CHAPTER NINETEEN.

The carriage moved through the Ravkan countryside and all Liliya could think about was the boy. After her night with Aleksander, they had left Yanovich's manor. They were going back to Os Alta. The boy - as Liliya believed it - was dead. There was no Sun Summoner and her actions had ruined everything. Her stomach twisted with anxiety and her thoughts were eating away at her. Her hands hidden beneath the fabric of her kefta.

Aleksander was sat on the other side of the carriage, gazing off. She would do anything to know exactly what he was thinking but she didn't know. She would never know. He had always been so difficult to read so she turned her gaze back to the passing countryside. Her hands pressed together and her fingers picking at her nails.

"I killed the Boy," Liliya said suddenly. Her words breaking the hour long silence between them. Aleksander turned his head to her and he just stared, taking her in. Her bottom lip was bleeding from how much she had bitten it and her leg was twitching, bouncing. She looked like a nervous wreck with light red marks littered across the skin of her neck.

"You were not the one with the gun," He responded. Liliya sighed and pushed her hands down into her lap. Curling her hands into fists, her nails digging into the palms of her hands. Trying to stop her hands from shaking. Everything was hitting her so fast and she had no idea what she was supposed to do.

"I could have saved him. I could have helped him. I'm the reason he is dead. I killed a child, Aleksander..." Liliya trailed off towards the end. Her voice getting quieter as she turned away. The tears filling her eyes as she bit her lip harshly. There was no point in crying for somebody who was already lost but it didn't stop her.

"It was not the Sun Summoner," He responded as he turned his gaze away. Liliya paused and snapped her head towards him. Her nails digging further into her palm.

"What?" She asked quickly. Her heels being pushed into the bottom of the carriage in an attempt to stop her leg from bouncing. It was even getting on her nerves.

"The real Sun Summoner is still out there but he has no made it back to Shu Han. Roma, Lev and Tomas are still hunting him," Aleksander explained. His words were simple but she felt like she had just been thrown into the ice cold waters of the True Sea. If the real Sun Summoner was still alive then who had been killed? Who had been murdered? Her head was swirling with so many thoughts and she had no idea what she was supposed to think.

"Who did I watch die?" Liliya asked. Aleksander turned to her but didn't say a word. It told her everything she needed to know and she felt sick. Her hand banged against the carriage, signalling that she wanted to stop. It came to a halt and she pushed the door open. Nearly falling on her face as she stepped down onto the dirt. Her hands moved to her kefta and she was quick to pull it off, throwing it to one side. She felt suffocated.

"Milaya," Aleksander said as he moved to slide out of the carriage. He glanced back to the driver who looked less than impressed but they stayed silent. Liliya shook her head and waved her hand, keeping him away. Urging him to keep his distance.

"That child... that was an innocent child. A child that... a child that hadn't even hurt me. He wasn't even the child that stabbed me in Os Alta. Who was it!" Liliya shouted. Not expecting herself to be so loud but it spilled from her lips. Kirigan's gaze hardened and he stepped closer to her. She threw her hand out and glared up at him.

"Get back in the carriage, milaya," He said and she shook her head. He stepped closer and she stared up at him. Her hand pulled back towards her. He then reached out for her hip but she pushed his hand away. He sighed and he went to step closer but her hand suddenly collided with his cheek. She hadn't expected it to happen until it was done.

He seemed just as surprised with the movement as she was but he didn't show it. Instead, he just grabbed a tight hold of her arm and shoved her towards the carriage. Struggling against him, she tried to escape but it only made him grip tighter. He pushed her inside and she was forced down. He sat across from her and the door closed. Kirigan banged against the wall and they began to drive again.

Liliya stared down at her hand and felt her gut twisting. Her hands curling into fists as she pulled her knees to her chest. Her arms wrapping tightly around her as she closed her eyes. It took her a few minutes to become truly comfortable, getting used to the bumpiness of the road.

The silence didn't let up until they returned to Os Alta a day later. The sun had just fallen beneath the horizon when Liliya entered her room. The blood had at least been washed off her and she threw her kefta off. Little did she know that Genya was in the bathroom, with a bath already ran for her.

"Liliya?" Genya called as she walked towards the door. The redhead jumped when she heard Genya but rather than just staring, she ran towards Genya. Gripping onto her tightly, squeezing her. Keeping her close as she buried her face in the other woman's shoulder. Genya hesitantly wrapped her arms around Liliya before melting into the tight hug.

"I didn't know you'd be here," Liliya mumbled before she lifted her head and pressed a soft kiss to Genya's forehead, "I'm so glad you are," Liliya muttered as she cupped Genya's face. The redhead leant into Liliya's touch but the confusion was etched across her face, "I don't even know where to start," Liliya said as her hands dropped again. Genya nodded and then moved her arm around Liliya, nudging her towards the bathroom.

"I ran a bath. You can explain afterwards," Genya said. Liliya hesitated but then walked towards the bathroom. She took her boots off and then pulled her shirt over her head. The gunshot wound was gone, something she was glad about, so she tried not to focus on it. Instead, she removed the rest of her clothes and sunk underneath the water.

"I slapped Kirigan..." Liliya admitted as she turned her head to face Genya. She was stood in the doorway and her frown deepened when she heard Liliya's words. Grabbing the stool, she tried to process the information. Once she was back in the bathroom, she placed the stool down and removed her own kefta.

"What happened?" Genya asked as she held her hand out for the sponge and soap. Liliya passed it over and shrugged. Genya had rolled her sleeves up now and was soon enough helping wash Liliya's back. Running the sponge along her skin.

"I've spent the last day sitting in silence as he stared off. A boy was killed and I was angry... and I just did it," Liliya muttered. Not entirely sure how much she wanted Genya to know everything yet. Not quite yet.

"And what else have you been doing with him?" Genya asked, her words were curious but she knew the real reason. Genya wanted to know if they were more than friends. Both of them were aware of their... emotions towards each other. Neither were entirely sure of what they meant to each other but Liliya had missed Genya more than she liked to admit.

"He took me to bed a few times... we rode through the countryside searching for the Sun Summoner who... I don't even know if they exist," Liliya admitted as she sunk further beneath the water. Genya nodded, a small frown spreading across her lips. A twang of jealous appearing in her chest before she continued to rub the sponge along Liliya's back. The sweat, mud and even a few specks of dried blood being washed off into the water. It was soothing.

"What do you mean?" Genya asked, wanting to try and move away from Kirigan. It would likely be impossible since it was always going to be a topic of conversation with the two of them but she wanted to just hear Liliya talk without the jealousy in her heart.

"The Boy who was shot... and who got me shot. It wasn't the Sun Summoner. It was someone else and Kirigan has brought me back here rather than allowing me to search for him," Liliya explained as she lifted her arm. Genya running the sponge along Liliya's sides and down towards the water before washing up the arm.

"Kirigan likes having his things near him," Genya muttered, the hint of bitterness to her tone but Liliya elected to ignore it.

"He wants to teach me how to control the shadows," Liliya muttered. The words were something so nonchalant but Genya nearly dropped the sponge, pausing in her movements. The realisation hit Genya like a train and she pulled back completely. Resting her hands against the edge of the tub.

"You're a Shadow Summoner. Just like him," Genya said and Liliya nodded. She turned around to face the redhead, trying to read Genya's facial expressions. She couldn't tell if she was disgusted or just shocked by the news that her friend was a shadow summoner. It wasn't exactly a good thing. Well, Liliya didn't really know what it meant.

"Gen?" Liliya asked softly, reaching out. Then Genya pushed a smile onto her face and lifted the sponge again.

"Turn," Genya ordered and Liliya breathed out a sigh of relief, twisting back to face forward. Genya going back to work spreading the soap along her arms. Thinking over the new information that she had recieved.

"I didn't know a Grisha could have two abilities," Liliya admitted softly. Genya hummed in agreement and continued with her movements.

"I have two abilities," Genya argued and Liliya paused. She thought for a moment before nodding her head. Feeling the warm water spill down her back as Genya washed the soap and grime off her back.

"They are in the same family of abilities. Mine aren't. Fire and shadows. I wouldn't put them together," Liliya said. Genya merely hummed again in agreement, moving the sponge across her back. The water trickling down until the soap was all gone and Liliya was guided back by Genya who stood up and squeezed the sponge out. Then it was in Liliya's hand and she knew she had to do her chest.

"I suppose not," Genya shrugged as she stood up and walked over to the mirror. She checked herself over, giving Liliya a little bit of privacy. The redhead picked up the soap and then began to rub it across her chest. Using the sponge to rub it in a little more before she then washed it away. Her eyes locked on the ceiling as she let her hand fall back under the water. Sinking further underneath.

"Liliya!" A voice called and Liliya jumped at the sound. Arina. Genya turned her head to Liliya and the redhead huffed.

"Tell her that we can speak later. I'll meet her at the docks after dinner," Liliya said. Genya nodded and then moved out of the bathroom. Liliya could hear the muffle of conversation but didn't pay much attention to it. Her head moving under the water and letting the silence surround her. The whole world was muffled and she was glad for the quiet. The peace until she lifted her head again. Genya stood in the room again and sorting a few stacks of towels together in the corner.

"Arina said she just wanted to make sure you were okay but will meet you," Genya explained. Liliya nodded and then rubbed the water from her skin. Letting the drops trickle from her chin into the tub again.

"I suppose I should get ready for dinner," Liliya muttered and Genya grabbed a towel. Turning around and handing it over to her. Liliya pulled herself from under the water and wrapped the towel tightly around her waist. Now, it was time to face the evening.

***

Dinner hadn't been took as much energy as Liliya had expected it to. Nobody really asked many questions and she was able to get away with being quiet and eating. Making quiet conversations with a few of the Inferni around and when she was done, she managed to escape out to the Lake easily. It was now just a matter of waiting for Arina so they could talk again. It had been so long since they spoke.

"Hey stranger," Arina said as she moved to sit down next to her on the dock. Liliya grinned as she turned her head to face the black-haired tidemaker.

"Hi," Liliya said, letting a small smile spread across her face. It was nice to see Arina again. It made her feel normal. They were - and always will be - just friends and it was a nice break from the feelings she had around Genya and Kirigan. It was exhausting battling within herself but Arina provided a reprieve.

"So, you ran away from Os Alta?" Arina asked, cocking an eyebrow. There was no tact to her questions and it made Liliya chuckle softly. She nodded and leant back on her arms. Her gaze moving up to the sky.

"I wouldn't call it running away. I was tracking the Boy. The one that stabbed me and escaped," Liliya explained as she turned her head to Arina. Their gazes meeting. The blue meeting brown and Arina rolled her eyes, looking away again.

"You always have been such a hero," Arina said. Her words were not filled with malicious but held an airy quality to them. It put Liliya at ease. She was worried what everyone would think. Her running away hadn't exactly been subtle to anyone around her and now she walked past through the Palace gates like nothing had happened at all.

"I was supposed to have gone out weeks ago. I'm Kirigan's best tracker. He was just stubborn so I pushed him a little," Liliya shrugged. Arina chuckled softly, shaking her head. Clearly disapproving of Liliya or her choice of words. Kirigan was never easily pushed or proked or threatened in any direction.

"And now you are back here," Arina argued. The redhead pouted and then leant forward again. Her head resting against Arina's shoulder as her toes dipped into the water of the lake. She had taken her boots and socks off the second she had found her back to the lake. It was always nice to feel the cool water.

"He found me a few days ago. We camped out to track for a few days. Now I'm here," Liliya said, missing out most of the details. Though, she had no doubt that Arina would ask anyway. She liked knowing things.

"What brought you back? Did our General not like sleeping on the forest floor?" She asked, cocking an eyebrow. Liliya snorted at her words and shook her head. If anything, it seemed like Kirigan liked the privacy that the woods and the countryside provided them.

"No. The Boy... or who I thought was the Boy was shot. Then I was shot. Kirigan believes that I'll be safer if we stay here. So, here I am," Liliya muttered. A hint of bitterness to her tone as she stared up at the skies. The starry night was pretty and even with a few clouds blocking the light, it still felt good. Lying under the stars was how she had spent much of the last few weeks. It had been a nice change.

"I don't want to sound like a bastard but why does he care?" Arina asked as she turned her head down to face Liliya. The redhead pulled her knee up to her chest and rested her chin against it. Thinking for a long moment, debating whether to admit it to Arina. It was strange that she hadn't said it before. At least not explicitly.

"He cares for me, Rina. I don't know why, but he does... I think," Liliya muttered. Her words were soft and the vulnerability was evident in her tone. Arina smiled softly and wrapped an arm around her waist.

"I'm glad he's seeing you for who you are but is your gawking going to get worse?" Arina asked, a hint of amusement to her tone. Liliya pouted but then shrugged, leaning back on her hands. Her head tilting back as she put space between her and Arina. The two had been friends for as long as Liliya could remember but she was cautious to tell her about what they had discovered. So she didn't.

"Most likely but Kirigan will be keeping me busy. He always does and if I can convince him to go after that Boy, then it will all work out well," Liliya said before she just let her body hit the wood of the pier. Her hands resting on her stomach as she stared up at the night sky. It was beautiful and the stars twinkled.

"Do you want to go back inside? I, for one, am freezing," Arina said as she pushed herself up. Liliya closed her eyes, thinking for a moment before shaking her head.

"I'm okay. I'll come in soon. Don't go stealing anything," Liliya warned though teasingly. Arina chuckled and nodded, walking away from the pier. Liliya let out a soft breath of air before she let her hands fall over her face. A soft groan escaping as she kicked her legs up. The water splashing along the lakes surface.

Everything about Kirigan was making her worried. She had spoken to Genya and Arina like everything was fine with him. As if everything was going back to normal but there was no way of telling what he'd do or how he was reacting. She had slapped him. Hit him. He had lied to her and she had hit him. She had always gone against him, defied him but never that. Never physically.

It left her gut twisting in anxiety and her mind working over time trying to think of a situation where it went well. Her hands then fell to rest against the wood and she pushed herself up. Her gaze flicked across the treeline before she stood up.

Her feet were wet from the water so she simply picked up her boots and began to walk back towards the Little Palace. The air of elegance was still there as she weaved through the trees, following the winding path. Her head slightly tilted back, feeling the soft evening breeze prickle across her skin.

"Liliya, you've been avoiding me," Ivan caused her to jump. Her head whipping back to see him stood a few steps away. He was still dressed in his kefta and his hands rested at his sides. That conceited look on his face that made her fingers clench.

"I have nothing to say to you, Ivan," Liliya said simply, continuing to walk. Suddenly overly aware of how bare her feet were. If Ivan was going to be really cruel, he could stamp on her toes. It would certainly make her stop and her toes curled at the idea but she pushed it back. Focusing on getting to the Little Palace where he was unlikely to be so brash or cruel. Especially if Kirigan was lingering like he so often seemed to be.

"I know what you are," Ivan said and she paused. Her whole body tensed up and she turned around to look up at him. Her hand lifting and she jabbed a finger against his chest.

"You know nothing," She said, emphasising each word with a jab against him. He then grabbed her wrist, his fingers digging into her skin as he twisted her arm behind her back. Her knees buckled and she cried out, completely under his control. She really needed to learn a way to counter-act that movement but it was something Ivan had always been good and quick at doing.

"I saw you with that Ambassador. The shadows you created. I was the one that told Kirigan. I hoped it would mean he killed you yet here you are. So exactly why does our General like you so much?" He asked as he kicked the back of her knees. She fell to the floor and he let her hands go. Gripping the dirt, she tried to centre herself. She didn't know what would happen if she slapped Ivan though it couldn't be worse than Kirigan.

"Maybe because I'm a stubborn arse," Liliya spat before she pushed herself to stand up. Snatching her boots from the floor. He had knocked them out of her hand and now she was half tempted to smack them around his head, "Or I can give him something you can't," She snapped as she stared up at him. Ivan snorted.

"If you mean taking him to bed, you are not the only one. That didn't stop him from killing them," Ivan said as he stepped back from her. He looked her up and down and she threw a boot at him. It was harsh and aggressive, probably overly so but she was frustrated and he was disgusting.

"I'm a nice break from his conceited arsehole main advisor. Perhaps he enjoys my company or he cares for me or is your General too heartless for that?" Liliya questioned. Ivan glanced around the area before he turned his gaze back on her. He leant closer as if he was about to tell her a secret.

"Our General cares for nobody but his own cause. Wake up and stop playing pretend with him, Liliya. It'll only end in your death," Ivan said, his voice was low and quiet. It was almost like a threat, a warning. She then threw the second boot at him and it landed square in the chest but reflected off and landed on the floor.

"Arsehole," Liliya said before she turned around and walked away. Her movements were quick and she was able to speed-walk away. Ivan watching with his arms crossed over his chest, the anger etched across his features. She definitely didn't want to go near him ever again but she couldn't tell Kirigan. None of this could be told to him. He wouldn't understand.

So Liliya went straight for her room and hoped to, for once, get a good night's sleep in her bed. She just hoped that it was possible.

***

author's note! love that this chapter has basically everyone in it, kirigan, arina, ivan, genya, THE GANG IS ALL HERE and they are not vibing, ivan is being a dick as per... and then just like THINGS HAPPENED AND I DONT KNOW WHAT TO SAY, but here it is, here's the chapter... just like I HOPE YOU LIKED IT, feel free to shout at me in the comments if you are unhappy lmao, i hope you enjoyed <3