"I'm pregnant."

His eyes darted to me in an instant. His iris shone; his smile bright. Mabilis niyang iniwan ang laptop para hawakan ang mga palad ko.

"You're not joking?" He confirmed with an excited voice.

I bit my lower lip to stifle a cry and then shook my head.

Binalot ako ng mainit na yakap niya pagkatapos. He was very happy. He was mumbling a lot of things. Things I could not comprehend. My mind is not working. It has stopped functioning.

In a time like this, I would expect myself to be as merry as him. I would probably share his warmth and would feel like I have won the biggest lottery. But then, it's not the case. It will never be the case for us.

"I love you," maesmosiyong usal niya matapos akong hagkan sa labi.

I, on the other hand, could not meet his eyes.

We were both trembling, but both have different reasons. He's ecstatic, while I am scared.

Imagine ruining the dream of your man? Imagine disclosing a thing that would certainly end your relationship. Something that would make him turn his back on you. Something that would result for him to disgust you. And something that would surely kill you inside.

"It's not yours..." mahina kong pag-amin.

Napatigil siya sa pagngisi at pagsasalita habang hawak ang mga balikat ko. Sinilip niya akong nakayuko nang may kunot na noo. His black eyes were full of wonders.

"Huh? What did you say, babe? I did not hear you."

"It's not yours," ulit ko saka nag-iwas ng tingin.

His movements stopped. I did not dare look why. I don't have to.

Dumaloy ang luha mula sa kaliwang mata ko. Hinayaan ko iyon sapagkat ayaw kong matanggal ang kamay niya sa braso ko.

Baka iyon na ang huli. Pagkatapos nito, baka hindi niya na ako kayang hawakan, o 'di kaya'y tignan man lang. He would probably wish me to go away and never come back. To never appear in his eyes again.

"A-Ano'ng sinasabi mo?" Mahina, hindi pa nakapagproseso na untag niya.

His hand became weak and it miserably fell from my arm. I fought the urge to reach for it. To hold it tight and to give in to the impulse of explaining whatever I can.

"You were cheating behind my back?" He voiced in disbelief.

Ramdam ko ang unti-unting namumuong galit niya. I trembled as I hold on tightly to my shirt.

"With whom?" He added with spite in his voice.

I bit my lower lip hard. Nagtuloy-tuloy ang pag-agos ng luha ko at hindi nagawang mag-angat ng tingin sa kaniya. I simply shook my head.

Hindi ko kayang sagutin iyon. Hindi ko alam kung paano sasagutin.

"Let's stop this," I painfully decided, instead.

He just stood in front of me. I could guess that he's looking at me sarcastically. Like I was taking him as a joke.

"What did I do to you?" May poot na tanong niya.

Wala akong naisagot kung hindi hikbi. He did nothing wrong. He did nothing.

This is all in my part.

"Gagawin mo akong tanga. Nasisiyahan ka ba?" May pang-iinsulto na ngayon sa tinig niya.

I started crying so hard while he was just standing in front of me. I couldn't tell what was happening inside his head. If he wants to hit me, I would understand. If he wants to hurt me, I will never fight back. But he remained standing, almost petrified.

This was what I was afraid all this time. Ang magalit siya sa akin. Not even once did he raise his voice on me. Even now, he did not dare. But his words were cutting my soul deep. Like it grew fangs and dug deep into my heart.

The pain I have inflected him is beyond measurable. I will never claim that it does not break him. I know him. I know how my every decision would affect him. And tonight, I am crushing his heart.

"What did I do, Isla? Hindi mo na ba ako mahal?" Halos namamos na tanong niya. "Ganoon na lang 'yon?" Mapait niyang dagdag.

"Tristan, let's just stop, please," nahihirapan kong pakiusap.

I can't think of any solution but to stop. Wala nang patutunguhan ito.

"You're married to me!" He yelled as if I was a mad woman who forgot that.

Mas lalong tumindi ang hikbi ko hanggang sa mapaupo na ako sa sahig dahil sa kawalan ng lakas.

I didn't wanna hurt him. I didn't want it to be this way. But what could I do? There is a life sprouting inside of me. This is not something I can just erase with one tap.

"I'm sorry," iyak ko.

I know sorry would do nothing, but I have nothing else to say. I am out of words. Or maybe I just don't know the exact words.

He looked at me so mercilessly. His rage was burning clear. He had no intention of forgiving me, I can see that. And I don't care. I deserve the hate. I deserve all of it.

"Stand up," he coldly commanded.

Hindi ako tumayo. It's not that I don't want to, I just can't find the strength.

"Stand the fucking up, Isla," mariin niyang ulit.

Nanatili akong nakaupo. I couldn't find my strength. I couldn't face his growing wrath. I couldn't even pay much attention to the way he spoke.

"You're not leaving. I'll show you how it feels to be cheated. I'll teach you how it looks to be deceived," walang-awa niyang turan.

Umawang ang labi ko at humihikbi na tumitig sa kaniya. He stared, too. His eyes, both cold and burning. I never knew that was even possible.

"Stand up," muling aniya bago ako ako puwersahang hinatak patayo.

"Tristan, please," pakiusap ko habang mahigpit niyang hawak ang aking braso.

Hindi siya nakinig at patuloy na naglakad. Dinala niya ako sa kuwarto at pabagsak na inupo sa kama. My tears were streaming wild as my heart began to violently bang my chest.

"Please..."

He ruthlessly stared at me. His eyes gave me that burning rage of someone that has been mistreated. Someone that has been cheated on.

"I can't be the only one, Isla. It's not fair."