Louis

I didn't mean to tell her because I knew it wasn't her fault she didn't love me back. I loved her and it would mean the world if she loved me back, but I wasn't asking for the world. I wasn't expecting her to love me back. I was just inlove with her and that was it. I didn't want to tell her because I knew she wasn't ready to love yet and it might cause the bond I made with her to break. She might push me away and I wasn't ready for that yet. If friendship was all she could offer then I'd gladly take it and be contented. All I wanted was be there for her.

But when she told me I was just staying by her side because Harry f*cked up and I was just there to fix his sh*t, I lost it. I yelled it at her face and deeply regretted it.

After five months, I told her I loved her for the first time.

And probably the last.

I came by to inform her of something I was awfully saddened about, but I figured it was best not to tell her. Maybe it was for the best.

Eleanor

For a moment there, I thought the world stopped. My mind flashed thousands of thoughts that it went blank. My stomach flipped and was in knots and I couldn't even tell if it was a good thing.

"I-I..."

"You didn't see that one coming, huh?" Louis blankly asked, still gripping the doorknob then twisted it open. I wasn't able to form a coherent thought inside my mind, let alone a reply. I just stood there, staring at him. Completely and utterly stunned. "Just what I thought." he said before stepping out of the door and walking away.

I heard the roaring of the engine of his car until it sped off and faded away. And although the sound of his car left me in disappointment, I released the breath I didn't know I was holding in.

What was that? One moment we were fooling around, then the next he was halfway out the door?

"F*ck I love you, El!"

I blinked once. Twice. Thrice. Nope. Not dreaming. I put a hand on my chest and felt the rapid beating of my heart now starting to slow down.

Louis Tomlinson, what trick are you pulling on me?

**

The next day, I hadn't heard anything from Louis; no calls, no texts, no anything. I should've expected this. I practically stared at him without saying anything after he told me he loved me, why would he bother talking to me?

But in all honesty, I really didn't know what to feel. I didn't know what I do feel since it was the first time someone told me they loved me, except my bestfriend Max but that was another case. Even my parents never told me they loved me as far as I could remember, so for someone to tell me they did for the very first time, I didn't know how to react.

I pushed all my thoughts away and continued my day that for some f*cked up reason, was missing something I couldn't quite put a finger on.

Shut up, Eleanor. You know very well what that is. Or who that is.

I decided to call Max because it had been a while a while since I had talked to him (I talked to him the other day) and even though it might be a bad idea (Max was never a love guru, it took him forever to tell a girl he liked her), I'd ask his opinion about this whole thing. Then maybe I'd know what to do.

"Hello to my most favorite person in the world!" he cheered.

"Hello to you too, assh*le."

"--but most of the time turns into my least favorite person, too. The f*ck, Eleanor?"

"You said you'd call me last night!"

"Well, um, something came up--" there was a sudden shuffling in the background, then I heard a faint feminine voice said, "Last night was great. I'd see you around, pretty boy." then I heard a door slam shut.

"You mean someone? You ditched me for a shag, you dimwit!" I laughed, "You finally grew some balls! And did she just say 'last night was great'? OMG I mean no, don't answer that! It's gross. I'm not interested about your um, activities." I rambled.

He groaned, "Did you just call me to ask me about my 'activities'?"

"Ew, no. I just told you, I'm not interested."

"Eleanor, you're rambling about it," he chuckled. "Anyway, Louis isn't with you, is he?"

My brows furrowed, "How did you know?"

"Well, the only time you remember me is when he's not with you."

"That's not true! I always call you!" I argued.

"Eleanor babe, I call you, you just answer my calls. The only time you call me is when I forget to call you. And the only time you remember I didn't call is when Louis' not around, which happens to be today." he explained. I didn't even notice that it was like that.

"I'm sorry." I sadly blurted out.

"Nah, don't fret 'bout it. I'm not mad. I'm actually happy you have someone with you when I'm not around," he sighed. "I'm surprised he hasn't confessed yet." he said, too quietly that I bet he wasn't expecting me to hear. But I did.

"Y-you knew?"

"What?"

"Louis. You knew he..."

"Likes you? Please, Eleanor, anyone with two functioning eyes can see clearly that guy's so into you," he scoffed before realization dawned on him, "Sh*t, he confessed, didn't he? Is that why you called?"

"That's the thing, Max, he said he didn't like me..." I trailed off.

"Bullsh*t. Did you believe him? That's a f*cking lie--"

"He said he loves me."

"--he's f*cking -- wait he what?" he paused to let it sink in before asking, "I'm sorry but I don't see what's the problem?"

"He isn't here, Max. He hasn't texted and called me since he walked out on me. I blew it all up! I just pushed away that one person who cared about me!" I cried out.

"Why did he walk out on you?"

"Because I said nothing. He told me he loves me and I just stood there like a complete idiot!"

"And you're wondering why he hasn't called you."

"Max, you're supposed to help me!"

"Did you try contacting him?"

"No."

"Then do it."

"What if he rejects the call? What if he hates me?"

"Did you reject him yesterday?"

"No, I told you I didn't say anything!"

"Exactly. He hasn't done anything yet you're assuming. He's probably thinking the same thing since you know, you didn't say anything."

"But what should I say? Max, I don't even know what to feel about it! No one ever told me they loved me, I didn't know how to react."

"Hey now, I tell you I love you."

"You're an alien, you're a different case."

"But you always tell me you love me back, anyway."

"Max! Just help me out, okay?!" I yelled out.

"Jeez, calm your t*ts," he huffed, "Just be honest with him, okay? Tell him what you feel. I know you like him, anyway, so." he probably shrugged.

I frowned, how could he say I liked Louis? I couldn't even tell myself, "You don't know that."

"Just tell him how you feel before it's too late. Before you both push each other away just because of uncertainties. Before he imagine the worst, just like what you're doing. He told you what he felt, Eleanor, it's just fair that you tell him yours." I imagined him smirking. This as*hole! Where did he get all that? "Anyway, I gotta go. I'll talk to you tomorrow, okay? Take care. I love you and I miss you so much."

"Thank you for everything. And Max?" he hummed, "Love you, too." I said before I hung up.

I wondered what it felt like to tell it back to Louis.

I blinked. What did I just say? I shook my head. I guess I was just missing him.

I tapped on my phone, searching for Louis' number. I guess I had to be the one to call him first since I was the one at fault.

My fingers hovered over the call button beside his number but I just couldn't get myself to tap it. I still didn't know what to say. Max told me to tell him how I felt, but the thing was, I didn't know what I felt. All I knew was that I didn't want him pushing me away. The bond we created was just too precious to be broken. I didn't know if I loved him yet but as selfish as it sounded, I wanted him to stay -- I didn't want him gone.

But it dawned me that that was my honest feelings. That was what I felt and that was what I should be telling Louis, hoping he'd understand.

I finally called his number and bit my nail in anxiousness. I expected a ringing to flood through my ears but what I heard was the voice saying I couldn't make that call. His phone was off.

I tried calling the other boys, even Harry, because I figured he was with them but all ended up the same. Their phones were off.

I felt the pit of my stomach churned; something wasn't right. I tapped my foot on the ground a couple of times while trying to think of ways on how I could get ahold of him.

I scrolled through my contacts and I thanked the heavens when I saw Jay's name.

"Hello?" I greeted hurriedly right after I heard her answer.

"Eleanor!" it wasn't Jay who answered, and she sounded confused, "It's Lottie. Aren't you supposed to be her--"

The other line was a bit noisy and there was a lot of chatterings and sounds I couldn't make out.

"Eleanor, dear?" I heard another voice replacing Lottie's and I guess Jay moved into some place more quiet because the noise died down.

"Jay! Is Louis there with you? I tried calling him but his phone was off and so are the other boys' and I couldn't--"

"Hun, slow down," she cut in, "He's with me but -- Louis would probably hate me for this but I couldn't just not let you know."

"Know what?" my heart started pounding rapidly inside my chest. I heard a sound, it was an intercom after that three key sound. Why are they at the--

She sighed, "We're at the airport, Eleanor. Their flight for the tour leaves in an hour."

My heart dropped, "W-what?"

"Louis doesn't want anyone to tell you. Something bad happened between you two?"

He was leaving and he intended on not letting me know. He'd be gone for God knows how long but he never told me.

Just when I was about to tell him I didn't want him gone.

"Jay I-- I need to see him.I gotta go." I asked her the exact airport before I hung up, rushed to my car and drove away.

But the universe seemed to be against my favor because I was stuck in traffic for half an hour making me yell a colorful language because I almost didn't make it but I arrived five minutes before their departure.

I looked every direction to search for that feathery haired boy and that fringe I was always fond of but my heart dropped even more when I saw none.

Tears were brimming in my eyes when I thought of the possibility that I had lost him. And I never got the chance to tell him I cared for him enough that I was scared he'd leave.

"C'mon! Where are they?!" I uttered to myself in frustration.

"Eleanor!" I heard a girl's voice.

I turned around and my eyes fell on Daisy along with a group of people. It was Harry's, Liam's , Zayn's and Niall's family with Danielle, Perrie, Jay and her girls.

But the boys weren't with them.

I ran quickly to them, swallowing the lump on my throat, not letting go of that slight hope that I'd see Louis though he was already nowhere in sight. "Where is he? Where are they?" I said as I tried to control my heavy breaths.

They just all gave me sad looks as they sniffled quietly.

"No, no, no." I said in a hushed voice.

"Just tell him how you feel before it's too late."

My tears then began to fall. I was too late.

Dani, Perrie and Jay began comforting me though they were crying themselves. Gemma and Anne just gave me sad glances like they wanted to comfort me but couldn't.

Just when I thought I had lost that one person who loved me, I heard Phoebe shout.

"Louis!"

My head perked up as fast as lightning and I turned to look at the direction she was pointing to, which was behind me, and indeed Louis was there.

"Mum, the flight will be delayed for-- Eleanor?" he said in a surprised tone, but then he groaned, "I told them not to tell you!"

His face suddenly softened when he saw my face that probably was projecting the hurt I felt.

"Sorry, I--" he looked up behind me where everyone was before sighing and tugging me in a corner, far enough from all the commotion, "I'm sorry I just-- why are you crying?" he said as he wiped my tears away.

"I'm sorry." I said as I continued to cry.

"Don't cry, love." He said while looking straight to my eyes.

"Louis, I'm sorry." I apologized once again as I fiddled with my fingers.

"For what?"

"For not saying anything. When you told me you love me, I just stood there," I wiped another stray tear, "I should've tell you what I feel even though I still wasn't sure what it is."

"It's fine, El." he said as he put both of his hands on my shoulders. "Stop crying, I hate seeing you cry."

I wiped my tears once again before sniffling, "It's not fine, Louis." I sighed before looking up at his beautiful eyes, "I'm sorry for being oblivious to your feelings. I'm sorry for not telling you what I felt when you just poured your heart out on me. No one ever told me they loved me. So when you did, I didn't know how to react. But I don't want us to push each other away just because of the uncertainties so I'm telling you now what I feel.

"Honestly, I don't know, Louis. All I know is that I don't want you gone. This bond we have," I gestured between us, "I don't want it broken. I care for you, Louis. So much, that the idea of you leaving thinking that loving me was your biggest mistake breaks me. I don't want to lose you." I said, letting it all out. It just hit me how much I really cared about Louis. The feeling came crashing down on me with such intensity after I let all those words out.

He took a sharp breath but didn't say anything.

"I didn't know you love me, Lou. But I felt it. I knew I did." I said quietly.

He leaned in and for a second I though he was going to kiss me, but he just rested his forehead on mine then closed his eyes. He was awfully quiet and it was killing me because he might want to end whatever he had right then and there and I just couldn't afford to lose him.

"You don't know how much that means to me." he opened his eyes and I never knew looking at those this close could possibly take one's breath away because mine almost was, "I love you and I'm not expecting you to love me back. I'm not forcing you to. I love you and that's it. You won't lose me, El. I may be leaving but my heart will always stay with you."

My heart raced with happiness because of his words. If this was what it felt to be loved, then it just made me hold on to Louis' words even more.

"You just made me fall inlove with you even more. God, El, you make me never wanna leave." he whispered due to our proximity, his breath hitting my face making me flutter my eyes closed for a while.

When I opened them I noticed that his eyes were trained on my lips intently and my heart pounded harder in my chest.

"Stop me now, El. Or I won't be able to later." he uttered.

But I didn't want to.

So when he hesitantly leaned in, my eyes fell on his lips and I met him halfway, my eyes automatically shutting close again.

His thin lips lips met mine in such a delicate way I never knew he had in him. He cradled my face like I was a precious and fragile and a little bit more pressure would make me break.

I finally hooked my arms on his shoulders and carded my fingers through the hair on the back of his head and kissed him with so much passion that stirred inside me. I kissed him with the intensity I never knew was there and just needed a little nudge to ignite the fire. My insides flipped and my heart suddenly craved for more, for him.

We pulled away and he once again rested his forehead on mine as he smiled.

As soon as I saw his smile, that smile that I was accustomed to, that smile that I never knew what meant, I felt like my heart wanted to explode because of how rapid it was beating. I finally knew what that smile meant.

It means: I love you.

I giggled. I was so happy -- that happiest I had ever been.

"This is the final boarding call for passengers Louis Tomlinson, Niall Horan, Harry Styles, Zayn Malik and Liam Payne booked on flight 345A..." the intercom blasted out, popping the little bubble we were in, announcing that the flight would leave in fifteen minutes.

He pulled away and again, my tears were ready to fall down. I wished I could just stop the time and be in that moment forever.

He took my hand as we walked out of the little corner and saw that the other boys went out of the plane as well to spend a little more time with their families and girlfriends. Then I suddenly felt bad because I stole Louis' little time left with his family. But as Jay smiled at me, like she knew we worked whatever problem we had out, I immediately knew she didn't mind.

They all hugged and kissed their families and Zayn and Liam went to comfort their crying girlfriends and I could tell that they were holding back tears too.

Louis walked back to me and hugged me tight, nuzzling his nose on my hair and sniffing it making me giggle.

"Why are you sniffing my hair?"

"It smells nice." He smiled.

The realization that he was about to leave sank in and my smile fell into a sad look, "I'm going to bloody miss you."

"I know you are," he said pressing a kiss on my forehead, "But me too. So d*mn much." he said, still holding me close. "But I'm going to call you everyday, you won't even notice I was gone."

"Promise?" I asked.

He smiled as he put his fist up with his pinky finger sticking out, just like what I did ages ago. I tangled mine with his, "Pinky promise." said he.

"You better keep that promise, Tomlinson, or I'm gonna need to cut your pinky finger off." I threatened.

"Ah, ah, no need to be all violent now. My sisters might hear." he said teased, gesturing to his sisters behind me. I turned around to see that they were all staring at us making me flush. I decided to hide it by burying my face on Louis' torso "Aww c'mon you made her shy away. Don't you have somewhere else to look at? This isn't a TV show!" he playfully yelled at them making me flush even more.

"Lou," I whined, drawling out his name making him chuckle.

"I was just messing around, love. Now let me see your.beautiful face," he said, hooking his fingers on my chin to look up at him, "There we go."

"Goodluck on your shows. Don't drink cold water. Do good." I advised.

"Oh, trust me, I already had my lucky charm a while ago," he said while wiggling his eyebrows, pertaining about the kiss. I rolled my eyes at him and he hugged me once again, tighter than before. "I'm gonna miss you so much. But I'll be back. I'll always be back for you."

And my heart once again soared.

"C'mon, Tommo, you have to let go sometime soon if you don't want the plane leaving us." I heard Liam say.

"Shut your trap, Payno. No one's asking for your opinion." he shot back, not minding that Liam's parents were there. But eventually he pulled away.

The other guys went to hug me, Harry included, but his was a little bit awkward than the others and Louis soon pulled me by his side as soon as the hug was over.

"Take care of yourself, okay? Always lock the doors of your house and call me if anything goes wrong. Always answer my calls." he reminded.

"Louis, you're the one leaving, not me. And you're not my mum." I laughed.

"Just making sure." he said, not moving from where he was while the other guys were starting to walk away.

"You need to go, Louis. The plane will leave you." I said.

"Ugh, it's so hard to leave when all I wanna do is drive us back to your house and cuddle. But yeah I guess," he said taking few steps back but not letting my hand go until it was far enough that we were out of reach, then he slowly slipped out of my fingers making my heart drop again. "I love you." he mouthed before blowing me a kiss and waving back before turning around to board the plane.

I get why he didn't say goodbye. Goodbyes are for people who wouldn't be coming back.

And he said he'd come back for me.

Some words were lingering on my tongue begging to be said but I wasn't sure what those were and before I could finally put the pieces all together, Louis was already out of sight, leaving a hole in my heart.

I guess I was gradually figuring out what my feelings were.

A/N: IT WASN'T SUPPOSED TO END THIS WAY! YOU LITTLE MINX YOU'RE PROLLY PRAYING I WRITE FLUFFY STUFFS! It was supposed to be drama and tbh I really hate the beggining. I was like should I continue this shizz but then that happened. Anyway like my facebook page called Shipping Elounor and tweet me @sassiestlwt. I have another Elounor book called Words Within A Photograph also my upcoming Sophiam and Zerrie one-shots. The Sophiam one has part 1 posted already, so check them all out :)

REMEMBER YOU ARE PRECIOUS, YOU ARE BEAUTIFUL, YOU ARE LOVED, YOU MATTER AND YOU DESERVE SOMEONE TELLING YOU THAT ON A DAILY BASIS, OKAY? Now love me back and tap on that lil star. And all the other stars on the previous chapters. Get me to 1K votes!! THAT WOULD BE AWESOME!