Let me love you

1:05 ───|────── 2:53

|◁ II ▷|

Yeri was so nice to me.

Everything she does to me is done with extraordinary kindness. I am annoyed with myself that I did something behind her back — that I bitterly hated her for my own sake. She doesn't deserve to be pained. I sincerely regretted hating her without even knowing her distinctly.

But I can't do anything to erase all of it anymore. Jaehyun had already taken my heart wholly. It's already in his hands, and I can't just do anything to have it back.

But still, I will try my best. As long as he's not craning his eyes on me, my distinct feelings for him will surely subside.

Currently, we're in the coffee shop near our school. Of course, the whole clique is here. Nothing special, same old.

We are just basically here because our classes are already done. Johnny actually was the one who invited us here as their first guest because his family owns this newly built coffee shop.

So far, so good. I like how cozy yet non-intimidating this place is, to sum it all up. The lively atmosphere and the aura of the modern interior are nice. It's very chill and plays good music. The best for students like us who either wants to review or just basically chill. There are some board games and books to borrow if you are bored.

I'm heartily enjoying our stay here all in all... if only Jaehyun and Yeri are not here with us.

I've been trying my best to avert my gaze to the both of them. They're too sweet for my liking.

"You shouldn't have taken Haechan and Jungwoo here in your newly built café, Johnny." Doyoung started off.

"Why us?!" Jungwoo and Haechan say in unison.

"They are trying to bankrupt your coffee shop for ordering lots of things on the menu. Can't you see?" Yuta added.

"Nonsense! We're not that kind of person." Jungwoo adequately defended.

"Not that kind of person but you're already in your 5th cake? Okay, boomer." Taeil nodded gaily.

"The hell? How did you know that word?" Johnny says.

Taeil winked, "Because I am a legend."

After a while, everyone started eating again not until a familiar song played in the whole café.

"Walk it like I talk it

Walk it like I talk it

Walk it like I talk it."

Taeil stood up from his seat and wear his eyeglasses. Soon after, he started dancing merrily the lit dance.

"Ooooh!!!" Everyone reacted.

I couldn't help but laugh uproariously with what Taeil is doing. He looks so much like a fraternity boy yey at the same time a grandfather.

When the comic song ended, everyone clapped for Taeil.

"See? A legend?" Taeil even says as he proudly flexes his buff shoulder (?).

"That song is a bop." Haechan blurted out

"Huh?" Taeyong says, "Bop?"

"Bop? You mean, rice?" Taeil clarified.

"No! It means hit song." Haechan properly explained.

"Kim-bop?" Winwin says which earned a delighted giggle from everyone because of his cuteness. Yuta and Mark even pinch his cheeks because of it.

"You mean, bomb?" Jaehyun suddenly says that sent shivers down my spine.

The profound effects, seriously.

"The word 'bop' can be seen in the Merriam dictionary. The song is..." he looked up but gave up, "a bop."

Seriously? They don't have an idea what bop means? They are outrageous and unbelievable.

"Cut it off, boomers." I curtly said and rolled my eyes.

Everyone turned their eyes to me including Jaehyun and Yeri. They are right in front of me while Taeyong and Johnny are on my side.

"Hey, by the way. Why aren't you ordering? This is Johnny's treat. Don't let the opportunity slip away." Taeyong winked.

I cringe by Taeyong's wink so my recoiled. Witnessing how sour my face is, Taeyong smiled genuinely at me.

Damn that smile.

"Okay. You order for me. Just not ice americano or anything americano." I said.

"Oh my, you guys are such lovers, Jennie and Taeyong Oppa. Why aren't you together? Don't you like each other?" Yeri squealed with a teasing voice.

My attention diverted to her but immediately dropped on her hand. I saw that her left hand was played by Jaehyun at this moment.

I gulped and pressed my lips together as I turned to Taeyong. I saw his smile faded a little but he was still somehow smiling. I also gazed at Jaehyun who now stopped playing with Yeri's fingers and looking at me.

What is his problem? Why is he frowning?

Everyone was promptly lost of words and went silent. It is as if everyone knows about something except for Yeri. I heard how Mark fakes a cough which popped the deafening silence and the dreadful stillness.

Some get back from eating but the tension won't ease down. I can feel it and am nervous that something might unveil now. I don't want her to find out, at least not right now.

"Did... Did I say something wrong?" Yeri asked guiltily.

I can see that she's also wondering because of the tension. Of course, she won't have an idea about what's happening. She's innocent and a victim here after all.

I shook my head and crack a smile, "Of course not. It's just that, Taeyong and I are best friends so it's impossible that the two of us will be together."

"Ohh. Sorry for being insensitive." She says.

"It's fine."

Yeri didn't bother to talk again and just leaned her head to Jaehyun. I looked away just to bear the pain. I've signed myself up for this. I know I deserve this so much. Because I'm stupid and selfish.

After that, I decided to make myself busy with the book I've been reading ever since we've entered this coffee shop.

One of the excerpts of the book says, "You are too busy chasing what you want to the point that you forget what you deserve."

From that line, only one person came across my mind; Taeyong.

Should I give him a decent chance? Should I really do?

"Iced coffee for Jennie."

I jumped out in surprises and turned to Taeyong who's handing me out a cup. He is smiling sweetly at me.

"Thanks," I managed to say as I flash a smile in return.

I sipped it using the straw. I endured the taste. I realized coffees were both sweet and bitter. It can be love. It was bittersweet.

"From what happened earlier..." Taeyong trailed off.

I did not turn my eyes to him due to embarrassment. I don't want him to have his hopes high. I don't want to make him assume things because of grave flowery words that I don't mean to say at all. Taeyongdoesn't deserve the pain.

"It's fine. It's not your fault, too. Besides, it's not Yeri's intention to make the atmosphere awkward. She doesn't know anything about..." the words hanged in my tongue as it fails to escape my frail voice.

I don't want anyone to hear us. Most especially our friends are still here.

I nodded and continued reading while Taeyong caressed my head before talking to our friends again.

There are so many what if's going on in my head. I'm worrying about things. 1) What if Yeri finds out about my relationship with Jaehyun before? 2) What if I give Taeyong a chance?

To be honest, the latter was riskier and scarier than the first one. It's not a win-win situation. Once I give Taeyong a chance, I'm afraid I might break him.

I noticed that Jaehyun was stealing glances at me multiples times. I thought it would not linger over time soon but when he fixed his eyes to me for almost a minute, I almost lost it.

I can feel the inevitable and reflexive butterflies in my stomach because of his stares. I tried to look away just so I couldn't see him but my vision is a betrayer. It won't cooperate with me.

Shit. This really can't be.

"Can I go now? I want to go home. My Mom is waiting for me." I stood up.

"Huh? It's too early." Yeri complained.

"True," Johnny agreed.

"But I need to go." I insisted.

"Just let her," Jaehyun says. "Her Mom is waiting for her."

Everyone turned their head to Jaehyun while I did not bother. I don't want to his face right now because I might just punch it.

"It's hard to accept but alright, Jennie. I am letting go of you." Jungwoo says dramatically as he leaned to Mark who was now patting.

"Stop being too overdramatic, you guys. I'm just going to go home. We'll see each other tomorrow." I said.

"If that's the case then you are free to go," Doyoung says.

Thank God.

"In one condition," Yuta blurted out suddenly.

"What?"

"Let Taeyong walk you home," Yuta smirked.

Damn my friends and their non-ending shipping between Taeyong and me. Can't they see Taeyong is hurting because of me?

We've argued a little about it but in the end, I have left no choice but to agree with it because they forced and cornered me. It's better anyway. It's either I stayed there with Jaehyun and his stares or with Taeyong whom I know won't let me get hurt.

We rode a bus all the way home. No hassle and we're unawkward to each other. Not until he asked me a question.

"Jennie, do you already love him?" Taeyong asked with pleading eyes.

It's blatant that Taeyong collected his guts first and waiting for a great timing to ask me this.

I averted my gaze and blinked.

Honestly, I am thinking about my answer. Do love him? Even Taeyong didn't mention him; I know truly it was Jaehyun he is talking about.

Instantaneously, I remembered his smile. Damn, his smile melts me like butter. The way he stares that make me mutter 'oh shit!' in every possible way. He makes me happy and contented as nobody else can. I love him... and that is a fact that I can't deny.

"Don't answer my question. I shouldn't have asked that since I already know the answer," he bitterly smiled.

"Sorry..." I said in a low tone.

"There's nothing to say sorry for. It's my fault. Sorry." He sighed.

I muttered 'sorry' once again, but I earned only a nod from him.

After we had dashed out of the bus, Taeyong said something.

"So I remain to have no chance with you at all?"

I froze from my spot and looked down.

"I can be a band-aid for you as long as you are happy. Your happiness is what matters the most. Use me as your toy. I'm all yours, Jennie. My heart is all yours."

"I can't Taeyong, I can't. You'll get yourself hurt because of me."

I don't want to play and dump him after. Never have I ever wanted that to happen. It's like cutting my wings if I give him a chance. I consider him as my best friend who can't bear that to happen.

"Just one day, Jennie. I'll let you see that I'm worth it for you. After that, you can choose and think. Whatever your decision will be, I'll respect it with all my heart." He softly says.

I remained neutral, collected, and calm until we're already in front of my house. I may look okay outside but I'm definitely wrecking every piece of my nerve inside.

Should I give him a day to prove himself? There's nothing to prove since Taeyong is worth it. It's just that, I don't see him romantically at all.

As soon as we reached our house, I told Taeyong my answer and immediately entered our gate swiftly without bidding him a goodbye since I was too embarrassed and scared.

I peaked in the window to see him. Taeyong was still standing there with a blank expression but when he turned around and walked his way, I sighed in relief.

I entered my room and texted Mommy that I'm already home. After that, I jumped on my bed, stared at the ceiling, and sighed deeply.

Then I wondered... did I do the right thing?

-

A/N:

Jennie's answer to Taeyong will be revealed the next chapter~