Okay. My emotions are really mixed up right now and I need to rant. First, some backstory.

There was a wonderful lady I know. Let's call her Joy because that's how I knew her. Always happy. Never sad. Always laughing. She was so nice and I begged to see her on a daily basis. My mom happily obliged since this was her friend since high school. She taught me skills I'd use for the rest of my life. She taught me how to braid hair, cook mac and cheese and a multitude of other things. She was like my aunt. Then one day she dissappeared. I was around 8 years old and I knew her since I was born. She might even of been my godmother, but I forget. I never forgot her. Two or three years later I found out she ran away with her boyfriend. I kept on missing her and wondering why she ran away until a few days ago. My mom finally told me what happened to her. She told me everything.

Joy had manic depressive disorder, also known as bipolar disorder. She also have anxiety and a lot of others that I can't remember.

I knew her while she was on one of her highs. I never saw her on her lows. On one of her highs she ran away and I never saw her again.

Now all I know is that she's gone and can't work anymore doe to her unstable mental state.

Now this brings me to the self diagnos part.

People say they have everything, from depression to ADHD. This is my opinion on it.

IF YOU HAVEN'T GONE TO A DOCTOR DON'T SAY YOU HAVE SOMETHING!!!!!

For me, the likely hood of having ADHD and anxiety are extremely high due to genetics, but I still don't say I have it even though I have most of the symptoms. Why? Because I don't have a doctor's word. I don't give a shit if you're the cookie cutter person for whatever you have, it's all bullshit unless a doctor confirms it. And if they say you don't have it BELIEVE THEM!!!! THEY'RE MORE EXPERIENCED THAN THE DAMN INTERNET!!!!!!!! I'm sorry, but this had always bothered me and now that I've seen someone self diagnos them self with something that really effected me, made me really angry. If you're so sure you have depression, go to a doctor! Don't wallow in self pity. Rant over.