⚠️TRIGGER WARNING⚠️ this one shot has very detailed scenes with self harm, although they are not 'real'. It also talks about feeling out of place, and like this world is not real, which I know can trigger a lot of people with paranoi, DID, anxiety and more. Please read at your own risk and if you do read enjoy, if not it's your choice!! Love you all!

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"You're going to be ok" Tony heard voices, but he could t pin point their location.

"Why tony?" A broken voice asked and he suddenly found himself in a strange room. A stinging alerted him to his wrists. Large horizontal lines were carved into them and blood was dripping down his hands. When did I do this?

The scene switched and he was in a weird auditorium, it seemed to be his old middle school but different. His wrists were bandaged, he noticed Rhodes, Natasha and Bruce about twenty rows in front. The rest of the seats were filled by random people. He looked to his left and saw Steve, he didn't say anything and kept looking forwards. The 'bell' rang and he got up, although he didn't remember moving. I have to get to Italian, why? He turned to the left and headed up the stairs. He met Clint along the way and they walked together.

"Yeah so it was so weird right?"

"Yeah haha, so weird" Tony responded not understanding the conversation. When he reached the top he realized he was in some kind of observatory. There was a massive telescope and everyone had clipboards ready to write. Not italian.

He turned and jumped down, to discover the five story tower was actually about three feet off the ground. He landed softly and ran, ducking behind a curtain he raced out into the lobby. Passing. The security desk and taxi up the stairs to the right. Before he stepped up the scene switched and he was back in the first room.

He woke up panting, almost as if he had actually been running.

"What the fuck" he swore, he had no idea what just happened but it felt real.

Tony turned and kicked his legs off the edge of the bed resting his elbows on his knees and his face in his hands.

Why did he feel like this? Like what, I don't know how I feel. Wait why don't I know how I feel, like I actually can't pinpoint my emotion.

"Sir, are you alright?" Asked Jarvis.

"Yeah" he stood on shaky legs, " let's get to work"

He walked out of his room after changing and stopped by the kitchen for coffee.

"Hey Tony" Steve greeted, "sleep well"

"No" Tony mumbled hitting the button for dark roast.

"Why?" Steve asked, putting the butter away and giving tony his full attention.

"I don't know, like I physically can not pinpoint how I feel cap. I had a weird dream" I slit my own wrists and now it feels like I need to. I don't want to die, I don't even want to self harm. Why do I feel like I need to. Maybe if I do I can escape this reality and find the real one. Why am I so anxious all of a sudden, god my chest is so tight.

"Tony?" Steve asked, "you with me"

"I- Don't know" he muttered, grabbing his coffee and leaving for the lab.

"That was definitely weird" Steve said to himself.

"What was weird?" Natasha asked from behind him.

"Oh hey. Tony, He said he had a weird dream and can't pinpoint his emotion. Then he kind of just zoned out, I asked if he was with me as a joke and he said I don't know"

"We should keep an eye on him, Clinton I disabled the security last week to the vents above the lab. I got bored"

A quiet ok was heard from the ceiling and the a series of suffering noises.

"Is he always up there?"

"Most of the time yes" Natasha sighed brewing her coffee.

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"Jarvis, I know you can't dream but hypothetically if a dream made me feel so unreal that I feel the pressing urge to slit my own wrists to leave and find reality, would that be a symptom of an underlying disease or condition" Tony asked, it had been a half hour after he got into the lab and he hadn't done a single thing. He forced himself to figure out the problems but his mind kept wandering to the dream and the urge. God the urge was strong and he didn't know why, he wanted to live. He just wanted it to be real.

"Sir, I'm afraid I don't know the answer, talking to someone might help"

"I'm taking to you"

"Yes but I can't take physical form, find someone you can look at sir"

"Alright, later I have to work"

"No offense sir, but I don't think you're going to get anything done today, just take the day off"

"Maybe Jarvis, maybe"

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Clint decided he was gonna be a little bitch.
First he recorded Tony's question to Jarvis, that was to give Steve and Natasha to show he actually did what they asked. The he decided to have some fun. Tony said he didn't feel real.

"Wake up" he whispered from the ceiling. Natasha has made sure that Jarvis couldn't detect sounds and movement within the vents Over the lab.

"Wake up Tony" he said a little louder. He heard a wrench drop and looked down. Tony was standing pin straight. Breathing heavy.

"Wake up tony we miss you" he said again. But this time when he looked Tony was curled up on the floor with his head in his hands. He was rocking himself back and forth and seemed to be talking to himself.

Shit maybe Clint screwed up. He climbed as fast as he could to find cap and Natasha.

"Guys I fucked up" he yelled dragging them by the arms towards the lab. "Bruce you come too"

"Ok what's happening"

"God I'm an idiot, I was listening and watching over tony. I heard him ask Jarvis a question, that I recorded so you can listen later, and he said something about not feeling real and like this wasn't reality so my dumbass decided so whisper 'wake up tony, we miss you' repeatedly from the ceiling and now he's pulling his hair out in a ball on the floor muttering to himself" Clint gasped, and pushed the lab doors open.

"Clint why the hell" Natasha asked shooting him a threatening glance. He stepped back and watched Steve and Bruce run to Tony's shaking form.

"Tony hey it's me Bruce and Steve's here too, this is real feel my hand on your back, feel me squeeze your shoulder. Feel cap lift you up. He's walking you out of the lab and towards the real living room."

"Tony it's Steve, you are real. You are here."

"R-real?" Tony cried out, violently shaking.

"Yeah tony you are real, I am real, Bruce is real, Natasha's real. Everything is real even clints' stupidity"

"Clint go get blankets and Natasha can you order in please, it's dinner time"

"Steve, I- in my dream I slit my wrists, I don't remember doing it but I did because I had the scars. Then a whole bunch random shit happened and I have felt like I need to do it in real life now. I don't l know why, I don't want to hurt myself I don't want to die."

"Tony" Bruce said gently. "It was just a dream, probably and anxiety dream, whose effects carried on into your waking state, causing a state of anxious unrest that you can't pinpoint. The anxiety isn't your normal type so it was hard for you to explain it, even to yourself"

"Oh" tony said curling into Steve's chest. "I'm scared to sleep now"

"Are you tired?" Steve asked threading his fingers through Tony's hair.

"Hmm" he answered.

"Then sleep, we'll be here when you wake and you can tell us exactly what happened in your dream so we can help you"

"Ok thank you" Tony mumbled before falling asleep with his head on Steve's shoulder.