(No Control - 19. Does He Know)

Disappointingly, it's neither Nadine nor Jess. It's from my ex, Taylor Swift. Hey sexy, how are things? When are you next in LA? I bet I can take your mind off your ex ;) xx

I really don't need this. Usually I'd be keen to rekindle our little arrangement, but I feel like I've got enough going on in my life right now without this added to the mix. I told her last week I'm not going to be in the US for a while.

Not until April at the earliest x, I reply quickly, and she doesn't respond.

I hope I haven't pissed her off. I'm just not up for arranging a hook up that might never happen. A lot can change between now and then.

Mum and I sit talking for about an hour before I feel tiredness creeping over me and she sends me upstairs for a nap. I take my bag of clean clothes upstairs and leave the bag of washing at the bottom of the stairs. I take a pair of soft grey joggers out, remove my jeans and pull the joggers on. I lay down on the bed and pull my phone out. I've obviously got full signal as Taylor has just texted me. So either Jess hasn't seen my number or she has decided not to text me.

I go on Twitter and into my Following. Jess is at the top of my list, being the last person I followed. I quickly add her to my Friends list, and then decide to have a proper look at her profile. There are only 27 tweets, so it won't take long. I scroll down them seeing mostly my own tweets that she has retweeted, along with a few of Louis's too, one of Liam's and one of Niall's. No Zayn, though. Hmmm.

Wait a minute, what have we here? A tweet to me? On the 2nd February, the day after my birthday,

@jessie_braddy: @Harry_Styles Happy belated birthday! We got you a cake to celebrate xx

I tap on the picture and laugh out loud. It's a picture of Jess and another blonde girl, holding up a birthday cake with candles on it. There's a One Direction calendar in the background, and I can just make out a mug on a desk behind them with my face on.

Jeez, she wasn't kidding when she said she was a fan, was she?! I wonder what else she's tweeted to me.

@jessie_braddy: @Harry_Styles if you're gonna post a selfie don't cut your face off, we need to see it. It's beautiful x

I chuckle out loud and carry on scrolling. Wait - there's another one!

@jessie_braddy: @Harry_Styles stop posting pictures of yourself on instagram with cute puppies, you are killing me <3 xxx

That one was over a year ago - she really doesn't tweet much, does she?

I search for her username to see what people are tweeting to her. As I suspected, everyone is going crazy, asking how she got a Harry follow, does she know me, please can she retweet their request for me to follow them... but so far she hasn't responded to any of her - (I quickly go and check) - 22037 followers.

I stare at her profile for a minute and then open up a DM to her. My palms begin to sweat as I try and think of something to say to her. After about ten seconds I decide this is a bad idea.

I should not be thinking about getting involved with a fan. I need to stop this stupidity right now. I am purely on the rebound from Nadine anyway. I need to sort my head out before I start messing around with someone else.

I exit Twitter and switch my phone onto silent. I leave it on the pillow next to me and close my eyes.

-----

The sun is streaming in through my window when I wake up. I sit up quickly and look at the clock. 7.38am! Bloody hell, I've slept all night. I must have needed it.

My head is pounding as I haul myself off the bed and down the stairs into the kitchen.

"Morning love," Mum greets me. She's sitting at the table in her dressing gown with a cup of tea and a plate covered with toast crumbs next to her. "You went out like a light yesterday."

"Yeah, sorry, I guess I was shattered," I mumble.

"I thought you were," she smiles as she gets up and pours me a cup of tea out of the teapot, and I walk over to the table and sit down.

"How are you feeling this morning?" she asks gently.

"Alright," I nod. "Better for a good sleep."

"Mike and Dee are wondering if we want to go for a meal with them one evening while you're home."

Mum is referring to my Uncle Mike - her brother - and his wife. I haven't seen them for a while, so it would be good to catch up, and I tell her this.

"Great, I'll let them know," Mum says, picking up her phone. "Any particular evening?"

I shake my head. I have no plans, other than taking Mum out for a meal.

"Can we go out for dinner tonight? Just me and you?" I ask her, and she looks up at me and beams.

"That would be lovely," she says, and I'm happy she looks so pleased.

I finish my tea and head upstairs for a shower. When I come back down I'm feeling more alert, and I flick the kettle on again and lean against the counter with my arms folded.

"Your work phone was ringing while you were in the bathroom," Mum says, sliding it over to me. "It was Karen. I didn't answer but she called several times so I'd call her back if I were you."

Uh oh. Karen is one of the top dogs at Modest, my management company. If she is persistently calling me before 9am on a Sunday, something must be up. My heart sinks as I remember the photographer outside my house yesterday morning. Fuck.

I call her back and feel a flutter of nerves in my stomach as it rings.

"Harry?" she answers.

"Hi Karen," I say cheerily. "Just returning your call."

"Can you tell me why there's an article on Sugarscape about you and a blonde girl leaving your house yesterday morning?"

Oh fuck.

"Errr... what?" I stalled.

"Apparently you partied with her in Primrose Hill, and at Lagoon nightclub?"

Oh my God. Jess went to the fucking media?

My heart drops, along with my mouth. I did not see this coming at all. She seemed so fucking genuine. How could she? I can't believe it.

I mean, I actually can't believe it. She wouldn't. Would she?

"Is it true?" Karen asks me.

"Wh... errr.. yeah - I dunno - what has she said?" I'm reeling.

"She hasn't said anything. The paps got pictures of you leaving your house and the rest of it has come from an undisclosed source, but not her. What the hell do you think you're playing at, Harry? You took a girl back to your house with no security?"

"Wait - she hasn't blabbed then?"

"What?"

"Jess - she hasn't blabbed? This hasn't come from her?"

"No - is that all you can say? I'm disappointed in you, Harry. I thought you of all people had your head screwed on. I thought you would have learnt after the incident in Tokyo. We're still worried that's going to blow up. How could you be so bloody stupid?"

Karen's tone is clipped, but I'm not paying attention.

Jess didn't blab.

She didn't blab.

I'm so relieved.

"Harry are you still there?" Karen sounds really pissed off now.

"Yeah. Yeah, I'm here. Sorry. I'm just trying to process all this." I rub my hand over my face and look up to see Mum watching me with a worried look on her face.

Oh fuck, I'm going to have to tell her what I did. Is nothing sacred?

"You need to tell me how much potential damage we're talking here. What happened?" Karen's gone into business mode now.

"We met at a house party in Primrose Hill. I took her to Lagoon, and then she came back to mine and stayed the night."

"Did you use a condom?"

"Yes - of course!"

"Well that's something. Your own supply, or one of hers?"

"My own," I tell her.

I know why she's asking this. If it's mine there's less chance of it being sabotaged. Never trust someone else's condom. It's one of the first things they told us when One Direction was formed.

"Good. Now why the hell did you follow her on Twitter?"

"What...?" I gape. "How do you know about that?!"

"Because your detective fans have already put two and two together. What on earth made you do that?"

"I was drunk," I mumble. "She only had three followers."

"So you thought you'd give her a few more, along with a good time?"

"I don't know," I say, raising my eyes to the ceiling. "She isn't going to make any trouble, I promise."

"Don't be so naive, Harry," Karen snaps. "As soon as the first paycheck is waved under her nose she'll be spilling every gory detail."

"No she won't!" I snap back. "You don't know her so don't you dare jump to conclusions."

There is a stunned silence on the other end of the phone. I have never ever spoken to Karen like that in my life. I glance at Mum and her expression is one of mild surprise.

"I think you'd better tell me the full story," Karen finally says.

"There's nothing to tell," I sigh. "It was a one night stand. I dropped her off home the following morning. She's a nice girl, she won't make any trouble."

Karen goes on at me for another ten minutes, trying to extract details, but I fob her off and play the whole thing down. I don't tell her I put my number in Jess's phone; I don't have a death wish.

When I finally hang up my face is burning - from Karen's reprimand, and from the conversation I'm about to have with my mother. I place my phone on the worktop and flick the kettle on - the water will have cooled down while Karen was bollocking me. I busy myself with making us a cup of tea and Mum says nothing until I set her cup down in front of her on the kitchen table.

"So, what was all that about?" she asks.

"I sort of did something I shouldn't have the other night," I mumble.

Hold on - why did I say that? Why shouldn't I have done it? I mean, I know why I shouldn't, but why shouldn't I? Every other guy my age does.

"I gathered that. Were you careful?"

Oh God. This is embarrassing. "Yes," I mutter, not looking up.

"But Karen isn't happy?"

"I had no security, and I took her back to my place. We got pictured leaving yesterday morning and there's an article about it online, which will now be all over Twitter. Sorry," I mumble, looking at my feet. I can feel my cheeks burning. My mum knows I had sex on Friday night. For fuck's sake.

"You don't need to apologise," Mum says. "But I get the feeling there is more to this than you're telling me?"

I'm quiet for a moment. Hadn't I been wishing I could ask Mum's advice on this?

"I put my number in her phone."

Mum looks at me.

"I didn't tell her I put it there."

She blinks. "Okay," she says. "Am I being completely out of touch if I ask why not?"

I smile wryly. "No, you're not out of touch. But I am a loser."

"Oh sweetheart, you're anything but a loser."

I'm silently thankful that Gemma isn't here to listen to this. I sound like a mummy's boy.

"I am. I don't know why I didn't just ask her for hers. I put mine in her phone like some weird stalker, and now I wish I hadn't."

"Don't you want her to call you?"

"No, I do, I think. I don't know. She's a fan. Like, a really big fan. Of One Direction. At least, she said she was, but then she didn't seem that bothered by me, you know? And you know I'm not supposed to get involved with fans. And I felt so miserable about Nadine, but now I don't know how I feel about her. Or any of it." I lift my arms up and let them flop to my sides again with a sigh.

"So Karen is worried this girl -"

"Jess," I put in.

"Jess - will go to the press about that night?"

"Yes, but I don't think she will. She didn't seem the sort. She wasn't hanging all over me like the fame-hungry ones do. She was just cool with me. She was funny and sassy and she didn't...." I trail off, not quite knowing how to word this. It's a strange conversation to be having with my mum. "She wasn't easy. I wasn't sure if she was even interested in me most of the night. She just kept me guessing."

"She kept you on your toes," Mum smiles.

"Yes! Exactly," I say.

I knew it would be a good idea speaking to my mum about this. I knew she would understand.

"Well, there's no hurry to do anything, is there?" Mum reasons. "Why don't you give yourself time to work out how you feel? Don't go rushing into anything. It sounds like you plunged in with both feet with Nadine, and now you're floundering because it didn't work out. Just give yourself some breathing space."

She's right. Of course she's right. I need to figure out my feelings towards Nadine before I start thinking about getting involved with Jess - fan or not. That's if she even wants to get involved with me.

Would she, if I asked her?

No - focus! I need to be single. End of story.

"OK," I sigh heavily.

My phone beeps with a text. It's Niall.

Hey, who's the blonde fitty? Did you get your end away?

I can't help but grin at his vulgarity.

Yes, and Karen is PISSED OFF! I type back.

Rule number one: NEVER GET CAUGHT!!! Can't believe that's twice in one month for you comes the reply.

Can't let you have all the fun! I tell him, and I get a winky face back in return.

Everyone thinks Niall is this blue eyed, innocent little angel. He's a dirty bastard behind closed doors.

I sigh and put my phone away. I love my life, don't get me wrong. But sometimes I wish I could be allowed to just fart without it becoming public knowledge.

~~~~~~~~

I book Mum's favourite restaurant in Knutsford for 8pm, and I head upstairs at 6.45 to have a shower. I take my time standing under the jets and try to avoid thinking about my complicated life. I let my mind wander to the other boys, and what they might be doing now. I hope Zayn is feeling calmer. My mind strays to Louis and Eleanor. I wonder how they're getting on. They've been together such a long time, it seems a waste if it all goes pear-shaped now. They are so good together. I should know, I set them up in the first place.

As if I'm thinking about Louis while I'm in the shower.

I smirk as I imagine the reactions of the millions of fans who believe in Larry Stylinson. What are they called again? Oh yes - Larry shippers, that's it.

Once I'm ready I wait downstairs for Mum. Gemma is whining that she's not been invited, but she's only winding me up and and I'm only half listening.

I open up Twitter and sit down at the kitchen table. I go to my Friends list, and begin scrolling, flicking through for anything of interest. I hear Mum coming down the stairs and I'm just about to put my phone away when a tweet catches my eye. My heart leaps.

@jessie_braddy: @Harry_Styles Apparently it's rude not to acknowledge a follow from you, so thanks!! xxx

Oh my God.

-----*****-----

Hi guys, harrys-dimples-1d made my fabulous cover for this book, so would you take a minute to check out her profile and have a look at her stories?

It is so much fun writing Harry's POV!! I hope you're all enjoying reading it!! I had some time off work today and I managed to get a couple of chapters ahead of myself with it, so I will keep updating this daily unless I fall behind again :)

Thanks for the reads - I hit 1k on this one the other day, I can't believe it!! Unfortunately every time I view my own work (not in create mode) it counts as another read, so I don't tend to reply to comments much as it makes my reads go up and I want a true reflection of how many people are reading without my own reads affecting it!! I reported this to Wattpad weeks ago but it still isn't fixed, so until it is, I only view the chapter once to respond to comments, and then I won't look at it again.... But I read them all as they come through to my email address and I LOVE READING THEM!! So keep commenting pleeeease :) Anyway, sorry to ramble on!!

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