Pairing: Tom Holland x Reader

Warnings: Drinking, Angst, fluff, hints of sex (??)

Prompts: 

"This is the moment."

Summary: "Afraid to call and see what's good or is it simply understood there's a reason you don't want me around." - Want Me Around

A/N: Italics are flashbacks! This is for madmadmilk 's madmadsummer writing challenge on tumblr

The bottom of Tom's black socks and his blue pajama pants kept him seated on the shingles of his roof. His knees are bent and his arms are rested on top of them, a bottle of Jack held in his hand as he overlooked the backyard. Crickets could be heard when cars weren't passing by the and the moon illuminated the landscape. It smells just like summer, a happy-go-lucky season and yet he's alone on his roof, drinking past midnight.

Tom was crazy about you. Goosebumps and butterflies were permanent feelings and features when you were around. He swore you'd be the death of him if not from your laugh and horrible jokes, then the way you made his heart feel like it was going to combust with a single touch. You just made him so happy and he smiled like an idiot when you texted him. His friends and brothers teased him but he brushed them off because he had you so nothing else mattered.

He remembered the first time he took you on a date. It was mid-June and it happened to be on the chilly side despite the summer season. Tom had the idea to go out for dinner and then take you to one of the parks with a lake where you could see the stars. It's cliche but you didn't mind. Tom's a walking hopeless romantic and it was cute.

"This has to be the most cliche thing I've ever done." You state, your arm locked with Tom's as he lead you closer to the lake.

"You don't mind, do you?" He asks, his brows raised.

"No," You chuckle. "Of course not."

"Good." He takes a sigh of relief.

Normally, Tom isn't nervous but he really wanted to impress you. He wanted the night to go perfectly and even though the waiter had mixed up your orders and he nearly spilled wine on your clothes, it's gone smoothly.

He lead you to a bench and offered you his jacket while he wrapped his arm around you. You sat on that bench with your head leaning on him and soft music playing from his phone as you looked at the stars by the lake that glimmered against the moonlight. It really was the perfect date and that's the night Tom decided he'd be careful with you, make sure nothing happens and you go on your pace. Not his.

Tom's hand gripped the bottle tighter as he brought it to his lips. The alcohol burned his throat but he didn't so much as wince with the sensation. He's used to it by now and part of him even enjoys it. It's momentary relief from the pain he has no control over. At least when he drinks, it's something he can control. It might help memories fade but it also helps ground him. It's an odd combination but it works.

Tom unlocks your phone, your messages on display, and he catches the time, just after two in the morning. He shakes his head and closes his eyes, his grip tightening around the device. Flashes of you cross his mind as if you were right in front of him. 2AM. It's a special time and now the only thing he can think about is the first time he kissed you and he has to chuckle because the only reason he remembers the time is because you'd missed the train back to London so you and Tom had to catch a later one.

"Hey, at least we got be together longer." Tom smiles, sitting beside you.

"Yeah, but we both have work in the morning. We're gonna be dead." You roll your eyes but a smile is softly tugging at your lips.

Tom looks at his watch and back to you. "Yeah, but," He shrugs one shoulder. "It's an adventure."

"Yeah?" You laugh, eyes widening as you turn to face him.

"What do'ya call a train ride at two in the mornin', darling?"

"An accident." You quip, but the smile stays.

"An awfully great accidental adventure."

"That's a mouthful." You toss your head back, laughing.

Tom watches you laugh, himself softly chuckling with you and you're so special. It's only your second date and he's head over heels. It was supposed to just be a fun day in a town away from London, just because. Neither of you had set plans, you just wanted to go and it turned out to be one of the best days Tom's ever had and it's because he was able to spend it with you. His fingers were intertwined with yours nearly the whole time, if not, his arm was around your shoulder or your waist. He couldn't keep his hands off of you but it was always innocent and unexpecting. Gentle.

As your laughing subsided, Tom gathered up his courage. "Would it be alright if I kissed you?" He grins and all you do is nod.

Tom cupped your face and pulled you into him, his lips against yours. The kiss is soft at first but quickly becomes eager and needy. Butterflies exploded through Tom's body, his bones aching, wishing he'd asked hours ago. His heart picks up in his ears and he swears this is the best kiss he's ever had.

"This is the moment." You giggle, just barely pulling away from his mouth.

"What?" Tom raises a brow before pressing another kiss to your lips.

"I've been waiting all day for you do that." You pull away just enough to whisper the words, Tom chuckling in response.

"Guess I've to make up for it then, ya?" Tom wiggles his brows, bringing your mouth back to his

A car door slammed form the neighboring driveway, pulling Tom back to reality. He sighed and took another drink, his hand lightly shaking. He curses himself for the light tremor while he watches his neighbor slam the back door of the car. His neighbor seemed angry about something or another and for the life of Tom, he can't quite bring himself to care. He doesn't care because the only thing running back through his head is you. It's always you running through his head in a hard hit of memories. So, he locked his phone, knowing there's no point and allowed memories to cloud him again. He remembered your first fight which happened to be the day he decided he really loved you.

"I can't do this!" You screamed, a storm rumbling above you.

"Get in the fucking car! You're gonna get sick!" Tom moved towards you after slamming his door shut.

"No! Leave me alone!" You yelled, turning on your heels and crossing your arms over your chest as you continued to walk down the street.

You and Tom had gotten into a fight. It started over something small but then it just escalated to everything neither of you wanted to say. You went in on him over a girl he had been hanging out with. He went in on you on never giving him space. The fight turned into a shitstorm. The next thing either of you knew, you were screaming that you were leaving and slamming his door behind you. It only took Tom a few minutes to swallow his pride and go after you.

"No, I'm not leaving your ass in the rain!" Tom jogs up to you, making you pick up your pace.

"Tom, go the fuck away." You demand over the pouring rain.

"No!" Tom yells.

"God, get out of my fucking face, Thomas!" The use of his full name nearly makes him start screaming all over again.

"This is stupid!" Tom yells over the thunder echoing in the streets.

"Is it?" You challenge, stopping dead in your tracks to face him.

"Yes! It is! Now get in the bloody car!"

"This isn't stupid! You just want me to go with you so you won't feel guilty if something happens!"

Tom looks up for a split second, the veins in his neck popping out with his anger. "Of course I'll feel guilty! Because I never should have let you leave in the first place! I'm sorry, alright?" Tom rests his hands on your shoulders. "I am sorry! For everything I said. I don't mean any of it."

"You're just saying that." Your voice cracks with the lightning above you.

"No," Tom shakes his head. "I mean it, I do." You watch him, wanting to challenge him but before you can, he says the unexpected. "I love you." Tom says and it's the first time he's said it.

"You love me?" You ask and part of you thinks he's lying but his eyes are telling you a different story.

"I love you and I've loved you since that day on the train! I should have told you-"

You stop his words, colliding your lips into his. Tom relaxes into you, wrapping his arms around you and pulling you flush against him. Your hands comb through his wet hair and the only thing that breaks your kiss is more thunder. You pull away and every ounce of annoyance and anger you felt towards him, evaporated. You smiled and shook your head.

"I love you, too!"

Tom shakes his head and finishes off what's left in the bottle. He wishes that was the last of the fighting. He should have learned from that one, not to let you walk away. He should have learned to make you talk it out. But, he didn't. He let his anger get the best of him and he'd pick fights and then you'd pick fights and it was a never-ending cycle. Slamming doors and raw throats. The last fight was the usual, jealousy. The fight went on and on until you swore you'd never come back if you left and Tom didn't stop you.

"Tom?" A voice pulls his attention back. "You okay?"

"Fine." He says, clearing his throat.

"Well, I'm awake, care for another round." He can almost hear the devilish smirk dancing with the words.

Tom sighs, shaking the memories of you. "Yeah, coming."

Tom gets up and is met by a girl leaning on his windowsill, the complete opposite you. Just another one night stand to try and help him get through the night. Another night without you.