(No Control | Holding Me Ransom - 82 - Everybody Wants You)

Her face drops and I feel a stab of sickness in my stomach.

"It's nothing, really," I mutter.

"What's nothing?" 

Oh God. Here goes.

"Someone made a pass at me, a while ago," I begin. She stares at me, her face completely straight. "An air hostess, called Megan. She tried to kiss me, and I literally had to lean back to get away from her. I set her straight immediately, but this morning she, uh..." 

I can't believe I'm having this conversation! I am literally squirming.

"She what?" Jess squeaks. She looks terrified, like she's waiting for some sort of infidelity bombshell again. I hate myself for provoking that reaction from her.

"She sent me a picture," I say in a rush. "Of herself. Um, sort of topless."

"What?" Jess barks.

"I didn't ask her to!" I protest. "It came out of nowhere! I haven't spoken to her in months! Look..."

I fumble in my pocket for my phone, unlocking the screen and scrolling to Megan's message. My hands are trembling as I turn the screen towards Jess but she holds her hand up to block it from her view.

"I don't want to see!" 

"I want you to," I plead, because I know there will always be that seed of doubt unless she sees the message thread for herself. "And I need you to see my reply to her, in case this ever comes back to bite me on the arse."

Reluctantly she lowers her hand and peers at the screen. Her face drops and her eyes widen. "What the fuck...?" 

"I'm sorry," I shrug helplessly. "Look at the other messages - I didn't encourage her, I swear! I told her I wasn't interested ages ago, and then suddenly, out of the blue, she sent me this!"

Her eyes flick over the screen, reading the messages. There are only a handful so it doesn't take long.

"When did you tell her you weren't interested?" she asks after a moment.

"Twice, last summer," I answer. "She tried to kiss me once but I managed to pull away in time, and then she caught me off guard a couple of weeks later and kissed me on a flight. I told her again it wasn't going to happen and I thought she'd got the message. She's a nice girl, she worked on the jet while we were touring the US, and came to a couple of shows. The other lads used to wind me up about her, saying she was into me. Once I realised they were right and she was, I set her straight. Or so I thought." I try to pack as much information as I can into this explanation, to show that I have absolutely nothing to hide.

"Why didn't you tell me about her sooner?"

"I'd forgotten all about it," I sigh. "You and I weren't even on speaking terms at the time. It was only when I got this picture that I thought I should probably mention it to you, but I wanted to talk to you in person and you were already on the plane on your way here. I was going to show you when you arrived, just to cover my back really. And as you can see, she hasn't replied to me since."

She exhales slowly, as though she has been holding a large breath. I give her a hesitant smile, which she returns.

"Are we OK?" I ask.

"Yeah, course we are," she sighs. "It would take more than a stupid topless picture to shake us. Even if I am fizzing inside at her sheer audacity."

Thank fuck. She trusts me, yet again.

"Thank you," I whisper into her hair as I take her in my arms. "I don't know where you find this depth of trust in me, but I can't explain how much it means to me. Everyone else has always run a mile."

Her arms tighten around my waist and she presses her face into my neck. "I couldn't walk away from you now. I love you. But this kind of stuff just makes me want to go public even more. I've had enough of people thinking you're single and available."

If only it were that simple. "Megan knew I wasn't interested," I tell her. "I didn't go into details about me and you as I was still trying to win you back and wanted to keep us under wraps. But she knew I was off limits. Yet she still tried. Twice."

She narrows her eyes and focuses on a spot far away as she responds. "There will always be those girls who go after other people's boyfriends, but the joke's on them if the whole world knows you're spoken for."

This is true. But still not enough.

"You'll get hate from a lot of fans, once the world knows we're together," I point out. "I'm not trying to put you off, because I really really want this. But I only want it if it's the right thing for both of us."

"I gave up reading my Twitter mentions a long time ago," she responds, all very matter-of-factly. "I'm not interested in the haters. And I don't want to spill every detail of our lives, but I do want people to know we're together. I'm not saying I'll find it easy, but it's never going to be easy, no matter when we do it. There will never be the perfect moment; there will always be a reason to delay. But I'm ready now."

It sounds like she's been thinking about this for a while and has considered all the pros and cons.

"OK," I nod. "Think about it this week. If you still feel the same way by the time you go home, we'll do it." She frowns up at me as though she's about to argue that she wants to do it sooner. "I just want you to be absolutely sure it's what you want," I add. "And it will give you time to get used to the idea, before we press the button and change both our lives forever. Deal?"

Her face breaks into a smile. "Deal."

"I promise I will tell you immediately if she texts me again. Or if anything like this happens again, for that matter," I assure her, and she gives an inclination of her head.

"As I'm sure it will. Your desirability isn't going to decrease just because you're in a relationship. I completely understand that, and I accept it. And as long as you're open and honest with me about everything, I'm fine with it."

"I fucking love you, Jessica Bradshaw," I murmur, grabbing her and pulling her against me into the tightest hug.

"I fucking love you too, Harry Styles," she whispers into my chest.

~~~

We spend an hour or so in the lounge watching TV with Mum and Robin but I can tell Jess is shattered and jet-lagged so we head up for an early night, leaving Mum and Robin downstairs to watch a film. I carry Jess's luggage upstairs to the bedroom and watch as she retrieves her wash bag and one of those little strappy camisole things she wears to bed. 

"I might have a shower, if that's OK," she asks.

"Of course, you don't have to ask," I tell her as I look around for the remote. "This is your home too. Treat it as such. I bought you some girly shampoo, and some cherry scented shower gel - they're on the shelf next to the temperature gauge."

"Thank you, that really is so sweet," she smiles softly, and again I'm glad I made the effort. These small things all help to make her feel at home here, I guess.

"I'm a sweet kinda guy," I joke.

"Yes you are," she agrees. Then, "What are you doing?"

She has removed her top and is standing there in just a bra and jeans. I'm confused - I thought she was going for a shower?

"I was going to watch TV while you had a shower," I frown.

"I was sort of hoping you might join me," she suggests, the corners of her mouth tugging at a seductive smile. 

Fuck, yeah! I scramble for the remote to mute the TV.

"Well I don't need to be asked twice!"

She grins at me as I slide off the bed into her arms and kiss her on the mouth. She pulls me into the bathroom, our lips still touching, and tugs at my tshirt. Once it's on the floor I remove her bra and pull her against me so her erect nipples are pressed against my chest. There is something so fucking hot about bare boobs on my chest. I'm hard already. 

She tugs impatiently at my jeans next and within a minute we are both naked, the water is running, and we step underneath the jets. Her lips glide over mine and I nudge my erection against her, reaching behind her to retrieve the shower gel from the rack on the wall and squeeze a blob into my hands. I warm it up between my fingers, and then stare into her eyes as I gently run my slick hands over her breasts. She closes her eyes and whimpers softly as my dick twitches involuntarily. I remember the first time she came to LA and we had a similar moment like this, when things were still so new. Her arms slip around my waist and she squeezes my bum, allowing me to push my hips gently forward and slide between her thighs as I run my thumbs over her nipples. As I pull back again she reaches between us and curls her fingers around me, copying my thumb movements with her own over my tip. She moans again as I apply the smallest amount of pressure to her nipples, before dipping my head and running my tongue along her collarbone. 

She pushes me back against the tiled wall and I push my erection hard against her, rubbing myself slowly and drawing another sign of pleasure from her - clearly I'm hitting just the right spot. She lifts one leg and my tip slips inside her. She's so hot and wet that my legs almost give way. I hear myself grunt in pleasure as she pushes herself towards me and I am all the way in, still stroking her nipples and watching her face as she moans my name, her eyes squeezed shut.

"That good?" I whisper as I begin to move, and she nods breathlessly. "How good?" I press.

"Really, really fucking good," she whimpers. 

"Oh God, Jess," I groan, pushing harder into her as one leg wraps around me. "I want you to come," I murmur into her mouth as the water cascades down our faces.

"I will," she breathes. "I will... I love you... I love you so much."

"I know, baby," I pant. "I love you too. You are everything to me."

"You're everything to me," she replies, and she pulls back from my kiss for a moment to look into my eyes. I slow my movements almost to a stop, staring deep into her soul and relishing the feel of her all around me. I have never felt this way about anyone, or felt this connected to anyone before. This is fucking intense.

"Jump," I tell her, and I lift her as she does so, staying inside her and kissing her hard. I turn around, pressing her back against the tiles. She lets out a gasp of shock and I pound into her, harder and faster than before, pushing myself in as deep as I can while she whimpers into my mouth and digs her nails into my skin. 

She comes a few seconds before me, gasping and moaning as I grunt my own satisfaction into her ear. I can barely control my thrusts as my hips buck, completely surrendered to this incredible pleasure and wishing it could go on forever. Eventually her feet find the floor of the shower again and I slip out of her, soft and spent. We stand under the shower head for a minute, holding each other tightly and regaining our breath, before I grab two towels and climb out of the shower. Jess's eyes are rolling as she's drying her hair in the bedroom, and I swear she's asleep before her head even hits the pillow. 

I lie awake for a while with her in my arms, running over the events of the evening. Everything just feels so right. I can't imagine her ever not being in my life.

---***---

Today (25th March 2023) is 8 years to the day that I posted the very first chapter of No Control. Coincidentally, it was the same day that Zayn left One Direction! It doesn't seem like 8 years ago, and I can't believe I still haven't completed the series by now... I haven't done as much prep for this book over the last 2 weeks as I was hoping to do, but I'm still determined to complete it during April this year as planned. So if I don't post another chapter before the writing process begins officially on 1st April, I'll be back as soon as I can with more updates and hopefully with news of a completed book!  xx