"Ugh! My aching tooth!"

"Why don't you go to the dentist already?"

"I am. I've got an appointment with her tomorrow morning. By the way, what's for supper?"

"I thought your tooth hurts."

"It does, but I'm still hungry. I'll be okay if I don't have to chew too much – no steak, no tacos, no chicken, no..."

"Yeah, I get it. I can make some soup or spaghetti."

"That sounds good."

"Which one – soup or spaghetti?"

"How about the soup first, no salad, then spaghetti?"

"Ugh!"

The next day at the dentist's office:

"So, doc, whatya think?"

"I think you're going to need a root canal. I can set something up for you with an oral surgeon. She's one of the best in the area. I highly recommend her."

"Thanks. The sooner I get this aching tooth fixed, the better."

A day later, at the oral surgeon's office:

Drill, drill, drill, and drill some more.

"Okay! I think we're done. The Lidocaine should wear off in a little while. Here's a sheet with instructions. If you have any problems with your tooth, you can call our office in the morning."

"Okay, thanks, doc!"

Later that night:

"OH! MY ACHING TOOTH!"

"Are you okay, dear?"

"NO! This is the worst pain I ever had in my whole life! This is about a hundred times worse than when I jammed my finger under the roller of the printing press."

"Printing press?"

"Yeah, I told you about it. I used to help my dad print signs and cards. It was a long time ago. The tip of my finger got squished to the thickness of a sheet of cardboard, just like in the cartoon when Wile E. Coyote gets flattened by a steam roller. It still hurts just thinking about it. Right now, this is more important. I've got to do something about this pain!"

"Why don't you take something for pain?"

"Why? I already have enough pain!"

"Well, it's good that you can joke about it."

"And yes, I took a boatload of ibuprofen."

"Didn't the doctor prescribe something stronger?"

"No, that's it. UGH!!!! THE PAIN IS UNBEARABLE! I'm seriously thinking about going to the emergency room. Maybe they can give me something."

"But, it's late, dear. If you can sleep it off, we can call the doctor in the morning."

"You know, it's amazing. The pain is so bad I'm able to tune it out. If I just lay back in bed and relax, I can tune it out."

"Good. And good night."

"Good night, dear."

The next morning, back at the oral surgeon's office:

"Whatya think, doc?"

"You have a cracked tooth with an infection. It'll have to come out. I'll refer you to a specialist."

The next day at the specialist's office:

"Oh yeah! That's gotta come out. Just a few tugs should do it."

Yank, yank... squeak... YANK!

"I don't think you'll want this anymore," said the master extractor as he tossed the molar into the trash – CLUNK!

Story and Cover Illustration Copyright © 2024 by Michael DeFrancesco