Rhiannon

It has not been easy.

I didn't expect it to be, honestly. But it's harder than I could ever have expected.

When you are a werewolf, there is this whole life expectancy of finding your mate and living with your partner. It's what my parents had before my mother was killed and what I expected to have whenever I'd find my mate.

Since I spent 5 five years unmated after I turned 18, I learned how to let things go and live my life. I moved on somehow as I must. But that doesn't mean I forgot about the vacancy left in my heart.

It's impossible to forget it, honestly. It was before the 'meet and greet' and now that every single one of our pack members over 20 is mated, it's even harder.

Do you remember the day of Landon's 'accident' during training, when he came into the training center and found a warrior already marked, bonded with his mate?

It's like that. Except I don't have the same privilege as him to 'accidentally' hurt one of my colleagues because he completed the bond before me.

For one, I rejected my mate. Second, women don't get rut. We might get struck by heat, but not me since I formally rejected my mate.

In other words, I am in this mess of my own choice. It is me who decides when I complete the bond. I am the girl, after all. I may not know a lot, but I know I never had trouble getting men to have intercourse with me. Especially my mate, in this scenario.

I don't mean to sound regretful, because I don't regret rejecting my mate.

He needed to know that was NOT a way to treat any woman. And that NO ONE in their right mind would ever pull a "prank" like that on a widower, much less force a kiss on him. Trust me, as a woman living in a man's world, I know a thing or two about struggle.

My dad taught me that my career path would be more difficult for me because I am a woman. It's not like there aren't any female warriors, there are. But it's a drop in the bucket.

There are maybe twenty women in a one hundred and fifty warrior force. Basically, all my patrol colleagues are men, my team leader, the under Delta - who is now my dad - and the Delta. Not to mention our Beta and Alpha, though they don't deal with me on a daily basis.

I became friends with Landon because both of us were orphans of a parent and still unmated at the time, so we bonded over our similarities. But an Alpha rarely deals with a warrior unless something goes wrong.

Beta Carillon works closely with Delta Saunders or my dad. He doesn't concern himself with warriors like me unless, again, something is wrong. It's beneath his pay grade. He is a planner. He manages the force to better protect our pack.

When I joined the force five years ago, I was assigned a patrol team and a leader. He is the one who acts as my boss on a daily basis. When I am not patrolling the territory, I am training in the center.

Anyway, back to my original point, all my colleagues are mated and marked. Most of them already have children of their own with mates who work as well. In this day and age, it's rare to find a partner who doesn't work - not to say that there is anything wrong with staying home and raising a family.

When we are patrolling in wolf form, we are focused on the task ahead. But when we are training, men talk more than women. I listen to their daily dilemmas with their mates, discussions, and obviously to their bragging.

It's a room full of men. What did you expect?

They are not crass about their partners, their loved ones, but there is the occasional 'I gave it to her all night long' or 'I don't know how she walked after the weekend we had'. How did she walk? With her legs, homie. You are probably not even that big... *eye roll*

Not that I share locker room space with the men, of course not. I am still a woman, even if most of my peers see me as one of the guys most of the time.

And I don't mind it, mostly because I prefer to be seen as an equal than to have special treatment. My dad had already prepared me for that. He said there was no special treatment under Kurt Saunders. He is equally hard on everybody.

After a while, I bonded with the men. At first, they saw me as different than them, a rookie, a female. Now I am just one of their colleagues. And sometimes they even ask me for advice with their spouses, you know, to offer them a female perspective.

I am glad to do it. I spend 6 to 12 hours with these men. They are my family and I love them, though sometimes I have to spend my day off talking to my aunt Zelda and her daughters just to keep in touch with my femininity and talk about other subjects. You know, girl talk.

But there is still something missing in my life.

Something I always thought one day I would have.

For all the desperation I felt while still being unmated for so long, a part of me always dreamed the situation would be remedied one day if I was patient enough. Some day, my mate would come and make me the happiest woman on Earth.

I guess I had a different set of expectations for him. For one, he wouldn't be a murderer. That he wouldn't be the person responsible for the killing of my Alpha, for starters.

Also, living in one of the largest packs in the country, I sort of expected to be mated to a guy from Regency Falls. Not another warrior, please Goddess no! But any other available man. I wouldn't be opposed to a lawyer, a doctor, a farmer, or even a cowboy.

But not for Rhiannon Henderson, she had to be mated to the heir of the Blood Moon pack.

I know I am a young, vibrant, fulfilled young woman. I have a loving extended family, get along great with my dad and friends. But my bed remains empty.

This is not to say that I can't get some unsuspecting human to fulfill my needs. Of course, I can. And I used to do it back when I was still unmated but now...

Call me crazy, but I feel like that would be cheating on my mate. Even though I rejected him, so that doesn't count. There is no fidelity required in this case. Aaron could be getting it on with some random woman as well. Though I prefer to think he is alone like me, I know men very well. Too well for my taste, but it is a man's world.

Yeah, this is way harder than I expected. I struggle sometimes to find a balance, to refocus my strength and to concentrate on myself. It's not like I need a man to be happy, I do not.

But I am lonely. My heart yearns for some company that won't leave my bed as soon as he is satisfied. I hate myself for thinking about him, but we don't get to pick our mates.

I know this much is true.

At times, my wolf howls inside my chest yearning for its other half. It drives me crazy that I don't have any control over who I want, who I desire. But I knew that would happen once I got mated.

I work with more than one hundred men. Do you know how many times I listened to one of them commenting about hooking up with other women? Stepping out on their mates?

Zero.

People with twenty or thirty years of mating still got it for their partners as if they had met each other yesterday. That is a mated werewolf for you. There is no divorce. No cheating. You get one woman and you are happy to have her for the rest of your life.

Or men. I am not discounting any gender or sexuality. I am simply stating that we have to be happy about who we get and that's it. I don't know any citizen of our large pack who has denied their mate.

Well, at least not alive. But one hears stories growing up, especially at school.

Like I said, it's hard.

The afternoon in which my mate came to Regency Falls to meet up with Landon at his father's request, I waited for him in front of the living room of the pack house.

Whoever was left in the entrance hall quickly made themselves scarce as I stared at my mate intensely. I mean, we stared at each other.

"I didn't think you'd come to see me." Aaron told me in a shy tone. His face completely changed as he saw me, opening a wide smile. I wish I didn't feel this way, but it made my day. I cannot lie.

"I didn't want to, but I needed to scent you to calm my wolf." I said in a sincere tone.

Aaron took a huge inhale of my scent, instinctively.

"I see what you mean. It's very calming, indeed. Thank you for stopping by." Aaron said, moving to walk away from me.

"That's it? What's the hurry? Did you leave a woman in your bed, so you have to return to her?" I said in a snarky tone. I didn't mean to sound jealous and I know I have no right to be, but I am only human. Mostly.

Aaron glared daggers at me for that implication.

"I'm doing what you required of me! You said to keep a distance from you, I have. You said to make amends, work on myself and what I can do for my pack, I'm doing just that. What more can you want from me?" He ranted in a desperate plea that broke my heart.

I felt everything in his voice, including how desperately he wanted to be near me. It's that pesky mate bond again.

I really wish I was tougher. I wish I didn't want him so bad...

I ran towards my mate and met him with a kiss that I didn't know I needed so badly. Aaron embraced me in a welcoming warm hug that had me melting. I practically jumped on his lap, though both of us were standing up.

"Can I talk to you for a second inside the living room?" I suggested to him once we parted lips. I didn't want to put on a show for any unsuspecting pack employee or resident to see.

"Sure. It's not like there's a woman in my bed waiting for me at home." He snickered, throwing my words back at me. I glared at him.

"I didn't mean to sound like a jealous freak. I was just surprised to see you walking away." I admitted, blushing a bit.

"I was trying to give you space. If I stayed any longer, I would be the one throwing myself in your arms." He said, humorously. I laughed at how he displayed vulnerability, trying not to make me feel bad for giving in to our mate bond connection.

We entered the ample space and I closed the door. Though technically speaking, this place is for residents of the pack house to utilize, no one was doing that now. Everybody was occupied in the afternoon on a business day, so I am not taking up their space.

We sat on the couch and I quicly started speaking.

"I'm sorry for making you feel like you had to go over a checklist, but you really needed to be a better man for your pack. A better Alpha. Though it's easy to blame what happened to your pack on you, you weren't the one who started the war. You did what you felt was best with the information that you had." I told him, trying not to make him feel bad. Though he acted horribly, so did Landon. And neither of the Alphas started this ugly conflict.

"Thank you, mate. But I get it. I understood your message. I really needed to step up. I should have gotten over my own grief and be there for my pack members who also lost so much." He said, contemplatively.

"I can't speak for losing a mate, but I lost my mother in what I felt was a frivolous attack, so I can understand wanting to curl up and wallow in misery. I did that too." I said, reminiscing of the time I had lost my mom.

"I am so sorry for the part my pack played in her death. This silly war should have ended ages ago. I should have pursued peace instead of going for the kill, but werewolves are not so good at lowering our heads." He spoke, sorrowfully.

"I understand the killer instinct. But yes, you should have. Anyway, that's in the past now and I don't want to dwell on it. I want to hear about what you have been doing lately." I said in a chipper tone.

Aaron told me all about the 180 degree turn he took and how he was inspired by me telling him to step up to his pack. He talked it over with his father and Lucas Wilmont - their Beta - and came up with actions to take for the betterment of their pack members.

We talked for an hour before I realized the time had flown. I needed to return to the training center - thankfully I don't have any patrols today, otherwise, I'd be in deep shit with my team leader. Afternoon patrols start right after the lunch break.

"I have to return to the training center now before I get fired for flaking on my shift. But it was nice talking to you." I said, getting up from the couch.

"Thank you so much for coming to visit me. It means a lot." He said, getting up as well.

"Of course, Aaron. I'm in this relationship too. My wolf misses you." I confessed, blushing.

Aaron lunged for my lips and I had no choice but to welcome him with open arms. His lips taste so good, I wish they didn't. But in this close proximity, my wolf howled in pleasure as we could feel our mate.

"My wolf misses you too." He said, parting lips.

We walked out together, each of us getting into our respective cars, both thinking about the other. And that kiss... *swoons*

When I returned, my dad told me off for being so late to return.

'I said you could say hello to your mate, not stay with him all afternoon!' Dad complained, peeved at me.

Just great! Like Ares, now my dad is my boss too. What can I say, it's a man's world.

But to quote a famous song, it really would be nothing without us. Just ask my mate, if you don't believe me.

https://youtu.be/H77fRz1rybs

A|N: I love Rhiannon. <3

Though #Spares is probably my favorite couple to write to, Rhiannon is special to me.

In the next chapter, a bomb will drop. The truth is near. It's aptly titled "In The Air Tonight".

Low key I wanted to use this song badly but couldn't so far.

I love how last chapter, there was 'woman' in the title and now 'man'. It's a total  silly coincidence!

Love,

Léo.