Tommy kept his eyes peeled, edging against the forest line that surrounded the pathway. Tommy knew that Theseus went through six challenges or so before he made it to Athens, where he would be sent off to Crete to fight the Minotaur. Tommy was hoping that he met Karl before any of the challenges came to pass, or that Karl would at least be in Athens so Tommy didn't have to fight the Minotaur. Tommy had no idea how Theseus pulled that off. He could understand the trickery used against the six labours, but the Minotaur would only be defeated by physical strength and clever dodging. He couldn't trick the mindless beast who had spent years alone in solitary confinement until he went insane. Any humanity the Minotaur might have possessed was broken down by the horrible conditions Midas put the son of a queen and bull in.

        "Hello, young man! Would you care for a challenge?" A voice interrupted Tommy's thoughts. He looked up to see BadBoyHalo staring down at him with a terrifying smile. Tommy rolled his eyes as he remembered who the first threat was, Periphetes the Club Bearer. As the name implied, Periphetes was known for beating his enemies with a club. A real clever name, innit? Tommy would have left it at that, but something made Tommy think this Periphetes was more like Antaeus, someone that another hero named Heracles fought. Antaeus healed when he was touching the ground, but by the looks of the red vines crossing the path, BadBoyHalo was closer to the Egg than his counterpart who had Gaia. Tommy figured how he could take Bad on as he cautiously passed by some of the vines. Bad memories spun in his head, making him feel sick to his stomach at the thought of it. Tommy swallowed down the panic that rose in his throat as he nodded to Bad. "Great! We will fight until one of us dies, yes?"

        It seemed Bad was as unprepared for the role as Tommy was. Still, if Tommy wanted to see Karl, get back home, and guarantee that Puffy got a good ending in the messed up life and times of Theseus, Tommy would need to play this part as best he could. Certain liberties would be taken since Tommy already knew how some of the story went. He knew Bad's weakness far before Heracles knew Periphetes' connection to Gaia.

        Tommy leaned down to stand firm on the ground. He pulled Theseus' sword from the scabbard, quietly observing the area. The vines were thin, disappearing into the forest all around the road. If Technoblade told the story well enough, a gate to the Underworld would be around there somewhere. Tommy wondered if he could tackle Bad back into the Underworld like the demon he was, though Bad never acted like a rightful demon. Tommy decided that would be a more literal interpretation of  'send them to Hades'. Tommy laughed quietly at that as he dodged the swing of Bad's club that seemed so different from him. It was a basic wooden club that grew bulkier the further away it got from the handle and was rounded at the end. Bad seemed capable enough with it, however, so Tommy wasn't going to share his opinion just yet.

        Tommy maintained a safe distance from Bad, the weapon being midrange but slow. Tommy tried to find an area with few vines, but they covered almost every inch of the road. More bad memories that didn't know when it was appropriate to infiltrate his mindscape. Tommy knew it was better to end it quickly. Tommy pushed off a nearby tree, tackling Bad to the ground. Tommy kicked the club away, and pushed Bad down so he couldn't touch any of the vines. Tommy heard the whispers of the Egg in his head. Instead of letting in, Tommy sliced Bad's throat. Bad fell back, his face growing unclouded. "Huh? What am I doing here?" Bad fell back, dead as Periphetes at the end of his fight.

        Tommy continued down the road, avoiding the red vines and the angry whispers of the Egg. Tommy rolled his eyes as he kicked one of the vines before cutting the largest one in half with his sword. The Egg screeched even louder at that, so Tommy broke out into a run to get away from the annoying squealing. Tommy kept running until he tripped over a tree root that was jutting out of the ground. Tommy spat out the distasteful dirt that came into his mouth. Tommy lifted himself up on his arms to see a woman standing before him. It was obviously Hannah in appearance. She had the same redwood tree hair with bright eyes in a light pink chiton. Hannah had roses tied into her hair, wrapping around her eyes in full blooms that framed a mask. Hannah smiled at Tommy as she lifted him to his feet. "Hello, traveller! I have a favor to ask. I need to test the strength of some vines. Could I perhaps test it on you?"

        Tommy let a sigh rest in his stomach. He knew how to solve this one. Just like how Bad was playing the part of Periphetes, Hannah was slotted into the spot of Pityocamptes Sinis. Hannah would use her flower power to hold down two pine trees, and tie Tommy to the trees with an extra thick vine. It wouldn't be by accident that Hannah would release the trees, ripping Tommy into uncleanly cut halves. The way Theseus solved this problem was to trick Sinis into his own trap. Tommy stared at Hannah. How was he supposed to do that? Techno didn't show him Theseus' How To Kill Bandits slideshow. What did Tommy know about Hannah, and what did he know about Sinis? Tommy had described all that he knew about Sinis. Hannah was a girl who liked roses, resembled a garden fairy, was affiliated with the Egg, and she seemed generally happy. Tommy looked around the area. There were roses and Hannah was happy, but nothing resembling the Egg or fairies. Hannah had a loose grip on the vine that she would use, most of it trailing on the ground behind her.

        "Sinis! Your roses look awful. They're wilting. They are turning brown and falling apart. You need to fix it," Tommy spoke with the most expressive face he could muster while gesturing wildly to the area behind Hannah. Her eyes widened as she turned around to find what Tommy was talking about. While she was distracted, Tommy grabbed hold of the vine from the ground. He pulled at the vine to knock Hannah off balance. As Hannah fell, Tommy began to hog tie her with the vine. Hannah squirmed against the plant as Tommy tied Hannah to one of the trees instead of both. All this would do is fling Hannah into the air. The chance to survive this encounter would be a lot greater than if Tommy would tear her apart. Hannah didn't see this as mercy. She yelled at Tommy as he used his sword to cut the roots that were wrapped around the trunk of the pine tree. Hannah screamed bloody murder as she was shot into the air without a second glance. Tommy high fived himself as he continued down his path. The real Theseus would have taken Sinis' daughter to bed, but Tommy didn't have the time to make love to someone that he hopefully wouldn't know.

        Tommy wondered which one of the people he knew would be the pig. The Crommyonian Sow was the only nonhuman entity that Theseus had to fight. The only way to defeat the pig was to puncture its hide (which was impossible because of course it was) or to trick the Crommyonian Sow to kill itself by some means. Tommy could try to choke it by pushing random objects into the mouth of the boar, but did he want to get close to those tusks in order to do that? If Tommy found a fast-acting poison, he would need to get close once and then play keep-away with his life as the object being kept away. Tommy didn't want to bargain with his life like that. Theseus didn't die this early in his quest. Theseus didn't die until Lycomedes pushed him off a cliff, which was after Theseus finished his six labours and beat the Minotaur. That didn't necessarily mean Tommy would survive. Best case scenario, he restarted this portion of the quest or was kicked back to his time period. Worst case scenario, he would be dead permanently. Tommy wasn't entirely sure how his lives worked since his death and subsequent revival, but Tommy didn't want to test that out. Tommy cursed Karl's name as he tried to think of what he could do against the Crommyonian Sow.

        Tommy didn't have time to think about that any more because Tommy could hear the huffing of a large creature getting ready to pounce. Tommy's body reacted before his eyes found what he was running from. He leapt to the side, off the road into the tall grass that framed the dirt path. While Tommy rolled to a stop, the Crommyonian Sow ran down the street. The giant boar was down the road before it stopped, turning around to face Tommy. The boar had brown skin with clumps of charred black hair pulled tight over it's bulging muscles. Glowing red eyes with a clear lust for blood was hanging beneath torn up ears and above a short snout. Dark smoke poured from the nose at the end of the snout, unable to cover the dried blood and flecks of flesh around the boar's mouth and sharp teeth. The worst feature was the two long tusks that may have been white a long time ago but were now brown with dirt and red with fresh blood. Tommy had never been afraid of a farmyard animal, but that thing glaring at him was not normal. It was not an animal. It was a phantasmal beast made from the union of ungodly creatures. The sow was half the size of the famed Ender Dragon Tommy had been told stories about by Phil, but it still was a massive creature that Tommy had no hope of killing with his sword. Tommy was doomed to be skewered on those tusks, and his flesh would be ripped apart to satisfy the hunger of this ancient monster.

        "Fuck you, you Blood God wannabe. Has anyone told you pigs are disgusting little shits only put on this planet for breakfast?" Tommy yelled at the creature. If Tommy was going to die, he might as well go out as a brave idiot instead of a cowering fool. Tommy wasn't even going out as an idiot. He had an intelligent plan that could potentially work. There wasn't a high likelihood that it would work out the way Tommy wanted. Regardless, it was the best option that Tommy had. He would probably die trying to do it, but that would be a risk Tommy was willing to take. High risk, high reward, right? Tommy needed to obtain the Holy Grail of good luck in order to kill the Crommyonian Sow, so Tommy would need to risk it all.

        Tommy took off running the moment his words left his mouth. The Crommyonian Sow roared in a voice deeper than a bear or a lion. Tommy hoped that he didn't use the bathroom on himself as he went full-speed ahead. The Crommyonian Sow started barreling towards Tommy. Since the creature was large and bulky, it took some time for its speed to be built up. Tommy was sure that he could make it to the cliffside before the Crommyonian Sow overtook him. Tommy may not have been strong like Techno, or artistically inclined like Wilbur, or a gifted adventurer like Phil, but there was one thing Tommy was good at. He was fast. He was a little shit that would punch you in the gut, and race across the world to avoid getting hit back. Speed had been one of the few things Tommy had been praised for. Even Dream mentioned that Tommy would be a good speedrunner if he had the cleverness to outsmart his opponents along with natural speed. Tommy was banking on that speed as he saw Sciron sitting by the cliffside. Well, Tommy recognized the robber of Megara as Skeppy, but Tommy had little doubt that if he would have slowed down to speak with Skeppy, he would have been forced to wash Skeppy's feet and get kicked off the cliff. Tommy didn't need a kick to leap off the cliff. Tommy would be doing that all by himself. Tommy jumped over Skeppy's head, sliding towards the edge. Tommy pulled out his sword. He lodged it into the ground, slowing his descent until he was hanging off the cliff with the sword crammed into the rocks. Tommy heard a scream as the Crommyonian Sow barreled into Skeppy. A second later, the sun was covered up as the ravenette in all blue clothing was thrown off the cliffside. Tommy made eye contact with Skeppy as the man was dropped into the ocean. Nearly a second later, Tommy watched the Crommyonian Sow slip off the side into the waters below, following Skeppy down.

        Tommy released a breath as he dragged his body back onto the cliff. Tommy didn't look down, but he could hear the crash as the boar hit the water. Droplets of salt water brushed against his ankle as the putrid smell of blood filled the air. Tommy bent his knees to say a quick prayer for Skeppy. Tommy rose to his feet with all his adrenaline fading away. He just took out two birds with one stone. Two murderers with one boar. That meant Tommy only had two more enemies to face off against. The first would be the king Cercyon who would challenge Tommy to a wrestling match, or some variant of that, and the second would be a bandit known as Procrustes the Stretcher, who would use either a short or long bed as an excuse to cut Tommy's limbs off or stretch him out. If Tommy could outsmart or overpower those two like he did the previous four, he would find his way to Athens, where Karl would hopefully be. Tommy was risking his life for Karl, the least the man could do was make it easy to find him. Tommy felt like he was playing Where's Waldo? with the stakes of a Carmen Sandiego episode. Tommy didn't even know what Karl wanted. Why was Tommy there, pretending to be Theseus while the people from his life bore the names of killers?

***

        "Hey, you want to sword fight?" Someone asked as Tommy entered into the holy site named Eleusis. Tommy looked up to see Punz leaning against a broken marble column with a sword at his side. He wore a white chiton underneath leather armor, and an Eye of Ender rested against his chest in gold chains despite the fact that Eyes of Ender hadn't been discovered in Ancient Greece. Eyes of Ender was a much later discovery.  Tommy chalked it up to some time dissonance. The Punz that Tommy knew always wore that chained up jewel, and whatever glitch in the timestream made the illusions of people Tommy knew appear couldn't account for every displaced item. "I'm not going to let you pass until we fight, so you might as well say yes. We can be done with this real quick."

        "Yeah, we're not murdering each other," Tommy said. Punz raised an eyebrow as he leveled the blade of his sword at Tommy's chest. The blonde sighed with an eye roll, drawing his sword from the scabbard. Tommy held it steady in front of his body. Punz smiled slightly, rushing forwards with the sword raised. As his blade came down, Tommy raised his sword up to parry the sword. Tommy stepped forward while keeping the sword steady, and Punz started to slide forwards. Before Tommy could do anything, Punz lifted up a knee to slam into Tommy's stomach. Tommy grit his teeth in pain, raising the hand that didn't need to hold the sword. Tommy brought his fist down on the top of Punz's head. Punz dropped to his knees as the pain rattled down his skull into his spine. Tommy twisted his entire body while lifting up a leg, aiming to slam it into the side of Punz's head. Punz grabbed Tommy's ankle before the foot made contact, and Tommy felt his body get thrown into the air. He flipped once, landing on the ground on his stomach. Punz stomped his foot on Tommy's wrist. Tommy instantly released his sword as his arm darted to his chest. With his weapon removed, Punz lifted a foot to triumphantly stomp Tommy's spine. Tommy pushed himself to the side. When Punz's foot landed against the ground, Tommy gave him the same treatment by grabbing onto his ankle, pulling it towards him to knock Punz to the ground. Tommy grabbed onto his sword, twisting it until the hilt was down. Tommy let out a scream as he plunged the hilt of the sword into the Eye of Ender. The jewel fractured but didn't shatter like Tommy hoped. Still, he got the desired effect.

        Punz blinked at Tommy a few times before sitting up. He held the Eye of Ender in his palm, raising it up to his face. Punz stared at the fracture lines with something like empty confusion. His gaze trailed over to Tommy. His brows furrowed as he looked around at the abandoned and broken ruins. Punz scratched the back of his head, pulling his knees to his chest. Tommy stared back, waiting for something to happen. Punz finally sighed in something that was similar to frustration. "My name isn't Cercyon, right? I thought it was for a little bit, but I don't think it is anymore. You're Tommy, not Theseus so... I'm not Cercyon. What am I doing in... where is this? Rome?"

        "Ancient Greece, actually. This is the holy site Eleusis. You're Punz, just playing a part in this time travelling adventure Karl sent me on," Tommy explained with a soft laugh. In the few seconds that understanding spread across Punz's face, his body started to disappear into the wind. Punz gave Tommy a final grin before he was gone. Tommy sighed, pushing himself to his feet. That was one more villain down.

***

His stomach hurt like a bitch, but he was otherwise prepared for his last encounter before Athens. Tommy would punch Karl in the stomach for sending him on the quest, though. Probably dangle him off a cliff, too, and definitely slingshot him from the trees. Tommy let a smile spread across his face as he imagined all the things he would do to get back at Karl. Tommy was still thinking about this when he tripped over something. Tommy laid sprawled on the ground, staring at the sky with a confused expression. He looked to see what had tripped him. It looked like a medical cot with the thin wooden beams holding up a white cloth. Tommy reached a hand for the nearest one. It was too small to fit anyone except a child Michael's size.

        "Oh, my! What are you doing down there, Sir Thesues! I have beds here for you! I have heard many tales about your exploits! It must have taken you several long, hard days to get this close to Athens! I am sure that you are tired. You can have your choice of bed to rest for the night!" Someone called out with a clap of their hands. Tommy looked past the bed to see a man in a colorful hijab staring down at him with a happy smile. Tommy almost wanted to believe Ponk. He had been travelling for the better part of a week. He had fought five other maniacs who, looking back on it, were the Egg's cult. Ponk was part of the Cult, yes, but something about this variant of him seemed so kind and generous. Tommy was willing to sleep in one of those beds even if it cost him his life. The reason Tommy didn't sleep was because he was too prideful to allow Ponk to be the one to end his quest.

        "Prime damnit, Ponk... eat shit, Procrustes. I'm not dying because I don't fit in a fucking bed. You can fuck your mother before I do that," Tommy said, pushing himself to his feet. Even though his legs were trembling, Tommy was standing pretty steady. He pulled the sword from his scabbard. In one fluid motion, Ponk had been stabbed through the chest. Ponk looked offended as he dropped to the ground, blood spurting from the chest. Tommy pulled the sword out of Ponk's body. Tommy held Ponk's hand as the man started to disappear. Tommy was asleep before Ponk had completely disappeared, and he could have sworn that Ponk had been rubbing his hair. Next up was Athens... and the Minotaur.