(No Control | Holding Me Ransom - 60 - Good Champagne and Private Planes)

"Fuck's sake," Louis moans, as he climb the steps of the jet just behind me a couple of hours later. "It's the one with the squeaky seat."

"You're always complaining, you, Tommo," Liam teases him, shoving him from behind and causing him to garb onto the handrail to steady himself as he stumbles into me.

"Well fucking hell, I hate this plane," he mutters, and as I step inside the cabin I feel Louis trying to elbow me out of the way so he can get to the back of the plane where the noise of the squeaky seat is less noticeable. I dig my feet into the carpet, refusing to let him past, and after barging past Jess in rather a rough way (for which I throw her an apologetic grin) I manage to secure the back row, leaving Louis to take the seats across the aisle.

Jess sits down next to me and Louis gives us a pointed look. "No funny business," he warns, pointing his finger at us.

"Nah, there are no beds on this one," I joke.

"Harry!" Jess reprimands me, a blush tinging her cheeks.

"It's a bit late to be acting demure, Jess," Louis teases her, and her blush deepens further.

I lean towards her and murmur in her ear, "You'd be surprised how discreet you can be under a blanket, anyway," which earns me a smack on the thigh. "I'm not joking," I grin, and she sighs tolerantly.

"Oh I know that. I've never met anyone so insatiable in my life."

I lean close to her again, close enough to see the wispy baby hairs around her hairline and the freckle just above her right ear. 

"Can you blame me?" I ask, lowering my voice so I won't be overheard. "You're the most beautiful and amazing person I've ever met in my whole life. I can't get close enough to you."

"Ugh, you two are so soppy it's disgusting," Louis grumbles; clearly I wasn't quiet enough.

"Danielle not falling for your charms?" I ask innocently, and he throws us a coy look.

"It's all in hand."

"What's this?" Jess asks, looking from me to Louis and back to me again. "Who's Danielle?"

"Louis' latest crush," I inform her as Louis looks faintly embarrassed. "Danielle Campbell. An American actress."

It's nice to watch him squirm for a change.

"Really?" Jess asks meaningfully and Louis looks sheepishly out of the window.

"Yeah yeah, alright, don't take the piss."

"I wouldn't dream of it, Louis," she declares, exchanging a mischievous look with me, but something tells me she's banking this piece of information and will pull it out at a well-timed moment in the future, hopefully for Louis' maximum embarrassment.

~~~

Our appearance on Ellen is fun. We perform a couple of songs from the new album and are interviewed in the studio. The best part about all of this is watching Jess's face in the audience as she tries to act naturally and not draw attention to herself. I think I'm the one in danger of giving us away though, as knowing she is there in the front row next to Lou Teasdale, just a few feet away from me and constantly in my peripheral vision, gives me the biggest adrenaline rush. I'm constantly aware of her; even when I'm looking at Ellen she's visible just out of the corner of my right eye and I can't resist allowing my gaze to stray to her a couple of times, most importantly when we're playing some stupid game of Never Have I Ever, which mysteriously seems to have been written purely to embarrass me. Ellen asks who has hooked up with a fan; as the audience screams and my stomach gives an uncomfortable flip, I will myself NOT to look in Jess's direction as I halfheartedly lift my little paddle to show 'I have'. I can't resist however, and allow myself the teeniest glance at her and the briefest smile to flicker across my lips before I brush it off and declare, "I think mine's broken." Luckily we move on swiftly, and the only other awkward moment is when a fan is invited onto the stage and after greeting the others politely, attaches herself to me and kisses my face repeatedly, to the point where, after a furtively apologetic look in Jess's direction again, security are about to intervene and I am forced to give a thumbs up behind the girl's back to show I'm not in any danger.

I'm aware that Jess has never really been exposed to that side of the fans; at least not while we've been together. There was the incident when she first came to LA to stay with me, and when the girl in Starbucks gave me her number, but apart from that she hasn't seen anyone be really full on like this before. I feel the need to apologise to her on the way back from the studios, much to Louis' amusement.

"Fucking hell, it's not like you were enjoying it," he sniggers as Jess brushes off my apology. "The girl was practically suctioned to your face!"

"Yeah, did you see Preston ready to jump in?" Liam chuckles. "He was bouncing on the balls of his feet, even after H had given him a thumbs up."

"I'm really sorry," I mutter again, but Jess just laughs. 

"Harry, stop stressing," she smiles. "I thought you handled it brilliantly. And I'm not  bothered - honestly."

"Not even a little bit?" I ask hopefully.

"No chill," Louis remarks, staring out of the window and I nudge his leg with my knee.

Jess looks at me with an indulgent smile. "Do you want me to be bothered?" she grins. "OK - it wasn't nice seeing another girl kissing your face, but I could tell by your eyes that you were uncomfortable. It bothered me, but it didn't bother me. Will that do?"

Her eyes are crinkled at the corners, and I want to kiss her but I know I'll be ripped apart by the rest of them so I refrain.

"For now," I answer, holding her gaze as I grin back, and she gives me the cheekiest wrinkle of her nose which makes my stomach flutter.

Our appearance on Kimmel goes without a hitch, and then we have a couple of days off. It's nice being able to hang out at my house with Jess; we have Jeff and Glenne over for dinner one evening, and the following night I take Jess out for a meal to a little Italian place in Malibu that is private and fairly off-radar. We don't bother to dress up, opting for jeans and casual tops, and I can honestly say it's one of my favourite evenings ever. We go completely unnoticed, tucked away in a corner, a flickering candle between us and the luxury of all the time in the world - for tonight, at least. 

She puts her fork down at the end of her main course and leans back in her chair, reaching for her wine glass and taking a sip with her eyes half closed. "That," she breathes softly, "was one of the best meals I have ever had."

"It's one of the best evenings I've ever had," I add, setting my own cutlery down too and exhaling contentedly. "My favourite times with you are always the snatched moments of privacy. I think it's because I never know when they might end abruptly by someone noticing us, so I appreciate them even more."

She's wearing a lovesick grin that I recognise so well from my own face when she says these sorts of things to me. I love how into each other we are. I love how fucking soppy we both are, and how little we care about how fucking soppy we are.

"I know what you mean," she smiles. "I love the quiet moments. But I also love the crazy moments, and being part of your world-famous lifestyle, even if it is just behind the scenes."

"I'm glad that you do," I tell her, suddenly serious. "I still sometimes worry that one day you'll decide you've had enough of all this. You can still walk away and be anonymous, if you wanted to."

"I don't want to," she says immediately. "I might not know the full extent of what I'm getting into - yet. I would be incredibly naive to assume that I've got the full measure of handling your fame, and dealing with the media, and upholding yours and the band's image. But I'm learning about it slowly, and with each new addition I feel a little more confident, and a little more prepared to handle the next step, whatever that may be."

"I think it's been a good thing that you've been with us for this last week," I remark. "And I think you'll love the AMAs tomorrow night. The awards shows are always great fun."

"I am looking forward to that," I nod.

"You'll get to meet so many of my friends. I can't wait to introduce you to them all, including Kendall - you know, my ex-girlfriend? She'll be there with her sisters. And obviously Jeff and Glenne are going, so you'll know them. It'll be a great opportunity for me to show you off. And," I add thoughtfully, "I suppose all of this is sort of a learning curve, in some kind of way."

"More than a learning curve. It's been an eye opener!" she smiles. "But yes - I think it's been good for me to have a small taste of this for a few days. I'll never truly experience it in the same way you do - you're the famous one, not me. But seeing the craziness first hand has been an amazing experience. I completely understand why you value your privacy, and share so little of your personal life with the outside world."

"Do you?" I press. "Do you really? Because I would hate for you to think that there's any other reason behind my desire for keeping my private life private. Even once we've gone public - if we ever decide we're ready for that step -" (I add quickly) " - I'm not the sort of person who'll be posting personal pictures of us every five minutes. I don't want to share that much of our relationship. I just want the world to know there's no one else for me other than you."

"I get it," she says earnestly, reaching across the table to take my hand. "I really, really get it. I don't need constant instagram pictures, or Facebook posts, or Snapchat stories to declare undying love. I'm not that kind of girl. I just want your love, Harry. You have mine. You'll always have mine."

"Always?" I repeat, a flush of heat flooding my body as the strange tingle is back in my stomach.

"Of course," she smiles, her face looking a little rosy. "You had me at the spilled drink. I've told you before, I'm in way too deep now."

"You have mine too," I assure her, squeezing her hand gently, resisting an urge to say something fucking stupid and unretractable, even though it feels like the most normal and obvious thing in the world right now.

I settle instead for gazing into her eyes - I get so lost inside those eyes - and taking her home after our meal and straight to bed, where I show her she is, and always will be, the only girl for me.

~~~

I'm a little nervous about the AMAs, for a few reasons. I've chosen rather a statement outfit for myself, instead of the usual bland number: a white suit with an all-over black floral print, coupled with a black shirt. It's probably the most outlandish piece I've worn to date, and I can't deny I'm apprehensive about how the media will perceive it, and whether or not I'll be publicly ripped to shreds because of it. The other thing that I'm nervous about is taking Jess to such a public event - I don't want her to feel anything other than completely welcome and at home. Although I have to admit, the suit will hopefully take the limelight enough so that no one recognises Jess.

I hadn't bargained on her own outfit, though. Once her hair and makeup are finished and Lou and Lottie have left to get themselves ready, she slips into her dress and then turns to me to show me the full effect, just as I'm turning to show her my suit.

My eyes widen as I take her in, from the jewels around her neckline to the deep blue fabric clinging to every curve and dip of her body, to the split up her thigh. This makes the fuck-me dress look positively tame.

"Wow," we both say at the same time.

"You look...," she begins, and then falters as she looks me up and down.

"Breathtaking," I murmur, unable to take my eyes off her.

"Incredible," she nods, but she's looking at me. Suddenly I feel unsure about this outfit; I don't want to let her down when she looks so perfect.

"Do you think it's a bit much?" I worry, fiddling with my collar.

"Not at all," she replies with a shake of her head, and she glides across the room to stand next to me in front of the mirror, taking my arm and beaming at our reflections.

"You look damn good on my arm, Jessie Braddy," I observe. "You are way out of my league."

"Don't be ridiculous," she scoffs. "You're amazing."

The words are out of my mouth before I can stop them; not that I want to:

"Walk the red carpet with me tonight. On my arm. As my girlfriend," I clarify.

Her eyes widen further and she stares up at me wordlessly for a moment.

"Harry..."

That's not a no. Fuck, she's actually considering this!

"I'm serious," I say, turning away from the mirror to look into her eyes. "What's stopping us? I love you, you love me. I want everyone to know. I want to show you off, and what better time to do it than at one of the biggest awards shows in the world?"

"Karen would have a fit!" she flusters. 

Fuck Karen.

"I don't know if I'm ready to face her wrath," she continues, and I realise she's slowly talking herself out of it. "It's a huge step, Harry. We haven't talked about this in a while - let's think about it properly when we have time to discuss it."

I let out the breath I hadn't realised I was holding.

"You're right." Of course she is. Karen would literally go ape shit. "Sorry. I was getting carried away." 

"Please don't think I don't want to," she says softly, her eyes pleading as I take her hands in mine and bring her fingers to my lips. "I just want to do it right. I don't want anything to mess it up."

"I know," I breathe, slipping my arms around her and holding her close to me. "I don't know what's come over me lately. I never used to be this reckless. You bring out my impulsive side."

"I'm not going to give up on us, Harry," she whispers, and I hadn't realised until that moment that I needed to hear that. "I promise. We've come too far to throw this away now. You don't have to worry about losing me."

She stands on her tiptoes to kiss me and I pull her body closer to mine, relishing the feel of her through the thin material of her dress and enjoying the unmistakable tingle in my lower region as her lips touch mine.

"Have I told you how amazing you are?" I ask huskily, giving her my best smouldering look.

"Maybe once or twice," she admits, her expression shy and instantly making her even more fuckable. "But feel free to tell me again."

"You're amazing," I murmur. 

Her fingers stroke the nape of my neck and I push my hips forward, nudging her with my growing erection.

"Harry," she scolds, with no conviction.

"Mmm?"

"What's that?" she whispers, pushing her hips back towards mine. My dick tingles again.

"That's for you," I smile. 

I'm just about to suggest we set aside a few minutes for some 'us time' when a car horn beeps loudly outside, making us both jump. I hadn't realised the time.

"We'd better go," I sigh. "I don't think the others will appreciate being kept waiting while I bend you over the back of that chair."

"I'm sure Louis would love to hear about it," she retorts immediately. "I think he secretly gets off on what we get up to."

I laugh out loud at this, at her pure cheek, and the accuracy of what she has just said.

"I think maybe you're right. I'm going to tell him you said that."

"Feel free," she chuckles, grabbing her bag from the bed and heading towards the door. "I'm happy to tell him myself."

I watch as she steps into her car elegantly, giving me a wonderful view of her arse, and then duck into my own car with the rest of the boys.

"Nice suit, Harry," Niall observes. "Only you could pull that off without looking like a massive twat."

"Thanks, I think."

"I mean, you still look like a massive twat," Louis adds. "But not because of the suit."

"Shut it, dickhead," I answer smoothly and he grins amiably at me.

The suit causes a bit of a stir on the red carpet, and we do the usual answering of questions, brief interviews, photographs et cetera. Gigi Hadid gives me a sly bit of attitude when she shakes my hand and then makes a point of giving the other boys hugs and kisses; this is all because she is great friends with my ex, Taylor Swift, and undoubtedly feels she needs to show some kind of female solidarity. I'm not interested in being tabloid fodder for these kind of games though, so I step out of the shot as quickly as I can and am glad to get inside the venue when our time comes. We change backstage into our stage outfits, as we're performing Perfect later, and once we've taken our seats and had a couple of pictures snapped of us as a band, the lights dim and I nudge the lads out the way so I can shuffle along the row and sit next to Jess now that no one can see us. Obviously when we're up for an award nomination I have to move along again so I'm not pictured next to her, but it's easy enough to do and no one seems to mind accommodating us (although it's hard for me when we win stuff because I really want to let Jess congratulate me properly, like I know she is dying to do, especially after we've performed Perfect again). 

I'm looking forward to the afterparty, and for the first hour I enjoy introducing Jess to everyone (sometimes as my girlfriend, depending on how well I know the person, and sometimes not saying anything at all). I can tell she is star-struck by some of them, and just as she is starting to relax Kendall appears from behind us and envelops me in a hug.

"Where have you been?" she demands. "I've been looking all over for you! Don't you ever answer your phone?!"

I reach into my pocket to check my phone - I've barely given it a thought all evening as I've been too engrossed in enjoying myself openly with Jess.

"You must be Jess!" Kendall is beaming, leaning towards her and kissing her warmly on the cheek. "Harry has told me so much about you. I'm Kendall."

"Nice to meet you," Jess smiles shyly, the star-struck look back on her face.

"I love your dress," Kendall is saying to her. "It's stunning! Did you enjoy the show?"

Jess is nothing less than beaming now. "Thanks," she replies. "I loved it! I've never been to anything like this before. It was amazing."

"I thought Perfect was awesome," Kendall continues, looking between us both for a moment and then back ay Jess. "Congratulations on getting a song written about you! The loser never wrote one about me."

She pulls a disgusted face at me and I grin sweetly back. I know she's only pulling my leg, and two can play that game.

"Yes I did," I answer, without missing a beat. "It's called I Want."

Jess gets the joke, but I think it's a bit lost on Kendall.

"I Want," she repeats slowly, frowning. "Are you yanking my chain? What even is that song?" She turns to Jess as though for validation. "Is he joking?" 

Jess starts to laugh and I can't help smirking.

"Go and listen to it and see," I tell Kendall. "It's on our first album."

"You didn't even know me when you made your first album!" she huffs. "You didn't even write stuff then!"

I pretend to be outraged. "Yes I did!" 

"You're such an ass." She rolls her eyes and turns back to Jess. "Good luck, Jess. I don't know how you put up with him. He thinks he's hilarious."

"She keeps me on my toes," I offer, my eyes on Jess's.

"Good," Kendall says to me, bluntly. "That is exactly what you need." And then to Jess, "Don't take any crap, Jess. Make sure he knows who's boss."

"I will," she chuckles, and through the crowd I catch sight of her sister Kylie looking around for someone - most likely Kendall.

"I think Kylie's looking for you," I nudge her.

"Is she kidding?" Kendall demands. "It's not like I'm hard to spot in these heels, towering over everyone like a giraffe. Excuse me for a moment..." 

I can't help laughing as Kendall slips away; everyone thinks she's completely wooden but mostly it's shyness, and when you get to know her she's actually a really warm and funny character.

"She's stunning," Jess remarks, staring after her with an almost envious expression on her face.

I shake my head, but she's still too busy watching Kendall. I slip my arm around her waist and whisper in her ear, "You're more stunning."

Before she can answer, Louis's voice is in my other ear. "Put her down."

"I don't want him to put me down," Jess retorts.

"Looks like it's not just Harold who's whipped," Louis fires back, and Jess has no argument for this. "You banged Selena yet?" he asks Niall, as he is exchanging pleasantries with Jess.

"Fucking one-track mind," Niall berates him, with a disappointed shake of the head.

"With good reason," Louis shrugs indifferently, and Niall gives a sheepish smile of concession.

"We're going for dinner tomorrow night," he confesses, and Louis crows in delight and makes a rapid gesture with two fingers that nobody wants to see.

"Dirty little bastard," Niall chuckles.

Jess changes the subject to Danielle Campbell, and it's Louis' turn to look sheepish and Niall's to make crude hand gestures. Kendall is approaching again, so I turn towards her to hide their vulgar conversation; I don't want it to make her feel uncomfortable. (I don't share the same concern about Jess as I know she is more than capable of handling Louis and Niall.)

"Harry!" Kendall is hissing, urgently. "I've been looking all over for you!"

"Wha - I literally haven't moved from this spot?!" I protest.

"Whatever. I've just been talking to Kylie and she was having a really boring conversation with a couple of people from Victoria's Secret, and that's when I saw her!"

"Saw who?"

"Sara Sampaio!"

I feel as though I've been punched in the stomach. "What?" I ask stupidly, for something to say because Kendall is staring at me expectantly.

"Sara Sampaio is here!" she hisses again. "She's here with Victoria's Secret!"

"I didn't know Victoria's Secret had a contingent here tonight." My mouth has gone dry, and my head feels suddenly fuzzy. Oh God, tonight has been going so well. Jess has been enjoying herself so much, I can't bear the thought of her evening being ruined by the sight of Sara.

"Me neither, but you know what this means, don't you?"

"That I have to ruin Jess's evening one way or another?" No pun intended, I swear; now is not the time.

"Well I mean, yeah, but worse than that." Kendall can be so dramatic sometimes. "Nadine Leopold is almost certain to be with them."

My heart comes to a complete stop for what feels like several seconds. "Fuck."

"You have to tell Jess," she is saying. "You can't risk Nadine catching her off guard. It isn't fair, Harry."

"Why would she be here too?" I croak, and Kendall gives me a look of pity mingled with incredulity. 

"They've been working on the same project, and loads of others people from said project are over there with Sara."

She watches my face as I lick my lips nervously and cast a glance towards Jess.

"I just thought I'd better warn you," Kendall finishes with a shrug as Jess looks over enquiringly.

"What's going on?"

My heart is pounding. I feel sick at the thought of the two women who almost ruined my life (one accidentally and one on purpose) being under the same roof as the one woman who was entirely innocent in it all, but ended up having her heart broken. She doesn't need this right now. Our relationship doesn't need this right now.

"You can't protect her if you don't tell her," Kendall insists, filling the awkward silence as I avoid Jess's gaze.

"Tell me what?" Jess asks with trepidation.

Oh God, she's probably wondering what the fuck I've done this time to mess things up.

I shuffle over to her, keeping my voice low.

"Kendall's just seen Sara Sampaio," I tell her, my stomach churning as I say Sara's name out loud to Jess. "She's here tonight with some people from Victoria's Secret. Which means that it's also likely that... that Nadine is here too."