I have spent my whole life trying not to be selfish. To be selfless has been the thing that I have strived for. No matter how much it hurt me and tore me down I would put others above myself. I have never thought twice about doing so, but, for the first time ever I crave to do something so selfish, so cruel. I crave to form a relationship that would rip so many apart. I have been suppressing this urge for enough time that I know the longer I wait the stronger it will grow. It is not like the others, it is something that cannot be forced so far down that it doesn't exist. I don't know what will tear me apart more: being unforgivably selfish or being undeniably selfless. Only time will tell I suppose.