CHAPTER THIRTEEN.

A slow breathe escaped Liliya's lips as she closed her eyes. Taking a moment to debate what to do. If she kept up the act, she might convince the man to walk away. If she revealed herself she risked getting shot before she could even turn around. Liliya wasn't going to be herself. Now she had to be Lisenka.

"Please, please, what are you doing? I have not done anything," Liliya quickly began. Her words were full of fear, shaking as she lifted her hands above her head. The Shu ambassador scoffed and pressed the gun further into her back. A sneer on his lips, "Please, sir, I do not... I do not want anyone hurt," She begged softly. Letting her eyes water as she glanced back. The Shu ambassador shook his head.

"Walk with me and don't try and escape, Grisha," He hissed as he turned her. One hand on her arm as he pushed her across the terrace. Putting them both out of sight of the doorway. Liliya followed along, her bottom lip trembling and the tears beginning to fall. Putting on the best act she could, she needed him to doubt himself even for just a second.

"I am... I am not a Grisha, please, sir," Liliya begged. Turning around when he paused. She kept her hands up as she looked down at him. The tears running down her face as she stared into his eyes. They were a soft blue, like the ocean but in the gloomy night they seemed much more stormy. There was anger in them.

"My men do not make mistakes and you may have changed your hair but they know you," The ambassador threatened. Liliya knew that she was beat so she dropped her hands, her sleeve wiping her nose. Her fingers wiping the tears away. The ambassador seemed surprised by her willingness to give in but Liliya didn't feel like being pushed around. She had heard enough discrimination against Grisha for a lifetime and now she was going to let that anger out.

"So, what are you going to do? Kill me? You're the one that was hiding a Grisha. General Kirigan always gets what he wants," Liliya said as she stepped closer. The barrel of the gun was now pressed against her chest. She was slightly unsteady on the heels but she would not let her training go to waste.

"We would not h-" The ambassador began but Liliya grabbed the gun. She twisted his hand and the gun went off. Shooting a bullet into the night air. Literally did she know that the gun had quickly become engulfed in shadows. The sound being silenced in a second as the bullet dropped into the grass.

Her eyes widened and the ambassador managed to pull the gun back. She stumbled back slightly and threw her hands up, her gaze flicking across the terrace. The shadows meant that Kirigan was around, where was he. She let out a long breathe before looking back to the ambassador. The gun pointed at her again.

"Don't waste your bullets. This is bullet-proof," She spat. A lie. A complete and utter lie. She just hoped that he would fall for it. He stared at her and chuckled, gently shaking his head. The gun then went off and she was sure she was going to die. Her hands thrown in front of her face as a reflex but then she saw that the bullet was stopped by a wall of shadows.

Both of them were confused, completely lost. Kirigan didn't seem to be around but he was protecting her. Wherever he was, she took advantage of the ambassadors confusion. Her body was quickly thrown towards him and the two of them landed in a heap on the stone floor. The ambassador's head bashing against the stone. The gun to one side but he managed to grab it before she could. It was quickly evident he was out of bullets so she yanked it out of his grip. Her hand then swinging the butt of his gun against the side of his head.

This disorientated him enough for her to get to her feet. Her hands wiped the dress and she threw the gun off into the garden. A soft huff escaped her lips when she noticed he was standing up. She gritted her teeth and then grabbed him from the floor. Slamming him against the wall of the Palace, she shoved his face against the stone.

"I won't kill you because I'm not going to jeopardise this country for a simple ambassador. I don't want war but I will leave you with a warning," She whispered before slamming his head into the stone. It wasn't hard enough to do any real damage but his head was now bleeding. Liliya stepped back and glanced around to see Kirigan stood by the entrance door. The gloom of the night seemed to hug his figure as he stared at her.

She sent him a smile and brushed her hair out of her face. The ambassador's actions had caused her hands to be red and her hair to be tousled. Her fingers ached slightly from how much force she had put into gripping the ambassador's hair. She should have been more careful.

"I heard a gun. Nobody else noticed. What happened?" Kirigan asked as his gaze flicked from the ambassador to Liliya's face. She had managed to get out of the situation without a mark on her. The gunpowder on her fingertips and some redness on her fingers but nothing noticeable.

"They know who I am. His guards will too. I need to leave," Liliya said as she tucked some hair behind her ear. She was glad to get out of the party if she was being completely honest, "I'll find Lord Yanovich and ask him if we can leave," Liliya added moving to step back into the palace. However, Kirigan grabbed her arm and pulled her away to the secluded part of the terrace. The ambassador was knocked out a few steps away but Liliya ignored him.

"Are you alright?" He asked as he lifted her chin. Liliya smiled and took a gentle hold of his wrist, moving it to rest down against his side.

"I am, General. We can talk about this later," Liliya said, letting her air-y tone return. She was worried that someone followed Kirigan. She knew that they were secluded from the exit of the room but she didn't know who was listening. She certainly didn't know what they were planning but it worried her nonetheless.

Kirigan nodded and glanced back. His hand moved to her waist, gripping her hip and keeping her close to him. He stared at the door for a moment before he pulled her closer. His other hand resting against her cheek as he connected their lips. He was soft yet passionate. His fingers gripping her hip tightly, keeping her close.

Liliya gasped against the kiss but melted into it. Her hands moving to rest on his shoulders and quickly used that as leverage to push away. He stared down at her for a moment and she smiled slyly. Glancing back at the door before looking up at him.

"That was highly inappropriate. Later," Liliya reminded before she broke away from him. Kirigan stared at the back of her as she walked away. Admiring her as she purposefully swayed her hips. She liked to think that she drove him crazy and it seemed that maybe she was right. However, as she stepped into the palace, she put up her facade once again. Her hands resting at her sides as she bit her bottom lip. Trying to spot Yanovich among the crowds was almost impossible.

"Lisenka. Are you okay?" The voice of Yanovich made her jump. She turned around to face her father and smiled sheepishly. She shook her head slightly and he raised an eyebrow. He turned around and placed his champagne glass down.

"I feel sick. The crowds are too much. Could we go back to our room? I feel like I cannot breathe," Liliya said, letting her tone change. Her accent suiting Lisenka once again. The plead in her voice. Yanovich knew that he had to accept so he nodded his head but he lifted his hand and felt her forehead for fever.

"You do feel warm. Yes, of course, let's go back to the room. Wait by the door, I need to say some goodbyes," Yanovich said. The warmth in his voice soothed her. There was a possibility that everyone in the room knew who she was and they wanted her dead but she was leaving. She would be safe once she left. That's all she needed, to be safe and away from the crowds. The Shu that wanted her dead and knew her face.

She nodded and then turned away. Weaving through the crowds was the hardest part, there always seemed to be someone who wanted to speak to her or ask where her father was. She did her best to ignore them and got to the door quicker than she expected to. Once the doors had closed behind her, she felt like she could breathe and she took a few more steps.

Her hand moved to rest against her forehead as she took a long deep breath. Her heart hammering, she didn't realise how work up she had gotten until a soft sob escaped her lips. It was quiet and if you weren't paying attention, it would have been missed. The tears dripped down her cheeks and she rested her back against the wall. Her head tilted up, staring at the ceiling as she desperately tried to blink back the tears.

"Lisenka..." A voice said and she jumped. Only to realise that it was Yanovich. She sent him a teary eyed smile and then stepped down the corridor.

"We should go to the room," She managed through the tears. He frowned but nodded, taking her arm and walking down the corridor. They were quiet but when they reached the quarters where Yanovich was staying, he spoke up.

"Come inside until General Kirigan comes to collect you," He offered as he stepped through. Liliya scrubbed under her eyes in an attempt to remove the tears that had stained her cheeks. She found herself nodding without really meaning to and she stepped inside. He gestured for her to sit down on the sofa and Liliya sat down. Her head rested in her hands as a louder sob escaped her lips. Her whole body shaking as she let the tears fall free.

Yanovich stayed quiet and began to light the candles in the room. He was quick but cautious, worried about setting anything alight. Once the room was lit, he walked over to her. The tears had subsided and now she just sat, her heels on the floor and knees pressed up against her chest.

"What happened?" Yanovich asked, his voice was still like honey. He was slightly tipsy, she knew that. She was too but it didn't seem to effect him. Instead, he just tried to reassure her with a small smile. It made her feel safe and her head fell against his shoulder. He adjusted slightly and took a hold of her hand.

"A Shu man recognised me. He tried to shoot me. I don't even know how I'm here," She admitted, a soft chuckle escaping her lips as he squeezed her hand. Liliya curled up against him, seeking the fatherly comfort he seemed to give.

"The Saints must have been smiling upon you," He said softly as he looked down at her. Her eyes were still full of tears but they no longer seemed to be falling, "You did the brave thing today and you played the part so well. The Saints were pleased and they spared you," He offered as an explanation. Liliya chuckled and gently shook her head. She lifted her head and wiped the tears from under her eyes. Her stomach twisting in anxiety.

"The Saints do not help my kind. That's what I learnt tonight. I couldn't believe what I heard," Liliya said as she rested her head against her knees. The soft fabric pressing against her skin. The whole dress seemed to be so soft.

"The Saints help those who seek it and they bless those who deserve it and need it most," He responded, "and those people, General Zlatan, Baron Petrovich. They are undeserving of their titles. They are cowards, both of them. All of them. Rather than seek to unite, they seek to destroy. They are scared of anything different to themselves. You are not like them, you are so much more magnificent," He finished, his smile was still soft, gentle. He wasn't being sleazy or cruel, he was speaking the truth. Liliya chuckled softly and shook her head.

"The only thing I'm magnificent at is nearly getting myself killed," Liliya chuckled softly. He gently shook his head and held his hands out to her. He then gestured to the scars along the back of his hands, his fingers pressing against them.

"These are the scars you gain from being a reckless failure. You are not a reckless failure. I have only known you a night and yet I see so much of my daughter in you. Has anyone ever told you why she is a recluse?" He asked as he turned his hands back over. Hiding the scars from her view. He was as ashamed as she was. She shook her head and he smiled sadly, "Fear. The world scares her, just how it scares you, but you are braver than she is. She would learn a lot from you if I could ever convince her to come out of the house," He chuckled softly. Liliya grinned and shook her head, unable to stop herself from chuckling too.

"Thank you for being my father. Even just for the night," Liliya muttered. Yanovich looked up at the door and saw Kirigan stood. The hallway light leaking into the room. Yanovich looked down to Liliya and nodded.

"It was my pleasure but your General is here. It is time to go," Yanovich said. Liliya looked up and nodded her head. She then pushed some stray hair out of her face before standing up. She muttered another soft 'thank you' to Yanovich before she walked out. Kirigan following close behind as they went back to the Little Palace.

***

The next morning, Liliya felt exhausted. Her hair had returned back to it's natural shade and her eyes were back to blue. A welcome surprise when she looked in the mirror in Kirigan's bathroom. She had been using it for a few days, it still felt strange but she knew that she had to get used to it. It was where she was staying now or at least till her night terrors subsided. Though she didn't think they ever would now. It was becoming exhausted.

Kirigan had turned to staying up with her early in the mornings and he finished his paperwork earlier. She didn't like how he had to change his whole schedule to accommodate for her and she didn't quite understand why he had begun to do so. She should have been accommodating for him not the other way around.

Her head rested in her hands as her elbows rested against the edge of the sink. A soft huff escaping her lips. She was exhausted, tired and she wanted nothing more than to crawl back into bed but she had to speak to Kirigan. They had yet to talk about what she had heard. She had been too exhausted and too emotionally drained to do much. Kirigan just helped her change and they kissed and slept. They both seemed tired. Kirigan more so when he woke up.

Liliya splashed her face with water again before dabbing it clean. She then turned on her heel and decided to just get dressed. She neglected to wear her kefta since she was going to go and speak to Kirigan. Her blouse was pulled over her head and loose pants. The boots were on the side but she decided against wearing them. When she went for breakfast, she would slip them back on.

Once she was satisfied with her appearance, she walked out to the war room. She passed through the room and into the corridor, walking down to his office. The door was ajar but nobody could see out. Instead, Ivan and Kirigan were talking at the desk. She went to walk inside but heard her name and paused.

"It seems that Liliya has something inside of her," The voice of Ivan made her skin crawl and she suddenly felt the need to go back to the room. She wanted to put her kefta on just to feel more protected from him.

"Ivan, this is quite an accusation to make. Are you suggesting she is hiding something?" Kirigan asked, the curiosity was evident in his tone but he was being cautious. Liliya could picture the look on his face without looking at him.

"Yes. I watched her fight that Shu ambassador," Ivan responded. Liliya quickly realised what they were talking about. The shadows. The shadows that had been Kirigan. He had saved her but Kirigan said nothing. He didn't refute Ivan's claim and went completely silent. She furrowed her eyebrows and stepped away from the door.

But this movement alerted them to her presence, her shoulder knocking against one of the paintings. She turned around quickly to face the door and Kirigan appeared, pulling it open a little. He smiled down at her.

"I came to tell you about what General Zlatan said," Liliya said quickly. Kirigan nodded his head and then glanced at Ivan. The man stood up and was quick to take his leave. Leaving the pair to walk into the room. Liliya took her seat on the wooden chairs and Kirigan sat on the opposite side. He had her write down the main things she could remember the previous night. The list discarded on the side of his desk.

"Most of it is written here?" He asked and Liliya nodded. She held her hand out for the paper and he handed it over. She glanced over it all, biting her lip as she read over it. Her handwriting was messy but it was coherent. Her fingers traced over everything and she nodded before handing it back over.

"Yes. That is the important things. I left out their more unsavoury comments," She muttered. Kirigan nodded and folded the piece of paper before tucking it away into a notebook. She smiled and then moved to stand up, "I'll be happy to expand on anything," She added before she stepped away from the study. Something felt wrong about being sat in there with him. It felt wrong to be acting so formal after everything.

Her hands swayed by her sides as she walked back to Aleksander's room. She fell face first against the bed and didn't care to listen for Aleksander following but he did. She rolled over on the bed and watched as he closed the door behind him. He then walked over to her and she pushed herself to sit up, staring up at him.

"Whatever Ivan was saying. He is a liar," Liliya muttered. Aleksander nodded and then moved to sit down on the bed. He took a hold of her hips and pulled her into his lap. She allowed him to do so, straddling his waist and running her fingers through his hair.

"Tell me what happened with Ivan. You have not trained with him for days," He requested as he tucked a strand of red hair behind her ear. She sighed and moved her hands to rest against his chest. Unsure how to start as she fiddled with the buttons of his shirt. Then, she felt his lips against the skin of her neck and the breath caught in her throat, "Tell me," He mumbled before he began to suck harshly on the skin. The other marks he had left were subtle and they had disappeared quickly. Liliya didn't think this would happen with this one.

"Aleksander..." She whined softly and he hummed against her throat. His teeth nipping at the skin and she gripped his arm tightly, biting her lip as she tilted her head to the side.

"Milaya, tell me," He muttered softly, "If this is too distracting, I can stop," He added as he lifted his head from her. Liliya quickly grabbed his arm and shook her head. He smirked and then dipped his head back down, leaving a few soft kisses against her neck.

"After I had the night terrors. The first night in here," She said, whining softly at his teeth against her skin. His actions were much more aggressive, almost harsh but in the most pleasurable way, "I went out and he was so... angry," She continued, letting her hand slide up into his hair. Her fingers running through his locks as he paused his kisses. His tongue running across the skin he had bitten and sucked, the bruises already forming, "We trained as we always do but he was so determined to beat me. He was angry. He wasn't controlling his punches properly and then he hit me and it hurt. It wasn't like he wanted to practice... it was like he wanted to hurt me." She stopped for a moment when she felt his hands underneath her blouse, gently pulling it up. She lifted her arms and he pulled it over her head. Her torso exposed to him and he ran his fingers along her sides before he looked into her eyes.

"Why would he want to hurt you?" Aleksander asked before he dipped his head down again. His lips attaching to the scar on her left collarbone. A soft gasp left her lips as he slowly kissed along it. His arms keeping her pressed against him.

"Because you let me defy you," Liliya gasped as she felt him nip her skin again. Her fingers clenching, digging into his arms at the unexpected pressure, "Because you enjoy my company. I don't know. He would just rather me be dead so he could have the attention of his General back," Liliya spat. Finding herself becoming frustrated as she gently pushed away from Kirigan. He lifted his head and stared up at her, raising an eyebrow.

"Do you think I only pay attention to you?" He asked, tilting his head slightly. Liliya quickly began to shake her head, pushing her fingers through her hair. She then moved off his lap and felt like she had often-stepped. This whole relationship was over-stepping. She knew that. Maybe Ivan was right to want her gone.

"No. I just, we are sleeping together and you let me defy you. He sees that as you caring more for me so he has lied to you or told you things that you didn't need to know," Liliya tried to explain but suddenly felt like words were failing her. She felt like a teenager being so unsure of a relationship... partnership but this was her General. Kirigan was her General and living in the bliss of his touch and kisses would only last for so long.

Kirigan then moved to stand up and he grabbed her blouse, holding it out to her. He glanced at the door for a moment before he looked to her.

"Would you prefer to have your own room again?" He questioned and Liliya stared at him. Her eyes portrayed her uncertainty. She felt like she had no idea what he was asking so she just stood there, dumbstruck and dumbfounded, "I will have the servants take your clothes back for tonight," He decided as he walked towards the door. Liliya stared at him and then rushed over, she grabbed his hand and pulled him back.

"Aleksander. I did not mean to accuse Ivan of anythin-" Liliya began but Kirigan pulled his hand away and cut her off. It was not a harsh gesture by any means. It was a simple movement and it said so much yet so little.

"Ivan is my closest adviser. I trust him not to allow petty rivalries to get in the way of his job," Kirigan said and it seemed like he was going to say more. There was certainly more that he was going to say. She could feel it but the words went unspoken. He never accused her of allowing rivalries to get in the way, he never said a word but it still felt like he did, "You will be staying at the Little Palace until the boy is found. You will be assisting Botkin again. If your reckless behaviour begins again, I will strip you of your rank. Is that understood?" He asked. Liliya nodded her head and turned away, she grabbed her boots. She slid them on and watched him walk away.

The guilt twisted her guts as she stared at the wall. It felt stupid to have said anything and she wanted nothing more than to cry. She had faced death twice in two weeks and survived, practically unscathed. But having Kirigan push her out still felt more painful than anything she had ever experienced.

She wondered if this is what the other girls felt like and she knew it was only a matter of time. Accusing or even implying Ivan had done anything to her, questioned his motives would have ended badly. Kirigan wanted to know and he didn't like what he heard and now she was paying the price. Paying the price and Ivan was winning. Kirigan had heard what he said and believed him because Ivan was his trusted ally and she was an Inferni, the girl who he was sleeping with. She was nothing to him and she felt like a fool for thinking she had been anything.

Grabbing her kefta, she walked past the war room. Her head tilted down as she rushed through the short cut up the stairs. She stalked across the hallway and found her room, stepping inside. The door slammed shut behind her and she leant back against it. Her hands shaking. Her heart hurt. Her gut twisting in guilt, anxiety. Berating herself for her own idiocy.

***

author's note! hahahahahaha.... YEAH I DIDNT EXPECT THE ENDING EITHER OKAY? I WAS WRITING IT AND WAS JUST LIKE 'okay...' 'uhh....' and then finally 'OH THIS IS WHATS HAPPENING, OKAY' and this came out, it's like my longest chapter yet, it's a mess but its SO FUCKING IMPORTANT for everything that's gonna happen, like IT ALL IS IMPORTANT, it's sad, it HURTS MY FUCKING SOUL but it's gonna be okay, THIS IS ALSO THE MIDPOINT! like hit midpoint of the novel, so, there will probably be 13 more chapters? maybe more, maybe less, depends on how much i end up writing for upcoming scenes but yeah! this is the midpoint or should be around the midpoint! i hope you enjoyed, please don't hate me, love y'all <3