Chapter 9:

Why did he ask me out if he was going to ditch me? I felt like I was in on a joke and I was the only one not laughing.. I was a third wheel. On my date. Should have let her go home. I should have told her to back off. To be honest, if I x'ed out Jessica, the night wouldn't have been off.I can't believe I thanked him for being him. I realized that night; I ignored how cocky he was. It's my fault.

I assumed it was all his charm. No. They deserve each other. Two egos make a couple. A toxic one. They end up coming back to each other, anyway. You know what? I'm used to getting rejected, whatever. It is what it is. It's probably a good thing. The way those two argue, I dodged a red flag.

Mondays. Whose idea was it to say this should be the beginning of the week? It should start on Tuesdays. I tried to convince my parents to let me stay home. They said no. Of course.

I tap my pen over and over, listening to the documentary on the tv our English teacher played. We had to take notes. I space, staring at the open door of the classroom. The doc turns off; he hands out a quiz for us to write a summary of the film and four question facts.

We all came before Ms. Laughlin in the drama room. I have a scene but I need a partner since it's a dialogue. I was wondering if I could ask Nathan. Maybe it could help my stage fright. Stepping away backwards, I bump into someone, stepping on their foot, "ow, watch it!"

"Sorry, are you ok?" I turn, realizing it's Sam. He squeezes his foot. "Oh, you." I push past him.

"You could at least apologize," Sam says in a factual tone.

"I did." I shrug, sitting back in my seat. I got a quick look at his face, there were circles around his eyes. His hair was scruffy.

"Still can't stand him?" Nathan sits next to me.

"Yes."

"Sorry."

"It's not your fault." I shake my head.

"Word on the street that he and Jessica are really over," he whispers.

"Huh," I simply say. It explains his appearance. He looks terrible. Bummer. "How do you know this?"

"Jessica post a story #singleandgirlboss."

"Wow." There was nothing for me to say. Not my problem.

"I have a favor to ask," I change the subject. "I was wondering if you could help me with my audition. It's a scene from Spring Awakening."

"Um I have a monologue," he tells me.

"You can still do yours. I just need a partner." I pout out my bottom lip.

"Ok," he agrees.

"Thank you," I side hug him. Everyone else chats amongst themselves while Ms Laughlin counts the votes.

"It's not the kissing scene, right?"

I snort, "it doesn't have to be."

"All right, settle. I hope you all are preparing for your auditions." She sets her bag down next to the box marked Wardrobe.

"Ok. So I'm still deciding on our production, hang tight. While we wait, you can all partner up if you want to. You can audition together or alone and both will assist and guide each other." Me and Nathan look at each other with a hopeful expression. Ms. Laughlin is reading my mind. In a good way.

"Nathan," Lori taps on his shoulder. He sits up straighter, trying to hide his blush.

"Yeah?" he asks in a squeak and then clears his throat.

She pushes her brown hair off her cheek, "do you want to be partners?" Lori asks. Damn. Nathan has had a crush on her forever, I know he won't miss this opportunity. I can't blame him, she's cute. He gushes about her any chance he gets. I sat back. He elbows me, gives me an 'i'm sorry' expression and stands up. I daze off. My eyes staring at the decorative, multicolored mask hanging next to the curtains. "Miss Hall."

"Yes? Sorry." I blink.

"Do you have a partner?" She comes up to me and kneels on the stage. I look around to see everyone else grouped up with someone else.

"I guess everyone is partnered up. I can do it alone." I laugh, rubbing my palms on my knees.

"Oh. Well, I think it would be better if you had someone to assist you. Don't want a repeat of last time." I sigh, scratching the back of my head. "Don't worry, you can work with Sam, he doesn't have a partner either."

"Who?" I raise my eyebrows. No way. I turn to him. He had a bored look on his face. His posture slacked back in the chair.

"Samuel. It'll be good. He's our star." I grimace. He's the last person I want to face.

"Um, I assumed someone else would be clamoring to be with him. Can I switch with someone I get along with? Is there another Samuel here?"

"He can be of great help. I know that star quality is inside you. I've seen it. He can help you with an audience." She snaps her fingers. I sit there, unmoved. Sam? Really? He's still sitting too. So much for me ignoring him. She pulls me by my hand to stand up.

I drag my chair behind me. Placing it in front of him, sitting down. She smiles, hitting both of our shoulders in glee before leaving us alone. I cross my arms, licking my lips.

I sigh in a shiver, he doesn't say anything. I stare at him, he looks like he's in a trance. Is he ok?

"Let's just get this over with. We don't like each other and it can stay that way," I tell him.

"Whatever," he mutters, shuffling his feet. I grimace again, sitting my head up.

"You ok? Wanna talk about it?" I ask through clenched teeth. He simply shakes his head. "We can try a song to ease the tension." He shrugs at me.

"Ohh k. Uh we can do a duet. Like Drake and Rhianna. Or something."

"Hmm. " Ok, this is a first, he's not saying anything snarky or sarcastic. "It's funny that you want to work with me," he says with a chuckle. And he's back.

"I'm better off alone. Ms Laughlin insists. She thinks you can help me. I believe otherwise but-" I look away to the side. Maybe this is her way of punishing me since I'm always in the background.

"Says the girl that poured ice cream on my head."

"You deserved it." I frown.

"Ok, sure. You are certainly moving on."

"You know what? I'm gonna try to convince Ms Laughlin again to do this by myself. I can't do this." I slap my knees when I get up.

"Fine," he replies with a scoff.

"Fine," I say back. I look back to see her talking to someone, the vice principal. Before I can step away. Sam sighs exasperatedly and grabs my elbow to stop.

"Wait. Don't." He pulls my arm to make me face him. "We can work this out. Without antagonizing each other."

"Why? There's no point." It won't work.

His grip loosens, he doesn't let go. We have another staredown. He lets go slowly. I huff.

"You're right. It's something that's important to me. To us. Just... let's be civil." I move my lips to the side, take a deep breath. He does have a point. And I need someone for a scene.

"As long as you don't think you're better than everyone."

"Ok." He holds his hands up in defense.

"Ok." I sit back down. He sits too, I cross my arms over my chest.

"Do we have to be personal with each other?" I ask. I don't want to hear about his break up with Jessica.

"Hell no, we are professional actors. I'm like that with everyone. No feelings. Think of us like those actors that can't stand each other on set but have to have chemistry to make it work," he says like it's a fact.

"Right. I can do that. That's fair." I can totally do that. It's been done before. You hear the stories in Hollywood about actors that won't work together again due to disdain but make magic on the screen.

"And try not to choke," his tone teased.

I glare at him, "I won't." Not this time.

Our teacher tells us to stand up to do our regular exercise with our partners. Oh, God. Which exercise? We blow our lips out, sing a monotone sound all together and say the mantra: 'the tip of the tongue, the teeth, the lips' over and over again.

"Good. Let's begin with some movement." She claps three times.

"Catch me, Maya," Sam falls backwards with his head on his forehead. On instinct I did. Holding him as he pretends to be passed out. Some students snicker at his behavior.

"Get off! Heavy!" I push him off me, he stumbles and stands his shoulders square.

"Samuel, please. No horsing around."

"Sorry, madam," Sam says with an innocent smile.

"He gets the idea, though. Maya does have good reflexes. Just not that way. I want you all to face each other."

I chew on my top lip, crossing my arms over my chest. "We are doing mirror exercises today. Now like a mirror, you make eye contact. You repeat your partner's moves to be in sync."

He smiles softly. I feel my nose flare. Can I do this with anyone else? I lift my arms to the side with a sigh. Meeting his eye level, I face my hands up, he does the same. He reaches up to the sky. I reach up too. Then he places his arms to the side, he makes a goofy face. My face is blank, I blink once. I kick up, he does the same. I drop my hands, placing them on my hips, he drops his head back, I look beside me to Nathan. He's all smiles with Lori, she tries to tickle his ribs and he inches away from her tease. I laugh. At least he's having fun.

"It's no use of being in sync if you don't want to do this," he tells me. I face him as he's scratching the back of his head.

I follow suit, "what do you mean? Of course I do!"

"We need eye contact. It creates chemistry."

"I thought doing a scene would create chemistry." I look at the lights, they were brighter than before.

"That's after and they do screen tests. Table reads. Rehearsal. What we're doing, We have to feed off each other to know the next actor's step. Look at me."

As our eyes lock. I lick my lips as I try to keep it longer. His eyes are not so intense when he's onstage, it looks tired. Softer. Like a puppy. I breathe out.

"Let's ask questions. Top universities?"

"Cornell. They have a great drama program. Or stay in state. Minor in cinematography. You?" I point at him with my index finger. He does the same. I lift my arms up for a long stretch. He reaches higher.  Wow, he's actually asking me about my interests. Rare.

"NYU. If acting doesn't work, I can be a director to tell people what to do. We might run into each other," he smirks.

"Of course," I roll my eyes, he does the same. He'll be in New York too if I go to cornell. Ugh, why?

"Has anyone told you you roll your eyes a lot?"

"No I don't," I frown, crossing my arms.

"Yeah, you do."

"Maybe, when I'm annoyed."

"So you're annoyed all the time," he states.

"It's possible. I don't do it all the time," I roll my eyes. He does the same. "Shit."

He chuckles, "it's no problem. Just another one of your habits."

"You're paying attention to my habits?" I scoff.

"I'm not," he says.

"You are. You're not so perfect, you have flaws."

"Like what?"

"You run your hands through your hair. And you think you're God's gift to the planet. You get this crinkle on your forehead when you're in deep thought." 

He chuckles, "what? That's it?"

"That's all I can think of."

"Ok, I like what I see, but try to do more movement. You can move your arms and legs," Ms. Laughlin suggests. Does that mean I can kick him?

I swing my arms in the air from side to side like the wacky inflatable tube things outside of car sale lots. I laugh out when he mimics. I double over, holding my knees.

"Good work, everyone! We'll do more next time, have a good rest of your day." Ms Laughlin dismissed us. She tells us we have until next week Friday for open auditions. And we must be off script and prepared. I grab my backpack off the stage floor.

Nathan meets up with me, "sorry." He bumps my arm.

I tell him "it's okay."

"Do you need a ride?" He asks.

"My brother is picking me up. Thanks, though," I tell him. "Why don't you ask Lori if she needs one?" I bump my hips with his.

"Ha, uh no. I'm taking my time." He shakes his head, tugging the strands.

"She asked you to be partners, that's a sign of a mutual crush." I nudge his sides over and over.

"Or she's being nice and wants nothing to do with me."

"Ok, you have a point. You're right. Take your time."

I text my brother that I'm ready. I wait outside in front of the school. Nathan waves bye, and I do the same. Sam walks out of the school and into his car. I watch him drive away from the parking lot. It's kind of uncharacteristic of him to give me tips. It's probably because of his break up. I shake my head. Craig drives up in front of me. I enter and he takes us home. When we arrive, it's quiet again. Dad's not home. Mom's not around.

"Mom? Dad? Hello!" I yell out. Craig throws his keys on the counter.

I shut the door behind me. Craig runs and jumps on the couch, I head to the kitchen for some water. Damn, I'm thirsty. I hate the water fountains at school, either too low of flow to drink or out of order.

When I get to my room, I flop on my chest, gathering the pillows in my face. How am I gonna work with him without the temptation of mushing his face in when I look into his eyes? His stupid sweet eyes. The thought of it made me clench my jaw. Too hard. I open my mouth, moving my bottom jaw left and right, ignoring the swimming feeling in my stomach. I don't roll my eyes a lot. That's the second thing he's told me. First I'm timid, now I'm an eye roller?

+++

Dinner time. It's cold and quiet. Inside and outside. I pick at my mashed potatoes, scraping it with my fork. I flick, picking up the food and then dropping it back on my plate.

"Maya, are you ok?" Dad asks in a worried tone.

"Huh?" I look up.

"You're not eating," he states. "And you look distressed."

"Oh," I scoop a big glop in my mouth. I chew slowly.

"How was school?" He takes a sip from his glass of wine.

"Ok," I shrug. "Just thinking."

"About what?"

"Life after school. University. Careers"

"Hmm."

"Speaking of careers, I was thinking about getting a part time job."

"Why?"

"Because I don't have one, I need money so I don't have to ask you and mom." And I need a distraction.

"I don't think so," he frowned, taking a bite of his steak.

"Why not?"

"Don't you have after school duties?"

"On weekdays. I could work on weekends or at least Saturdays."

"No. You need to focus on school to get to college. Maybe in the summer you can work."

"How am I supposed to get ready for the real world with no work ethic?" I asked in a factual tone. "I can do a side hustle, I can sell something."

"I don't think so," he repeats.

"Mom?"

"Listen to your father," she mumbles, not making eye contact. The utensils clank from the table, I lay back on the chair. I huff, pursing my mouth to the side.

"Look, school is your priority. You're graduating soon. You can get a part time job in the summer. Deal?"

"Deal," I agree. I take a bite, letting the prongs of the fork slide between my teeth.