⌚ 6:00 AM ON THE DOT

El was hoping she'd never have to hear that stupid horn again in her life.

But she does and she wakes up with a jolt and so does Grace and Grace falls flat on her face from the top bunk.

Before El knows it, tears are flowing out of her eyes from laughing so hard because Grace totally did what she said she wouldn't do and it's fucking hilarious.

"Take a picture, it'll last longer," Grace spits, pulling herself up.

El deeply considers doing so, but instead she stretches, getting out of bed. She pulls on her shorts from yesterday under her too-big tee shirt, ignoring Grace's glare. "Well, mistress," she bows mockingly to Grace, who's now gotten up and is running a brush through her sleek hair. "I think you should be in the bathroom right now? Whilst you are doing that, I'm going to head out."

Grace rolls her eyes, depositing the brush in a drawer and pulling out a (thankfully not pink) outfit, consisting of a purple campfire-embellished Camp Ashwood tee shirt and very short shorts, from the only closet in the cabin which she'd claimed for herself. "I hope you drown in the lake."

El sneers as she slips her flip flops on and heads out the door. "Don't count on it!" she calls, slamming the rickety cabin door behind her. She's never felt happier at this hour in the morning, so she has Grace to thank for that.

The campers aren't going to be here for two more hours, so she figures that she might as well enjoy the fresh air and the peace and the quiet (and the bugs and the smell of animal feces). Cabin 5, El and Grace's cabin, is right beside the lake, so El only has to walk a few feet to sit by it. She plops down on a weird-looking clump of small leafy plants and watches the stillness of the day, with the sun just risen and the wind blowing calmly through the trees and the lake - wait, is that who she thinks it is?

"Finn?" El mutters, squinting at the kayak approaching her.

Eventually, the kayak rolls lazily onto the shore, Finn bearing a grin as he climbs his way out. "Hey, El."

El is merely delusional since it's 6 o'clock. Not because Finn is practically glowing in the sunlight or anything. "What were you doing?"

"I like to kayak," he shrugs. "Calms my nerves."

"You're nervous?"

Finn leaves the oar beside the boat and leans by a tree beside El's patch of plants. "Kinda. Not like last year, though."

And because of this, El is nervous. Fuck. Now her heart is threatening to claw itself out her throat and she's sweating through her tee shirt and it's a lot hotter than it already was. "Thanks a lot," she mumbles.

"Hm?"

"Nothing," she heaves a sigh. "I think - I think I better head back. Maybe Grace is done grooming herself."

Finn snorts. "You make her sound like a dog."

El plucks out a clump of the leaves from the little patch of the plants as she rises and grins at Finn. "She might as well be. Grace is a bitch."

⌚ 7:15 AM

Why is El feeling weird down...there?

Like pain. And itch. And pain.

She stops scrubbing at her legs and peers down at her genitals. Why are they red?

Oh dear god.

⌚ 8:03 AM

El can't sit properly, inconveniently in the bonfire pit where all one can sit on is a makeshift bench made from a log. She's managed to find some calamine lotion (of Grace's, but she doesn't need to know) and slathered it onto her crotch region, but it still itches and hurts and -

"Welcome, campers!" Lionel announces to the one hundred fifty campers gathered around the bonfire pit, hearty voice and big smile. "Or to some of you, welcome back!"

El shifts a bit, resisting the urge to scratch because there's like, a pre-pubescent boy two feet away from her.

"Camp Ashwood is happy to have all of you here," Lionel continues. "Both boys and girls alike, we hope you enjoy your time with us here. Now, to orient you with what usually happens here..."

Must not scratch. Must not scratch. Must not fucking scratch.

"The camp will be divided into two; girls and boys. You'll be competing with each other throughout summer. You'll all be scored according to your performance here and at the end of the month, we'll see who the winners are. Most of you are probably familiar with the team names but in case you don't know, the girls are the Ashes, the boys are the Woods."

The males in the camp snicker at this, and maybe El would too, if she doesn't want to claw at her crotch. (It's actually incredibly disgusting, in retrospect. Ashes. Woods. Think about it. And of course El's itchy crotch is gross, too.)

"There are ten cabins, which fifteen of you will stay in -" El's always thought that fifteen in a cabin thing is a stretch, but the cabins are pretty big so that cancels it out "- and there'll be a counselor assigned to each cabin, who'll accompany you throughout your activities, like kayaking, arts & crafts, hiking, dodgeball, archery, rock climbing, so on and so forth. We've already assigned you to your respective cabins and counselors. Oh! Speaking of the counselors, why don't we introduce them?"

The campers errupt in surprisingly enthusiastic applause. Among that, El can hear familiar names; mostly Grace and Finn and Isaac. On his way to the stage, Finn tugs on El's arm as if saying, yes you're coming now get up. El gets up.

One by one, the nine other counselors introduce themselves, saying shit about how much they're excited for this and how much they love kids and how they want to make friends and El just scoffs because they're all so eager and enthusiastic, and El is here because she doesn't want to drop out of college. El knows she won't be able to fake that enthusiasm, either.

"This is our newest counselor," Lionel gestures for El to come beside him, "Elizabeth Thropp!"

El waves at the campers, already feeling feint. "H-hi."

Grace snorts from behind her. This snaps some sense into El. She can do this. Extra credit.

"I'm Elizabeth...well, you should just call me El. Yeah," she glances desperately at Lionel, pleading for him to let her off the hook.

"Tell us a little bit about yourself, El," Lionel prods.

She tries not to roll her eyes. God, she hates crowds. "Well..." she thinks of something interesting to say but she can't because all these people are staring at her and she doesn't like it. "I uh - I think I have poison ivy in my crotch," she blurts out. El realizes what she just said. One kid laughs. And another. And another. Soon, everyone is laughing at her.

"That's funny, El," Lionel laughs along uncomfortably. He pushes El to Finn and tells him to bring her to the infirmary.

"I can get there myself," she insists.

"Don't be ridiculous," Finn murmurs, grabbing her forearm. "Let's go."

"Toodles," Grace smirks, patting El on the shoulder. She promptly wipes her hand on her shorts.

⌚ 9:12 AM

"I knew there was something suspicious about those plants you were sitting on a while ago," Finn murmurs. He's looking at the ceiling because, well, because El is in an oatmeal bath (submerged from the collarbone down, with the exception of her arms which are clutching the side of the oatmeal-filled basin) in the infirmary and her crotch is itching slightly less but it still is and she's thoroughly embarrassed.

"I wish you would've told me something," El barks despite herself.

"I didn't know!" Finn is now occupying himself by looking at his worn shoes. "And how did it get...there anyway?"

"How would I know?" El sighs, submerging herself even more in the oatmeal. "I'm not really a plant expert the last time I checked."

"And the way you were walking to the bonfire pit?" Finn is sniggering now. "I should've known."

El flicks a clump of oatmeal at him. "Shut up."

⌚ 10:05 AM

El finds out that she's been assigned to Cabin A (the counselors' cabins are labeled by numbers while the campers' are letters), and she's in charge of fourteen ten to thirteen year old girls. And that they're already late for their tour of the camp. Great.

"Sorry I'm late," she pants, bursting through the door of Cabin A. It isn't easy running half a mile when your crotch is figuratively on fire. Not in the good way. In a very, very bad way.

Whatever chaos was breaking lose within the cabin fizzles out as soon as El steps into the place. Already, the pillows and blankets from the eight bunks lined up are askew, bags tossed carelessly beside them, and she sincerely hopes that that isn't a red thong that's hanging from the top bunk of the first bunk bed. What kind of thirteen year old would wear a thong?

Everyone in the cabin is staring at her now and the nerves are coming back. Pull yourself together, El. You can do this. Extra credit.

"So," El clears her throat. "Sorry again for being late. If you'll follow me -"

"Are you the counselor who has poison ivy up her vagina?" a girl who looks a lot like a mini version of Grace Upland pipes up.

El raises her eyebrow. She's actually less nervous and more amused now. That's a start. These girls actually kind of remind her of how she was when she was a camper. "It's not exactly up my vagina..."

Mini Grace smirks. "Well too bad; that's probably the most action you'll get for awhile." She giggles with two other girls who are equally as stereotypically Grace-esque.

"Excuse me?" El gasps. Is a thirteen year old girl really doing this? "You know why it's not up my vagina?" El feels a smirk tugging on her lips as well. She could get used to this.

Mini Grace raises her immaculate eyebrows.

"Because I don't wear a thong."

⌚ 1:00 PM

After putting those girls in their place, El managed to get them out of the cabin and through the entirety of Camp Ashwood unharmed. And while she was telling the girls about each spot in the camp and what they're going to do, El suddenly felt a longing for it. Her mom's right, she did love it here. So when they passed the archery ranges and she told her campers about how she almost shot her camp counselor in the eye, El learned that she actually does miss this place. And it kind of is nice to be back. Even if she absolutely hates being a counselor. (Maybe she doesn't hate it. It's actually kind of...bearable.)

"Here's the Campfeteria," El says finally, as they reach their final stop. An hour ago, the girls were already complaining about how hot it was and how hungry they were. El told them to "suck it up, the tour's almost over."

"The Campeteria?" one of them parrots. "That's a stupid name."

"Don't I know it," El mutters, opening the door and letting them file in. Already, all the other cabins are eating whatever the cook has decided to serve. (By the looks of it, it's fried chicken and potato salad, which looks edible enough.)

El directs her campers to the tables in the farthest corner, as these are the only ones left. "Just line up there and get your food, okay? Be done in forty minutes; we have arts & crafts with Cabin F."

So Mini Grace (or Brittany, as she likes to be called) leads her posse to the line and the disgusted looks on their faces could rival Grace Upland's herself. Exhausted, El makes her way to the counselors' table between Isaac and Louise. She's sure of their names now. Mostly.

"Better eat up," Isaac pushes a tray of cold chicken and potato salad towards Grace.

"Thanks," she pokes her fork into the potatoes.

Isaac soon finishes his food and cleans up. He taps El's shoulder and gives her a smile that is anything but pleasant. "You better hurry up for arts & crafts or my boys and I will get a head start and beat your asses."

"You're the counselor of Cabin F?" she asks through a mouthful of chicken. "Yeah, good luck."

"You think you can beat us?" Isaac says defensively. (He's nervous, she can tell.)

"Please," El swallows. "I was the best at arts & crafts back when I was a camper. Not to mention the Ashes won two years in a row while I was here."

"Sorry?" Isaac cups his ear at El's direction. "I can't hear your bullshit over the sound of the Woods winning this year."

El rolls her eyes but can't keep a smile from her lips. "I think you need that head start to win, Isaac. Now shoo."

Isaac is smirking, too. "It'll take you a century to get to the Arts & Crafts Hut with that poison ivy in your crotch," he winks. "Cabin F!" he calls, and they're off.

El doesn't mind being late this time, so she takes her time with the cold bland fried chicken and potato salad.

The turquoise-haired girl beside El nudges her. "You better beat them, El."

She looks up mid-bite at Louise. Did she really talk to El? (Despite refusing to free her from the suffocation of streamers yesterday?) "Yeah. I will," her voice comes out stronger than she expected.

"Good. The Ashes better stick together or we might lose to the Woods again," Louise brings another forkful of chicken to her mouth but decides against ingesting it and puts it back on the tray.

"Again? The Ashes didn't win last year?"

"Goodness, no," Louise flips her hair for emphasis. "Or the year before that. Or the year before that. I think the Ashes haven't won in four years, actually."

"You're kidding."

Louise shakes her head.

"Okay," El finishes her food off, miraculously not vomiting. "Why are you so nice to me now? Just yesterday you wouldn't help me," she blurts out before she's able to stop herself.

"El, that was yesterday. Grace was in a bad mood. I wanted to be nice, but I've kinda gotten this reputation to keep up with, yeah? But now's the real deal. Ashes versus Woods. You're still slightly weird and that poison ivy thing is gross, but like I said, we're Ashes. We should stick together. Unless you want to lose again."

"Stick together, huh?" El scoffs. "How about Grace?"

"That's different," Louise sighs. "You're also kind of the one who doesn't want to play nice with her, either."

"Maybe if she -"

"I know. Grace is kind of a bitch. That's a given. Just give her a chance. She's a good person under all that pink."

El can see herself and Louise being pretty good friends, even if Louise was also slightly bitchy to her yesterday. Her and Grace, however, very unlikely. "We'll see, I guess," she shrugs, getting up and dumping her tray onto the pile of dirty ones near the door. She waves at Louise, "See you later; promise to beat Cabin F!"

"Beat Isaac's sorry ass," Louise grins wickedly.

⌚ 2:27 PM

Cabin A is most definitely not beating Cabin F. Not even close.

It started out fine, actually. Cabin A arrived ten minutes late, which kind of got to El's nerves but whatever. They're supposed to be silk screening their own Camp Ashwood tee shirts today, so of course Cabin F got started and hogged all of the fucking silk screens. Because apparently, it's a lot more efficient for a boy to work on two tee shirts instead of one at a time.

"Hey, Isaac," El was nice at first. "Could you spare us a couple of silk screens? The girls kinda need 'em."

"Yeah," Isaac was not. "I don't think so."

"Excuse me?"

"Can't let you win, can I?" Isaac was mean. "I guess you'll have to manage, Elizabeth."

El wanted to shove a paintbrush up his dick right there and then, but she figured it wasn't the best way to solve that problem. This left Cabin A with three silk screens and with the time frame they had, it wouldn't be possible. It was hopeless.

Now, with three minutes left of arts & crafts, Cabin F is hanging their newly Camp Ashwood-fied tee shirts on the clothesline outside the arts & crafts hut. "Here," Isaac gestures to the pile of paint-covered silk screens. "All yours, ladies."

El bites her tongue. She doesn't need to stoop down to his level. Okay. She's fine. "Cabin A, how many tee shirts do we have done?" she asks, ignoring Isaac.

"Six," one of them says in defeat.

El wants to cry.

Just as they're about to start on their seventh, eighth, ninth, tenth, eleventh and twelfth tee shirts (as they now have enough silk screens for everyone; thanks to Isaac), Lionel bursts into the hut, yeilding a bright smile and a clipboard.

"So," Lionel says, clicking his pen. "Ready to see who won your very first arts & crafts activity?"

Lionel chooses the winners for each activity, if you haven't gathered yet. At the end of every one, he comes with his scoring sheet and judges whoever did the best and that's who he chooses. Of course, this goes into the overall score for the Ashes and the Woods and whoever wins the most, well, wins it all. It's pretty hectic, so El can't even begin to imagine how he manages to get from one activity to another without having a heart attack.

"No," El chokes out. "Lionel, we aren't done yet."

Isaac sniggers. "Lionel, why don't we give El a little more time? I can show you how Cabin F did first. Let's go outside."

"How very nice of you," El retorts, not looking up from the purple mess that she hopes looks like a Camp Ashwood tee shirt.

While Isaac leads Lionel outside, El frantically pushes the girls to bring out ten more tee shirts, so they can have at least one ugly shirt each. She looks down at her own shirt, which has a perfectly nice purple campfire on it. Then she looks at the shirts that they've basically splattered paint onto through a silk screen and she wants to burn herself in a campfire. "I'm sorry," she manages to the girls who have the same expressions that she's sure she also has on her face.

"Okay, El!" Lionel comes back with Isaac and Cabin F following closely behind him. "Your turn!"

El takes a deep breath, "Just give it to them, Lionel. We lose."

Isaac is giving her a smirk that makes that paintbrush-up-his-dick idea sound a lot more tempting.

"I'm sorry," Lionel glances at the heap of shirts covered in purple paint, then at El and he gives her a smile. "That's okay. It's your first time doing this as a counselor."

Isaac rolls his eyes.

"The Woods win this one!" Lionel scribbles onto his clipboard while Cabin F does this ridiculous cheer that makes them sound like rabid dogs (they might as well be). The boys parade out of the arts & crafts hut, hollering and fist-pumping and just being overall dickish.

"They cheated!" Brittany tells Lionel once they're gone. "They hogged all of the silk screens. That's like, so unfair."

"I know," Lionel says sympathetically. "But boys will be boys."

Something stirs up inside of El and it sure isn't pretty. "Sorry, Lionel? Boys will be boys? It's perfectly fine for them to cheat? Now that you mention that, back when we pressed flowers the last time I was here, the Ashes did perfectly well and the boys butchered their petals but somehow, they still won? Is this why the Woods have been winning for the past four years? Because boys will be boys?" She brings her hand to her forehead. She didn't know that she was so...emotionally invested in this. Or had such a huge stand on this kind of thing.

"El," for the first time Lionel looks like he's at a loss for words (at least he looks sorry, El thinks bitterly). "I was wrong. Sorry. I - I shouldn't have said that."

"So we win?" a Cabin A girl (Alicia?) asks.

"Sorry, you don't. Technically Cabin F did a better job than you. Better luck next time. But," he adds hastily when El clenches her fists. "I can make it up to you by sending a batch of Camp Ashwood shirts to your cabin. You don't have to silk screen them anymore. Deal?"

It's a lousy deal, but El is afraid that it won't get any better than this. She sighs, "deal."

⌚ 8:00 PM

After El settles Cabin A into bed (involving a whole lot of protests against the Woods and apologies and promises to do better tomorrow; she really like those girls, if she's honest with herself, but no one has to know that), she heads back to her own cabin. It's not easy, since it feels like multiple ants are gnawing between her legs, but she can manage. She just has to walk with her legs apart, that's all. She'll be fine.

But of course she has to bump into Isaac on her way.

"Hey!" he calls from behind her.

"Keep walking, El. Ignore him," she murmurs to herself.

"El!"

"Ignore."

"Poison ivy crotch!"

"Okay, fine," she turns around to find him a foot from her. "Hello! To whom do I owe the pleasure?"

"You're really making it obvious that you have poison ivy all up in -"

"Yeah I know," El places her hands on her hips. "What do you want?"

"I wanted to say sorry."

"Hilarious, Isaac," she faces the opposite way and stalks to her cabin. "Hilarious!"

"I'm serious," his footsteps continue behind her.

"Whatever," she can see the light of Cabin 7 now so she walks even faster. Doesn't a guy know when to leave a girl alone?

"Look El," and somehow Isaac is in front of her now, blocking her way. "I'm really sorry."

El takes a deep breath, examining him. He seems genuine enough. "Okay. Thanks."

"Really sorry that the Ashes are gonna lose again."

El may or may not have slapped Isaac across the face. There is a possibility.

⌚ 9:08

"Really?" Mari says. "Isaac did that? He can be such an A-class douchebag."

El nods tiredly. Earlier, she went into Cabin 5, expecting it to be empty so she could steal some more of Grace's calamine lotion and and sleep but instead, she was greeted with Grace, Sky, Louise and Mari talking about how they all won against the Woods. Louise asked how her day was and El went on to explain everything that happened and how much she hates life. (She leaves out how she's gotten a bit attached to her Cabin A girls, despite them being prissy and pretentious.) They're surprisingly supportive and this leaves El wondering if this whole Ashes versus Woods thing blurred the bright pink Grace-shaped line between her and them. Or if they're being genuinely nice to her. Except Grace, who's like, never been nice to her. Ever.

"Boys will be boys," Sky scoffs. "Why am I not surprised?"

"That's okay, El," Mari reassures her. "Better luck tomorrow, right?"

"She'll need it," Grace looks up from her perfectly manicured nails (that somehow held up even if she had archery today).

El can't decide whether she should channel her hate towards Grace or Isaac. There's enough for both, she concludes.

"I mean, Elizabeth can't even paint stupid tee shirts," Grace continues. "How about rock climbing? Or kayaking? Or basketball? Or -"

Louise elbows her, murmuring something. Grace scowls but doesn't say anything else.

"It's not your fault," Louise says. "Just...make sure you have a better chance of winning tomorrow?"

"Yeah...okay," El nods. "And I need to ask you something?"

Everyone except Grace looks intently at her.

"Um..." she trails off. "I was wondering if I could borrow some calamine lotion from any of you?"

"Why - oh," Mari says, her eyebrows drawn together in an expression that comes across as sympathetic but disgusted.

"Yeah."

Grace smirks, getting up to go to the bathroom. She comes out with the pink bottle in her hand and her smirk has reached epic proportions. "Aw, you're asking now?"

El refuses to blush. "How did you know...?"

"It was kinda obvious," Grace sneers as she tosses it to El. "I'm not stupid."

"You sure look like it."

"Oh, and you don't?"

"At least I don't fall off my bunk bed."

"Well I didn't lose to a Wood."

"It's my first day being a counselor!"

"If you weren't here, I wouldn't have this goddamn bunk bed and fallen off of it!"

"Your fault for choosing top bunk."

"My fault? Remind me again who picked you up from your house?"

"What does that have to do with anything?"

"Everything!"

"Girls," that's Louise. "Maybe we should go to bed. It's getting late." She glances at Sky and Mari, who are also very uneasy.

"Okay," Grace tears her eyes away from El, smiling to the others. "See you tomorrow, then." And to El, she adds in an undertone, "Make sure your vagina makes no contact with my bottle of calamine or I'm punching you right in your poison ivy."

_________________________________

a/n: this sucked bc i did not feel light and fluffy when i wrote this therefore it did not turn out light and fluffy. let's just hope i get into a better mood so i can write better yeah? anyway this is for elisa bc tay gets the gay and she's really fab (also bc somehow this book became a thing against misogyny like how idek it happens)