UP WITH YOUR TURRET

AREN'T WE JUST TERRIFIED?

I still remember the first time I heard his voice.

I was 7 years old.

I was alone. Sitting in a corner of that cold room.

I hugged my legs and cried.

I cried a lot.

I didn't know where I was.

I had been moved there for a few hours.

The air felt heavy.

I didn't know what those neon lights in front of me were.

And I didn't know what those stains on my hands were, or why they wouldn't come off.

Alone.

I thought that was my destiny. To be locked there in solitude.

But then I heard his voice. A young, somewhat tired voice:

"Hello?"

I froze.

I didn't know whether to answer or stay silent, hoping that whoever was on the other side of the wall would get bored and leave me alone.

But curiosity was stronger.

"Who are you?" I asked, my voice barely a whisper, broken by crying.

"I am Clancy'' he answered after a brief pause. "And you?"

Clancy.

It wasn't a name I had heard before, but there was something reassuring in the way he said it.

I was seven years old, any company that showed up was a joy to me.

So I immediately trusted him.

And my name...

I tried with all my might to remember it.

I couldn't remember it.

Why couldn't I remember it?

The bishops had been calling me a specific name ever since I got there.

"Rabbit..."

"Rabbit... huh?"  His voice was neutral, without any mockery in it. "Nice name."

I wasn't used to being treated well. Ever since I got there, everyone treated me with hostility.

"Why are you talking to me?"  I blurted out suddenly, my voice somewhat defensive.

There was a moment of silence before he answered.

"Because I know what it's like to feel alone in this place."

That answer took me by surprise.

"How long have you been here?"  I asked.

"Too long." His answer was accompanied by a sigh. "But I don't plan on staying. I've escaped three times, and I'm going to try again."

"Three?" The disbelief in my voice was evident. "And do they always catch you?"

"Yes, but I always try again."

There was a defiant tone to his words, as if past failures didn't matter.

As if each attempt only made him more determined.

That phrase stuck in my mind.

Never stop trying.

There was something inspiring about his conviction, even in a place like DEMA, where everything seemed designed to crush the will.

Over time, our conversations became more frequent.

Through the crack of the door, he would tell me stories of the outside world, things I could barely imagine.

He would talk about open skies, the feeling of the wind on his face, and the sound of rain hitting the ground.

I felt like I had witnessed all of those things before, there was something in me that could remember the feeling of some things.

But on the other hand, it was as if those memories had vanished.

And I didn't know why...

I listened in silence, holding on to each word as if it were a treasure.

One night, shortly before he attempted his fourth escape, he made me a promise.

''When I get out, Rabbit, I promise I'll come back for you''

That promise was the only thing that kept me sane for a long time.

I knew the odds were against him, but I wanted to believe him.

I needed to believe him.

The night before he left, he slipped a piece of paper through the crack.

When I opened it, I found a little melody written on it, with simple but powerful words.

It was his way of saying goodbye, and reminding me that I wasn't alone.

Unfortunately, he got caught again. Over and over again.

We both grew up.

And with that, the hope of getting out grew further and further away.