The street was far from quiet, but none of the sounds from passing cars and strolling pedestrians reached me as I approached the door to Cameron's picturesque townhouse. With my heart beating wildly against my ribs, I inhaled the city air far into my lungs. It smelled of warm pavement and tasted like a mixture of paint and exhaust.

The wine bottle was cold in my hand, but I gripped it tightly as I finally braved to knock on the wooden door. It was stupid to bring wine if we were going out, but it felt wrong to meet up at his place with nothing.

Once. Twice.

The sound reminded me of all the times I had stood before Gabriel's door, afraid of what would meet me when the handle turned. But, Cameron wasn't Gabriel. Cameron was sane where Gabriel wasn't. Cameron had been there for me when Gabriel hadn't. Cameron was so much more than the idealized idea of a person who had, in fact, never existed in the first place. At least that was what my therapist had tried to tell me.

Swallowing my excess saliva, I backed away and tried to calm down. It was just dinner. Nothing else.

I must have spaced out longer than I thought because the door swung open, taking me by surprise. I swallowed again, fidgeting with just about everything as I openly gawked at the man before me. Maybe it was the knowledge that I was free to finally admire him that made him insanely attractive, or maybe it was the warm glint in his eyes.

He still wore that silly slim black tie that I wanted to tug.

"Hey," he said, backing away from the opening to let me inside.

"Hey." I fought to find something more enigmatic to say, but my tongue got stuck.

"Want to sit down for a while? They called about the reservation. Apparently they're running a bit late. Can I take your jacket?"

Feeling jitters all over, I shrugged out of my thin jacket and attempted to hand it over—something that should have been simple enough, but my life had ceased to be simple long ago. My fingers held on to the fabric with determination, and we ended up in a weird tug of war.

"You okay?" he asked when I wouldn't let go.

"Yeah."

"You sure?"

I let go of the jacket. "I'm sure. Just nervous." And why did I have to tell him that?

A smile spread on his lips. "No need to be."

"I know."

"I remember. No funny business."

Heat rose to my cheeks, but it was a nice kind of warmth. I finally managed to find a smile, and Cameron seemed to relax with me.

"Would you like something to drink? Wine, or would you rather have a beer?" he asked.

"No. I mean. Whatever you're having."

He chuckled, and I knew I'd made a fool of myself again. He didn't comment, however, and we migrated into the kitchen.

He appeared perfectly at ease, as if it were the most natural thing in the world that I walked around in his house. Perhaps it was something that should have calmed me down, but it had the opposite effect. He was sure where I fumbled. He was confident while I lost myself in his gaze.

"Why don't you put on some music while I prepare this?"

"Sure." Relieved to have a task, I went to look for some kind of sound system. The town house wasn't big, but it was incredibly cozy. The large living room windows opened up to a lawn at the back with some miniature trees and hedges. It was a tranquil oasis in the middle of the city, hidden from view by the surrounding buildings.

Turning away from the garden, I saw some speakers in the corner, and it didn't take long to find the stereo. A shelf full of CDs stole my attention and I skimmed through the titles. I recognized about half of them. Grinning, I took one of them and went back into the kitchen.

"Really, Cameron. Absolute 90's?" I showed him the CD case. "Who gets stuff like this?"

He winced, but broke into a smile. "I think I got that fifteen years ago. Christmas 2001 maybe."

I began to chuckle, and soon, it turned into a full laugh when he tried to take it from my hands.

"I'll have you know that there are some decent hits on this one."

I clutched both the case and my strained stomach. "No. No. Don't," I forced out while laughing. The bastard resorted to tickling me to get what he wanted. That wasn't playing fair at all.

"Go put that on, and I'll prove it to you," he said, still touching me with his warm hands. The caress ignited a fire so bright that he didn't have to say another word. I needed to compose myself before I did something stupid.

"Fine. Fine. I'll put it on."

He let go instantly. "Good. Track Seven."

Breathing heavily, I tried to calm my racing heart. "Okay. But I'll be the judge. If that song sucks, I'm finding something else." Before he could attack me again, I fled into the living room and got everything going.

When the song started to play, it seemed like my laughing just wouldn't stop.

"Cameron, what is this?"

He danced out of the kitchen, singing tremendously off-key.

"Oh my god, stop. Stop!" My stomach hurt so badly, muscles spasming as I laughed.

He took my hands and forced me into a strange dance that ended up with our chests pressed together and his lips against my ear.

"Oh ah—just a silly song. Oh ah, a little bit wrong," he sang, this time in perfect pitch.

I was crying. Tears of laughter. Slipping my arms around his neck, I clung to him, feeling like the happiest guy ever. He was insane, goofy and amazing all at the same time.

Maybe this night wouldn't be so bad, after all.

* * * *

With my fingers clasped around a delicate wine glass, I inhaled a calming lung-full of air. I had no reason to be nervous, but as soon as a more serious atmosphere settled around us, I fought to keep my cool. Overly aware of absolutely everything across the restaurant, my nerves danced far too close to the surface.

Every texture beneath my fingertips told a tale, every waft of a scent called at my memories, every sound battered my brain, but worst of all were all those little details I noticed when my gaze constantly lingered a second too long on Cameron. The slight curve of his upper lip, the way his long lashes whispered through the air every time he blinked, the dimple that appeared on his right cheek when he smiled, those minuscule details latched onto my retina and sent my heart thumping faster and faster.

He sipped his wine and arched his eyebrow ever so slightly as our gazes met. He knew I was staring.

I averted my eyes and focused on the small portion of food on my plate. A faint rumble from my stomach insisted that I try it out, but I doubted I could muster a single bite. In fact, I had no idea how I would get out of this situation. Throwing food wasn't an alternative.

Blasted nerves.

Cameron seemed oblivious to my state of mind and kept talking and eating as if nothing were wrong. Much like the other guests around us.

"Was this your last day?" he asked out of the blue. Or, maybe it wasn't right out of the blue. I should contribute to the conversation, after all.

I let go of the glass, hands returning to my knees where they were free to fidget. "Yes, last day."

"Which course?"

"Marketing."

An amused glint flashed in his eyes. "So now you can assist me with marketing. Great. I hate that part."

I didn't know if I was supposed to be embarrassed, or if the confusion was totally all right. "What?"

"Good move to study some marketing if you're going to freelance."

A sound that might have been an 'umm' or maybe 'eh' slipped out. Perhaps my brain wasn't working on normal frequencies after all that hyper-awareness. A conversation was obviously beyond what I could cope with. Instead, I caught sight of his moist lips.

A foot skirted past my leg beneath the table, and I dropped my fork on the plate, causing a clatter that screeched in my ears.

He didn't seem to have noticed.

I wondered how he would react if he knew how my skin touched fire when he got too close but not close enough.

Cameron shifted on his chair, and the atmosphere appeared to transform around us. He looked into my eyes, not wavering for a second. "So, I got a letter that they've settled a day for the trial."

A chill seemed to rush through the room, settling on my skin like a thin film of broken dreams. I wasn't sure I wanted to talk about Gabriel, but in one way I owed it to Cameron. He'd been there. He'd shared what had happened that last horrible day. Silence was not an option.

"Yes, early July, so quite soon."

"Are you okay about it?" Cameron winced. "Sorry, that was a stupid question."

"I never want to see him again, but I don't know if I like the thought of him in jail."

"You will meet him in court."

"Yes."

He leaned closer. "You won't be alone."

I smiled, grateful that he at least didn't seem to hate me for everything I'd put him through. The guilt was still there, but seeing that he was alive and well helped more than anything. "No, I won't be alone."

My breath hitched as he placed his fingers over my hand. It was a light touch but steady all the same. Slowly, I ran my thumb over the back of his hand. "Thank you. Thank you for everything."

"You don't have to thank me, Adam."

"But I want to. You saved me even when I didn't know I needed to be saved. You—"

"Adam, it's okay. I'm just glad you've left him and that he's facing trial."

I closed my eyes, instantly remembering how I'd seen blood dripping from Cameron's face. "I'm so sorry."

"Hey, don't say that. You have nothing to be sorry about."

Wrong. I had everything to feel guilty about. "I let him hurt you."

"No, you didn't hit me, Adam. He did."

"But it was my fault."

"No Adam, it really wasn't, but I also understand if you're not ready to see that yet. I won't push."

I swallowed and glanced at the other guests around us. Hopefully none of them had heard. No, I wasn't ready to say that it wasn't my fault because that was just wrong. Of course it had been my fault. I'd been the one to stay in the first place. I'd been the one to ignore the warnings.

Cameron leaned forward. "So, as we're being honest here. I thought I'd let you know a secret."

I gulped, almost ready to retract my hand from his. I wasn't sure I had the strength to dig deeper.

"About those hand cuffs." Cameron's eyes glinted with mischief.

I wasn't sure how to feel, at least not when Cameron was smiling like that. Did he like kinky sex, and how did I feel about the possibility?

He grinned. "I know you might be disappointed when you hear this, but they were for a photo shoot."

Laughter bubbled up from the depth of my stomach. He'd done it again. He'd taken me back from the depths only to make me smile in the silliest way.

Cameron cleared his throat. "I mean, I don't play around with that stuff regularly."

"'Regularly'?"

The grin on his face said enough and sent my heart rate through the roof. "Maybe we'll get to try them some day."

Great, now he had me thinking about sex. My cheeks warmed beneath the dim restaurant lights. I wasn't that much of an innocent, but there was so much tension between us already... I feared I would make a fool out of myself.

He smiled, nudging me beneath the table.

"We're not in a rush, so don't worry. I'm a patient guy."

"How patient?"

He leaned closer. "Patient enough to wait until you're ready. I won't lie Adam, my feelings have grown over time since you flushed bright red that first time we met."

"Since the start?" I didn't know what to say or what to think.

"I thought you were attractive, but it wasn't until long after Chicago that I realized that I was in trouble. I fought it off, both because of your boyfriend and the fact that you were my student. I felt very bad for almost everything, and when you—" He paused, running his free hand through his short hair. "When you pushed me away after everything had happened, I didn't know what to do, only that I had to keep my feelings at bay."

"I'm sorry."

"Adam, I understand. I really do. I know it's not easy to leave someone when you're wrapped firmly in someone's clutches."

"I hurt a lot of people."

"It pales in comparison to how you were treated. Don't worry about it. I just wish I'd done more."

I interlaced our fingers. "You did more than enough. I'm here now, aren't I?"

"You are."

"And if you have to know, I've had feelings for you a lot longer than I should have as well. I didn't want to acknowledge them, but they were there."

The smile on his face was breathtaking, filled with relief and warmth. "I like the sound of that."

I didn't know how to respond, so I simply sat there, feeling like everything was falling into place somehow.

* * * *

Outside the restaurant, lingering warmth brushed against my overly aware skin. The city was alive with sounds and chaos, but I barely registered what was going on around me. Cameron had every bit of my attention.

With a mouth dry like a piece of chalk, I tried to say something, but instead we fell into silence as we ambled forward. The tension pulsed fiery bright, tugging at my core until I wasn't sure if I could take another second of it.

Cameron solved the situation. "Hey, they're featuring some of my photographs in one of my favorite magazines. Want to see?"

We stopped beside a lamp post, and Cameron unlocked his phone. To see, I stepped closer and gasped as our hands brushed. Seriously. I was no better than a teenage boy around his first crush. I was supposed to be a bit more restrained than this.

He looked up from the screen, obviously wondering what was going on. Another wisp of air inhaled too quickly.

So close. Only a few inches away. My lips. His lips.

Silence and tension banded together and slowed the seconds that passed. They seemed infinite as our short breaths mingled. Eyelids fell and opened. I wanted his touch but was too afraid to claim it. I leaned back and tried to calm my heart.

He caught my hand—fingers entwining as if he was reluctant to let me go.

I squeezed my consent, and apparently, that was the only signal he needed. His other hand sought out my chin—a light, lingering touch of a question.

I could barely breathe as he closed the distance between us, forgetting the busy street and flickering street lights.

He was warm and soft, tender and careful. I leaned forward, touching his chest with seeking hands, gripping the fabric of his shirt as he deepened the kiss.

Pulling me even closer, he seemed to erase everything that had happened to give us both a new start. Chests burning against each other, I gave him everything I had. He tasted like sunlight as my lips touched his skin. Once. Twice.

This should have been my first kiss. Perfect. Passionate. Pure instead of tainted.

A/N Another picture from lovely Anonymous78912