Landon

I'm excited.

After hearing Beta Carrilon's plan for our vengeance, I could finally understand why they say revenge is a dish best served cold.

I get why he argued against an immediate attack after my father's death. I was gunning for blood and we could have sustained some heavy losses should we attack them right away.

That's not what my father would've wanted, more widows. No, he would have agreed with his best friend of thirty plus years: Javier Carillon.

Not many people could talk me off a ledge after an incomprehensible loss like my father's, but that man is pretty much a second dad to me. Not to say mine was absent or anything like that, but Beta Carillon was always present in our household from the time I was a baby.

His mate and him babysat me countless times. I slept at his house on numerous occasions. His son is my best friend. His daughter was supposed to be my mate, but to my father's slight disappointment, I don't swing that way.

Of course I respect him deeply and value his opinion. Besides, he has been Beta for more than two decades. He has the experience to back it up.

I know I could maybe blame him for not having protected my father enough, but he beats himself up plenty about this fact. Not that he tells me about it, but I can sense his grieving. He took it very hard.

But the truth is no one saw that coming. Alpha Staedler would never cause damage like that. No, this means war.

Proper war. Not the cold one like we were used to for the last few years. At the same time, we can't go full on "Hatfields and McCoys".

This isn't the wild west. If we come in guns blazing now, people would take notice. Just because we're in Texas, it doesn't mean gun violence is legal.

No, we have to play this smart and efficiently, just like they did. A well put together targeted attack. I hate them so much for it. My wolf howls inside my chest at the mere thought.

Killing my dad? Really? An untested new Alpha like Aaron Staedler, who only ascended less than 6 months ago? Well, if you wanted war, you certainly got your wish. We're coming for you, Staedler!

I wake up in my bed alone just like any other day. Funny enough, I didn't think I'd miss college so much. It's not like I'm a nerd or I have a thirst for knowledge, I don't.

I mean, I liked my major because I needed to learn something about administration being the Alpha's heir. It's good to have your bases covered, so there's that.

But what I really miss from college is the parade of hot guys that I had at my disposal. Being unmated doesn't necessarily mean that you have to be lonely. And if there's one thing that college guys are good for, it's to provide a one night stand.

Now that I'm back in my hometown, the population is 50 thousand. The pool of possibilities (for me) has decreased exponentially. If you exclude the mated men alone - which I do - there are only the humans left.

From those, if you exclude the married ones - which I also do - well, you see where I'm going with this.

Bottom line is: I miss college. At least over there I don't have to be constantly reminded that I'm a mateless loser.

"Good morning, son. Have you slept well?" My mom asked as we met in the dining hall for breakfast. My siblings are here as well.

"Morning mom. I did, thankfully. I haven't had any nightmares for a while now." I replied, breathing out a sigh of relief. After my dad died, I had the most horrible nightmares. Especially after his funeral.

"Good, I'm glad to hear it. Don't forget you have training today." She winked at me, as if I needed reminding.

"They should train the actual future Alpha, not me." I rolled my eyes in annoyance. My brother gulped awkwardly at the reference.

"Javier is already on it, Landon. But that doesn't take away from your duties as Regent." Mom spoke in her serene but stern tone.

Alphas have to be on top of their game, including physical fitness and fighting skills. Unfortunately, the same rule applies for me even though I'm not the actual Alpha. Basically, I have all the duties but none of the privileges.

The salary is the same, but I'm not doing this for the money, trust me. Besides, my father's will was written when he thought I was gonna be the next Alpha, so he left all his properties to me. He also made sure my mother and siblings were taken care of, naturally. My mother got his entire life insurance policy, so she's even more taken care of than me financially.

"I'm aware, mom. Don't sweat it." I conceded. I knew this was coming, so it's no surprise there. They only had put it off for some time out of respect for my grieving process.

"Lan, I never asked for any of this. I don't want to be Alpha if it means you don't get to be. You should be Alpha. I don't even have a mate yet." My brother said, looking at me with humility in his eyes.

"I know, Clark. I don't blame any of this on you. You're barely 17, boy. Relax! But your mate is coming, I'm sure. You have the pick of the litter and I saw plenty of girls eyeballing you when I last dropped by your high school." I told him, reassuringly.

If there's one innocent person in this whole process, it's my sweet brother Clark. He doesn't covet being Alpha. Like everyone else, he was raised on the notion that I'd be the one who'd succeed our father in his position.

He laughed uncomfortably and mom shot him a knowing glance. My sister also laughed at my remark.

"They're just vying to be Luna. They don't actually care about me." He said, blushing.

My mom was not very pleased at this statement but fortunately for her - and him - the decision on who's gonna be the next Luna is out of our hands.

I finished my breakfast, brushed my teeth and went to my office before I had to make my way to the training center where I am supposed to train.

"Good morning, Regent. I understand you have three hours cleared for today. Luna 's orders." Lourdes greeted me with her signature chipper mood and a knowing glance.

"She cleared my calendar too? Geez, my mom thinks I'm gonna ditch my mandatory training. As if... I could've ditched as a teenager, now it's just muscle memory." I said, slightly revolting at the lack of trust displayed by her towards me.

Truth is I've trained since I was 12 years old. I had to. My dad had me training ever since my consecration to the Moon, the occasion in which a young pup first shifts into a wolf on the first full moon night after their birthday.

If anything, training right now should be a walk in the park after all those years.

"I don't think you could've ditched even as a teenager, Regent." She smirked at my phrasing. She knew my father since she was a little girl and my dad never relinquished his duties.

"That was a figure of speech. My dad would have me escorted by warriors if I missed training." I said, reminiscing at the memory of my demanding father.

I breathed out a sigh at the mention of my dad and entered my office. I had only a brief time to deal with more urgent affairs before taking my car and driving to the training center.

There's a gymnasium that is utilized for training our warriors and doing exercises. We have to always be at the top of our game because you never know when an attack is gonna happen. Or even if we have to dispatch 'harmless' rogues that come near our border sometimes.

Because of the animosity between our two packs, the border is always well defended and trespassers are killed. Only werewolves, I mean. We don't interfere with any humans outside of an emergency / self defense situation.

The place is huge. Last time I stepped foot here I was still 18 and it was the summer after my high school graduation. My dad insisted I should still train and that my mate was due to appear at any time. He never lost hope.

A single tear threatens to drop from my eye. I don't mean to get emotional, but my father's presence is everywhere in this place.

"Hi, Regent. Welcome back." - Delta Saunders smiled at me with an awkward stance. The last time he spoke with me was at my father's funeral.

"Hi, Delta. It's good to be back, I guess." - I said, incredibly uncomfortable.

He notices my emotional state and goes silent for a moment. The rest of the warriors present are carrying on like business as usual. They greeted me as I walked inside, but mostly awkward nods and half smiles.

At the same time, on the other side of the gymnasium, a warrior steps out of the locker room with wandering eyes.

"So, when is the mateless loser supposed to arrive here?" He asked a colleague with a boastful grin. Why is he calling me that if he literally doesn't know me?

Rage flashes before my eyes. Delta Saunders gulped awkwardly at the sentence. I turned around to look for the origin of the voice and darted for the attack.

At lightning speed, I rushed to where he was standing and as he stared at my incoming fury, I threw a punch his way that dropped him to the ground hard.

"Who are you calling a loser, motherfucker? Do you have a death wish? Show me some goddamn respect if you wanna live in my pack!" I shouted at him furiously, before being contained by several warriors from attacking him again.

I was beside myself with anger. My eyes glowed as if I was standing before my mate. I went from being emotional over my father's death to being disrespected by some low life.

Bleeding, the warrior bowed his head and apologized to me over and over again. In a moment, Beta Carillon arrives at the training center and takes command of the situation.

"I'm sorry that you had to hear that, Regent. He was completely out of line." He told me with a disappointed frown. He gestured for the warriors to get off of me and so they did.

"I will not be disrespected in my own pack! He's lucky to be still alive!" - I raised my voice, still angry as the medic attended to the now injured warrior.

"No one should be disrespected, Regent. Rest assured, he will be dealt with. Please go with Delta Saunders to the other side to start your training." He instructed me, confidently.

I glared at the obnoxious person who frankly feared me more than anything else. Though he probably feared the consequences for him much more.

Begrudgingly, I did as told and turned my attention to start my training with Delta Saunders. The other warriors all stared at me frightened. That's right, they should be frightened. I'll be dead before I'm disrespected. I may not be Alpha, but I'm still my father's son.

With this much pent-up aggression, my training was a walk in the park. I'm actually glad I have to train once more. I need to work off my rage in a healthy way. And like I said before, I'm still not past the anger stage of my grieving.

And being called the exact thing that you already feel deep down is not very good for my healing process. In fact, it was the worst thing I could have been called by anyone.

Later that evening, my mother had already heard about my altercation inside the training center. She is very well informed and has eyes and ears everywhere in town.

"I'm booking you a grief counselor, Landon. You need to talk to someone about your issues." She said with a worried tone at the dinner table.

"My issues are I'm a mateless loser and my father just died. There, I said it." I spoke through gritted teeth.

Both my siblings gulped uncomfortably at my outburst. They glanced at our mom, who breathed out a worried sigh.

"You are not a loser, son. Your mate will appear at some point. But that doesn't give you the right to attack anyone." She argued in a soft tone.

"I didn't attack anybody. I gave an equal response to a provocation." I rebuked, irritated.

"That was NOT an equal response. An equal response would be you talking to him, demanding a retraction or that disciplinary measures are taken against him." She argued, slightly peeved at me.

"I took a disciplinary measure right away. I doubt he will disrespect me any time soon." I retorted, not backing down from this.

"That was NOT a disciplinary measure, Landon!" She raised her tone, exasperated.

"The disciplinary actions are what Javier did AFTER you knocked the poor boy to the ground." She elaborated, incisively.

"Yeah, well. I'm sorry I'm not a pushover. If people disrespect me, they will live to regret it." I declared nervously. Dinner tonight is going to be difficult to swallow.

"No one is telling you to be a pushover! I'm only arguing that violence doesn't solve anything." She countered, annoyed at me.

"Maybe if dad was more violent, no one would have the balls to have him murdered!" I shot back, to which my mother immediately slapped my face.

Both my siblings got startled by this. She's not the violent type, my mom. But right now her eyes are glowing in anger. I guess it's clear now who I get it from.

"I'll not have your father's memory be disrespected like this! Your father was a fair and respected leader. He took measures that were fit to the task ahead, but he never had to flaunt his power around to make himself be heard or respected." She raised her voice, incredibly distraught.

Tears come to my eyes. I lowered my head, ashamed of myself.

"I know, mom. I'm sorry for what I said. But I completely lost it, okay? I'm fucked up. Is that what you wanted to hear?" I admitted, now sobbing. Emotions are flooding me right now.

I can't eat anymore. I took a drink of my juice as the tears flowed through me.

"No, that's not what I wanted to hear at all. It's okay not to be okay, son. It's okay to be angry about losing your father. Do you think I'm not angry too? I'm fuming! But if I let my emotional state affect my decisions and relationships, I'd be insufferable. I still have my children to raise and an Alpha to guide. Not to mention all my duties as Luna of the pack." She argued, vulnerably.

We hugged each other over the table. Both my siblings are also sobbing at the scene. Truth is none of us are okay yet. And it's highly unlikely we'll heal any time soon.

My mom is probably right. I'm not proud of my actions back there. But I'm hurting. This is all too much for me to deal with.

I need my father by my side. I will never get over this loss. And the whole mateless situation only complicates matters for me.

At least I could have someone supporting me if I were mated, but no. Not for me. I don't mean to be rude to anyone, but for now there's only so much I can take.

https://youtu.be/e82VE8UtW8A

A|N: Ouch! That was hurtful.

Poor boy.

Love,

Léo.