(No Control | Holding Me Ransom - 61 - They Don't Mean Anything)

I see a shadow of apprehension flash across Jess's face. "I thought you said Nadine and Sara don't even speak to each other anymore," she says, and her voice sounds oddly forced.

"They don't," I confirm. "But work's work. Sara is here with Victoria's Secret according to Kendall. And I doubt Nadine would pass up the opportunity to attend the AMAs."

Behind me, Kendall is nodding.

"What do you want to do?" I ask Jess. "I don't want you to feel uncomfortable at all. If you'd rather leave, it's fine. We'll do whatever you want."

"Why should Jess leave?" Louis demands, looking between me and Jess with a look of distaste on his face. "She's done nothing wrong."

Easy for you to say, I open my mouth to retort, but Jess answers first.

"I'm happy to stay, if you are. I'm not scared of Sara, or Nadine for that matter. I don't particularly want anything to do with either of them if I'm honest, but I'm not running away from them. Can't we just stay out of their way?"

Her voice, although still a bit higher than usual, sounds controlled and level, and I nod slowly.

"Of course," I murmur in her ear as I slip my arm around her waist and pull her close to me, strangely proud of her for her guts.

"But where's the fun in that?" Louis' voice comes, like the devil on her shoulder. "I say we find those bitches and own them!"

"Stop winding her up," I warn him, but he's too busy grinning at Jess. This is right up Louis's street: he loves nothing more than stirring up a bit of trouble and causing some drama for his own personal entertainment.

"I don't want any trouble," Jess shuts him down with a shake of her head.

"Ah, Jess, you disappoint me," he teases. "Where's your sass gone? I could always count on you to slay with a clever one-liner."

"There's a time and a place," she replies, with finality. "And now is not it."

That's my girl. I always knew she had class.

"You're way too classy for this loser," Louis sighs, obviously referring to me, and then he lowers his voice and directs his last comment at Jess. "But let me know if you change your mind and wanna go and kick some Victoria's-Secret-arse."

"I heard that," I grumble, but neither of them are listening; they're too busy cackling mischievously.

After that I'm on high alert for the faintest sniff of trouble. My eyes dart around the room every few seconds, keeping a lookout for either Sara or Nadine. The appearance of either of them could be damaging; Nadine because she's already proved she'll stop at nothing to make waves and Sara because while I don't perceive her to be a troublemaker, I don't want Jess to have to come face to face with the girl I cheated with. 

It's sometime later, when I realise I've been engrossed in a conversation for a good ten minutes and look up to do my ritual survey of the room, that I notice Jess is missing. I scan all around me, hoping to see her talking to someone from our extended group, but she is nowhere to be seen and after a quick recce of our party I conclude the only other person missing is Louis. While this causes me a brief twinge of jealousy (I'm only human), most of me is relieved that wherever she is, she'll be well-protected. Louis would never stand for anyone being rude to her. I can only pray she hasn't given in to his goading and let him go looking for trouble. 

Five minutes later they wend their way back through the crowd towards me, Louis's arm around Jess's shoulders. "There are you are," I smile, knowing full well I sound possessive and clingy. "I wondered where you'd gone."

"Bathroom," she mutters, and as Louis steps away from her she steps straight into my arms.

"Are you OK?" I frown, unnerved by the looks on their faces.

"Just had a run-in with Nadine," Louis explains, and my heart drops to my toes.

"What?!" I pull back from Jess to look at her face. Her eyes look vaguely bloodshot, but her expression is casual.

"It's fine," she shrugs nonchalantly. "She was a bitch, I walked away. Nothing to report."

I can already feel my blood starting to boil. "What did she say?"

"Nothing worth repeating." She lifts her head and kisses me firmly on the lips.

I'm not fooled. I can tell she's rattled, but doesn't want to go into details here.

"Tell me later?" I murmur, kissing her back in reply, and she nods without removing her lips from mine, tightening her grip around my waist. OK, she's definitely rattled. I could kill Nadine.

"Get a room," Louis groans, and Jess pulls away from me and turns to Louis defiantly.

"And deprive you of a front row seat? I'm not that selfish. Next time bring popcorn."

I can't help laughing at this comeback, especially after our conversation earlier while we were getting ready for tonight. Louis really is no match for Jess.

"You're one of kind, you, Jess," Louis grins, apparently unable to think up a better retort. 

Before anyone else can reply, a familiar voice behind me says softly, "Hi, Harry."

My entire body stiffens in response. I'm momentarily speechless, and a blind rage rushes through me unlike anything I've ever experienced. Jess looks up as I turn towards the voice. I don't want to engage with Nadine, but I also don't want to give her any excuse to make a scene.

"Nadine," I mutter curtly, and then immediately turn my back on her and look Jess in the eye. "Would you like another drink, baby?"

Jess doesn't even have time to open her mouth to answer. Nadine speaks again, to my back.

"I've still got one of your shirts at my apartment in New York. If I'd thought, I would have brought it tonight, sorry."

I'm not stupid. I know she's saying this in front of Jess to get a reaction.

"Keep it," I answer shortly, without turning round. I hope this will be enough for her to get the hint to leave us alone but apparently not.

"Really?" she says softly. "It's one of your favourites. You wore it the night we went for dinner with my family, remember?" 

"Like I said, keep it," I repeat, turning slightly towards her so she can't fail to understand me. "Or bin it. Whatever." I look back at Jess again, whose eyes are fixed on mine, refusing to entertain Nadine.

"Sara's looking for you," comes Nadine's voice again, and as I look at her impatiently I notice she is playing with her hair and looking at me in the way she used to when we were together, in a way I once told her drove me wild. I know exactly what she's doing, and it's making me feel sick with anger. "You're looking really well, by the way," she adds. "As always."

"Thanks. See you later," I reply bluntly, and turn away again, this time taking a step away from her to reinforce the point that she is not welcome. I slip my hand into Jess's and lean down to her ear. "Shall we get out of here?" 

"I'm fine," she smiles, but it doesn't reach her eyes and I know she is hating this as much as I am. I am furious at Nadine for being so fucking manipulative, and at myself for allowing this happen.

"Well, nice seeing you again, Harry," Nadine says, and for a second I feel a flood of relief that she is leaving, right before a rush of horror as she leans towards me to kiss me goodbye. I flinch away from her in shock, and then all of a sudden there are loads of people in the way, a waiter carrying a tray of drinks and Niall telling Nadine to be careful before some sort of a collision, a yelp of distress from Nadine and a sickening crash as thirty champagne glasses tip over her and her arse hits the floor.

While everyone in the immediate area flaps and panics and tries to help Nadine to her feet, my eyes are drawn to Louis; a lone figure amidst the chaos who makes a show of picking something up off the floor - his jacket, apparently - exaggeratedly brushing dust off the sleeve and muttering something about an unfortunate accident. I don't have time to take this in however, as Nadine is busy causing further mayhem by pointing the finger at Jess.

"She pushed me!" she is screaming, but Jess gives her an airy look of disdain.

"What?!"

"She was nowhere near you," I snap, putting my arm around Jess's waist again in a deliberate act of solidarity as the waiter apologises profusely, admits full responsibility and insists on paying for the cleaning bill.

"Damn right you will!" Nadine wails, straightening her ruined dress and turning to Jess again. "This was a set up, wasn't it?! This was down to you!"

Jess literally laughs in her face. "A set up?!" she crows. "No, love. That's your speciality, not mine. Calm down and, er, powder your nose or something." (She draws quotation marks in the air at this point.) "I daresay you need it after that."

I give her waist a squeeze as Louis guffaws in delight, "Oof! Slay!"

Nadine turns to him now, snarling. "I might have known you'd be up her ass," she hisses. "I'm surprised Harry trusts you two to be in the same room after your little liaison -"

"That's enough!" I cut across her tirade and everyone falls silent and looks at me in surprise. My heart is pounding, not just from fury at her behaviour but from the adrenaline now coursing through my veins. Nadine finally has the grace to look ashamed. "What you did in New York was sick," I tell her, my voice trembling. "For all you knew, I could have been allergic to that shit you gave me. I could have fucking died!"

"I didn't actually give you -" she begins, but I cut her off again and she shuts up immediately.

"Don't try and wriggle out of this on a technicality! You risked the safety of not only me, but Sara and Jason as well, and anyone else who may have taken it." She folds her arms, and her eyes dart briefly to the others who are all standing around staring at me, their mouths slightly open. "You almost ruined my relationship with the love of my life. I was a fucking mess after what you did! It took me months to get over it. And for you to turn up here insulting my girl and my best friend... I don't know how you have the audacity."

I pause for a breath and she glares at me with her own undisguised fury.

"Come near me or anyone I love again, and I will speak out about what you did," I warn her. "I will take whatever the media has to throw at me. I'll brave the inevitable shit storm. It would be worth it to ruin your life the way you ruined mine. Global brands like Victoria's Secret don't like negative press, particularly when it's drugs-related. Mud sticks. So just bear that in mind, yeah?"

She makes a gutteral noise of disgust and defeat, and with one last look of contempt at Jess, she turns and flounces off through the crowd.

"Yes Harold!" It's Louis, of course, who has broken the silence.

"That was sick," Lottie breathes, and Niall adds, "She had that coming to her. Good on ya, Harry."

"Excuse me just for a second," Louis mutters, and I see him step to one side, taking the waiter who dropped the drinks on Nadine with him. They speak in hushed tones and I swear Louis hands him something discreetly, although I have no idea what.

"Are you alright?" Jess asks in a hushed tone, as I let out a shaky breath and look down at her, my pulse racing and my palms sweaty.

"I will be," I nod. "I'm sorry you had to experience that tonight. I'm sorry for whatever Nadine said to you when you were with Louis. You shouldn't have to deal with that sort of abuse."

She shakes her head. "Don't apologise. It's not your fault-"

"It is," I interrupt, coming down from the adrenaline high and feeling suddenly miserable. "Of course it is. This all stems from what I did. It just seems like every time we start to move on, something happens to pull us back."

Her fingers are cool on my cheeks as she looks deep into my eyes. "You need to stop beating yourself up. I'm over it. We're over it."

Callie isn't over it. Nadine isn't over it. Calvin, I'm sure, isn't over it. Sometimes I feel it will never go away, and will always be there, lurking in the background, waiting to rear its ugly head. Sometimes I lose hope that we will ever find a way to have that fresh start, to begin again, to leave all this tainted past behind us.

"I just don't know how else to make this right," I hear myself say out loud. "I just want everything to be perfect."

"It is perfect," she replies, trying to catch my eye, and I rest my forehead against hers feeling deflated and defeated all of a sudden. "You don't need to try so hard."

"I do," I whisper. Because if I can't prove to her friends and family that I've changed, what hope is there for us? What chance do we have of ever moving on? 

"What do you mean?" she probes, but of course I can't tell her what is going on in my head because she doesn't know the half of it.

"Just be yourself, Harry," she says softly, still cupping my face in her hands. "That's all I want. I just want you." She lets go and sweeps her arm out to gesture to our surroundings. "All of this isn't what matters. It's not important." She hesitates, and then with an apologetic but self-indulgent smile she adds, "Minibars, expensive cars, hotel rooms and new tattoos, good Champagne and private planes... they don't mean anything."

Oh God, it's so good to hear the Directioner in her coming out again. It's cathartic. It's like the good old days, before I fucked things up. "I never thought I'd see the day I was glad you were releasing your inner fangirl," I smile, and when she looks at me with confusion I add quickly, "I just mean I'm happy you're finding peace with everything again. I was afraid I'd ruined your love of One Direction, and I hated myself for destroying such a huge part of your life. I would do anything - absolutely anything - to make you happy."

Like seriously, she doesn't know the extent of these fucking hoops I am having to jump through for bloody Callie. 

"You do make me happy," she insists and for a second - the briefest second - I consider telling her all about my conversations with Callie. But then the moment's gone, and I feel stone cold sober and ready to get the fuck out of here and have some time alone with Jess in that fucking sexy dress.

"Let's get out of here," I declare. "Are you ready to go now?"

"Of course," she nods.

"Then wait here," I instruct as I check my phone and see there is no signal inside this part of the building. "I'll call a car and be right back."

---***---

I added this author's note in Jess's POV at this point and feel it needs to be here too: 

I just want to say that although I do try to keep this book as close to real-life events as possible, there is obviously a lot of stuff that is invented to enhance the plot. I have absolutely nothing against the real Nadine Leopold, or Sara Sampaio. Their personalities in this story are entirely created by me! 

(Although I did hear there were ructions between Nadine and Sara after Sara's night in New York with Harry, and further discord once Georgia Fowler joined the Styles club too...) 👀

I've not been very active on Wattpad these last couple of weeks, as I've been taking some time out to relax in the evenings after the mania of NaNoWriMo! It's Christmas Eve tomorrow so I doubt I'll have time to post another chapter beforehand, so MERRY CHRISTMAS 🎄 to all those who celebrate it, and here's hoping 2021 is a better year for everyone xxx