(No Control - 36. Tell Me A Lie)

The show is a good one, considering it's our first one without Zayn and we're feeling a bit emotional. There are loads of banners asking what's going on, and if we're all OK. We've been told by management not to comment on it, but I catch Liam reading one of them asking how we are, and I see him give a soft smile and mouth 'We're ok,' and the fans in that section go crazy.

I get a flush of goosebumps when we begin Little White Lies again, and I fling water over the crowd and gyrate like a loser. I refuse to look at Louis because I know exactly what his face will be like.

We wave goodbye and head backstage after Best Song Ever, and I flop down on the sofa, pull my phone out and switch it on. I'm going to text Jess, right now.

A text comes through from her that she must have sent in reply to my last one, that just says, I'll check my diary. Good luck x

She's trying to make me sweat, isn't she. Too bad it didn't work.

I suddenly feel mischievous, and instead of texting her I hit the Call button, and my phone searches for signal and tries to connect.

"Who are you ringing?" Niall asks.

"Jess," I reply, and Louis snaps his head up, grinning.

What the actual fuck am I doing? I haven't prepared myself for this at all. It's ringing. Fuck.

What if she doesn't answer?

What if she answers?

My heart's pounding.

"Hello?" she answers, and my stomach flutters.

"Hey," I reply. Out of the corner of my eye I can see Louis thrusting his hips at me. I turn my body so I can't see him.

"Who's this?" she asks.

What the fuck - did she delete my number or something?

"It's Harry," I say, uncertainly.

"Harry who?"

She's fucking playing with me, isn't she. I can't believe she's got the upper hand already.

"Harry Styles," I reply, unable to hide my smirk at her little game, and I hear Louis laugh, "Harry just got slaaaaayed!"

"From....?" Jess is asking. She's enjoying this, I can tell.

"From One Direction," I tell her, grinning now.

Niall and Louis and are literally bent double laughing hysterically at this conversation. I'm not going to be able to live this one down for a while. I swat my hand towards them to try and get them to shut up.

"Sorry, I think you have the wrong number," she says breezily.

I turn away from the boys further and lower my voice so they don't hear me.

"Is this not Jess with the beautiful eyes and the soft lips?" I ask, and I am glad to hear a slight hesitation before she replies (in a much less confident tone),

"Yeah ok, it's me."

Ha. I've rattled her.

"Don't start what you can't finish," I remind her cockily, getting up and walking into the corridor away from the others.

"Yeah, yeah," she mumbles.

The door shuts behind me and silence descends.

"Are you still pissed off with me?" I ask, sticking to my resolve to be up front from now on.

"I never was pissed off with you," she replies. "Why would I be?"

She's lying. I know she is.

"Because of the girl you mentioned before," I say.

"I told you, it's none of my business. We're both free agents. Were you pissed off when you thought I'd slept with Gary?"

Fuck yes.

"Yes," I tell her, and there is a stunned silence on the other end of the phone. "Was the other guy really your brother?" I ask, and there is a pause before she answers.

"Have you been looking on Twitter?"

"I may have seen some pictures," I admit, and she sighs.

"I went out with my brother last Saturday for lunch," she explains, and I feel a wave of relief. "It's him in the photographs. Someone obviously followed us, took pictures, jumped to conclusions and wrote a bunch of lies about us."

Welcome to my world.

"Why didn't you post that picture of the two of you earlier?" I ask, thinking back to her tweet of them standing in front of a Christmas tree. If only she'd posted that sooner.

"It only occurred to me on Friday when I'd had a few drinks," she replies. "Why does it matter anyway?"

She still sounds a bit off.

"I thought he was your boyfriend or something," I confess, feeling stupid and shy all of a sudden.

"Gross," she says.

I feel like I need to explain myself.

"Yeah well I thought maybe you were trying to give me the brush off before we left because you were already seeing someone. So when the opportunity came up with a girl, I just went with it."

I realise I did not come across at all well with that last statement.

"What are you saying?" she demands. "That you wouldn't have slept with her if you hadn't seen the pictures of me and Calvin?"

I wish I could answer honestly no, but the truth is I don't know what I would have done. Annabelle was hot, there's no denying that. I'm not going to lie to Jess and say I definitely wouldn't have. All I know is, when I thought I had no chance with Jess there was nothing stopping me hooking up with someone else.

"I don't know," I say out loud. "But I did see them, so there was nothing to stop me. Maybe I still would have anyway. I guess we'll never know."

"Why would it have stopped you?" she asks, and my heart begins to thud as I realise I am going to have to tell her I like her.

It's different saying it on the phone to saying it over text. I need to sound confident and breezy when I say this or else I'm just going to seem pathetic.

"I told you. I like you," I say, with my eyes closed and my palms sweating. "When I saw your tweet about him being your brother it made me hope you'd posted that so I would see it..." (I'm being such a loser, I fucking know, alright?) "...and that made me think you might still be interested."

"It was more to stop the hate I was still getting," she says, ignoring my pitiful declaration of feelings. "All your fans were hassling me, and then there was uproar when you were pictured with your blonde girl. I didn't want to confirm or deny the rumours about us, so putting up that picture of me and Calvin seemed to be the best way to shut them up."

I mentally process this. There is so much to think about in just those few words.

She's been getting hate: I sort of knew people had been tweeting shit about us but it honestly never crossed my mind how she might be feeling about it. I feel bad that I haven't even given her a thought in that respect.

The uproar over Annabelle: I was too concerned about what Jess would think about the story to wonder how the fans might be reacting towards her. It didn't even enter my head, again.

Jess didn't want to confirm or deny the rumours: I'm honestly astounded that she's thinking like this - I can't quite believe that she actually understands the implications of responding to shite on social media, and that she gets the importance of keeping quiet. And I'm touched that she's put my feelings first in all of this. It's one thing understanding it all, but an entirely different thing playing by the rules to protect my privacy.

Yet somehow, she's managed to dispel the rumours about her own life, without involving me. The tweet was a clever move.

I suddenly think what an amazing person she is, and maybe - just maybe - I've struck gold with this girl. The thought makes my fingertips tingle. Just my fingertips, before you jump to conclusions.

I've been silent for a few seconds while these thoughts rush around my head.

I can't help wondering how she ended up locking lips with the blonde dude from her office though.

"So how did you end up kissing your friend?" I ask awkwardly.

"You're not beating around the bush are you?" she remarks, a little uncomfortably, and I feel like a twat for being so blunt.

"Sorry," I apologise.

"No it's fine," she says. "He broke up with his girlfriend yesterday so we all went out after work to cheer him up, and we both got really drunk and he kissed me and I didn't stop him straight away. That's all there is to it."

Really? That's it? She doesn't harbour a secret longing for this guy? Why did she let him kiss her?

"Do you like him?" I ask. No chill.

"Not like that. He's a lovely guy but there's no attraction there."

She sounds genuine, but I'm insecure. And it looked like they were about to strip each other's clothes off on the pavement.

"Looked pretty hot from the pictures," I press.

"Maybe it was for about a second," she admits, and I hate him. "But I don't think either of us were really feeling it."

I'm going to have to accept this. I can't push her any further. I don't have the right. There's still a question that remains unanswered though. My heart is pounding again.

"So you're single then?" I ask, trying to sound cool and failing miserably.

"Yes, I'm single," she says shyly, and my face breaks into a smile.

"That's good to know," I say, happily.

Behind me the door opens and Louis, Niall and Liam walk out with Dale, Mike and another guy called Ted.

"Come on, H," Mike says, but I wave them away. "You following on?" he asks and I nod.

"Anyway, how was the show?" Jess is saying.

"Weird," I reply, going back into the room the others have just left. "It was sad without Zayn there."

I sit down on the sofa and pick at a loose thread on the corner of the cushion.

"Are you ok?" she asks softly, and my stomach flutters at the concern in her voice.

"Yeah, I'm alright," I tell her. "The fans were great and we picked up his solos ok, considering it was last minute."

"When's he back?"

"End of the month. He's joining us in South Africa."

This is the most we've talked about One Direction, I realise suddenly.

"So what are you doing tonight?" she asks.

"Probably just heading back to the hotel and crashing," I reply. "None of us really feel like doing anything else to be honest."

"Where are you now?" She sounds surprised.

"Backstage. I called you as soon as we'd finished."

"Oh I thought you'd be back at the hotel already," she muses.

"The others have just gone," I explain. "But I've been thinking about you all evening. I couldn't wait to speak to you."

No fucking chill.

"So you haven't even had a shower yet?" She's laughing.

"No, I'm all sweaty," I laugh too.

"Sounds quite sexy," she says quietly, and my stomach gives a sharp pinch.

"Mmmm, you reckon?" I respond, adopting her tone. I'm going for the kill. "So am I going to see you again?"

"I don't know, are you?"

I should be used to her flipping everything on it's head by now, but somehow I'm always shocked that she never gives anything away.

"I'd like to," I tell her.

"Maybe you will then," she says casually. "Let's see where we are in a few weeks."

That's not a no. But she's still playing this so cool.

"Ok," I say. "Can I text you in the meantime?"

That's the next best thing if she won't commit to another date yet.

"I suppose so," she says, but I can tell she's smiling.

"Maybe I will then," I say coyly, and I'm fucking grinning like a buffoon.

"I can hear you smiling," she says suddenly, and my stomach does a somersault.

"You make me smile," I tell her.

"I won't tell you what you do to me," she says, so quietly I can hardly hear her.

Woah, WHAT? Is this an admission, finally, that she's into me?!

"Why not?" I ask huskily.

"You know I like to keep you guessing," she says, and the confidence is back in her voice.

I'm going to have to work hard to get her to drop her guard around me. I realise that now.

"You definitely do that," I nod. "It drives me crazy."

"Harry, come on!" Dale says, poking his head into the room and making me jump. "We've got a car waiting for you."

I nod at him.

"I have to go," I say to Jess. "They're saying I need to get back to the hotel."

"Ok," she says. "Enjoy your evening."

"Not much left of it really. What are you doing?"

I realise most of this conversation has been about me so far.

"I went for a run before so I'm pretty tired," she tells me. "I reckon I'll just slouch in front of the tv tonight."

Somehow the thought of her in running gear is a massive turn on.

"Hmm, so you're all sweaty too?" I wonder, and she giggles.

"No, I had a shower."

Jess sweaty, or Jess in the shower? Fuck, this is making me hard.

"I don't know which is better, imagining you sweaty or imagining you in the shower," I say boldly.

"Both?" she responds cheekily. "Imagine working up a sweat with me, then joining me in the shower."

FUCK. ME. Now I really am hard.

"What are you trying to do to me?" I moan.

"Don't start what you can't finish," she reminds me, just as Dale appears at the door again and taps his watch impatiently.

"Touché," I concede. I nod at Dale. "I really have to go," I say regretfully.

"Ok," she says. I'm pretty sure she's still smiling.

"I'll text you," I promise.

"I might reply," she answers, cool as fuck, and I laugh softly.

"Bye Jess."

She says goodbye and I stand up and follow Dale out of the room, down the corridor and out of the back door to the waiting car. The smile doesn't leave my face until I fall asleep in bed an hour later.

.....

I hang out with Lou the next morning and fill her in on the latest stuff with Jess. She squeals uncontrollably all the way through, and throws her arms around me when I reach the end of the story. Louis watches all this with amusement, but his smugness is shortlived when he gets a phonecall from someone at Modest telling him the Daily Mail are running the story about his conquest in Bangkok.

I can tell he isn't really that bothered for himself; he just doesn't want El to have to deal with the intrusion and the speculation. He may be a sassy little twat when he wants to be, but he is fiercely protective over his friends and family. Modest are releasing a statement explaining they split up a couple of weeks ago, but we all know the world will just assume it's a cover up, and that Louis is a cheat. We're damned if we do and we're damned if we don't, sometimes.

The second night in Manila is easier than the first, and runs fairly smoothly. After we finish Louis calls Zayn to see how he's getting on, but he doesn't answer. We head back to the hotel and crash.

We all hang out by the hotel pool on Monday - Lou included. She's on a sun lounger next to me reading some trashy girly novel, chuckling every now and again as she turns her page. It's after lunch when my phone lights up with a call from Karen.

I'm momentarily thrown. It must be about 7am back home. Why is she calling me so early?

My heart sinks, as I just know that the shit will have hit the fan in some form or another. I answer the call with trepidation.

"Hello?"

"Hi, Harry, love," Karen says, and immediately I know it's really fucking bad. Karen only does nice when your life is about to fall apart. Or when she's trying to manipulate you to get her own way. I'm praying this is one of those times.

"What's up?" I ask, trying to sound like I'm not gripping the edge of the sunlounger with my fingers.

"I'm really, really sorry, but that story... about the girl in Tokyo... we can't stop it. It's going to print today."

My stomach drops. I can't speak. I swallow nervously and lick my lips which are suddenly dry as a bone.

"It's a full-on kiss and tell," she continues. "She hasn't left any details out. I've done everything in my power to stop this one, Harry, but there's nothing I can do. She's sold her story and been paid well for it, I imagine. You might want to warn your family."

I feel sick.

"Harry?" Karen asks. "Are you there?"

"Why can't you stop it?" I ask hoarsely.

"I've taken it through the courts," she explains. "I tried to obtain an injunction, but it was refused on the grounds of freedom of speech. I appealed it, but it was thrown out. I'm so sorry. There's nothing more I can do."

"Fuck!" I spit, and Lou sits up and looks at me in concern. "What can she possibly be getting out of this? Other than the money and the five seconds of fame?"

"That's all some people want," Karen says, and I know all this really. I'm just reeling.

My hands are shaking. I want to vomit.

"Are you alright?" she asks.

"No," I say shortly. "I know this is my own fault, but I'm just so... embarrassed."

"I know. I don't need to remind you to keep quiet. Stay off Twitter, don't read any of the shit they print and it will all blow over soon enough."

"K," I mumble.

When she rings off I grab my tshirt and pull it on, and begin walking inside. Dale is hot on my heels, as are Lou and Louis.

"Harry!" Lou calls, trotting to keep up with me. "Harry - what's the matter?!"

We walk into the lobby and head towards the lift, and I don't answer until we are safely inside my suite.

"That fucking kiss and tell story from that girl in Tokyo!" I splutter. "They're publishing it today."

"Ah, no way," Louis says. "Is it a bad one?"

"Apparently it doesn't leave anything to the imagination," I say, looking to the ceiling and feeling the blush rise in my cheeks as I think back to that night just before we flew home for our week's break.

"You're not into kinky shit, are you?" Louis says, raising an eyebrow.

"Don't be stupid," I scoff. "It's nothing like that. It's just... embarrassing. It's like reading those bloody fanfictions about yourself. They make me cringe. And now the whole world is going to read it.... but it's not a made up story, it's the fucking truth. Fuck."

"Have you warned Jess?" Louis asks.

"Fuck!" I shout again, furiously, as I suddenly realise she is going to think the worst of me, again. Just when I think this might actually be going somewhere. "Fuck. She's never going to trust me after this, is she?" I sit down on the bed and run my fingers through my hair. My hands are shaking, and Louis is staring at me with an unreadable expression on his face.

"Call her," he says, and Lou nods in agreement.

"What the fuck am I supposed to say?" I ask miserably.

"The truth," Lou puts in. "Be honest with her. Get in there first, before she has time to read the article."

"Do it," Louis urges.

"I need to let my mum know first," I mutter.

It's times like these that I secretly crave anonymity. I've almost forgotten what it's like to be able to walk down the street without being mobbed, or go out for dinner without cameras flashing in my face. Or be able to spend the night with someone without it becoming public knowledge.

I know it's my own fault for doing stuff like this, but honestly, how would this girl feel if some random guy went to the newspapers and told them all about her sex life? She'd be humiliated, just like I am right now. I just don't understand it. I'm gutted.

The conversation with my mum is painfully embarrassing. I beg her not to read the story and of course she agrees, but I am so upset that her friends will probably read it, and it will embarrass her to know they have. My uncles and aunties will see it; my cousins, my old teachers, my school friends, Barbara from the bakery where I used to work... People don't realise the impact these things have on someone's life.

Louis and Lou leave the room while I'm on the phone, and once I've finished talking to my mum I sit around for about ten minutes, working up the courage to call Jess. I don't even know what I'm going to say as I scroll to her name and press call.

It rings several times, before going to her voicemail. I look at my watch and realise it's just after 9am at home. She'll be at work.

I don't care. I need to talk to her.

I call again, and this time I think she diverts the call because it goes to her voicemail after fewer rings. I try again, and it does the same thing. Fuck. I don't know what to do next. I don't want to tell her this over text.

My phone beeps with a message.

I can't answer, I'm at work! x

I really need to talk to you, can you spare a minute? It's important x, I reply.

I really can't, I'll get in trouble! Can't it wait? x

No, it really can't.

Not really, I type back. Some stuff is about to blow up, I need you to know the full story x

Cryptic! I'll call you on my lunch x

She's not getting it.

Promise you will, no matter what. Even if you don't want to x, I'm practically begging. I know once she sees that story she will probably never speak to me again.

You're freaking me out! Yes, I promise x

xxx, I send her, because I have lost all semblance of cool now.

Louis convinces me to come back outside to the pool area, and I watch the minutes drag by until the sun begins to drop in the sky and we head inside. I'm twitchy, waiting for her call, and Lou is refreshing the Daily Mail app every few minutes waiting for the story to break. It goes online just after 5pm here, and Twitter explodes about a minute later. I watch the clock until 6.30, my phone glued to my hand, and then give up and go for a shower to pass the next half hour. I finally break at 6.55 and call Jess again, but it rings through to voicemail.

Louis and Liam come to my room and watch tv on my sofa while I fiddle with my phone nervously. Louis is watching me with interest and it's making me worse. I wait another ten minutes and try Jess again. Finally she answers.

"Hello?" she snaps.

Fuck. She's read the story.

"Hi," I say softly. "Can you talk?"

"What about? The latest slut?"

Oh shit, she's really mad.

"You've seen the article then?" I say, stupidly.

"Yes, I've read it, and it's fine. I already told you, we're both free and single so you can do what you want." She's not exactly yelling, but her voice is raised. She has jumped to the wrong conclusion, as I knew she would. I can't blame her.

"No, Jess, this is why I needed to talk to you about this," I tell her. "This story is from a few weeks ago. Management have been trying to keep it quiet but she went to the press and they couldn't stop it. I don't want you to think this is something recent."

"Whatever, Harry," she says with a sigh. "It's nothing to do with me anyway."

No no no no. This is exactly what I was afraid of.

"Please don't say that," I say.

"Seriously, it's none of my business. It's not like I ever thought this was real or anything."

She's being abrupt, and my heart is pounding.

"Jess, please, I promise you this happened in Tokyo before I came home," I try to explain. "I meant everything I said the other day. I don't want you to think I'm sleeping around over here and lying to you. I'm not like that."

"Tell it to someone who cares," she says flatly.

"You have to believe me," I plead. "I really really like you. I don't want to mess this up... hello?" I pull the phone away from my ear. "She hung up on me!" I exclaim, and Liam gives me a sympathetic look while Louis tries to disguise a smirk.

"Call her back," Louis sighs wearily, looking back at the TV.

I try her again, but it goes straight to voicemail without even ringing.

"She's switched her phone off!" I splutter, and Louis chuckles.

"I like this girl," he grins. "She doesn't put up with any shit. Tell her to give me a call... kidding!" he adds hastily when I glower at him. I haven't forgotten Jess's jokes about being a Louis girl. I'm still not convinced she was joking.

I can't believe you hung up on me, I text her. I'm too pissed off that she wouldn't even hear me out to put a kiss on the end.

I call her a few more times, but it just keeps diverting to voicemail without ringing.

"Now what?" I ask Louis and Liam.

"Keep trying her, mate," Liam advises. "She'll calm down eventually."

"Speaks the voice of experience," Louis adds, inclining his head towards Liam. "Forever in the doghouse, aren't you Payno?"

I ignore their banter for the next half hour, and stare blankly at the TV screen. I keep trying Jess, but her phone remains off.

Please don't leave it like this. Switch your phone back on x, I text her after a while, but I can see she hasn't read either message yet.

"Fuck - Harry, look at this," Louis says suddenly. He turns his phone towards me and I see he is looking at a short article on the Daily Mail Showbiz, with the headline, "HARRY STYLES' GIRLFRIEND COMFORTED BY PAL IN WAKE OF KISS & TELL RUMOURS."

What the fuck - is that Jess?

I grab my phone and find the article. It fucking is Jess - sitting in a cafe looking cosy with the blonde guy who had been pawing her the other night in the pictures. Gary, or whatever his name is. I look at the photos, and along with the ones presumably from today are the ones from Friday night of them kissing.

Is she doing this on purpose to get revenge? I'm fuming. More with myself, because this guy is clearly waiting in the wings to swoop in, and I have just given her a massive push in his direction.

My hands are trembling as I take a screengrab of the article about her, type Seriously??? and send it to her... just as I realise her phone is back on and she's read my other messages.

Oh, fuck, what did I do that for? She's going to be really mad now, I just know it.

I stare at the screen for a minute, and as I'm looking a picture message comes back from her. I peer at it, and realise she's sent me a screengrab of my kiss and tell article, with the caption SERIOUSLY?????????

Fuck, she's furious. And she has every right to be. I'm a dick.

"Call her," Louis sighs again, and I obey.

To my surprise, she answers.

"I can't talk, I'm due back at work," she snaps, furiously.

"I'm sorry," I say, as sincerely as I can.

"What for?"

"For making you unhappy," I sigh. "But please believe me when I say this is old news. I promise it happened in Tokyo."

"Why are you so bothered about what I think?" she asks scornfully. "And what does it matter that I went for lunch with Gary? What the hell are you doing, sending me screen shots like that?"

"I'm sorry." It's all I can think of to say. "I felt like I'd pushed you towards him and I was pissed off because you wouldn't let me explain."

"Whatever," she mutters, but I'm sure I detect a tiny wobble in her voice.

"Do you believe me about the article?" I ask.

"I don't know," she says, and the wobble that was in her voice before is even more audible. "Why is it so important to you that I do?"

Argh. Here we go again.

"I keep telling you. I like you," I mumble, with my eyes closed. I open them to see Louis grinning gleefully at Liam and nudging him in the ribs while Liam smiles at the TV.

"Don't get my hopes up, Harry," she whispers. "It's not fair."

My heart skips a beat as I understand what she's saying. She thinks I'm stringing her along, toying with her emotions. Which means she must like me for me to have the power to do that, albeit unknowingly.

"I can't control what the media says about me," I plead. "All I can do is be honest with you. And I have been, all along."

It's the truth. I have. I've never lied to her. I'm honestly not like that.

"Is there anything else you want to warn me about?" she asks.

An image of Taylor Swift flashes through my mind. No one knows about our previous arrangements, apart from a very select few, but as that is all done and dusted as far as I'm concerned, I'm not about to bring it up. What's the point? We've all got a past. She wasn't a virgin when she met me.

"No," I tell her. "I kissed a fan in Perth but it didn't go any further than a kiss, and I only did it because I was feeling shit after Nadine dumped me." I wrinkle my nose at this thought. "I slept with that girl in Tokyo, then I came home and met you. Then I hooked up with the girl in the Philippines after I thought you weren't interested. I was seeing Nadine from November to February so if anything else comes out it's from before I was with her."

I mentally recap all this, to make sure I haven't missed anything. I haven't.

There is silence on the other end of the phone.

"Are you still there?" I ask, pulling my phone away from my ear to check the call is still connected. It is.

"No, I hung up," she says dryly, and I chuckle, glad of the attempt at humour.

Should I tell her again that I like her? I don't want to sound like a loser, but I also don't want to lose her. Ha, see what I did there?

I decide to go with it.

"You've got me interested, Jess," I say softly. "I don't know how else to convince you. I meant what I said the other day."

"I have to go, my lunch break is over," she says with a sigh.

"Call me when you get home?" I ask.

"I dunno," she mutters. "Maybe. I have to go."

"OK," I say, unsure whether this is just an excuse to get me off the phone. "Sorry again, Jess."

"Bye," she says.

"Bye," I reply, but the disconnect tone sounds before the word is fully out of my mouth.

"She really mad?" Liam asks.

"Yup," I sigh. "I've fucked it up."

"Is she going to call you tonight?" Louis pipes up.

"She didn't sound sure," I say flatly, and I flop onto the sofa opposite Liam and Louis and close my eyes.

They leave my room around 1am, and I mess about on the Playstation for another couple of hours, keeping my eye on the time in the UK. I'm praying she'll call.

I give in and call her around 3am, but she doesn't answer, so instead I text, just saying, Hey, I'm still up if you want to call me back x

I send it just in case she thinks it's too late to call.

By 4am my eyes are literally closing by themselves, and I try one last time to call her but she either ignores me or misses it, so I send her one final text, saying I guess you're not calling back then. I'm going to bed, I'll text you tomorrow x

I know this isn't playing it cool, but I also know I have a lot of ground to make up. I completely understand why she's pissed off, and I want to win her trust.

I can't stop thinking about her, and the more I think about her the more I believe there is something special about this girl. Even more so because she told me where to go when she thought I was a player. That's the kind of girl I want in my life - one who treats me like a normal guy, instead of like Harry Styles from One Direction.

I am not giving up on her without a fight.