"Last time on Total Drama Minecraft Returns, the teams had to complete a scavenger hunt. Each mob had one item to find, but some mobs helped one another. Chloe and Kain worked together, and almost kissed, but then Jesse--who seems to have turned good since Jamey's elimination--saved them from a zombie attack. Wooly accidentally activated a trap that prevented Pola from getting her item, angering Stella. He also had an emotional breakdown just blocks away from his own item. Wooly was voted out, but he was okay with it because he got to see Sherry and Ory. What traumatizing challenge will the mobs be forced to go through today? Find out right now, on Total Drama Minecraft Returns!" Herobrine said.

~~~

Killer Creepers (5): Ech, Stella, Wilbur, Jack, Pola

Screaming Zombies (5): Kain, Jesse, Chloe, Colton, Lloyd

~~~

SZ

Jesse walked into the boys side of the cabin after using the restroom. He walked over to his bed, but tripped on nothing and fell face-first into it.

Colton started laughing. Lloyd chuckled. Jesse got up, his face flushed. Kain looked back and forth between Colton and Jesse, confused.

~~~

Kain's Confessional (SZ)

"Uh...what is going on? Did Jesse and Colton switch roles or something?"

~~~

SZ

Chloe was alone on her side of the cabin. She liked being alone, but she also hated being alone.

"Maybe I should see if Kain will come keep my company..." she muttered to herself.

The ocelot made a decision. She walked over to the door.

Then stopped.

Chloe went back to her bed and sat down.

"No. I can't."

***

KC

"That's it. I give up. This code is too hard to crack," Wilbur said. He was on the girls' side of the cabin with Stella and Pola, like always.

"Come on, you're gonna give up that easily?" Stella asked.

"Yep," Wilbur replied. "It's been like six challenges and we still haven't figured it out. I'm outta here." The pig started to walk away.

"Loser," Pola whispered, loud enough for Wilbur to hear.

"What was that?" Wilbur asked.

Pola smiled sweetly. "Oh, nothing."

Wilbur marched up to the her. "Listen here, polar bear. I..." He faltered. "You're right. Bye."

He walked out the door.

Pola exhaled. "I can't believe I called him that."

Stella grinned. "You did good."

Pola grinned back. Then her smile faded. "He didn't give us a hint about the challenge."

"Maybe that's why he left. He doesn't want to keep giving us hints," Stella reasoned.

"But what does all this mean? How does he know what the challenges are gonna be?" Pola asked.

Stella sighed. "I don't know." She put her head down next to the phone. But then she perked her head back up. "Pola."

"Hm?"

"Look in the corner of her lock screen picture," Stella said.

Tac's lock screen was a selfie, but in the corner, something long, black, and metallic was sticking up.

"It looks like an antenna," Pola murmured.

"An antenna to what?" Stella asked.

Pola shrugged.

***

KC

"Huh. Now that Wooly is gone, I'm alone in the cabin. Nice," Jack said to himself.

"No you're not," Ech replied with a sigh.

"Gah!" Jack exclaimed. He located the bat. "Oh yeah. I--"

"Forgot I exist, I know," Ech muttered.

Suddenly, Wilbur burst through the door.

"I just roasted those two," the pig chuckled. Then, his eyes widened.

"I forgot you were a guy to be honest," Jack said.

"Burn," Wilbur whispered.

Ech raised an eyebrow.

"Challenge time!" Herobrine announced.

~~~

Ech's Confessional (KC)

"Wilbur predicted the tennis challenge with his puns a few episodes ago. Did he just predict this one as well?"

~~~

The ten remaining mobs were teleported to an audience seating, with a stage in front of them. Behind the stage were several huge amplifiers and speakers. Two raised platforms were across from each other on the stage, with a microphone in front of each.

Herobrine appeared on the stage. "Welcome to your next challenge!"

The mobs were silent.

Herobrine looked at Stella. "What? No interruption?"

Stella shrugged.

"K. Your next challenge is a roast battle!" Herobrine announced.

Ech coughed. Wilbur glanced at him nervously.

"You will be paired with a mob from the opposing team, and will have to roast each other. You can say anything you want about them. Be as mean as possible! When your opponent doesn't reply with a roast, they lose the battle, and the winning mob earns a point for their team. The team with the most points after the five roast battles wins! The other team will be sending someone home," Herobrine explained.

"Isn't this a little harsh?" Kain asked, glancing at Chloe.

Herobrine shrugged. "Probably. First up--"

Suddenly, the huge wall of speakers and amplifiers fell backwards and crashed on the ground.

Herobrine sighed. "Come on! Those would have been cool!"

The speakers responded by exploding. The stage and raised platforms were unscathed, though.

"Whatever. First up, Kain vs. Wilbur!" Herobrine announced.

***

Wilbur and Kain stepped up to the opposing platforms. They stared at each other.

"I will randomly select who will go first, and the roast battles after that will alternate accordingly," Herobrine said. He snapped his fingers, and lightning struck next to Wilbur, making him scream.

"Wilbur goes first! Ready, set, go!"

"Uh...you're a real dog and all you do is woof," Wilbur said. "I wish you would go jump off the woof! Get it? Like roof?"

Kain shook his head. "You're a fat pig with a terrible sense of humor. Most of your puns don't even make sense."

"Oh yeah? Well you bark, which reminds me of bark on a tree! And trees are boring!" Wilbur shouted.

Kain raised an eyebrow. "You're trying to roast me with puns. It's not working. My roasts are so good, I turned you into bacon!"

"Yeah, well....uh.......I got nothing," Wilbur sighed.

"Kain wins!" Herobrine announced. "That's a point for the Screaming Zombies! Next up, Lloyd vs. Stella!"

***

Lloyd and Stella climbed up to their opposing platforms.

"This is sick, dude," Lloyd chuckled into the microphone.

"Since Wilbur went first last time, Lloyd will go first this round," Herobrine said. "Ready, set, go!"

"Dude, you're just a tiny little girl," Lloyd said with a lazy grin. "You don't stand a chance in this competition."

"I don't stand a chance?" Stella asked incredulously. "Have you looked in a mirror lately? You're too sloppy and lazy to do anything for yourself! The only reason you're still in the competition is because your teammates have other threats to worry about."

Lloyd's jaw dropped. "Not cool, bro. I bet you couldn't even lift a stick off the ground."

"I doubt you could either," Stella retorted. "You're too lazy to bend down that far! Get a life other than sleeping and eating all day."

"That's not all I do, man," Lloyd said. "Sometimes I play video games. As for you, I bet you're still in school!"

"I am, and I'm passing with all A's," Stella responded. "I bet you dropped out after sixth grade."

"Seventh, actually," Lloyd replied.

There was a pause as Lloyd waited for Stella to reply. He didn't realize he forgot to roast her.

"Idiot," Stella muttered.

"Stella wins!" Herobrine announced. "That's a point for the Killer Creepers! It's now tied, one to one. Next up, Jesse versus Ech!"

***

Jesse and Ech stepped up to the opposing platforms.

"Where's my opponent?" Jesse asked.

"Hey! Save that for the battle!" Herobrine replied.

"What battle? There's nobody there," Jesse said, genuinely confused.

Ech picked up his microphone and threw it at Jesse.

It hit him in the head. "Ow! Oh, it's the bat."

"Since Lloyd went first last round, Ech will go first this round," Herobrine announced. "Ready, set, go!"

"You're the ugliest horse I've ever seen," Ech said. "Did you get die and come back to life or something? Oh. You did."

"Look at yourself! Oh wait, you can't. Nobody can even see you! At least I'm noticed by people," Jesse responded.

"I don't need to be noticed. Everyone around me is an idiot," Ech replied with a shrug. "But at least I'm smart. Ever since Jamey was eliminated, you've had no idea what to do. She was the brains, and you were the...well, nothing."

"I've changed for the better since Jamey was eliminated. And people like me now. Nobody likes you, because everyone forgets you exist. You're nothing. A loner. A loser. You can't make friends. The squid tried to be your friend, but you pushed him away. You're scared of making friends. Because you can't keep them," Jesse retorted.

Ech opened his mouth the respond, then closed it again. Without a word, he flew off the platform.

"Was I too mean?" Jesse asked.

"Nope! That was awesome!" Herobrine laughed. "Jesse wins! That's the Screaming Zombies' second point! Next up, Chloe versus Pola!"

~~~

Jesse's Confessional (SZ)

"Aw man, I was trying to be nicer with Jamey gone. But I think I really hurt Ech's feelings. I should go apologize."

~~~

SZ

"I can't do this," Chloe whispered, still on the ground. "I have stage fright."

"Hey, you'll be fine," Kain said. "There are only like nine people watching here. Plus the thousands that are watching on TV."

Chloe whimpered.

"Right, not helping. You'll do fine, Chloe. Pola is probably just as scared as you. There's nothing she can say that's meaner than what you say," Kain reassured her.

"Alright..." Chloe stepped onto the stage.

***

KC

"I can't do this. I hate being mean to people!" Pola exclaimed.

"You were mean to Wilbur this morning," Stella pointed out.

"Yeah, but that's because he was annoying me," Pola mumbled.

"Then pretend Chloe is Wilbur. Be as mean to her as possible! She won't tell us her secret! The more you hurt her, the closer we'll get to knowing her secret!" Stella said.

"You're right," Pola replied. "I'm gonna do this!" She ran onto the stage.

***

Pola and Chloe stepped up to the two platforms. They both didn't look each other in the eye.

"This will be interesting," Herobrine chuckled. "Since Ech went first last round, Chloe will go first this round. Ready, set, go!"

Chloe whimpered. "You're a...big fat polar bear."

"You're a scaredy cat," Pola retorted. "All you do is whimper. You're afraid of everything. And you won't admit you like Kain, when you obviously do. Why don't you two just date already? Oh, I know why. You're too scared."

Chloe ran off the stage.

"Huh. That was easy," Pola said.

"Pola wins! That's another point for the Killer Creepers!" Herobrine announced. "It's tied at two points. Whoever wins this next roast battle wins for their team. Last, but not least, Colton versus Jack!"

***

Colton and Jack stepped up to the opposing platforms. Both looked cocky and not nervous at all.

"Since Chloe went first last round, Jack will go first this round," Herobrine announced. "Whoever wins this wins the challenge. Ready, set, go!"

"You're the clumsiest mob I've ever met. It's like you were born with no sense of balance. Take yoga lessons or something, dude. Seriously," Jack said.

"I guess you haven't seen me recently. I haven't stumbled in a few challenges. And I've won a bunch of challenges for my team. Can you say the same? Last I checked, you've done nothing to contribute to your team besides insulting them. You're literally a dumba**," Colton responded.

"Yeah, well you're...uh...stupid!" Jack exclaimed.

"Says the one who couldn't think of a good roast," Colton retorted.

Jack sighed. "I got nothing."

"Colton wins it for the Screaming Zombies!" Herobrine announced. "Killer Creepers, time to send someone home again!"

~~~

Jack's Confessional (KC)

"Man...usually I'm good at insulting people! I don't know what happened there..."

~~~

Stella's Confessional (KC)

"Well, we still need to figure out how Wilbur is predicting challenges. And I'm not gonna vote for me or Pola. I guess that leaves Jack."

~~~

Wilbur's Confessional (KC)

"Pola called me a loser."

~~~

Pola's Confessional (KC)

"Can't vote off Wilbur or Stella or myself. That leaves Jack."

~~~

Ech's Confessional (KC)

Ech just sighed.

~~~

The five remaining Killer Creepers sat on logs around the blazing campfire. Herobrine appeared in front of them, a plate of brown mushrooms in hand.

"You guys were roasted. Now one of you must pay. If I call your name and toss you a mushroom, you are safe," he said.

"Stella."

"Wilbur."

"Pola."

---

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---

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---

---

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---

---

Herobrine raised an eyebrow. "Wait, there's one mushroom left, but Jack is the only other mob."

"Guess that means I'm safe," Jack said with a grin.

"No, it means I am," Ech spoke up, causing everyone to jump.

"Oh yeah. Ech," Herobrine tossed the bat a mushroom.

"Wait, what?!" Jack exclaimed.

"Jack, you're going home," Herobrine said.

"You idiots voted me off?!" Jack exclaimed. "I'm your best player!"

"No you're not," Pola muttered.

With that, Jack and Herobrine disappeared.

***

Jack reappeared in the Catapult of Shame. Herobrine teleported next to him.

"Any last words, Jack?"

"I don't deserve this!" the donkey yelled. "I deserve to win!"

Herobrine pulled the lever, and Jack was flung into the night.

***

Ech was alone in the guys' side of the Killer Creepers' cabin. Wilbur had left for some unexplained reason. Suddenly, there was a knock on the door.

Ech flew over to it and opened it. A zombie horse stood there.

"Hey, Ech," Jesse said. "I'm sorry about what I said. I'm just used to being mean, ya know? But I'm trying to change."

"It's cool," Ech replied.

"Really?" Jesse asked. "I thought I really hurt you."

"Nah." Ech shook his head. "Thanks for apologizing, though."

"No problem." Jesse started to walk away. He stopped and turned back around. "Hey. I hope we get to the merge together."

"I hope so, too," Ech replied, closing the door.

The bat smiled.

***

"What more do I have in store for the mobs? Will Jesse and Ech become friends? Will Stella and Pola get into Tac's phone? And why is Colton acting so confident? Find out next time, on Total Drama Minecraft Returns!" Herobrine said.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

I probably could have made that episode better but ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

At least it wasn't a week late this time

Only a few days remain to sign up for my final Total Drama Kik Competition! Details are in "Radish's Kik Comps"!

Thanks for reading, and don't forget to vote, comment, and follow!

~Radishologist