorway to the lounge I can see Ellie Goulding holding a microphone up in the air and looking at me questioningly. I give a discreet nod and she nods back and gives the DJ behind her a thumbs up. 

"Let's go through to the lounge," I suggest to Jess, not wanting her to miss this. "Come on."

I lead her by the hand back towards Ellie and the DJ and she leans in towards my ear. "Where's Callie and Calvin? And Maddie?"

I shrug, not caring at this precise moment because I am waiting for the look on Jess's face when she recognises the song. 

The opening notes of the track begin to play and she jerks her head up immediately. 

"Oh! Our song!" 

"Well it wouldn't be a proper anniversary if we didn't hear this," I murmur into her ear. "Live."

I hear her sharp intake of break just before Ellie sings the first line, "You're the light, you're the night, you're the colour of my blood..."

"Is this...," Jess begins, apparently lost for words. "Did you arrange this?!" 

"I may have had something to do with it," I reply coyly, and mentally high five myself at the sight of her bottom lip wobbling again. Calvin was right: I've definitely set the bar tonight. The marriage proposal will have to be epic if it's going to top this. 

And yes, I know I said that the level of commitment that marriage signifies seems impossibly far off, and it still does. But I can honestly see myself marrying this girl one day. 

"Is there any limit to how lovely and amazing you are?" she sniffs, wiping more tears from her eyes. 

"I know there's no limit to how much I love you," I offer. 

"I love you, too." 

Ellie's performance is perfect - it has the rawness of a house party karaoke but the clarity of a professional singer (obviously). I watch Jess watching Ellie, her eyes sparkling, her beam never faltering. I'm so happy that tonight has gone so well. We have a quick chat with Ellie after the song is finished and then Jess excuses herself to the bathroom because of some sort of imaginary mascara smudge on her face ("You could have told me I looked a show!") so I take the opportunity to just breathe after the craziness and hectic planning that has gone into the last few weeks. I'm just pondering how well Callie has behaved when she appears behind me as though summoned like the devil. 

"Jess seems to be enjoying herself," she says in my ear, and I turn towards her and smile tentatively. 

"Yeah, I think she's happy," I nod slowly. 

"She definitely is," Callie agrees, looking down at her feet. "You've pulled off another epic gesture, I'll give you that." 

I frown, trying not to take her comment as a jibe but I just never know with this girl. 

"I hope you don't think that's all they are," I object, as tactfully as I can. "Gestures, I mean. They're not for show. I just want to make Jess happy and show her how much she means to me. How much I appreciate her. That's all."

"I know," she sighs. "I didn't mean it in a bad way. I just mean you're really good at thinking up really amazing stuff that makes every other bloke look like an arsehole in comparison." 

I'm not sure how to respond to this. I hesitate for a moment and in the end settle for an "um, thanks." 

"Sorry," she says, closing her eyes for a moment. "That didn't come out how I intended either. I don't mean to sound jealous, or resentful, because I promise I'm not. I'm genuinely so happy for Jess. I suppose it's just.... in my experience, blokes don't do nice stuff like this -" she gestures around us "- unless either they have an ulterior motive, or they're compensating for being a complete prick underneath it all. I've been trying to figure out which one you are, but I'm starting to realise maybe you're neither." 

"I just really love Jess," I tell her. "No ulterior motive. No compensating. I'm just being me. You don't have to like me, but I hope we can at least try and be civil for Jess's sake. I don't think she's enjoyed the tension between us. It can't have been easy for her." 

"No, you're right," she sighs again. "I know you love her - I've known that for a long time. But I still gave you a hard time, and that's also made Jess's life hard which I never intended. I've been a bit of a bitch to you. I got too involved in your relationship with Jess and I shouldn't have. I crossed a line." 

A bit of a bitch? A BIT? I really have to bite my tongue over this comment. 

"I suppose I can understand how it must have looked," I concede, as graciously as I can. 

"Yeah, well you two make a great couple," she says, looking me straight in the eye. "For what it's worth I really am sorry for all the stuff last year."

"It's fine. Let's just forget it ever happened."

Callie nods, her eyes fixed on a spot on the wall now. 

"Are you going to tell her?" 

I'm taken aback by this question. What would be the point in telling Jess about all this now it's sorted? It would just wreck her friendship with Callie and make her miserable.

"I don't think that would do any of us any good, do you?" I reply after a moment. 

"Actually I think it would do me the world of good." 

I jolt as if I've been electrocuted at the sound of Jess's voice right behind me. She sounds really pissed off. 

"Jess," Callie exhales, her face visibly draining of colour.

"What's going on?" Her tone is clipped, impatient. "What are you hiding from me? And don't bother lying to me. There have been way too many unexplained moments between you two these past few months that I've previously put down to my own imagination." 

Oh God, what does she think she has witnessed? What on earth does she think has been going on? 

"Don't be silly," I try to reassure her. "We're not hiding anything." But even as I utter the words they sound false. 

"I said don't lie to me!" she erupts, just as Callie interjects. 

"No - I can't avoid this forever. The game's up, Harry. I need to be honest with her. I need to tell her the truth." 

What? She's actually going to confess to being at utter witch the last few months, and ruin tonight for Jess in the process?

"I've been such a bitch, Jess," she says miserably. "I'm so sorry."

"Callie," I begin, feeling anger rise in me at the thought of the witch making tonight all about her, as fucking usual, but she is not to be deterred. 

"It started last summer..." 

---***--- 

Belated Merry Christmas! I never intended to leave it so long between updates but December is always crazy busy so I just haven't made the time to sit and write or edit. But here I am, and I hope whoever is reading this had a lovely festive period. There was (and still is) far too much Prosecco and Baileys in my house but I am enjoying them far too much to care! I'm also munching my way slowly through the leftover turkey, roast potatoes and stuffing loving every minute. 

It looks like this series won't be finished by the end of this year (Bah Humbug) but that doesn't mean I've forgotten about it. I'll be continuing to edit when I can and finish the last few chapters xxx