I'm sorry about my outburst. I'm starting to have them more frequently. Everything gets blurry and all that's left is me, my phone, and anger and frustration fueling my every move. I half want to go to sleep and never wake up again. For me, sleep is a comforting darkness. After all, I feel most comfortable in a dimly lit room where I can barely see ahead of me. But that would be useless. My unlimited potential would go to waste and my life would effect nothing. I need to leave some sort of legacy. I can't just dissappear into the cold grasp of history never to be seen again. No that can't happen. You know, I read a zodiac sign thing a while ago. One of them said that my emotions were like a Pandora box. I can't help but agree. Before, they were safety locked and I had complete control over them. Some of you saw what I was like before. I was over more pleasant to be around. Then, something inside me cracked. I  passed the limit of how much bullshit I could take. I don't know what to do now. I blank out and don't have control over how I react. I usually break something, hence the reason I have so many broken pencils. Sometimes I just yell and scream and fight back the urge to cry. When it happens at school I can't pay attention. I just sit there breaking pencil, repair them, and break them the next week. That's the best way I can control myself so I don't hurt other people. I'm sorry if I have a lot of chapters like this, I just want to apologize for lashing out.