If you've ever seen me when I'm extremely sad you know my biggest fear. If not, it's being forgotten. I desperately try to stay in people's minds, but no matter what, I always fade from them. I read every single post, and follow every single account, but everything I do is useless because I already know I'm forgotten.

Now, you're probably wondering why I feel this way. For years I've been forgotten. My own family is barely aware of my presence. I'm not exaggerating either. I've been left home alone due to someone's forgetfulness too many time to count.

My brother helps out with it too. He's extremely high maintenance. If you leave him alone you'll come back to find a new scratch in the table. I try to be the best at things to gain their attention, but it only earns a few seconds of approval.

That's just with my home life. At school, there was 3 years where I had zero close friends. I had some that I talked to during gym, but they barely even noticed my presence.

In those 3 years is when I joined most of my fandoms. I'd finish my homework, and then lock myself in my room and read. I'd read for hours at a time. On Saturday, I read for 16 hours. I didn't do anything but read.

Then I moved back to my hometown. I was still invisible for 2 year. Then I went to girl scout camp. There's something about being forced to live with people you don't even know that forces you to climb out of your shell. For the first time in years I made friends. And then when camp ended, we were dragged away from eachother, never to meet again.

Back at school, I take a deep breath and did what I did at camp. I shoved myself into the spotlight and forced myself to be noticed. However, the spotlight us still pushed on to other people. But some of my friends do notice me. I even have a best friend (that told my friend that I'm her friend, not theirs. I happen to know that that girl is extremely depressed so I'll talk to her today) that I love to death.

However on wattpad things aren't so peachy. Everyone I love is either never on, or moved on from me and is in another friend group. I've given up trying to save lost friendships. Maybe I'll find some new ones. Maybe new one are already found. Maybe I should start focusing more on what happens here in Mass instead of over the internet. Idk what to do. I just know that I told you the back story of why I'm scared of being forgotten.