After a few days of moping around and avoiding my mom, I decided to pay her a visit. Not being in the mood to see Tiffany yet, I was hoping that she wasn't home. Knowing her, she was probably spending quality time with the man who abandoned us. Her loyalty was misplaced.

When I didn't see Tiffany's beat up Sedan in the driveway, I was relieved. I knocked on the door, shuffling through my collection of keys, trying to find the magic one. Nerves began to get the best of me as I finally unlocked the door. Was my mom going to hate me? Would she be upset? Will she feel betrayed? These questions circulated in my mind as I searched for her through the quiet house.

Feeling a breeze as I stepped into the kitchen, I noticed that the side door was open. There were dishes piled up in the sink which immediately stopped me in my tracks. As long as I've been born, my mother has instilled in us to never go to sleep with a sink full of dishes. The rationale for this was never explained, and Tiffany and I never questioned it. Wondering just what kind of mental state my mother was in, I stepped outside to see her sitting on a bench in the center of her garden. A basket lay next to her filled with juicy tomatoes and avocados. The big mango tree that I use to climb as a kid was providing much needed shade as I approached her. The grass crunching under my feet, yet I could still hear my heart pounding with each step.

The light that usually lit up her face when she saw me was dim on this day. My heart bean to ache. Did this break her? Should I have kept it from her?

"Hey baby, you're getting bigger by the day," she said, tapping the bench next to her to tell me sit down.

I took a seat next to her. Leaving enough space just in case this conversation took a turn for the worse.

"Mom...I..."

She lifted her hand to cut me off, "Why didn't you and your sister tell me about that man reaching out to you?"                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                   I was taken aback by her tone. She wasted no time coming for my head.

"I didn't know anything about it until the gender reveal, why do you seem upset with me?"

"That man doesn't deserve a second of your time. You're pregnant, you don't need to be upset."

She turned to face me, "Vanessa, if I thought that man would bring you any peace, I would encourage you to speak to him. But he won't."

It was easy for her to say. I've been missing my father since the day he walked out. Thinking I wasn't good enough after seeing all the other kids with their dads. I needed answers. I needed this.

"He said you kept him away." I blurted out.

"I did," She said as she crossed her arms.

 I couldn't believe this. My mom was one of the reason I went all these years without him?

"But why mom? He told us about the teacher, he still wanted to be there for us!"

"He left us and went and married that homewrecker! And had the audacity to have more kids with her!"

The big vein in the middle of her forehead began to protrude and I knew it was best for me to stop pressing her. The questions I had would not be answered today. Her emotions were still so raw, as if this had happened yesterday.

"Mom, I'm not trying to upset you, I'm just trying to understand."

She stood up, "You won't. Until you have your own kids you don't know the lengths you'd go to protect them!"

I didn't know rather to take this as wise words from my mother or as an insult.

She went on to tend to her garden that she took so much pride in. I said my good-byes, feeling defeated and disappointed.

My stomach growled as I backed out of the driveway, so I ended up at Publix to buy a chicken tender sub. I had to have at least one a week. This baby had me wanting just about everything. I also had some time to kill until my maternity yoga class that I've been taking up to relieve stress.

Thankfully, it was a little before the lunch rush and I was able to place my order quickly. 

"You want it to be toasted longer than the usual time right Ms. Vanessa?" The Publix associate asked. 

"Yes please," I said as I stepped to the side.

Pulling out my cell phone, I strolled through the apps trying to determine which one I wanted to open to pass time. That's when I heard a familiar voice say my name. Spontaneously, I felt the butterflies in my stomach. There was no need to turn around to verify his identify. I knew it was Fred.