CHAPTER SEVENTEEN

When Liliya finally found Genya, it took a while to finally drag her back to the hideout. Genya had been avoiding her which Liliya understood but she wanted to fix this. It was stupid and she loved Genya. Friend or otherwise. She loved her. Genya knew that and she loved her back. Genya just didn't know how to express it without letting her old feelings crawl back.

The door closed gently behind them and Liliya strolled over to the armchair before placing herself down. Her smile widened as she looked over at Genya. The redhead seemed unsure but tried her best to look relaxed. It was strange. Genya wasn't one to be uncomfortable. Liliya waited for a moment longer before she stood up and took Genya's hands.

"Don't look so apprehensive. I just missed talking to you," Liliya admitted softly as she pulled Genya further into the room. A smile spread across the younger girl's lips and she squeezed Liliya's hands before she pulled back.

"I missed talking to you as well," Genya admitted. Liliya grinned wider and turned on her heel. She moved to the armchair again and fell onto it. Her legs over one arm while her back pressed against the other arm of the chair. Genya looked at her for a moment before she moved onto the bed where Liliya could see her.

"I'm glad the feeling's mutual," Liliya mumbled before she pulled the pillow onto her lap. Her eyes fell closed as she buried her face in the pillow. Genya watched her for a minute and the smile only widened before she moved to pull her boots off.

"But I've heard plenty about you from Alina," Genya shrugged as she discarded the boots under the bed. She then crawled the rest of the way onto the bed and lay on her back. Her hands rested against her chest as she stared up at the ceiling.

"Oh? What has she said about me?" Liliya asked curiously as she moved off the armchair. She wanted to be close to Genya. After so long without seeing her, it only made Liliya feel more disconnected. She used her toes to push her boots off before she collapsed next to Genya. A smile appeared on her lips as she turned to face the other girl.

"The usual. You're amazing and sweet and powerful. She made a comment about your arse the other day," Genya chuckled. The amused look spreading across her face at the memory. Liliya rolled her eyes but found herself smiling even wider. She couldn't help it. Their plan was working which was exactly what she wanted.

"She's bold," Liliya commented. Genya shrugged and rolled onto her side so she was facing Liliya. The two stared at each other, looking into each other's eyes. It had been so long since they had been this close. It was strange to be like this again but Liliya wanted it. She had missed Genya's smile and presence.

"Only when she's comfortable," Genya informed. Liliya nodded in agreement and moved her hand to be a little closer to Genya's. The redhead seemed to want to move her hand but she stayed still for a moment.

"I suppose that's true," Liliya shrugged, letting her hand pull back. She took a deep breath and decided that she might as well bite the bullet, "Are you comfortable? Around me?" Liliya asked. She did want to know and the whole situation did make her worried that Genya wasn't comfortable any more but it seemed okay. Liliya just needed confirmation. If Genya went against her and Aleksander, everything could go wrong.

"Of course I am," Genya reassured as she pushed her hand closer to Liliya's. The redhead grinned and took a hold of Genya's hand, intertwining their fingers. The two stayed there for a moment before Liliya decided to speak up.

"Good because I don't want you to avoid me. I miss talking to you. This past year has been odd. I can't lose you too," Liliya admitted. It felt like lying. The guilt twisted in her stomach but she knew it was at least partially true. She loved Genya and she cared for Genya and she didn't want to lose the girl but she had to do whatever she could to gain power. The Grisha had been oppressed and discriminated against for far too long. Someone had to take the lead and Aleksander was doing that. She knew it was for the best.

"You're the one who decided to get married to the General," Genya smiled as she moved to lie on her back again. Liliya shuffled closer so they could still hold hands. She rolled her eyes at Genya's words but found herself smiling. The ring on her finger reminded her of that decision and it was one of the best decisions of her life.

"That had nothing to do with why it was so hectic," Liliya argued. She was tempted to say more but she knew it was better to stay quiet. She had to be careful what she revealed to Genya now. Everything was so unsure. Anything could cause this to go wrong and Liliya couldn't have Genya be the one to make that happen.

"He did plan it for weeks," Genya mumbled. A piece of information that Aleksander had failed to ever mention.

"What?" Liliya asked. Genya grinned and turned her head to face Liliya again. Their gazes meeting. Brown clashing with blue as she looked on, completely incredulous.

"Yeah," Genya confirmed, nodding her head. Liliya shook her head and then moved to lie on her back. Her hand still intertwined with Genya's. She wanted the touch, that connection between the two of them.

"Speaking of weddings, what is going on with you and David?" Liliya asked, drawing the topic away. Genya then used her hands to sit up. Her back smacked against the headboard as she stared. Liliya smirked and rolled over onto her stomach, looking up.

"There's nothing going on between me and David," Genya said sternly. The older woman cocked an eyebrow. They both knew that was a lie. David was the one for Genya even if she liked to pretend that it wasn't the truth.

"I saw the way you fawned over him. Just speak to him," Liliya said, shaking her head. She then moved to sit on her knees as she tilted her head. Genya was ridiculous. This back and forth between Genya and David had been going on for years and yet the younger woman did nothing despite many attempts from Liliya.

"He's very busy," Genya placated as she watched Liliya move off the bed. The woman threw her hands up in the air before she picked up a leftover bag from the dresser. She wafted it around as she swirled on her heel.

"I know and so are you, but you should still speak to him. I'll go and speak to him," Liliya said as she pointed the bag at Genya before she headed towards the door. But Genya scrambled off the bed and grabbed Liliya's arm, pulling her back.

"If you go, I'll ruin your skin," Genya threatened as she met Liliya's gaze. The redhead shook her head and turned to face Genya, throwing the bag back to the dresser from where she stood. It was strange how unsure and worried that Genya was. This was not how she acted with others. Just David.

"You haven't touched it in weeks," Liliya retorted. If this didn't go anywhere, she knew that she could still go. Genya never held a grudge for long and she needed to speak to David. It was getting exhausting watching them from afar.

"But I could still ruin it when you least expect it. When you ask for my help," Genya said. The threat suddenly seemed much more real so Liliya shook her head and gave up. Maybe not now but later, Liliya would get them to talk, at least.

"You're a sneaky girl, Gen," Liliya mumbled before she walked past and back onto the bed. Her back collided with the mattress as she let out a soft huff

"Thank you," Genya smiled. She then followed after Liliya and sat down on the edge of the bed. Her hands rested against the mattress and she leant back on them. Her eyes fell closed and she let the silence invade the space. All either of them could hear was the soft breathing of the other before Liliya decided to speak up.

"You and David would be cute," Liliya said before she sat up and gently nudged Genya, "Talk. To. Him. Before I do or Alina does," She finished. A teasing smile spread across her face at her words and Genya leant over and pushed her back onto the bed. Liliya couldn't help but laugh, her smile widened as she lay back on the bed.

"I hate you," Genya mumbled as she sat back on her heels. Liliya turned her head, her red locks falling across her face.

"No, you definitely love me," She responded simply. Genya sighed and then fell back on her back. The two women's heads right next to each other as they stared at the ceiling.

"Who's the arrogant one?" Genya mumbled.

Liliya rolled her eyes before responding, "Still you." Her words held an amused tone behind them and she could feel herself smiling wider. It felt nice to be around Genya even with the lying that was constant, it was okay. Genya didn't hate her and that was better than nothing.

***

It was late and Liliya decided to take a bath. She wasn't sure where Aleksander was but she didn't entirely care. The bath was supposed to relax her and she was using it as a distraction from sleep. She didn't want to sleep. The nightmares were back and they plagued her. She didn't want to knowingly put herself through that again. Aleksander would ensure she slept with or without her nightmares. He knew she needed it.

His protectiveness over her had only increased since they married. He vowed to protect her but it was strange. Strange that he followed through and strange that he promised it at all. Many of the vows he made were strange to her. She had never seen Aleksander as the type to settle down or promise anything to anyone. Especially not another Grisha. Power was one of the main things that Aleksander cared about and if someone threatened that, they'd be dead. Liliya wondered if the same applied to her, not that she planned to threaten his power. It was just a thought. Something that had been playing on her mind for days, weeks.

But that didn't matter. He had made a vow to her and she knew that he would protect her with his life. It made her feel safe. Even in a world that hated her and wanted her dead, he kept her safe and she knew that he would always keep her safe from outside threats.

***

The sun was bright as Liliya sat in the tent. Her fingers tapped against the edge of the table as she waited for the Grisha to finish with her hair. The redhead hadn't bothered to learn her name. She didn't care. Her stomach was twisting with too much anxiety for her to even comprehend what was going on around her. She wasn't entirely sure when she had put the dress on or who had done her face up.

It must have been Genya but it had been a blur. Now as she sat with her hair done, she finally came back to reality. The tears pricking her eyes and she felt the lump rise in her throat. It was actually happening. No part of her regretted this decision but it was still so jarring. She adored Aleksander, she loved him but he had always been so reluctant to share his love.

The fact he had brought this up at all had thrown her completely but she felt lucky. She felt so happy and somehow that made her cry. It was confusing and she felt almost disorientated from the flood of emotions. The edges of her fingers pressed against her waterline as she tried to stop the tears from falling.

"Leave us," The voice of Aleksander startled Liliya from her tsunami of emotions. Her head whipped to see him and he looked so handsome. His usual kefta for the summer months had been replaced with a formal version. She had seen it on him during the Ball she had attended as Lisenka. It was so different seeing it now. It made her want to cry more. Her eyes had already turned bloodshot and she was close to sobbing.

"This is actually happening," She chuckled through her tears, attempting to lighten the mood. Aleksander smiled widely at her and walked over, holding his hand out to her. She took it gently and the two of them just stood, looking at each other. Admiring the other.

Her red hair had been put up in a rather elaborate up-do. Her red hair was almost messy in the way it had been tied behind her hair but it was the type of messy that looked perfect. Two strands had been pulled from the up-do to frame her face. But her dress also looked wonderful. It was a deep red colour and made of silk. Fabrikator-silk so if there happened to be any interruptions during the ceremony, she would be mostly protected.

"You look gorgeous, milaya," He said as he tilted her chin up. She grinned even wider and felt the tear roll down her cheeks. Before she got the chance, he swiped it away with his thumb. He then leant forward and pressed a soft kiss to where the tear had fallen, "I hope these are tears of joy," He mumbled. Liliya nodded.

"They are. I'm just happy and surprised. You look so handsome," She complimented, holding herself back from blurting out too much. They still had the ceremony and whatever plans Aleksander had for the night to come. It would only be a small ceremony but where he had brought them was beautiful.

Just outside the tent, there were large willow trees. Their large drooping branches looked green and gorgeous in the Ravkan summer and Aleksander knew it was the perfect spot. The wedding arch had been decorated with various flora and fauna of all colours and only the most trusted official was there to officiate the ceremony. Only a few Grisha were even aware of the ceremony. Everyone had been sworn to secrecy.

"I have to leave but I will see you out there," He said with a small smile. Liliya nodded her head but before he could leave, she wrapped her arms around his neck. She pulled him as close as she could, hugging him tightly. He held onto her for a moment before pulling away. He knew that he had to leave or the ceremony would be postponed due to his own lack of impulse control around her.

The two parted ways and Liliya ran her hands down her dress. She knew that she would be fine. Everything would be okay but the nerves were still getting to her. It would be fine. Not long now and then it would be official.

***

The redhead wasn't sure when Aleksander had come back but when she came back from her daze of thoughts, he was walking around in the bedroom. Her head tilted to one side and she just listened to see what he was doing. She wasn't entirely sure and she didn't know if she cared. If he wasn't worrying about her, then it would be fine.

He crossed in front of the door again and had his shirt off now. He was getting ready for bed. That was good. It might stop him from questioning her so she allowed herself to sink further under the now cold water. It wasn't the most comfortable but it meant she could avoid sleeping. Avoid the nightmares.

As Aleksander crossed the door again, he saw her. He tilted his head and then disappeared for a moment before he walked right into the bathroom. He looked down at her and she smiled back at him, running her fingers through the water before allowing them to rest.

"Are you coming to bed?" He asked curiously. Liliya shrugged in response, pushing herself to sit up. The top half of her body coming up from under the water. The room was so much warmer than the bath now. Maybe it was time to get out.

"Of course. I'm just relaxing," She responded, lifting her head so she met his gaze. He nodded and stepped towards the sink. He switched the taps on and washed his face, not bothered by her gaze as she played with the water for a little longer.

"Are you avoiding coming to bed?" He asked once he had dried his face with a towel. Liliya's head shot up and she quickly realised that she had been caught out. He had a habit of knowing exactly what was wrong with her. It was quite frustrating really.

"A little," She responded. He walked over and dipped his hand into the water. Cold. He then held his hand out to her, urging her to get out, "I'll get out in a few minutes," She added. Aleksander then grabbed her wrist and pulled her out of the water. She followed along, knowing that it was pointless to resist.

He grabbed the towel and wrapped it around her and she simply allowed him to, lifting her arms when he wrapped it around her. Once he knew the towel was secure, he decided to speak, "If you are avoiding sleeping because of nightmares, I can simply ask Ivan or another to send you into a dreamless sleep." Liliya shook her head and walked past him into the bedroom.

"Even those sleeps are not dream-less. I had plenty of nightmares," She explained as she walked over to her dresser. Aleksander was close behind her but chose to sit on the bed while she changed into her night gown, "I don't like having them, Aleksander. It makes me a burden not just on me but on you and everyone else. My inability to sleep will only make me sloppy in training and affect Alina's ability to learn from me. I will put our plan in jeopardy no matter what I do. Sleep or facing the nightmares, it's the same outcome. So, I'm choosing not to face the nightmares," She finished. Aleksander watched her for a moment and then beckoned her closer once she had her night dress on. Liliya walked over and climbed into his arms.

"When I chose to marry you, I knew what that would entail. I vowed to help you. That's what I will do," He stated. Liliya shrugged in response. There was not much that Aleksander could do that he had not already done a million times. Nothing got rid of them. But she didn't want to argue with him over that. She could pretend to sleep in his arms to please him but still stay awake, avoid the nightmares like the plague. If that's what she had to do.

"Nothing will make them stop," She mumbled before she rolled over. Aleksander watched her and found himself frowning. He shuffled closer and wrapped his arms around her waist. His head rested against her and Liliya snuggled back into him, "Goodnight," She whispered. He mumbled the words into her neck and he quickly found himself falling asleep. Liliya didn't.

***

author's note! it's been a hot second, HELLO EVERYONE, i'm so sorry it took so long to get this, i went through some... stuff personally and then i was relaxing after school and everything was sort of chaotic but we're here now, i have a plan to actually finish this within the next two weeks which is scary! i'm currently working on the next chapter too so hopefully it won't come as long after this one... (AGAIN IM SO SORRY FOR THE WAIT!!) but yes, here we are, we got a snippet into the wedding, i don't know how good this chapter is but i just enjoyed writing it and being back with liliya, my love (and kirigan too) so yeah, here it is, feel free to let me know you thoughts and i really hope you enjoyed!! <3333 i appreciate you all so much (and thank you for over a 100k reads... like what the actual fuckkkk)