Nikoli leaned back and almost toppled over. He came awake with a start and glanced at Lily, but she was still unconscious. They had her in a medically induced coma. The cranial fracture turned out to be more serious than they'd originally thought, and she'd been rushed back into surgery last night to repair a bleed.

At least the machines looked the same as they had before he dozed off. He hadn't left this room since they'd brought her back in. Adam was gone to get them both coffee. He'd offered to bring Nik back some food, but he wasn't hungry. Food held no appeal for him when his entire heart lay in a bed, unmoving and fighting to stay with them.

He talked to her all night, he and Adam both. The doctor said he didn't know if she could hear them, but they agreed it couldn't hurt. Nikoli didn't want her to think she was here alone. If God answered his prayers, she'd never be alone again.

His phone rang, and he pulled it out of his pocket. He answered it on the second ring. "Papa?"

"Son, Kade called and told us what was going on."

The sound of Ronin Kincaid's voice gave him strength he didn't even know he needed. "She's bad, Papa. Her brain is bleeding."

"I'm sorry, Nikoli. Do you want me to come there?"

The fact his father was offering meant more to him than just about anything. The Marines might not be so amiable to one of their officers picking up and flying to the States, though.

"Thanks for offering, Papa, but Kade's here, and Conner's on his way. I'll be fine."

"Kade said you fucked up, boy."

"I did. She told me she loved me, and I lied to her. I said I didn't love her. I let her walk away, and then last night..." He closed his eyes and fought the tears. "The last thing she saw was me with my hand up another woman's shirt. She ran from the house, and that's why he was able to take her. She's here because I'm a fucked-up bastard."

Ronin was quiet for a full minute. "You done fucked up good, boy, but that's not what's important."

"It's not?"

"No, it's not. What's important is how you make up for it. You love her?"

"More than my own life."

"Then show her, boy. Show her how much you love her every single day. Keep telling her. Be persistent if she doesn't want to talk to you. Don't give up. Hell, if I'd listened to your mother, she and I would never have made it past 'hello.' It wasn't easy convincing her to marry me less than a week after meeting me, but I did it, and so can you. You're more like me than any of the others, Nikoli. You have my charm and my stubbornness. Use both to your advantage. Now, stop talking like you've already lost and get your ass in gear. I didn't raise a quitter."

Nikoli sat up straight as his father talked, reacting more to the tone of voice than to the actual words. Ronin was a military man through and through and had never had qualms about using a drill sergeant's voice on his children. But it was the kick in the ass he needed. Maybe Kade saw how despondent he was and called their father for backup.

No matter the reason, he was glad.

"No, sir, I am not a quitter."

"That's what I want to hear, boy. Now, tell me about this woman of yours. Your mother is asking."

Nikoli smiled. Of course his father would blame it on his mother when in truth he was probably more curious than she was.

"She's beautiful. Remember when I was little, and Mama made us watch Snow White?"

"You made fun of the cartoon."

"Yeah, well, Lily could be Snow White. She has dark black hair, the deepest blue eyes I've ever seen, and skin as pale as snow. I'm marrying the woman whose spitting image I made fun of."

"You're marrying her, are you?"

"Yes, sir. Just as soon as I can get her to agree."

Ronin grunted.

"She's kind, and she doesn't have a bad word for anyone. She can out-eat Luther, and she's wicked smart. She loves video games, and she wants to be a writer. She helps anyone and everyone who needs it. Mama will love her."

"Sounds like you found a good one."

"I did. It took us a while because of her fear, but we go there."

"Fear?"

"Yes, sir. She has a form of PTSD that manifested in a weird way." Nikoli told him about Lily's fear and what brought it about. "Knowing how you dealt with some of your attacks helped me help her, so while I hate that you went through that, Papa, I'm grateful too."

"I'm sorry she's suffered. No one should ever be afraid to touch someone they love."

"She's not better yet, but she's working on it. At least she doesn't jump out of her skin when her family tries to hug her now. A complete stranger would be a different story."

"Yes, PTSD never really goes away. You just learn to manage it."

"She'll get there."

"What are the doctors saying?" Ronin paused to cough, and Nikoli frowned. His father had been coughing the last few times he'd spoken to him.

"Papa, have you been to see the doctor about that cough yet?"

"I will soon. Your mama reminds me every day. Back to your woman. Tell me what the doctors are saying."

"It's a waiting game. They repaired the bleed, but there's still some swelling, and they do CT scans every couple of hours to monitor it. I don't know what I'll do if she dies, Papa. The last image she had of me...that'll haunt me."

"Don't think about that. Focus on the future and everything you're going to do to make up for it."

"Thanks, Papa."

"I'm going to go now, son. I have a meeting with General Thomas I have to get to, but I wanted to call and make sure you were okay."

"I love you, Papa."

"I love you, too, boy. Now stop wallowing in guilt and get to work."

Nikoli laughed and hung up the phone. He needed a good, stern talking-to from the one man he admired more than anyone. His father was a hard man, but he loved his woman and his children in a fierce way. It was the way he'd love Lily and his own children.

He reached over and took her hand. She was warm today. She'd been so cold yesterday and last night. It scared him.

"Fight, dushka. If you do, I promise I'll fight for us and you'll never go a day without knowing how much I love you."

"Do you mean that?"

Nikoli turned his head to see Janet standing in the doorway to Lily's room. Dark circles were under her eyes. Mike forced her home last night, but she'd been in the waiting room since around six this morning. Nikoli had to use his company name to get the hospital staff to let her stay outside of visiting hours. Not that Janet knew that, but Lily would want her here.

He ran a hand through hair that hadn't been combed since yesterday. It was a little oily. He needed a shower, but he was afraid to leave Lily. What if something happened while he was gone?

Janet came over and squeezed Lily's other hand before sitting next to him. "How is she?"

"The same. The doctors say if the swelling keeps going down, they'll start to wake her up in a few days."

"I'll sit with her if you want to go home for a couple hours. You need a shower, and those clothes are starting to stink. You've got blood all over them."

"No. I'll go home when she wakes up."

Janet sighed and pulled open her bag. It was a huge bag. More of a beach bag than a purse, but Nikoli refrained from saying so. Women were weird when it came to their purses. They could get downright hostile.

"You should read this, then. Maybe you'll understand what you did to her and never do it again. Because if you do, I don't care what I have to do. I'll find a way to make you pay for it."

The fierceness on Janet's face was intense, and Nikoli drew back. He'd just been thinking of hostile women, and here sat one ready to maim him any way she could.

He took the tablet she held out to him and looked down. A document was pulled up, and he frowned.

Touch Me Not by L. Holmes.

"This is her book?"

"Yes. She took the story of the two of you and put it into words. She changed the names, but you'll understand everything when you read it."

Nik's hand shook as he held the tablet. He didn't know if he wanted to read it. He'd seen her pain firsthand. To read it in her own words...he wasn't sure if he could handle that.

"You damn well better read it. You caused that hurt, so you should know the mess you left her in."

He sat up and got his shit under control. He forced his expression into a bland one. "I'm not going to hurt her, Janet. She means everything to me, and I'll spend every day for the rest of our lives showing her that."

"Then why the fuck did you break up with her?"

"Because I was scared. And a fool."

"You an asshole."

"That too."

"I have to go meet Mike for lunch. He's bringing my homework to me. I'm not leaving the hospital tonight. They'll have to have security throw me out."

"I'll make sure they leave you alone."

"And how can you do that?"

He smiled his snake charmer's smile. "Trust me."

Jan shook her head and stood. "You are such a manwhore."

"A reformed manwhore."

He didn't hear what she said as she left, and he swiped the page and started reading. Janet was right. He deserved whatever pain this might cause him.

He just hoped his heart survived it.