CHAPTER SIXTEEN

The room was dark and Liliya and Aleksander were asleep. The redhead was lying on her side. Aleksander lying face down. They - for once - refrained from cuddling. Liliya didn't want to wake him with her eventual nightmares or crying. He deserved sleep. He needed decent sleep and she knew that sleeping next to him meant he wouldn't be getting it. Liliya didn't know how else to do it so she had stayed there.

But like the past night, she woke up halfway through the night. Her eyes shooting open as a sob escaped her lips. Her hand moved to cover her mouth as a few more sobs escaped her lips. She couldn't control the tears that flowed down her cheeks. Her head lifted and she gently pushed the covers back. Her body shaking as she climbed out of bed.

Her feet padded against the wooden floor as she got to the bathroom. The room was gloomy but she knew her way around it. Her hand reaching for the door handle and she gently pushed it open. Her sleep-addled mind just wanted her to get in the bathroom to deal with the tears before Aleksander saw but she didn't bother to check if he'd woken up or not.

Part of her didn't care and she just needed to mop up the tears. Her hands reaching out for the towel and pushing it against her face. It smelt like lavendar which helped her calm down. She forced herself to take long slow breaths, breathing deeply. Her hands were still shaking and the images from her nightmare plagued her but she calmed.

Then she felt a hand on her waist and they tugged. Liliya stumbled around and pulled the cloth away to look up. Aleksander stood there. His face clouded in shadow due to the gloomy room but she knew it was him. His hand reached out to cup her face and he gently brushed some of the tears away. It looked like he was frowning but Liliya couldn't be sure.

"What happened?" He asked as he looked into her eyes. Liliya sighed and dropped the cloth on the sink before she wrapped her arms around his torso. Her face buried in his chest and she just listened to his heart beat for a moment, "Milaya," He added. A prompt to get her to explain but Liliya suddenly didn't feel like explaining at all. She didn't want to say anything but she had to.

"A nightmare, again," She mumbled before she pulled away from him. She wiped under her eyes again, sniffling before she walked past Aleksander back into the bedroom. He followed behind her and Liliya reached out to grab her flint and steel. With a flick of her hand, the candles in the room had been relit and she sat down on the bed.

The puffy redness of her face was now clear to him and he watched for a moment before he moved to sit down on the bed. His back resting against the headboard and he opened his legs which Liliya quickly found herself sat between. Her back pressed against his front and she intertwined their fingers on her lap once they had pulled the covers over them both.

"Tell me about it," He requested. Liliya turned to look up at him and didn't know what to think. She wasn't sure whether she wanted to admit it or not. Admit what she had seen. If she said it, it would confirm that the nightmares were back and she didn't want them back. She wanted them gone but they never disappeared.

Liliya sighed before she began, "I was in a room. Like always. Just a dark confined room but I wasn't alone this time. Daish was there. His b..." Liliya trailed off. She shook her head and pushed herself away from Aleksander. She didn't want to talk about this. Daish was alive. Daish was safe and alive with Lord Yanovich. He wasn't dead. Not like the dream said he was. She couldn't think about this. Not again. It was exhausting.

But she didn't get far off the bed before Aleksander had pulled her back. His arms wrapped tightly around her waist, keeping her against him. Liliya struggled against him before she gave in and moved her gaze to his face. He looked calm but there was something.

"Tell me what happened," Aleksander repeated with a much more stern tone. A soft huff escaped her lips but she gave in to him. Her face half-buried in his bare-chest as she wrapped her arms around him again. The warmth of his body giving her some comfort as she tried to push the image of Daish as far out of her head as she could get it.

"He was dead. Daish's throat was slit and I tried to save him. I really tried but I couldn't. The blood covered my hands and I didn't know what to do. I tried to save him, to help him but nothing worked and he was just dead. He decayed in front of me," Liliya explained, her voice wobbling before she took a long deep breath. Her hands pressed against his chest before she pushed back. Blinking back tears as she did her best to stay composed. Her head was spinning and she felt awful. She wanted nothing but to protect Daish.

"What do you remember about Daish?" Aleksander asked, a cautious edge to his tone. Not something that Liliya had ever heard him use before. Her eyebrows pulled together and she shrugged, brushing the tears from her cheeks.

"Just that we sent him to Lord Yanovich. We protected him from the Shu," Liliya explained, gesturing vaguely. Aleksander nodded and held his hands out, cupping her face with them. He pressed a soft but long kiss to her lips before he pulled her against him. Liliya buried her face in his neck and nuzzled her face into the crook. His presence gave her so much comfort.

"You need to sleep, milaya," He whispered in her ear. Liliya groaned softly and shook her head. She kept her eyes closed and her face buried, not allowing him to move. He didn't say a word and just allowed her to stay like that for as long as she needed. Eventually, Liliya pulled back and she fell back onto the bed. Her arms resting over her face as she let out a long breath of air.

"I should write to Lord Yanovich. Ask about Daish. I need to know he's okay," Liliya said, quietening her voice slightly. Aleksander watched her and watched as her arm shifted off her face. Her blue eyes staring up at the ceiling and he could see the cogs working in her brain. She was already formulating a letter to the Lord.

"I will write a letter. If the letter is intercepted, Isaak will likely hurt Lord Yanovich," Aleksander responded. His words were serious and she knew that she had no way to argue with him. Liliya nodded and then sat up. She shifted off the bed and padded across the room, blowing out the candles. She usually didn't do it like this but she wanted to move about. She knew she wouldn't be able to sleep so she was stalling for time.

"What if I wanted to visit Daish? Would I be able to? Provided you accompanied me?" Liliya asked as she blew out another candle. The light in the room slowly dimming before it was gone completely. It left them in gloomy moonlight from the half-open curtains. Liliya walked over to the window and leant against it, opening the window so she could lean out.

"That is entirely dependent on what Lord Yanovich decides. If he does not want you to return to the Manor, we have no right to trespass," Aleksander said. Liliya nodded and let the breeze pass over her face, taking in the cool night air. The room was stuffier than she had expected it to be but she didn't really mind. She had grown used to the warmth.

"I don't see why he wouldn't allow me," Liliya shrugged. Aleksander watched her for a moment before he looked away. His hand pushed through his hair and he moved under the bed sheets again. His hand pulled the other side open so she could get in.

"Come on, milaya. You need to sleep," Aleksander coaxed. The redhead turned her head to him and pouted before she gave in. She walked over and slid under the covers. He brought her body closer and the two cuddled up. Her head rested against his chest, arms resting across his torso. His back was pressed against the sheets, his gaze fixed on the ceiling as his right arm wrapped around her.

"I love you," Liliya mumbled before she let her eyes close. Her head stayed rested and she tried her best to fall back into sleep but it only seemed to get harder the more she tried.

***

The black-haired girl was already in the training room and sweaty when Liliya walked in. Her hair tied loosely up and the exhaustion was evident in the sluggish way she began to walk once the door was closed. Alina frowned and watched as Liliya pulled her kefta off. She looked worse than she ever had before. Alina opened her mouth to ask but Liliya moved over first.

The redhead threw a punch and Alina barely ducked under it. It had threw her off guard but soon they both got a hang of it. The fighting gave Liliya the adrenaline boost that she needed to wake her up after the groggy morning that she had had. The punches and kicks that they threw out waking them both up. The pain was surprising but Liliya welcomed it. It reminded her that she was still alive.

Alina threw Liliya off-guard with a particularly harsh punch and then kick to the stomach. The redhead stumbled back and barely kept her footing but came back stronger. A combination of punches and her shadow summoning meant that she had Alina under her quickly.

The black-haired girl panting as she let her head rest against the floor. Liliya grinned, panting as well. Her jaw ached from Alina's punches but it was nothing that she hadn't expected. Her hands keeping Alina's pinned above her head as the two recovered. Liliya was waiting for the girl to give in and yield but there was nothing. It seemed Alina was going to be stubborn.

So, Liliya tried to play dirty. She dipped her head down so her lips were by Alina's ears. A smirk spreading across her face, "Come on, printsessa. You're not going to beat me," Liliya whispered. Alina gritted her teeth and turned her head away. This made the redhead chuckle and press a soft kiss to the skin of her jaw. With the soft kisses, Alina quickly caved in.

"You win," Alina mumbled. Liliya grinned and trailed the kisses down the column of Alina's throat before sitting up. She moved off the black-haired girl and held her hand out which Alina took gratefully. Liliya hauled her up and Alina stumbled slightly. Liliya kept her stable but it only made the redhead grin more widely.

"Falling for me? That's cute," Liliya joked. Alina's cheeks flushed and Liliya smirked. She let go of Alina and the two began to train again. Throwing punches and the session continued until Liliya grew too exhausted. They walked out to sit on the pier while the other Grisha still trained with Botkin. The lake was quiet but they could see the younger, much younger Grisha in the school across the lake. Liliya admired their innocence.

Alina's back was pressed against the post of the pier as she stared at Liliya. The redhead's feet were in the water, taking in the cool air. It was colder, much colder. Winter had practically arrived but Liliya still loved the feeling of the cold lake. She was always warm so it kept her cool on her training days.

"Does Aleksander not disapprove of you kissing me?" Alina asked. It threw Liliya completely off guard and she stopped her feet from moving in the lake. Her head turned and she watched Alina's face, trying to decipher what she wanted to hear. What Alina wanted Liliya to say. Liliya wanted to appease the girl after all. It was the best way to gain her trust.

"No. He quite likes the idea of you. Of... us," Liliya shrugged. Alina's eyebrows furrowed and Liliya smiled in response, trying to reassure Alina that it was something normal, "People do it all the time. It's not something dirty. It's quite lovely," Liliya added as she moved her gaze back to the freezing cold blue water of the lake. The air smelt like pine and crisp cold. That's the best way that Liliya had found to describe it. It smelled cold. It was hard to describe the crispness that invaded her senses whenever she was out in the winter air so she always said it was just cold. It didn't make sense but it did to her and that's all that mattered.

"Are you married?" Alina asked breaking the redhead from her drifting thoughts. It was another question she had not expected. Nobody had questioned the rings or asked her. Well, Genya had but that was to be expected. Nobody else had said anything, half the time Liliya forgot it was not a well-known fact.

"Yes. Aleksander is... not exactly the type so we had a quaint ceremony in the summer. Away from Os Alta and people. Just him and I," Liliya explained as she lifted her feet from the water. She stood up and grabbed her boots and walked over to Alina. The redhead then sat down across from Alina and stared for a moment, "Does that bother you?" She asked curiously.

Alina shook her head and glanced down at the ring of Liliya's finger. Liliya smiled and stared at it for a moment before she focused back on Alina, "Does he help you sleep?" Alina asked. Liliya paused for a moment, her mouth hung open. It seemed strange for Alina to ask that question. Sleep had never been a topic they had discussed. It was barely mentioned. Only the odd check-up to ensure that Alina felt better. Liliya believed that she had done well to hide her exhaustion. Maybe not.

"He doesn't need to," Liliya said carefully. Her words were confident but Alina seemed to see right through it. Liliya fiddled with the ring for a moment before she nodded head, "Yes, he can. Nightmares are not something anybody would enjoy. He makes it easier," She gave in. Alina frowned but Liliya could see something beneath that. Liliya had a feeling that Alina was glad he helped with nightmares. Liliya wouldn't be surprised to discover that Alina had some nightmares of her own.

"Do you want to go back to my room?" Alina asked. Liliya glanced around the lake for a moment before she nodded. There was no harm in spending some alone time with Alina. The pair were quiet as they walked through the woods back into the Little Palace. The corridors were busy with Grisha as they usually were at this time but nobody looked at them twice.

It wasn't unusual to see them together and the added intimidation of Liliya's black kefta kept people away. Liliya wanted Alina to wear her black kefta but she had denied that offer when she came. It was frustrating but understandable. Liliya was sure that she would be more inclined now. Alina was one of them.

The door opened and the two walked in. Alina fell against her bed and Liliya hovered, strolling around. Her fingers glided over the various objects in the room. Most of them were objects that were found in the Little Palace otherwise but there seemed to be a few trinkets and different things. Liliya wasn't sure where she had gotten them from but one of them stuck out. A book, Istorii Sankt'ya. The Lives of the Saints. That was a dangerous book for her to own so Liliya found herself sliding it into the drawer, out of sight for now. Liliya didn't know how Alina had even got her hands on it.

"Come and lie down with me," Alina requested. Liliya turned on her and looked at the black-haired girl before she gave in. Liliya sat down on the bed, settling back. Her head rested in the pillows and her hands on her stomach as she stared at the ceiling. She felt Alina shift and when she glanced to the side, Alina was on her side looking at Liliya, "You're beautiful," The girl added. Liliya smiled and turned onto her side.

"As are you, printsessa," Liliya responded, her smile turning to a smirk as Alina's cheeks turned a soft hue of red. Liliya's hand moved to cup Alina's cheek, rubbing her thumb along the skin before she simply let it rest there. Alina leaned into the redhead's touch slightly which only made Liliya smile wider.

"Would you like to stay here and sleep? I want to nap," Alina admitted, a slightly cheeky smile on her face. Liliya chuckled. She wasn't surprised that Alina had brought her here for that purpose. Considering their topic of conversation, it wasn't surprising at all. So Liliya nodded. Her smile widened as Alina shuffled them until they were both under the covers. Alina snuggled closer and Liliya wrapped her arms around the younger girl. Liliya preferred being the big spoon anyway.

"Goodnight," Liliya mumbled. Alina said the same few words and they both let their eyes close. Alina seemed to be taken by sleep quickly but Liliya wasn't. No matter what she tried, it was impossible. Even the comforting presence of Alina didn't stop her mind from whirring. All she could think about was Isaak and Daish and killing. The blood on her hands and how much she missed the simplicity of life before Isaak came back like a hurricane determined to destroy her existence.

Everything was so simple before but it was better now.

***

author's note! so we got something big hinted at in this chapter tho it's very subtle so idk if anyone will actually notice it and it's more how someone is acting and what that means but anyway, yeah, we got a little more just fun stuff with my babies, next chapter we're gonna have genya make her appearance again!! and we're also slowly climbing closer to the end of this story which is scary but also kinda fun, i'm hoping to be more consistent with updates too so for now i hope you enjoyed! thank you for reading! <3