You were mentioned in the last chapter as what kept me going. I have a few things to say to you.

Thank you.

Fuck you.

Why.

For over a year I was completely devoted to you. My every action was dedicated to you. Everything you ever mentioned I'd look into. Every word you said I hung on to. You are the reason for my best and worst moments. I hate you. I loved you. I still hate you. I no longer love you. But still, you're perfect. I'm undeserving of your kindness, your forgiveness, your everything. You were the light of my life.

But not anymore.

You are the one who dragged me into hell. Even though you didn't see me, I thought, no, knew I was too fat so I ate less. You outshined me so much I couldn't stand to look at myself. Such crude, inconsiderate, bitchy behavior was unforgivable compared to you. So I hid everything and pretended to be as carefree as you. But I never could be. I molded myself over and over again trying to be someone you'd like. It caused me most of the problems listed in the previous chapter.

But you still saved me.

So thank you.

But fuck you.

(If you want to you can say who you are. Everyone can know now, but if you don't want people knowing, that's okay.)