Harry

This is much more difficult than I could have predicted.

I knew from the start that rejecting my mate would cost me. I was well versed on the toll it takes on a werewolf to reject his Goddess given mate. I didn't make this decision blindly or ignorantly.

But knowing about it is not the same as actually experiencing the phenomenon. It is taking everything in me to resist giving in to my mate.

I am not going to talk about the fact that I am kind of lonely right now. It's not about that. Also, it's not about the fact that Landon is not only very handsome, he is scorchingly hot.

I mean, those abs alone are so ripped I could probably do my laundry on it...

Anyway, it is not about that either. It's about every cell in my body asking me to get close to him, begging me to complete the bond. It's a powerful link between souls that cannot be denied, though some people do try.

Sometimes I kind of wish I was human just so I could have the option available to me. On the other hand, I heard through the rumor mill that one of my college professors was dumped last year by his husband of 14 years and traded in by a younger model. So who says having a choice is any better?

I was heartbroken after Landon left my room last night. I could feel the sadness he felt all through the night. It gives me no pleasure rejecting him, this isn't a petty vendetta against him for the genocide of my pack.

Of course the reason behind the rejection is my pack, I am not denying it. But I swear I am not using it as a punishment to him, that is not what this is about.

Every time I think about my pack, the people who died at his behest, it is like a knife twisting on our bond.

With that being said, I am not okay leaving him feeling bad, thinking this is some sort of punishment scenario. It isn't. And he is not the only one being punished by me holding back on him, trust me.

I could feel his cold indifference this morning over breakfast, his willingness to get the furthest away from my presence as possible.

I could take the hint and go back to my pack, my town, but I don't want to leave us like this. This was never about making him feel bad. It never was.

I refuse to let our brief relationship be about hurting each other, even though the pain is inevitable.

I thought long and hard about our situation and I didn't want to leave him like this, not in the slightest. I refuse to let him hurt because of me.

I entered his room trying my best to comfort him and get us to a better place and ended up wrapped in his arms. Who saw that coming? Certainly not me...

We make out for the longest time. My hands caressing any bare skin they could find on him, until that wasn't enough anymore.

My eyes glowed in pure lust, as my wolf is close to taking control over me. But I don't want to let him, otherwise it will complete the bond and that is not what I want.

I turned us around, getting on top of him and he was baffled by my aggressiveness. But he hasn't seen aggressive yet. I pulled his shirt over his head and gently positioned my hands on each of his sides, caressing while I kissed him.

I take my time kissing his ripped torso, causing him to moan at the soft contact. Though the moaning gets more intense when I start licking his nipples.

His bulge gets swollen as my tongue caresses his upper body with sweet intention. I take pleasure in the dominance I exert on his Alpha body, making him submit to me willingly.

His body trembles each time my tongue slides to uncharted territory. His eyes glow with (equal) blinding lust for me, it feels incredible.

It feels as if I never had done anything like this before; suddenly, I catch him whimpering when my tongue leaves his body only to moan loudly when it returns for more action.

I relish in this control over him, unleashing an evil inside of me that I was yet to know existed. I am perplexed at myself, honestly. My tongue slides up and down his torso as if mapping every inch of skin, Landon is completely surrendered to me right now.

That is what I thought, at least. Then it happened.

In a swift move, he lifted me up and placed me by his side, climbing on top of me as he did. He nearly tore the shirt off me and hurriedly attacked my body with kisses that made me think I died and went to heaven.

His mouth softly caressed my skin, he nibbled in the area around my neck where he would mark me and my wolf practically shifted it was so out of control. I couldn't fight the moans from escaping my lips.

He took a page out of my playbook and went for my nipples too, except he didn't lick them, he nibbled. I howled in ecstasy - not exaggerating. I was so in control of his body just a moment ago and now he is the one in control of mine.

My nails are growing into talons, my wolf is fighting me for control. I close my eyes, focus myself and will it to go back. All the while, Landon is kissing my belly and licking his way upwards again.

Both of us are so into this, we don't know who is influencing the other. All I know is that my mate is lapping around my areola like it was candy and I am howling at the pleasure.

He keeps at it for a while before I take control over again. I grabbed him by the sides and placed him beside me, voraciously undoing his pants. Without any resistance, I pulled his pants down to his feet before removing them completely, being exposed to his magnificent hard cock.

I took him to my mouth and he gasped at the pleasure, howling like he was under the full moon. We were running wild tonight, letting out all inhibitions. I mean, some of them.

I lick my way from the base to the tip of his cock, slurping the extensive area like candy. I didn't even have time to enjoy it much before he warned me he was already coming and I jerked him off for all the semen he had inside to explode out of him.

I rushed to the bathroom to clean up my hand and when I returned, he was standing in front of the bed, still hard, smiling mischievously at me. I gasped at his intentions that I could feel as if a prey stood in front of a predator.

Landon kneeled, undid my pants where I stood, pulled them down and had a feast with my hard dick. He placed his hands on my butt cheeks and I moaned loudly.

I am guessing this isn't his first rodeo because he expertly took control of my cock, sucking it with hunger but gently enough so I enjoy it thoroughly. My body trembles at the pleasure, shaking like a leaf. I had to pull myself together so I wouldn't fall flat on the floor.

Landon licks from the base to the tip slowly, taking his time, going on and on. My moans are almost uncontrollable, though nothing is compared to when he switches to my balls.

As soon as his tongue softly slid down my balls, I barely had a second to warn him before I erupted like a volcano. Landon took the opportunity to jerk me off while still licking my testicles, making me fly high in ecstasy.

It seemed I had some pent up sexual frustration to work through because by the time he finished me off, there were remnants of my pleasure all over him and the floor.

I was going to clean myself up when he asked me to take a shower with him. At this point, who am I to say no to the Alpha? After the shower, he lent me a towel from his wardrobe and we dried ourselves, getting dressed next to each other.

I couldn't help but to admire his physique, drooling as he put on the underwear. He caught me gawking at him but instead of making fun of me, he did the same. His eyes practically jumped from his eye sockets at the sight of my cock hard once again. I couldn't help myself, my mate is so freaking hot.

When we were decent, we gazed upon each other for a moment in silence before we could speak.

"Well, I guess I'm glad we got that out of the way." He snickered, causing me to giggle.

"Certainly not what I thought we would do when I came to your room..." I breathed out a sigh.

"Do you regret it?" He took me aback with his worried frown.

"NO! Not at all!" I reassured him with a high pitched voice.

He took comfort in my enthusiastic response and grinned wide at me.

"Trust me, there's no regret. I've been meaning to suck your cock for a while now." I admitted, flustered.

He gasped at my blunt honesty and told me:

"Right back at you, stud." He smiles mischievously at me. I blushed under his piercing gaze.

"Anyway, I just came here to clear the air between us. I never meant for you to feel bad or for there to be any bad blood between us." I stated, once I recollected my thoughts.

"I understand. Thanks for stopping by, Harry. This was our best conversation to date." He snickered and I couldn't help but snort at his comment.

"I do love our conversations. You're very good at them." I complimented him, blushing.

"That means the world coming from you. I really appreciate it, mate." He replied, eyes glistening in happiness.

I got up from the chair and started walking towards the door when he surprised me the most so far tonight. And that is saying something.

"Stay with me, please." He pleaded, looking at me like a lost puppy. It was so freaking adorable, I couldn't resist.

https://youtu.be/JF8BRvqGCNs

"I don't want you to get the wrong impression. This changes nothing between us." I declared with conviction.

"I know, I'm not delusional. Please stay here with me tonight. Just one night." He requested , pleadingly.

I stared at him unresponsive for a while. His eyes filled with unflinching vulnerability, pure emotion. I couldn't possibly resist him. Honestly, I am weak in the knees all over again.

"Fine, but don't get any ideas." I warned him, raising an eyebrow in suspicion.

He lifted his hand in a 'scouts honor'.

"I won't, I promise." He pledged, seemingly sincere.

I turned around and plopped down on his bed, much to his content huge smile.

"Can I kiss you?" He asked once we were both lying on the bed.

"Always." I blurted, grinning. This is not the response I thought I'd give to that question, but I can feel my resolve weakening as I laid so close to him.

He kissed me softly and I relished in his delicious lips. We embrace each other and this is my new heaven. His scent comforts me like nothing else on Earth ever could.

Between his kisses and warm embrace, I slept like a baby tonight. In fact, it was the best sleep I had in weeks. Damn you, Goddess!

When I woke up the next day, I went back to my bedroom to change clothes and brush my teeth. Landon was sleeping so peacefully I didn't have the heart to wake him up.

Since the breakfast is served a little later on Sundays, I took the opportunity to get my stuff together. I organized my clothes, packed my bag and left everything ready for me to leave this place.

I made my way downstairs to the dining room and entered to find the Barnetts talking. I greeted everyone and took my seat.

"You look good this morning. Did you sleep well?" Luna asked me in a chipper tone.

"Thank you, Luna. I slept great. In fact, I slept better than I have in weeks." I replied, sincerely.

"I'm glad to hear. My son was just telling us that he also had a great night of sleep." She told me with a poignant look.

Clark giggles at the subtext in our conversation, that he is old enough to understand. The little one just looked at me nonchalantly.

"That's good, ma'am. A good night's sleep is important for our health." I stated, not giving anything away.

"What are your plans for today? Do you want any tips for sightseeing?" Landon asked me after a while of us eating breakfast in silence.

"No, thanks. I'm going back home today." I replied and he gasped in shock. And he is not alone.

"What? Already? But you just got here!" He questioned me, baffled by the announcement.

"I just came to make sure you were alright. You are, now I need to return home." I explained in a calm manner.

"I thought you were going to stay longer." He cried out in a desperate tone.

"Sorry, Landon. This was only meant to be temporary." I frowned at his sorrowful expression. It was heartbreaking to see how sad he was about my departure, but I can't stay here any longer or I'll cave.

"I understand, Harry. I just wish we could have more time. We only scratched the surface in our conversations so far." He argued, looking and sounding impossibly saddened.

"I'm sure we're gonna have other opportunities to talk once more. You can always call or text me. I'll leave you my number before I go." I told him, feeling bad about the departure.

I have to go home. If last night was any indication, I have to go now or I'll stay here forever. I am losing my nerve to keep rejecting my mate and I don't want to do something I might regret later.

The mood in the room changed drastically. Everyone was feeling bad for Landon now that I announced I am leaving. I am not happy about it either, but it is what it is. I cannot stay here any longer.

After breakfast, I went back to my room to collect my stuff. When I came walking towards the entrance hall, the Barnetts were waiting for me in line.

"Thank you for the hospitality, Luna." I said, giving her a hug.

"This house will always be open to you, my dear. Come back whenever you want." She offered me a kind smile and I retributed.

Landon's siblings said goodbye to me, his little sister offering me an adorable paper drawing for me to take as a memento. It was so sweet. Landon embraced me with a tight hug, letting me know he did not want to let me go. I nearly wept looking at his adorable face.

"If you ever need me, I am there. This house and this family will always be here to welcome you back, whenever you want." He declared as the tears threatened to drop from his eyes.

"Thank you for everything. I really enjoyed my time here. Take care of yourself. Text me whenever." I said, giving him my number written on a piece of paper.

It was very difficult to say goodbye to them, particularly to my mate. They treated me like a part of their family, without any reservations regarding my pack or my past. They were all so welcoming it warms my heart.

I get into my car after putting my bag in the back seat, before I leave I see Landon waving me goodbye from the front door of the pack house. He was crying and I couldn't stop the tears from falling down my face.

I am not going to lie, this would be a lot easier if my mate wasn't such a stand up guy. I could feel it in my bones, him begging me to stay here with him, his heart breaking as I left.

This was not an easy decision, but it took everything in me to not turn the car around and stay with him. I hate to admit it, but in his arms is where I want to be. There is no better place for me, of that I am sure now.

https://youtu.be/gy7OW3mBOzU

A|N: WoW! So that happened.

It's funny how these songs couldn't be more different from each other but I couldn't resist including them in this chapter. Especially this last one which speaks perfectly with the chapter's theme.

I just love that song by Rihanna, so I had to work it in.

Love,

Léo.