CHAPTER SEVEN.

Liliya still couldn't sleep. She hadn't spoken to Kirigan since the morning they shared together and the nightmares had only seemed to grow worse. Morphing into much more gruesome images that left her staring up at her ceiling all night. She usually managed a few hours before she gave up but as midnight rolled around, Liliya couldn't stand staring at her ceiling for another night.

So she rolled out of bed and threw her nightdress onto the floor, walking over to the drawer. She grabbed a blouse and some loose fitting pants. The socks and boots were the last thing she grabbed before she headed out of the room. She tugged the boots on as she walked down the corridor, having them on by the time she reached the staircase.

The whole Little Palace was silent. It didn't seem that anyone was awake. Liliya was glad. She hadn't seen Genya in two days and Arina had been avoiding her. Kirigan had been busy. Zoya had returned and Ivan was still beating her up every morning. He still beat her and she was close to singeing his hair before he finally eased up.

The redhead walked towards one of the back-door and pushed it open, slipping out into the cold night air. It bit at her skin despite the warm season but it was refreshing. The fire had been burning in her room and it had only made sleeping difficult. She just hoped that some training before attempting to sleep would exhaust her enough. Stop her from having any more nightmares. They had never been this bad before.

Liliya walked through the training area before slipping into the room she usually went to with Ivan. She grabbed the matches from the closet and lit a few candles, using her abilities to light all the lanterns with a quick movement. The gloom was replaced with soft light as she dragged out the punching bag.

"Liya," The voice of Kirigan made her jump. His figure was shrouded in shadows by the door. The one part of the room that was the least lit. Her head turned and she smiled at him. Somewhere between hesitance and happiness.

"I'm sorry, General Kirigan. Did I disturb you?" Liliya asked quickly. Kirigan shook his head and stepped into the room, closing the door behind him.

"No. I saw you leave the Little Palace. I wanted to ensure you were safe," Kirigan explained. She nodded in response and rolled up the sleeves of her blouse a few times. A short-sleeved shirt may have been a better idea but she couldn't change it now.

"I am. I come here a lot. It's good placed to clear your head," Liliya explained as she moved into position. She then threw her first punch but when her fist collided with the bag, the pain shot up her arm. A cry of pain escaped her lips as she pulled her hand against her chest. Kirigan walked over quickly, the calm on his face was still evident but he reached out for her hand.

"What happened?" He asked as he examined her knuckles in the candlelight. She glanced at the punching bag.

"It was the bag, it felt like it was full of... I don't even know," Liliya muttered as he straightened her fingers out. A soft hiss escaping her lips as he did so. Kirigan frowned and dropped her hand, turning to the punching bag. He pressed his hand against it and sighed, "Someone must have changed it," She added. Kirigan nodded and then pushed it away from her.

"How does your hand feel?" He asked curiously. Liliya shrugged. The pain shot up her arm whenever she stretched her hands out but it subsided after a moment. The knuckles were bruising a little but it would clear up quickly. Especially if she was dragged to the infirmary in the morning.

"Fine. It's fine. I'm just gonna go to the other room and try another punching bag," Liliya said as she stepped away from him. Then Kirigan had a hold of her hand and drew her closer, her hand landing on his chest to keep herself steady.

"No, you will harm your hand," He said. She shook her head in response, pulling her hands from his chest. Letting them rest at her sides as she smiled up at him. One of his hands encircling her waist as he looked into her eyes.

"Kirigan, it is fine. I've fought on worse injuries. It doesn't hurt," She argued with a smile. It was sweet that he cared but she knew it wasn't because he loved her. Some sad part of her knew that it was because he just wanted her to be avaliable if anything went wrong. She was a commodity to him and she just had to accept that, "If it would make you feel better, you could fight me? Then you would know how injured I would get," She added, a hopeful smile on her lips. He looked down at her for a moment, thinking, debating.

"Okay," He decided. She grinned and then took a few steps back. She had never seen anyone go up against Kirigan hand-to-hand. He had used the cut plenty and she had seen him do so multiple times but she had never seen how well he could really fight. She was interested and a small part of her wanted to beat him just to prove her worth.

The two of them stood across from each other once Kirigan had removed his kefta that he was still wearing. Liliya was the first to attack, throwing a punch that Kirigan was quick to knock away. The two quickly falling into the rhythm, trading punches. Neither of them were truly giving it there all but when Kirigan caught himself, he became a little more aggressive.

His punches had more power behind them, his movements becoming more unpredictable and jarring. Liliya tried to keep up but she was exhausted and took multiple hits before she managed to get her first. Her body dodging and weaving out of his way and she managed to shove her elbow into his stomach when he had her in a headlock.

Her hands locking onto the fabric of his shirt and as she bent over, she hauled him over her body onto the floor. Her body toppling on top of his and he was quick to push her off. Pinning her against the floor, his hair falling in front of his eyes as he smirked down at her. Liliya looked up at him, pouting as she struggled against him.

"That was a smart move," He complimented as he adjusted to ensure that her hips were pinned down. Keeping her trapped against the floor. A soft huff escaped her lips as she managed to wiggle her wrists out of his grip. She then brought her hands together and the flames from the lantern arched behind his back. Flames licking at the back of his shirt.

He was only distracted for a moment but that's all she needed to shove him off. Pushing herself to her feet but he was quick to follow. The trade in punches began and she ended up gripping his wrist and bending it behind his back. His knees bending under the pain but he didn't show it. His face scrunching up for a second before she kicked the back of his knees. He fell to the floor and she smirked.

But before she could even comprehend it, the shadows had wrapped around her and threw her against the floor. A groan escaping her lips as he head smacked against the floor.

"Unfair," She muttered as she waved her hands around. The shadows disappearing from around her. Kirigan watched with a curious gaze, his eyebrow raising as he walked over.

"I think I proved my point," Kirigan said as he held a hand out. Liliya huffed but nodded and grabbed a hold of his hand. The touch sent a jolt across her body. It felt like everything began to shake, the image of a door, locked and bolted appearing in her clouded mind. Two dark, shadow-y hands reaching through the bars. It was trying to reach her, "Liya?" He asked. She quickly looked up and sent him a quick smile.

"You did and you certainly tired me out," She said. She just hoped that her smile was genuine, that door was something she never wanted to see again. Yet there it was. Had Kirigan caused it? Her mind was full of questions and none of them could be answered.

"Would you like to come back to my room?" He asked. Liliya thought for a moment, holding onto his hand. She could, she would love to. If it led to something like the other morning, she had no problem with it but he might notice something is wrong. Or worse he wake up because of her nightmares. Neither sounded like a pleasant experience.

"Yeah," She found herself saying despite herself. Her eyes widening at her own words. He chuckled softly at her but then let go of her hand. He picked up his kefta from the floor and slid it back over his shoulder.

"I do not intend to force you," He commented. She nodded and unrolled the sleeves of her blouse.

"I know. I just don't want to wake you up if I get a night terror," She shrugged. He watched her for a moment before he waved his hand and the shadows blew out the lights in the lanterns.

"I'm a heavy sleeper," He said. It was his attempt to soothe her anxieties and it did but at the same time felt oddly dismissive. Liliya nodded and then walked towards the door. Escaping the gloomy room as the two crossed the grounds back to the Little Palace. She allowed him to guide her to his chambers and she wasn't entirely sure what to do once they were in there.

He had already began to undress and change into his night clothes. Liliya didn't have any of her night dresses with her and she found herself hovering awkwardly by the door until he noticed.

"Is something wrong?" He asked, raising an eyebrow at her. She shook her head and fiddled with the sleeve of her blouse before closing the door behind her. She then walked over to the edge of his bed.

"I don't have any of my nightdresses," She explained. Kirigan nodded, a soft 'ah' escaping his lips before he pulled out one of his shirts. It looked nice, far too nice for her but she couldn't say no. She took it from him with tentative fingers before turning her back to him. She pulled her boots off, then her blouse before lastly her pants.

Little did she know that Kirigan had been watching her the whole time, his night clothes on. Just a simple set of pants. He didn't deem much else necessary. She pulled his shirt over her head and she was sure it was the softest matieral she had ever felt. It also smelt just like him, her grin widening imperceptibly.

"Come," He said as he pulled the covers back. Liliya turned around and smiled at him. Following after and sliding under the covers with him. There was some space between them as Kirigan lay. His hands on his stomach and his gaze on the ceiling. He seemed almost unsure but Liliya shuffled closer. She moved onto her side and wrapped her arms around him.

"You can relax," She muttered. He nodded and then turned onto his side to look down at her. Her arms adjusting with his position, "Have you ever cuddled?" Liliya asked, raising an eyebrow. A smirk on her lips. He opened his mouth but didn't reply. Instead, he pulled her face closer and pressed a soft kiss to her lips.

She chuckled softly and then buried her face under his chin. Her arms moving to wrap a little tighter around him, "See, easy," She muttered as he moved his arms around her waist, "I can't breathe, one minute," She mumbled. He chuckled softly and allowed her to move. Her back being pressed against his chest. Then she grabbed one of his hands and wrapped it around her stomach. His other hand sliding under the pillow, adjusting until he was comfortable. Liliya then let her hands rest in front of her, closing her eyes.

Kirigan watched her for a moment before he rested his head against the back of hers, pressing a gentle kiss to the back of her head.

"You need to go to the Infirmary in the morning," He mumbled in her ear before he rested back. A soft groan escaped her lips but she nodded. Allowing herself to just relax, trying to clear her mind. Taking long, slow breaths to get the thoughts out of her cluttered mind. Eventually, between the warmth of his body and her own breathing exercises, she slipped into a blissful sleep.

But it didn't last long. Her eyes opening and it only felt like a second since she'd fallen asleep. Kirigan's body was still pressed against her. But they had both moved. She was on her back, one arm resting on the pillows above her head. The other was resting against Kirigan. His head was against her chest, one hand under her body and the other one her stomach. His body pushed underneath her arm.

A soft sigh of relief escaped her lips when she realised he wasn't awake. It seemed that she hadn't screamed that night which was good. But the memories still flooded back, the darkness, the blood, the boy. Everything. It was haunting her and she couldn't escape it. But she tried to distract herself, her fingers pushing through Kirigan's hair.

It was soft to the touch and he seemed to lean into her touch. She didn't know how they'd ended up in this position but assumed that it was mostly due to Kirigan. He seemed to have still been mostly awake while she had fallen asleep. She didn't mind, it was cute and served as a good distraction from the spiral of thoughts in her head.

A tear fell down the side of her face without her even realising but she was quick to blink them back. She tried to move without disturbing him but he had become so close that it was almost impossible. Using the sleeve of the shirt to wipe away the flood of tears that followed. Kirigan would not be able to help, she knew that. She just had to deal with it.

"Liya?" He muttered, having felt her trying to move away from him. Liliya quickly turned her focus back to him.

"I'm okay," She lied, wiping the tears again. She wanted to stop them but it was becoming impossible. They just wouldn't stop despite her blinking and swallowing the lump in her throat. He frowned, he could hear the lie. He opened his eyes. They were black in the gloom and she watched the frown spread, "I'm sorry," She muttered quickly, feeling more tears come. Her body pushing her away from him. Trying to put space between them.

"Lie down," He said simply. She stared at him and shook her head, brushing the tears away. The sob threatening to escape, "Liya," He repeated, his words a little more commanding. Suddenly, she felt like this was General Kirigan again and she complied. Moving to lie down, the space between them was bigger than either of them would have liked, "What do you see?" He asked. Liliya stared at him for a moment, her eyes wide and glassy.

"It's nothing," She muttered, trying her best to dismiss it. She hated putting this on him, anyone really. It was hers to deal with and that had always been her belief. Kirigan simply stared at her, waiting and it wasn't long before she cracked, "The Sun Summoner. I imagine that he is stabbing me all over again. In a dark, dank room. Nobody is there. I'm alone and bleeding out on the floor as he just watches. But it's not... it's not the boy. I don't know who it is," She muttered. Trying to explain it but be vague. A white lie escaping her lips. She knew exactly who the face of the boy was but Kirigan couldn't know. Nobody could.

"Is it the same every time?" He asked. She shrugged in response and allowed herself to move closer. A few tears still falling down her cheeks. She then wiped her eyes again, a soft sigh escaping.

"It depends. Sometimes it's worse, sometimes it's better. It depends," She shrugged, dismissing it a little. Kirigan sighed and wrapped his arms around her. Intiating the contact and allowing her to move against his chest. His hands wrapping around her and keeping her close as he moved them towards the middle of the bed.

"Can you sleep?" He asked. Liliya nodded. In truth, she knew she would lie awake but she wasn't going to admit it. He was already wildly uncomfortable. She could tell that he was so she decided to spare him from anything else. Lying awake in his arms would be better than lying awake alone in her own bed.

He let his eyes close when he saw her nod, allowing himself to relax. He felt her pull her arms against her body, curling into a ball. Rather than looking, he just allowed her to get comfortable. Sleep lulling him in once again. Liliya wasn't so easily asleep.

Instead, she found herself staring up at him. Admiring his sleeping figure. The peace on his face, his hair. Everything that she could see. It helped calm her down but she didn't sleep. She couldn't sleep. So when the time came, she slipped out from his arms. He felt her leave but he didn't say anything. He just lay there, listening to her.

She tried to be quiet, pulling the shirt over her head and folding it. She placed it on the dresser before reaching for her blouse and pants. Sliding them on as she tried to stifle her yawn. She reached for her boots and that's when he opened his eyes again. He tilted his head as he looked up at her, wondering how long it would take for her to notice that he was there. He was almost disappointed that she walked to the door without acknowledging him.

"Liliya," He said. His voice was raspy and he sounded groggy. The sleepiness to his tone sent a pang of guilt through Liliya. She bit her bottom lip before turning around, smiling down at him. His hair was messy, falling in front of his face perfectly. He looked gorgeous, somehow.

"I didn't want to wake you. I'm sorry. I didn't know, I already woke you u-" She began to ramble but the stare from Kirigan made her stop. A soft smile tugged on her lips and he gestured for her to come closer. He then moved to sit up and she knelt down on the edge of the bed.

"Come back tonight and go to the Infirmary," He whispered in her ear. A soft smile spread across her face and she nodded before leaning in and kissing him. He wrapped his arms around her, pulling her closer to him. Kissing her passionately, his tongue exploring her mouth as she moved into a more comfortable position. He pulled away when they were both breathless.

"I will," She promised before pressing a kiss to his lips. She then moved off the bed and straightened her blouse. She felt strange. This whole situation felt strange. She had slept in the same bed as him. He had helped comfort her after a nightmare and he was making out with her. It felt like more than just a one-off but she couldn't allow herself to believe that. Kirigan would move on to some other girl. He always did. It was in his nature.

So, she arrived in her room and switched into a fresh set of clothes before heading out. Taking her usual route, running around the palace grounds, helping at the kitchen and then training with Ivan. Except, she kept her promise to Kirigan and went to the Infirmary before she trained with Ivan. It was pointless but it meant she was able to beat Ivan that day for the first time in at least a week. It felt good to for once be victorious and he seemed frustrated.

***

author's note! what's this? another chapter? i'm just vibing with this story and it is MY ESCAPISm, also the support has been crazy?? and my motivation really weNT UP so yeah, this is a vERY kirigan and liliya heavy chapter and that's just... kinda how it turned out. but yeah, here it is! some cuddling and me kinda having a soft kirigan without him being uncharacteristically soft, idk if it worked BUT WE MOVE, it's fine, everything is fine, i'm sure it's okay, i'm just so unsure but yeah. i hope you guys enjoyed! and thank you for reading! <3