Envy curdles just beneath my skin. From my place on a rough boulder I sip greedily from the loch, the liquid quenching my thirst but not satisfying something else within. My wandering eyes keep finding Leif half submerged in the water, throwing it onto his tattoo-clad skin washing away the gore and dirt matted to the exposed parts of his skin. Still hot, I cup my hand and plant the ice cold water to the back of neck letting out a pleased breath as the droplets trickle down my back cooling my skin and my burning wounds.

Watching the Jarl from the corner of my eye I crawl back further to the rock, closer to Anders who kneels at the waters edge. Taking the two medicine pouches from my belt I offer one out to Anders, "Here. I know it must hurt."

Anders stands awkwardly taking the pouch with his chained arm and opens it pouring some into his mouth.

I do the same. But the moment the liquid hits my tongue lucid memories spark of Svea and I. My core ignites and liquid heat builds. Pushing the memory down I return the pouch to my belt and gnaw on my cheek lifting my guilt ridden gaze to Leif who walks from the water. Mist rolls from his beautiful body and the moment the surface of the water drops passed his naval and the V-shaped hips I clear my throat and turn my head, finding the pale green trees across the lake rather interesting.

"Gorm!" Leif calls for the giant in the water, "Watch the slave!"

"For the love of God," Anders whines. I muster the courage and peak over my shoulder at Leif approaching, thankfully dressed in his leather trousers and boots.

"Rottur! Get over here!" Gorm beckons as he clambers from the water snatching his discarded clothing from the knoll. Anders stands, then gives me his salve of medicine and I join it with my own. He holds my eyes with an annoyed gaze but turns and stalks off to Gorm dressing himself on the incline.

Leif joins me on the rock, bringing with him a salty-sweet scent of what I've learned through the years as simply his skin. He holds a folded cloth in his hand then opens it, "Svea asked I make sure you care for your back."

"Ah." I nod and reach for the balm unsure how I'd be able to apply it successfully.

"Little Bird, of course I'll help." He scoffs but his smile drops instantly, guilt washing over his face.

"Don't," I warn him. The lashing was required. I know he's drowning in guilt and I'd like to think he's kept his distance from me because of that and not of other reasons.

"When you bleed I bleed, Tove." He gently swipes the balm with his index finger and lifts his sea-swept eyes to meet mine. I have no words to soothe his guilt and I don't wish to explore the chance that he is aware of what happened with his wife so I turn, silent, removing my belt and laying it beside me on the rock. Gathering the fabric of the grey tunic I lift it from my back and bundle it in my front gripping it tightly to my chest. The moment my bare back is exposed Leif sucks in a hiss of pain through his teeth and I twist my head to rest my chin on my shoulder. "Forgive me, please?" His words, soft and pained.

"There's nothing to forgive." Silence falls between us, and Leif applies the balm gently to the numbed wounds.

"I suppose these hurt me more than they hurt you." The silence breaks with his spoken words.

I bite my lower lip to stifle a smile, "I suppose." I focus on the surface of the lake and spot a black bird flying off in the distance. My chest warms, knowing the raven hasn't left us. How curious the raven has followed us from Ormensthorpe. I consider for a moment the bird is the one that landed on the bones in town center the day of Anders sentence. I begin to hope it is.

Tender and careful touches apply the cool jelly-like substance to the now numbed wounds on my back. "I deserve to stare to these," Leif admits with a shaky assuredness. "I should have listened to you before—."

"Rottur said you were lost at sea?" I ask. My insides turning and twisting feeling his guilt building inside my own stomach. I can't bare for him to be in pain because of me or my choices.

He chuckles behind me and I relax further into the bundled fabric gathered at my chest.

"Rottur? I approve of it's name." Leif pauses gathering more medicine, then timidly applies it to a cut extending along my side. The touch catches my attention in an instant as it's tip rests close to the side of my breast. I remain frozen and find myself keeping a sharp breath caged within my lungs. "We were lost, for many months. Many of us thought we'd die  amongst the waves." He shuffles closer on the rock and my heart slams against my chest, "If the gods wished my death to die at sea I accepted it." He stands, then sits even closer his legs spread to fit my body between them. Leif removes the clasp holding my hair by mere threads. He catches the fallen black trendals and begins plaiting the thick strands in individual twists. "When the sun would set and the stars would appear — if we were lucky to not be hit with a storm, I'd tell them all of our adventures."

I snorted giggle escapes me," All of them?"

"All of them. I wanted to relive every memory," my scalp tingles and stings from the collecting of my hair but the tension in my muscles drops and I close my eyes feeling like this moment belongs to so many winters ago. "You know how much I love my stories." He adds and my lips twitch with a loose smile.

"Yes, you always seem to be stronger and taller in the majority of them," I giggle and he responds with a low chuckle then yanks a thick strand in protest, "Ouch!"

He grumbles but a giddiness thickens his tone, "You are the best warrior I know, yet you crumble at a little hair pull." He does it again and my hand shoots to my roots.

"Stop, Rævhål (asshole). Don't tempt me on taking a knife to it, you know I will." It's threat pulled from winters ago, I'd send Leif into a madness when I threatened to cut or shave it. I sense he's pleased, but he returns to his gentle twists and nears the end of my hair. I sit between his spread legs relishing in the moment of tranquility.

"You fought bravely," He says dropping my plaited hair, it falls heavily to my shoulder, but he remains planted in place.

"That shield you gifted, it's amazing." I say reflecting on the battle as well as the fight with the men the night before in my hut. Then my smile breaks once more, "It's much better than that useless necklace you gifted Svea." We both break into loud cackle. The sound of our mixing laughter echoes across the water.

"I know. But I didn't know what to get her." Leif admits wiping his tears with the back of his hand then loads his finger with more balm.

"Anything but a stupid necklace." I continue still giggling about it. Silence engulfs us once more and I feel my guilt riding up my throat sitting heavy on my tongue with words wishing to be set free. "Leif, I must tell you—."

"You must not." He deadpans his hands clasping my shoulders forcing a chill down my spine.

"But I never meant to betray—."

"You haven't," He speaks close, his breath fanning my shoulder, "Svea knows I've had others. My heart doesn't belong to her and hers doesn't belong to me." His words lay heavy on my shoulders and my brows come together harshly.

"But you are wed. Husband and wife?" I know some of our people do take on multiple partners and some men even have multiple wives, but all of these action are approved by each other, otherwise it ends in divorce or in blood shed.

He sighs, "You have not betrayed me. Perhaps ... It is I who has betrayed you?"

"You've never betrayed me." I turn pinning a glare at him.

Leif fixes a loose loch of hair and lets his hand linger at my ear, "If you wish to have Svea I'd give you my full approval and support." Everything twists inside and my heart feels as though its held within a tight hold.

"No." I bite out, "I love Svea, but it was a mistake." My voice waivers and it's unclear if it was indeed a mistake or if my shame is clouding the possible depth of my feelings for her. Leif nods once then peers out to the water, his jaw ticked and his expression deep in thought.

"We should continue on." He concludes and stands. I fix my tunic quickly feeling it stick to the balm on my back but stand finding the others dressed and waiting to continue the journey.

I follow Leif from the boulder and take a full breath into my lungs finding I can breathe after what I'd done with Svea. My admiration for my brother pulsing in waves of sweet warmth beneath my skin.

Is anyone surprised with Leif's non-reaction lol

Thanks for reading

CC