"Last time on Total Drama Biome Tour, we met our 20 animal contestants! Our first biome was the plains. The contestants did a racing challenge to determine the three teams. After they decided team names, each team had to build a village of three buildings. Our favorite Villager Joe came back to decide which team won and lost. The Mammals lost, and Haylee was sent home. What will happen today? Find out right now, on Total Drama Biome Tour!" Herobrine said.

***

The Mammals (6): Kain, Chloe, Wooly, Porky, Mooshie, Sherry

Wilbur And Them (7): Jack, Cocoa, Wilbur, Stella, Cluck, Colton, Moolissa

Team Jet (6): Ech, Jesse, Jamey, Ory, Tic Tac, Cean

***

The plane was flying. Wilbur And Them were in first class.

Stella was looking out the window of first class, ignoring Cluck's babbling about "useless men" to Colton nearby. Colton was also a man, but he was just nodding his head along with what Cluck was saying.

Jack, Wilbur, and Cocoa were still enjoying first class. Empty containers of food and drink littered the floor all around them.

Moolissa strutted by, trying to look sexy. Jack and Wilbur made grossed out faces at her until she left.

"Dude, why does she think she's so hot?" Jack asked.

"I don't know! She's the opposite of hot!" Wilbur replied.

"We should definitely vote her off soon," Jack said.

"No."

Jack and Wilbur looked at Cocoa, confused.

"I mean, wouldn't it make more sense to vote off the chicken? She is much more annoying," Cocoa explained.

Jack and Wilbur looked at each other. They looked back at Cocoa.

"I guess so," Jack said.

~~~

Cocoa's Confessional

"Whew. Saved myself there. I didn't want to make it sound like I like Moolissa. Because I don't. Really."

~~~

Jack's Confessional

"I'm keeping my eye on Cocoa. If he turns too soft, he's out of the gang."

~~~

Wilbur's Confessional

"That mooshroom is so ugly, it reminds me of my grandma!"

~~~

Team Jet was in coach, separated from the other two teams.

Ech and Cean sat next to each other, not saying a word. They were just enjoying each other's company.

Tic Tac was looking at her reflection in the window, pretending to take selfies. But, she didn't have her phone with her, so she couldn't actually take any.

Ory say by herself with a smile on her face, not saying anything.

Jesse and Jamey were together, discussing their opponents' weaknesses.

"The squid is useless on land," Jamey said.

"And the bat is puny and weak," Jesse replied.

"The cat doesn't care about anyone else," Jamey pointed out.

"And the rabbit is much too cheerful," Jesse added.

"And...oh. That's everyone," Jamey said.

"But who should we eliminate first?" Jesse asked.

***

The Mammals were also in coach, separated from the other two teams.

Chloe sat curled up on a bench. She wasn't shaking anymore, but she was still very scared of everything.

Wooly was sitting on a bench, and his mother Sherry sat next to him. She was watching him, making sure he didn't do anything dangerous. Wooly just sat there, ignoring his mother.

Porky and Mooshie were running around in circles for some reason. Suddenly, Porky stopped, and oinked. Mooshie stopped as well, mooing confusedly.

Porky gestured to Chloe, who had started mumbling something. Mooshie looked at her and mooed.

The two of them bounded over to Chloe. She was mumbling "I wanna go home, I wanna go home, I wanna go home."

Porky snorted, right in front of her. Chloe raised her head, looking at him.

Mooshie mooed, and Chloe looked at him, confused.

Porky oinked a bunch of times in a row, like he was explaining something. Mooshie nodded his head along with him, understanding what his buddy was saying.

"I don't know what you're saying," Chloe replied softly.

Porky snorted in exasperation. He ran over to the door of the plane, and gestured to an elytra parachute hanging from the wall next to it. Then, he gestured to Chloe.

"What?" Chloe asked, still confused.

Mooshie mooed in exasperation. He nudged Chloe, then ran over to the door of the plane and nudged that.

The door opened, and Mooshie fell out.

Porky looked out the open door and oinked. He then jumped out after his buddy.

Kain watched the whole thing and sighed. Those two were idiots.

~~~

Chloe's Confessional

"I think Porky and Mooshie said they were gonna vote me off. Why? Because I said I wanted to go home? That's not what I meant..."

~~~

The plane landed in another biome. The mobs walked out, and realized they were in an oak and birch tree forest.

"Welcome, mobs to your next challenge!" Herobrine announced. He snapped his fingers, and Mooshie and Porky appeared with the rest of the mobs. They both had Egyptian robes on.

"Where did you even get those?" Herobrine asked.

Porky started oinking rapidly.

"Never mind, I don't care," Herobrine interrupted. He snapped his fingers, and the robes disappeared.

Mooshie mooed sadly.

"Anyway, today's challenge is in a forest, obviously. This forest is split into three sections. Each team will have their own section, which has about a hundred trees in it. Your job is to find the gold block that is hidden underneath one of the trees. Whichever team finds their block first wins first class. Whichever team finds their block last must send someone home," Herobrine explained. "You do not get axes, because we're on a budget here."

"Aren't you magi-" Kain started.

"I will teleport you all to your section of the forest now!" Herobrine interrupted. He snapped his fingers, and the mobs were teleported. "Ready, set, go!"

~~~

Jack's Confessional

"Cutting down trees for a challenge? Herobrine really needs to make things more interesting."

~~~

The Mammals started cutting down trees. Well, Kain started cutting down trees.

"My little Woolington is not going to punch a tree to break it," Sherry said. "I demand axes."

"Mom, they're just trees. What are they gonna do to me?" Wooly asked.

"You could get splinters!" Sherry replied.

Wooly groaned.

Porky and Mooshie were running around the trees, playing tag. Mooshie was currently it, and ran into a tree while trying to catch Porky.

Chloe was sitting by a birch tree, not doing anything. She was staring off into space.

Kain sighed in exasperation and continued breaking trees.

~~~

Kain's Confessional

"Fine! I don't even care anymore! If our team loses, it loses. Then we'll all be voted off! Ha!"

~~~

Wilbur And Them started cutting down trees.

Stella was as far from the rest of her team as she could get. She started to cut down some trees.

Colton was cutting down trees, stumbling around clumsily as he did so. Moolissa did pretty much the same, but with slightly less clumsiness.

Cluck was harmlessly cutting down a tree, humming to herself. Jack, Cocoa, and Wilbur were nearby.

"Hey guys," Jack said. "Watch this."

"Oh boy," Wilbur whispered.

Jack walked up to Cluck. "Need any help there, little girl?" he asked.

"Little? LITTLE?" Cluck asked. "NO, I DO NOT NEED HELP! ESPECIALLY FROM A MAN!"

She started angrily cutting down trees, faster than before. Meanwhile, Wilbur and Cocoa hooted with laughter. Jack just grinned and walked back over to them.

"That's how you get a challenge won," he said.

~~~

Cluck's Confessional

"I hate men SO much! This is why we need feminism!"

~~~

Team Jet started to cut down trees.

Ory cheerfully broke the bottom block of each tree, not bothering to cut down the rest of it. She peered underneath, looking for a gold block.

Tac lazily broke some wood. When she was almost done with one, she gasped and stopped.

"I broke a nail!" she whined.

Ech and Cean were near each other, doing the same as Ory and only breaking the bottom block of each tree. They looked at each other as Tac wailed.

Jesse and Jamey were working together, breaking the same block of a tree.

"Is this actually working faster than normal, or do we just think that it is?" Jesse asked.

"I'm not sure, but let's do it anyway," Jamey answered.

***

Porky and Mooshie ran by Kain. Kain reached out and grabbed Mooshie by the tail. He kept trying to run, not realizing that Kain had his tail.

"Mooshie!" Kain shouted. Mooshie turned around to look at Kain. "You and Porky need to help with the challenge! Break the bottom blocks of the trees until you find a gold block."

Mooshie mooed in response and went to find Porky.

"Woolington, you stay here," Sherry said. "I am going to help with the challenge."

"Why can't I help?" Wooly asked.

"It's too dangerous," Sherry answered. She started to cut down a tree.

Chloe continued to not do anything.

~~~

Wooly's Confessional

"My mom is sooooo annoying! Can we just eliminate her already?"

~~~

Cluck was still angrily cutting down trees like a madman. She still hadn't found the gold block, though.

Stella was at the far end of their section, cutting down trees. She didn't want the rest of her team to come near her.

Colton tripped over a tree root--even though those don't exist--and fell on the ground. "Gosh, I'm so clumsy."

Jack, Wilbur, and Cocoa were just watching their team cut down trees, not helping. Just like Zupay, Zombieswine, and Zombee did in the first episode of season one.

:o

Moolissa cut down a tree nearby, turning around and winking at the three guys.

"Wood you go away?" Wilbur laughed.

"When will you understand that no one likes you?!" Jack yelled.

Moolissa looked hurt by this. She walked deeper into the forest sadly.

"Hey uh, guys, we should probably help cut down trees," Cocoa said. "If we want first class again, then we have to win."

Jack considered it. "Eh. True. Let's go."

The three of them started cutting down trees as well.

***

Ory continued breaking down trees, humming happily. She noticed Tac nearby, crying.

"What's wrong?" she asked.

"My nail broke!" Tac whimpered.

"You mean your claw?" Ory asked.

"Nail!"

"Oh...okay," Ory mumbled. She went back to breaking down trees.

"So," Cean said to Ech as they broke wood, trying to start conversation.

"So," Ech replied.

"Um...how's the girlfriend?" Cean asked.

"Don't have one," Ech answered.

"Yeah, me neither," Cean said. "I always freeze up in front of girls. I'm just so nervous around them. Even if I don't like them, I'm nervous! But around guys, I'm normal. Why is that?"

"I dunno, dude," Ech replied. "I'm not really shy, I just don't talk that much."

"I've noticed," Cean said.

Jesse and Jamey were still breaking wood together.

"Now that I think about it, I don't believe this is working more efficiently," Jesse said.

"I agree," Jamey replied. After breaking that block, they stopped. "Let's continue on our own."

~~~

Jesse's Confessional

"Jamey is my partner in crime, and we do almost everything together."

~~~

Jamey's Confessional

"Jesse is my partner in crime, and we do almost everything together."

~~~

Kain cut down another tree, sighing as he did so. He was about to just give up. Porky and Mooshie hadn't listened to him; they were still running around. Sherry was working, but very slowly. Chloe and Wooly did nothing.

Kain wanted to give up. But he also really wanted first class. So, he continued cutting down trees.

Mooshie tagged Porky, and Porky turned around and started chasing Mooshie.

~~~

Porky's Confessional

*oinks angrily*

~~~

Stella hadn't found the gold block yet, and she was running out of places that her teammates weren't in yet. Cluck was still angry, cutting down trees. Colton was still tripping around clumsily. Jack, Wilbur, and Cocoa cut down trees, laughing about things as they did.

Cocoa strayed from his buddies as he cut down trees. Now, he was alone.

And then he wasn't. Moolissa was next to him.

"Hey," she said. She sounded sad.

"Uh, hey," Cocoa replied.

Moolissa started to cut down a tree, but very slowly. She sighed sadly every once in awhile. Cocoa watched her break the wood block painstakingly slow.

Moolissa was almost done breaking it, and she sighed very loudly. Cocoa groaned.

"What is wrong?" he asked.

"Oh, nothing," Moolissa replied. "It's just that...your friends are really mean to me."

"They don't really...mean it. They're just friendly jokes," Cocoa tried.

"Uh huh, sure," Moolissa replied. "They said no one likes me, and they think I'm ugly."

"I don't think you're ugly," Cocoa blurted out. He seemed to realize what he had just said.

"Hey! Cocoa! What are you doing with ugly?" Jack yelled.

"I gotta go," Cocoa said. He glanced at Moolissa again, and walked over to his friends.

"I saw you with her," Wilbur said. "Get it, saw? And we're cutting down trees?"

"We get it, Wilbur," Jack replied. "Anyway, why were you talking to her?"

"I was just laughing at her for being so slow," Cocoa mumbled.

Jack stared him down. Cocoa gulped.

"Alright, you're good," Jack said.

Cocoa breathed a sigh of relief as they continued cutting down trees.

~~~

Cocoa's Confessional

"I can not let them know I was comforting Moolissa. They would kick me out of the gang for sure!"

~~~

"This is getting exhausting," Ory said to herself. "But, I can't just sit out! That would be rude!"

She glanced at Tac when she said that.

Tac didn't answer. She was still sitting out, staring at her broken nail and crying softly.

"What if we just break the dirt?" Cean suggested. "Then we can see if the block under the tree is gold."

"Good point," Ech replied. "You do it, though."

"Why me?" Cean asked.

"It could be against the rules. I don't want to be disqualified," Ech answered.

"But you want me to be?" Cean asked.

"Better you than me," Ech responded. "Besides, it was your idea."

"Well I changed my mind about that idea," Cean grumbled.

Jamey broke a block of wood. Underneath it, was a block of gold.

"Aha! Victory!" Jamey exclaimed.

"Marvelous!" Jesse chimed in.

"Team Jet wins first place, and first class!" Herobrine announced.

***

Kain sighed. "Ya know what? I hope we lose! Then I can vote off you incompetent imbeciles!"

Porky and Mooshie stopped running and stared at him. Kain glared back.

~~~

Mooshie's Confessional

*mooing angrily*

~~~

Colton stumbled on something once again, and ran into Jack, knocking them both down.

"Ohmygosh! I am so sorry!" Colton exclaimed. He stood up, and tried to help Jack up. Jack shoved him away.

"Not cool, dude," Jack replied.

"Sorry! I am such a klutz!" Colton muttered. "I'll just...go over there now."

Jack huffed. He looked around. Almost all of their trees were gone.

~~~

Colton's Confessional

"I can't believe I irritated the coolest dude on Total Drama Biome Tour! I am so screwed."

~~~

Kain flopped down. He gave up. He wanted the other team to find their gold block before them.

Porky and Mooshie looked at Kain, then looked at each other. Then, they looked at the forest.

The two of them ran around to all the trees, inspecting them. Finally, Mooshie stopped by a birch tree. He bumped it with his head. Porky oinked and nodded.

Together, the two of them broke the wood.

And underneath it, was a gold block.

"And The Mammals get second place!" Herobrine announced. "Wilbur And Them, time to send someone home!"

Kain got up in surprise. He looked around, and saw Porky and Mooshie by the gold block.

"No...you couldn't have," Kain said.

Porky oinked, and Mooshie mooed.

"It was them," Wooly spoke up. "I saw them."

Kain couldn't believe it. Instead of replying, he walked back over to the plane.

***

Jack, Wilbur, and Cocoa sat near each other, discussing who to vote off.

"The mooshroom is pretty ugly," Wilbur pointed out.

"We shouldn't vote her off because of that, though," Cocoa replied. Wilbur gave him a look. "Heh."

"How about the feminazi chicken?" Wilbur suggested.

"No," Jack said. "I have a better idea."

~~~

Moolissa's Confessional

Moolissa looked at the six passports in front of her. "Cocoa was nice to me, but Jack and Wilbur called me ugly." She stamped a passport.

~~~

Jack's Confessional

Jack didn't speak. He just stamped a passport, a solemn expression on his face.

~~~

Cluck's Confessional

"All men are pigs! So naturally, I'm voting off the pig." She stamped a passport.

~~~

Wilbur's Confessional

"Have you heard of that new movie Constipation? No? That's because it hasn't come out yet! Get it? Ahem. Anyway. Gotta do what Jack says." He stamped a passport.

~~~

Stella's Confessional

"Everyone on my team is really annoying. It's hard to decide who to vote off." She finally decided, and stamped a passport.

~~~

Cocoa's Confessional

"As long as it's not Moolissa, I'm fine with it." He stamped a passport. "Wait. Did I just say that?"

~~~

Colton's Confessional

"Oh...I don't want to seem mean by voting off Jack or the others. I think I'll vote off the chicken. She's pretty annoying." He stamped a passport.

~~~

Wilbur And Them sat on a few benches near the door of the plane. Herobrine stood in front of them, a plate of red dye in front of him.

"Welcome to your first elimination, Wilbur And Them," Herobrine said. "If I call your name and toss you red dye, you are safe."

"Stella."

"Cocoa."

"Moolissa."

"Wilbur."

"Jack."

It was down to Cluck and Colton.

"And the last safe mob is..."

---

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---

---

---

---

---

---

---

"Cluck. Colton, you're going home."

"That proves all men are pigs!" Cluck yelled, which didn't really make any sense at all.

"Aw man," Colton muttered. He walked over to Herobrine and put on the elytra parachute.

"That's what happens when you mess with Jack," Jack said.

"I said I was sorry," the mule mumbled. Herobrine opened the door to the plane.

Colton jumped out.

"Nice. We're done here," Herobrine said.

The remaining members of Wilbur And Them dispersed.

"What more do I have in store for the mobs? How much longer will Kain be able to stand Porky and Mooshie's nonsense? Is something going on between Cocoa and Moolissa? And why are there no after-elimination scenes like there usually are? Find out next time, on Total Drama Biome Tour!" Herobrine said.

~~~~~~~~~~~

There are no after-elimination scenes because it's 2am on Saturday at the time of me writing this. So really, the episode will be up later today.

Wait, it's already up, since you're reading this.

DON'T JUDGE ME IT'S 2AM

Thanks for reading, and don't forget to vote, comment, and follow!

~Radishologist