HERE, IN THE DEEP, I HEAR YOUR NAME ALL OVER AGAIN

OH, MY LOVE WHAT DO I DO?

I'M IN THE DEEP AND I DON'T WANT TO LET YOU GO...

What the heck was that?

The laughter has faded, as if the wind had taken it away.

There is only silence now.

My entire body trembles as I slowly stand up.

I need to go back. I can't stay here.

I turn around, my legs still shaking.

I walk towards the cave, my steps quick, but I try not to make a sound.

Every creak of the branches under my feet makes me nervous.

Maybe those red eyes will come back at any moment.

I finally reach the entrance. I let out a sigh before I step inside.

The warmth of the fire still greets me.

The creatures are still sleeping, they are quite cute, really.

I approach him, the Bandito. He is still the same, lying down, although his breathing seems to improve.

I sit next to him and place my hand on his forehead.

The fever has gone down. That is a good thing.

I slowly lift his sweater, not wanting to wake him.

I don't know much about injuries, but I know he's still far from okay.

I lay down and close my eyes, trying to calm down.

My body is tired, my mind is worse.

I can't stop watching those eyes. Those fucking red eyes. 

I try to think of other, better things, but try as I might, I can't find a happy memory in the halls of my head.

I settle down and try to sleep.

Tiredness takes over me and, little by little, I let myself drift off to sleep again.

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The hours pass in a calm I didn't expect.

It's like the fear and tension have vanished for a moment.

Everything is silent. No noise. No eyes in the darkness. Just the soft sound of the fire and the breathing around me.

But then I feel something.

A small movement.

I blink, still half asleep, trying to understand what's happening.

And I notice it.

Something cold, but at the same time warm, touching my shoulder.

It takes a few seconds for my mind to understand, still tangled in the haze of sleep. I turn my head slowly, and I see him.

His eyes are open, barely, he's still very weak.

There's a softness in his gaze that surprises me. There's no trace of the fury and distrust that was in him anymore.

Now it's something calmer, more human.

  "You're awake" my voice raspy, sleepy, as I turn to him completely, incredulous.

He tries to say something. His lips move.

But nothing comes out of his mouth.

His throat seems damaged, and only harsh whispers come out of his mouth.

They are painful to hear.

I can see the frustration in his eyes.

  "Hey..."  I whisper, this time I am the one who puts a hand on his shoulder. "Calm down... You don't have to talk now..."

But he keeps trying.

His chest shakes with each breath, as if he wants to scream what he has inside, but his body doesn't allow it.

Then, tears begin to fall from his eyes, sliding down his cheeks slowly.

They are tears of pain, but also of helplessness, of everything he has been through.

Of everything he has lost.

He remembers it all.

I see it in his gaze, in the way he closes his eyes tightly, as if he wants to erase the images from his mind.

My heart shrinks.

He is not the brave leader that others surely saw in him.

Now he is just a broken boy, one who has seen too much.

I don't think twice.

I lean over and put my arms around him, not saying anything, just going with the impulse to be close, to give him some comfort in the midst of so much pain.

I hug him tightly.

His head rests on my chest, I feel his breathing ragged from crying.

At first, his body tenses, as if he doesn't know how to react. But then, slowly, I feel his muscles relax under my arms.

His tears continue to fall, soaking my hair, but I don't care.

I hold him even tighter, wanting him to feel that he's not alone.

That, despite everything that's happened, there's still someone here.

  "I'm so sorry..." I say, my voice shaking, even though I know I don't need to say more.

My words are barely a whisper, lost in the darkness of the cave.

But he seems to understand.

Maybe he doesn't know everything, but he understands that I'm sorry, that I feel his pain as if it were my own.

His arms finally come up, weakly, but enough to return the hug.

He's clumsy, almost like he can't remember the last time someone hugged him.

Time seems to stop.

The fire from the bonfire crackles softly behind us, and the Neds are still asleep, oblivious to our little bubble of comfort.

I continue to hold him, feeling his breathing become calmer, though his chest still shakes slightly with the last sobs.

There are no words, but we don't need them.

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It's been three days.

Two days since we've been here.

Since we escaped from DEMA.

The creatures, which we've decided to call NED, because that's all they say, have helped us a lot.

They've given us shelter, food, water.

And they've saved his life.

He's visibly better thanks to the care of the creatures, although he was still weak.

He can now sit up, and has taken his first steps, with help of course.

I've made sure to be by his side at all times.

I don't know why, but I feel the need to help him even in the smallest things.

On the night of the third day, when the sky has completely darkened, he sits up, sighs, and says a sentence that surprises me:

''I want to get out of here...''

I look at him, somewhat scared.

He's not in a condition to get out of the cave yet.

He can't even walk on his own, damn it.

''Let me just go to the river '' he begs me  ''I know it's close... I know these places by heart...''

I remain silent for a while, thinking it over.

But in the end I agree.

I help him up, leaning on me. I feel his weight, although now much lighter than the last time I carried him.

Still, his legs are fragile, as if each step were a challenge.

We head outside, where the cold breeze hits our faces. It's raining, it's raining too much.

In the distance, the river continued its silent course, and the stars twinkled timidly in the clear sky.

We walk slowly, until we reach a large tree that stands near the water.

We lean against its rough trunk, both in silence, watching the world move slowly.

The night is quiet, and for a moment I almost forget the chaos we had left behind. Time passes slowly, both of us in silence, watching the full moon, the leaves of the tree sheltering us a little from the rain.

It's a rather relaxing atmosphere.

''Your name''

''What? ''  that question makes me jump in fright, we've been silent for a long time.

''Your name''  he repeats, looking at me ''What's your name?''

I think about it for a moment, the words resisting coming out.

  ''Rabbit... '' I answer, shrugging my shoulders ''My name is Rabbit. They gave me that nickname because of my big teeth'' I smile, showing them ''Although I've already fixed them...''

He lets out a small laugh.

''And your real name?''

My smile fades. I turn my head towards the river.

''I don't remember... ''  I answer, almost in a whisper.

It's the truth. I don't remember my real name. My person before arriving at DEMA doesn't exist, I don't know her.

I only have small flashbacks.

But there aren't many.

Rabbit is all I have left.

Silence settled between us again, but this time it wasn't awkward.

We just stood there, leaning against the tree, listening to the rustling of the water and the wind passing through the leaves.

And the rain.

"And you?" I ask, after a while. "What's your name?"

His jaw tenses. It takes him a while to answer.

"Elliot"  he answers. "Not many people know it..."

I looked at him in surprise. I wasn't expecting it.

"Everyone calls me Torchbearer"  he added, almost as if he were apologizing for it. "I guess it's easier to remember a name like that."

I nodded, understanding the weight of names in this world.

Torchbearer. 

A leader, a figurehead for the other Banditos.

"Elliot..." I repeated his name quietly, testing it out, letting it float in the air between us. It was a normal name, without the burden that "Torchbearer" carried. "It's a nice name."

We fell silent again, each wrapped in their thoughts. It was strange how something as simple as a name could make us feel more human, more real.

"You know?" I smile. "I have several memories from when I was little. The happiest one I have is one where I spent an entire day playing near a river like this one..." I sigh, trying to remember. "I loved feeling the cold on my feet."

Elliot smiles, glancing at me from the corner of his eye.

"And you didn't catch a cold?" he asks, his voice soft.

"Obviously"  I reply with a low laugh. "But it was worth it. Although then I got to DEMA, and everything went to shit."

"DEMA is a hell of a place''  he says, adjusting his position against the tree. "I hate that city with all my soul. Silent, artificial, monotonous...''

I nod. That's literally what I think.

We fall silent again. The rain seems to get worse by the moment.

"Well, I like to cook..."  Elliot breaks the silence.

"Cook? Really?"  I laugh "I can't see you cooking..."

"Well, yes, I cook" he smiles. "I'm not very good... but I manage. Someday I can cook something for you."

I look down, somewhat surprised.

Does he intend to stay with me?

I didn't think he would want to.

Despite this casual atmosphere, there is still a tense feeling between us.

Finally, after a while of silence, I can't help it anymore. Curiosity is killing me.

"Elliot..."  I say, my voice lowering a little. "How did you get that wound?"

At first, I think he won't answer me.

His body tenses immediately, and his gaze becomes distant.

It's clear that this isn't an easy subject.

The silence stretches for a long moment before he speaks.

"Clancy..." he says quietly, and my heart skips a beat at the sound of his name. "He was the one who did this to me."

I didn't expect it. I stare at him, trying to process what he just said.

"Clancy? What... how?"  I stammer in disbelief.

Elliot closes his eyes for a moment, as if he's reliving the pain in his mind.

"When I went up to the tower..." he begins, his voice shaking, "Clancy was there." But it wasn't him... not at all. Something was wrong." He pauses, as if the words were resisting coming out. "He was out of control, aggressive. He attacked me without warning, like he didn't know who I was. I couldn't recognize him at the time, it was like he was possessed."

My stomach tightened. Clancy... aggressive?

"He was yelling things at me that didn't make sense. His eyes were red" he continues, tears beginning to pool in his eyes. "And before I could react, he attacked me with something he'd found. It was one of those Neds horns, something that was like a gift to him. He stabbed me in the side so hard that I fell to the ground.

I'm in shock. I can't imagine Clancy doing something like that. He was... a good person.

Or at least, that's what I thought.

"It hurt so much..." Elliot continues, his voice cracking. "But I had to fight back. I couldn't let him kill me." So, in a moment of desperation, I hit him over the head with the first object I found. I knocked him.

I don't know what to say. Elliot's tears fall silently down his face as he continues.

"I don't know what was wrong with him. It wasn't him. Clancy would never have done something like that." His voice shakes. "And now he's dead. I killed him."

The words hang between us, filled with pain and guilt.

"It wasn't your fault..." I whisper, trying to comfort him, even though I knew nothing I could say could ease that pain.

He just sobs, unable to stop.

 I want to hug him but I can't move.

Red eyes.

He said "red eyes."