After a week of silence from Gabriel, Chris finally realized that something was up with me.

I had tried my best to pretend that everything was just the way it was supposed to be, but as the days passed, my smile faltered more and more. Gabriel wouldn't take my calls, I didn't dare knock on his door, and the few times I'd seen him on campus, he'd always been with his friends who couldn't know about us. I was a mess.

"Adam, seriously, what's going on?"

We sat on Chris' bed, watching an episode of Twin Peaks on his laptop. The Log Lady was on a roll, but apparently that wasn't enough to keep Chris' mind occupied. His question came out of nowhere, but it rang with true concern as if he had thought about it for quite some time.

"I think I'm coming down with a cold. It's nothing to worry about."

"I don't like that you're lying to me."

'Lying'. I hated it, but here I was, lying to one of my closest friends—if not, my only close friend at this point. Chris deserved truth, but since Christmas, I had lied with disturbing frequency. I had lied to Gabriel, my family, Chris...the list went on.

"I think I've been rejected."

Chris sighed. "You've never actually told me about this mystery person that you're obviously seeing although you said it was over. Why can't you tell me?"

"Because he's not out of the closet." It was the truth, and it was the easiest way to deflect the conversation. Even Chris had to have some kind of understanding for closeted gays.

"Like I would tell anyone." He was annoyed, and I couldn't blame him.

"I can't betray his trust like that."

"You're awfully protective of someone who's rejected you."

His words stung. Hearing the word rejected coming from another made it ten times worse. It became real.

"I'm sorry, that was insensitive." Chris patted my shoulder. The pity wasn't much better, however. I didn't want pity—I wanted to be left alone.

"It's all right."

"No, it's not. You're sad, and I'm not helping."

"Can we just watch the show?" I asked, hoping that he would drop the subject.

"We can, or you can tell me more about that photography teacher you're seeing all the time. You seem happy after you've been at his studio. I think I even saw a smile the other day." Chris nudged my side, sending me an apologetic smile.

Cameron. Chris was right. Spending time at the studio offered the opportunity to breathe, especially now that Gabriel wasn't talking to me. When I worked, or when Cameron and I landed in a silly or deep discussion, I managed to reach through the haze of worry about my rocky relationship and could focus on other parts of my life. However, every night the spell broke as soon as I passed Gabriel's corridor, hoping to catch a glimpse of him—or even better, get a chance to talk to him. The silence between us was killing me.

Chris interrupted my thoughts. "Come on, tell me about him. Is he any good?"

I had to think for a second before I remembered that we were talking about Cameron. Was he good at what? Did Chris think that we did more than work together?

"He's a great photographer," I replied, choosing to ignore the possible hint from my nosy friend.

"He's kinda cute."

"Chris, stop it." I hit his shoulder as I felt my cheeks redden.

"You totally have a crush on him." Chris smirked, clearly satisfied with his skills of deduction.

"I do not."

"You do. You're blushing."

"So what if I'm blushing. You're implying that I have a crush on my teacher. It's embarrassing." Maybe I did have a small crush, but it was nothing compared to the feelings I had for Gabriel.

"Is he your mystery date?"

"Chris. Really, this is not funny."

"Makes perfect sense that you want to keep it secret."

I grabbed one of his pillows and hid behind it. This is not happening. Out of all the wild guesses, he chose this one. And, the worst part was that I wouldn't be able to prove him wrong unless I told him about Gabriel—which I couldn't do. My stomach churned uncomfortably.

"I hope you know what this means," Chris said.

"What?" My voice was muffled by the pillow, but Chris managed to make out what I was saying.

"I'll make it my mission to get you guys together."

I threw the pillow in Chris' direction, but he punched it away with ease. "You're not doing that."

"Oh, but I am." His eyes glinted with mischief—he was serious. Damn it. I wondered if he knew how uncomfortable I was beneath the banter.

"Please, Chris. You can't. I work for the guy. Don't screw this up for me."

"Your puppy eyes are not working, not even when they try to be mad at me."

"I'm serious. Cameron and I are just working together. Nothing more."

"Ah, first name basis."

I retrieved another pillow and smashed it into his face. "You're not funny!"

"Fine. I won't be obvious about my plan. Don't worry. He won't notice."

I slumped my shoulders and got off the bed. It was ignoring-Chris time.

He laughed and continued to talk about his plan of how to get us together, but I stopped listening and went to brush my teeth instead. It was all too much. Just dealing with the thoughts of a failing relationship was enough, but no, Chris had to make it even worse.

* * * *

When I awoke the next morning, I was still upset with Chris and afraid that he would do something stupid to embarrass me in front of Cameron. I had even dreamed about it during the night. In the dream, Chris had surprised Cameron and me at the studio. He'd caused a scene that had me fleeing down the stairs. If that ever happened, Chris would wish he'd never befriended me in the first place.

I trudged to my first class, feeling less enthusiastic than usual at the prospect of seeing Cameron. Instead, I grabbed a seat at the back of class with a tight knot lodged in my stomach that made it impossible to follow what was going on. Cameron directed a question to me at one point, and if not for my extra sessions at his studio, I wouldn't have known the answer. Luckily, he didn't seem to notice that I hesitated before answering.

Ten minutes later, the girl sitting next to me leaned over. "You're his assistant, aren't you?"

I had never talked to her before. I wasn't even sure I had seen her, but I didn't have it in me to ignore her. "Yes, I am."

"Gosh, you're so lucky. He's like the hottest teacher ever. I bet a lot of people are jealous."

She must have known I was gay, otherwise she would never have said anything like that. Of course, I blushed even though it was the wrong response.

"Aww, you're blushing. Is he gay? I mean, we've all been wondering. We all hope he's bi at least, though."

What's wrong with people? I hunched over, refused to answer the question and tried to hide from the world. I'd probably made it worse for myself, but I couldn't deal with anyone saying anything at the moment. Even thinking about Gabriel and our troubles was better than this alternate reality people were trying to shove me into.

The lesson continued, and to my relief, the girl stopped pestering me. She did ask a few more pointed questions before that, but I ignored her like I had ignored Chris.

When the lesson ended, I practically ran down the stairs toward the exit.

"Adam, can I talk to you for a second?" He was always professional whenever he addressed me in the classroom.

The knot in my stomach bloomed into a web of tangles. Turning, I walked over to Cameron's desk at the front.

"What's up?" I tried to sound casual but failed.

Cameron frowned. "You okay?"

Great, more concerned people. Wasn't it enough to deal with Chris?

"I'm fine. Coming down with a cold or something."

"That's sucks." Okay, so perhaps he wasn't always professional. "I was going to ask if you wanted to visit Chicago this weekend. We've got a photo shoot." He grinned as he stacked some papers together and put them in his briefcase, looking as carefree as ever. Of course, he had no idea that the class was whispering about us. I was sure they did after the odd conversation with that girl. She was bound to spread the word.

Students were still filing out of the room, looking over their shoulders at us with knowing grins plastered on their faces.

I cleared my throat and waited for the last person to leave.

"I don't think it's a good idea."

"Why?" He sounded disappointed.

"I want to go, but I think people are talking about us." I don't know where I'd found the courage to say something like that.

Cameron frowned. "That's strange. You have a boyfriend. Anyway, their gossip shouldn't ruin important work."

I found myself nodding. However, I didn't know if his dismissal of the rumors helped me decide what to do about the situation. I wanted to go with him to Chicago, especially since we would be doing some real work, but I also needed time to hunt down Gabriel and ask him what the hell was going on. On the other hand, if I stayed here over the weekend and he continued to ignore me, I would be devastated. Some days away could perhaps help me clear my head.

Cameron must have noticed my indecision. "It will be great. You don't have to pay for anything while we're there, and I'll give you some extra cash for the trouble."

I felt myself slipping. "What kind of photo shoot is it?"

"It's a fashion shoot. You'll bring a fresh eye, so please think about it." He grabbed his briefcase and made his way to the door, almost as if he took for granted that I would say yes after those words. He was partially right. Flattery always worked—even on me.

"I'm not sure I have an eye for that kind of thing." I remained skeptical.

"I've seen your photos, so you can't fool me. You definitely have a talent for it."

Shaking my head at the ridiculous notion, I caught up with him at the door and walked outside. We stopped as he turned to lock up the classroom, and I realized that I was being an idiot. I couldn't pass up on an opportunity like this. Besides, I liked Chicago.

"Don't overdo it. I'll come."

"Great. I'll book our tickets later and send you the details. See you tomorrow." And with that, he walked off, disappearing into the crowd while I stood there like a fool, wondering how the hell I would break the news to Chris without worsening the situation. Who was I kidding? Chris would have a field day with this information.

I sighed again and slumped against the wall. My chest clenched at the thought of a weekend without resolving things with Gabriel. We needed to talk, but how long would I have to listen to the monotone signals before he decided to pick up? Every time I tried in vain, I felt the rejection all over again.

* * * *

Chris was laughing. It wasn't even one of those regular laughs ringing with simple good humor, instead he clutched his stomach and more or less choked on himself as he clasped the navy blue duvet beneath him. The apartment felt too small as he continued—there was no space to hide from him.

"You're telling me...?" He continued to laugh, barely able to speak.

"Yes. We're going to Chicago. No, it's not a romantic weekend." I folded my arms across my chest, hoping his misdirected amusement would die down. The prospect of a weekend away was losing its appeal more and more. In fact, it was a terrible idea.

Chris shook his head—still laughing.

"Chris, it's not funny!"

"Says who?" More laughter.

"I do." I sat back against the wall, holding a pillow tightly to my chest. "You're making this awkward for me. Aren't you supposed to be the supportive friend?" Chris' reaction made me want to cancel the trip. If he saw it this way, then I didn't want to know what others would say. The students on my photography course might treat me differently if they knew, and I wanted to avoid that kind of attention.

And if Gabriel finds out... I stopped the thought, knowing how bad it would make me feel. I already felt like crap for agreeing to go with Cameron even if I hadn't been able to talk to Gabriel about it.

The bed dipped beneath us as Chris inched closer to pat my shoulder. He made an effort to stifle his chuckling. The attempt wasn't very successful, but it helped to calm me down a notch.

"I'm sorry, Adam, but you really should date this teacher."

"Why would you say that?" My annoyance grew again.

"Because you get so flustered."

I wanted to smack him. He was right about me being flustered, but I didn't enjoy the reminder. I couldn't think about Cameron and me that way. He was attractive enough to distract me even without the added tension. Besides, I needed to think about Gabriel, not Cameron. I had to find a solution that would keep us together—losing him wasn't an option now that we had finally ventured beyond friendship. A twinge of pain that I'd grown accustomed to during the week nipped at my effort to keep up appearances.

"I'm easily flustered."

"That pout, though." Chris laughed again.

"What?" I winced and pinched the bridge of my nose. I didn't like where this was going.

"You're pouting."

"So what if I am?"

"Never mind. I'm happy for you." He calmed down and patted my shoulder again. "Chicago sounds awesome. Wish I could go with you."

"Well, maybe you can. It's not like you're interrupting something." I was slowly reaching the point where my voice would hint at anger rather than mild annoyance. Chris should have known when to stop.

"Nah, I wouldn't want to ruin it for you."

"You wouldn't be ruining anything."

"But," Chris waggled his eyebrows, "you never know."

This time I did smack him—a light touch across his head that made his blond hair fly. However, my attempt at anger didn't seem to make much difference.

"I'm just saying that you never know. You don't know what he's planned."

I wanted to wipe the grin off his face, but thought better of it and rose to leave. If he found it amusing, he could go ahead and make fun of me as long as I didn't have to listen.

The door closed behind me with a firm click. It was late at night, and the corridor was oddly silent. Most likely, the other residents were trying to catch up on some sleep before tomorrow. Fridays were always tiring, not only because they marked the end of five days in school but because everyone expected you to stay up late and have fun.

The linoleum floor squeaked beneath my soles as I approached the large window at the end of the long corridor. It looked out over a small parking lot and patches of nature between countless buildings—barren branches that would burst alive with greenery in a few weeks. Rebirth. Another chance for another season.

Leaning against the granite window sill, I got out my phone and checked it for the umpteenth time. Still no messages. No missed phone calls. I sighed and put it away, trying to distance myself from it all.

If I had been stronger, I might have walked down the stairs and knocked on Gabriel's door, but I wasn't ready to face yet another silent rejection or an angry outburst. Gabriel needed time, and I might as well try my best to learn as much as I could from Cameron even if it felt like I betrayed Gabriel's trust by going.

I grasped the cold granite. It was solid beneath my fingers, unrelenting and steady. I had no wish to turn into stone, but perhaps it was better to steel my emotions than letting them run rampant. Logic said that Gabriel had no reason to think ill of me for going to Chicago to do my job—so I would listen.