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Regretting everything (Tom Holland)


Requested by XXxAva_HollandxXX: Y/N and Tom get into a heated argument, and Tom ends up accidentally hitting her. No matter how much he apologises and begs her to stay, Y/N won't listen and breaks up with him for it. A week later, Tom goes to Y/N's apartment to try again to get her back, and they end up getting back together.

*Please note: as the request suggests, this one-shot contains themes of domestic abuse. If that's something that anyone feels like is too much for them to handle, please don't read this chapter, I'll be back soon with lighter stuff. If you're fine with that, as always, thank you, and enjoy xxx*


"I don't want to talk about this anymore, Tom." I sighed and shook my head as I walked around the house and picked random stuff up as I went, Tom following me like a lost puppy on my heels.

"It's something that we need to talk about, Y/N. I'm leaving again in two months, for a year and a half. We need to discuss if you're coming with me." He scoffed.

"And I already told you that I'm not." I spat as I put down the laundry basket before turning to face him.

"And I don't understand why not." He shook his head, making me sigh and clench my jaw at him. Tom and I had been together for two years now, and we were as happy as could be together. Of course as a couple, we had our fair share of fights, tonight being one that was slowly but surely becoming more heated as we went on. Due to Tom's job as an actor, naturally he had to travel a lot, with my boyfriend often being forced to spend months on end apart from me. We'd always made it work, but now he had to move back to America for a year and a half to film the third 'Spider-Man' movie. And he'd asked me to come with him. Normally, I wouldn't have hesitated to say yes. After all, I loved him, and I wasn't entirely sure if our relationship would survive us being apart for that long. But as much as I wanted to join him, I had my own responsibilities, including my own job, looking after Tessa whilst Tom was gone, and looking after our joint apartment too. This was where the fight had started. I had made it clear to Tom that whilst I wanted to join him, my responsibilities to both my own career and our growing life together just meant that it wouldn't work. And, well...he had argued back that we'd figure it out. As the fight progressed with me arguing that it wouldn't work and him insisting that it would, I had started to say that I wouldn't go purely out of spite for my boyfriend. I knew that that was immature, and I really did want to go with him, but I was always the one looking after his dog and our home whilst he was gone, so I knew how much it took to look after.

"I've told you why not a million times, Tom. Apart from my own career to think about, we have Tessa, we have this apartment, none of it can be just up and left." I nodded.

"You have a career that can be done remotely, for a company that also has offices in Atlanta, Tessa loves my family and so they can take her, and I can also get Sam to check the apartment every week. It's all fixable stuff." He replied before his eyes wavered.

"If you don't want to come, love, just say. There's no point in making up all of these excuses, it's childish." He mumbled and shook his head. My eyes widened at his words.

"What the fuck is that supposed to mean, Tom? Of course I want to come with you, I love you, so don't you dare try to imply that I'm just making excuses for not going." I snapped.

"What are you doing then?! Because you keep insisting that these responsibilities have you shackled to the UK, but all of it can be dealt with, or done from America! There's literally nothing stopping you from coming with me, so yeah, it definitely looks like you just don't want to go with me." He spat.

"I cannot BELIEVE you right now! Tom, I've always had these responsibilities, the only thing that's different this time is the fact that you're away for a much longer span of time!" I yelled. He scoffed and shook his head, tears pricking both of our eyes at this point as he looked down.

"You know what, love? I'm tired. We can talk about this tomorrow, I'm going to bed." He mumbled and shook his head as he turned around to head towards our room. My eyes widened again.

"Oh no you don't, you wanted to talk, so we'll fucking talk." I scoffed as I rushed to him and grabbed his bicep to try and turn him back around.

"Y/N, what the fuck, get off of me." He spat as he tried to shrug his arm out of my grip.

"Not until we talk, you want to talk, let's talk-."

"Stop being so childish!" He yelled before harshly pulling his arm out of my grip. Making his hand collide with my cheek in the process. My eyes widened, a gasp leaving my lips as I stumbled back from the shock of what had just happened. Tom's eyes widened too, my boyfriend's mouth falling open as I cupped my cheek with my hand. In reality, it really hadn't hurt that much, it was the fact that Tom had actually done it that hurt. The fact that he had actually hit me. He had done the one thing that I had always known that he'd never do to me...and yet he'd just done it. And that was breaking my fucking heart.

"Y/N, oh my god, sweetheart, are you okay?" Tom gulped as he outreached his hand to me and took a step forward. I gulped and took a step back in response, Tom's eyes wavering as tears started to leave mine.

"Love, I'm so sorry, I swear to god that I didn't mean to do that-."

"Don't, Tom, just...don't." I whispered and shook my head, my entire being going numb as I tried to process what had just happened. He bit his lip and just stared at me, his beautiful chocolate eyes lacing with regret and going glassy with tears as he looked at me. I could tell that he was sorry, could tell that he hadn't meant to do that, but I couldn't get past the fact that he had still done it. And I didn't know if I'd ever get past that.

"I won't be coming to America with you. I won't be coming because I'm no longer your girlfriend." I whispered. Tom's eyes widened, his mouth falling open again as tears started to silently leave his eyes.

"Darling, please, don't do this, it was an accident, I swear to god-."

"I'll get someone to pick up my stuff tomorrow. Enjoy your life in America." I choked, my heart having shattered into a million pieces as I grabbed my handbag, opened the door, and walked out of Tom's life. Potentially, for good.


Tom's P.O.V

"Stop being so childish!" Tom yelled before harshly pulling his arm out of Y/N's grip. Making his hand collide with her cheek in the process. Tom swore that the entire moment happened in slow motion, the palm of his hand slowly but surely getting closer to his girlfriend's face as he yanked his limb out of her grasp. And he was completely fucking powerless to stop it. Y/N's eyes widened, a gasp leaving her lips as she stumbled back from the shock of what had just happened. Tom's eyes widened too, the sound that had come from her breaking his fucking heart as his mouth fell open. Y/N cupped her cheek with her hand, Tom just staring at her with wide eyes as he tried to process what had just happened. The fact that he had just hit the love of his life. Even if it had been a complete accident, and something that he would never do intentionally.

"Y/N, oh my god, sweetheart, are you okay?" Tom gulped as he outreached his hand to her and took a step forward. She gulped and took a step back in response, Tom's eyes wavering as tears started to leave hers. She had stepped back from him...she was scared of him. That single, accidental action had been all that it took for her to completely lose trust in him, the fact of which was tearing Tom up inside. Of course he couldn't blame her for being shocked and upset, the problem was that he didn't know if he'd be able to fix this.

"Love, I'm so sorry, I swear to god that I didn't mean to do that-."

"Don't, Tom, just...don't." Y/N whispered and shook her head. He bit his lip and just stared at her, her stunning eyes lacing with sadness and going glassy with tears as he looked at her. Tom could tell that the moment had been understandably as much of a shock for Y/N as it had been for him, and right now, he was just praying that they'd be able to move past it.

"I won't be coming to America with you. I won't be coming because I'm no longer your girlfriend." Y/N whispered. Tom's eyes widened, his mouth falling open again as tears started to silently leave his eyes. He felt his heart break in his chest, all of the air being knocked out of his lungs and his head starting to spin at her words.

"Darling, please, don't do this, it was an accident, I swear to god-."

"I'll get someone to pick up my stuff tomorrow. Enjoy your life in America." Y/N choked, Tom's heart having shattered into a million pieces as she grabbed her handbag, opened the door, and walked out of Tom's life. The boy stood there and just stared at the open door with wide eyes and an open mouth, his brain trying but struggling to understand everything that had happened purely in the last ten minutes. How the fuck had the pair gone from having a fight, to him accidentally hitting her, to her breaking up with him? He had no idea, and he had no idea how to fix this. He choked and shook his head, tears silently streaming down his face as he sank to the floor, his back against the wall as he raised his hands to his face and sobbed into his skin.


~One week later~

Y/N's P.O.V

I sat on my sofa, my eyes drooping from crying and exhaustion as I mindlessly stared at the TV that was playing some random show. It had been a week since I had broken up with Tom over him accidentally hitting me, and I hadn't done much else besides sitting on the sofa, in my pyjamas, watching shitty TV, crying and eating ice cream. I had to admit that even after a few hours, leaving Tom had felt like a mistake, but it felt like something that I couldn't undo now. I had made such a big deal out of what he'd done and had completely ignored the fact that of course it hadn't been intentional. In my now rational state of mind, I knew that, I knew that Tom would never in a million years hit me intentionally. But it was done now, and I couldn't take it back. No matter how much I wanted to. I looked over the back of my sofa as I heard a gentle knock on my front door. I sighed and stood up, my mind not wanting to talk to people, but knowing that I should see who it was in case it was important. I slumped to the door and opened it...before immediately wishing that I'd at least brushed my hair, teeth, and put on some cute underwear before having done so. My eyes wavered, as did Tom's as he stood on my doorstep with his hands in his hoodie pockets.

"Hey, sweetheart." He mumbled quietly, making me gulp. I had to admit, it was clear that Tom had taken our break-up just as badly as I had done. The boy had massive bags under his eyes, the small patches of acne on his skin telling me that he hadn't washed his face in a good few days. His beautiful curls were messy and unruly, and I would have taken time to appreciate how good they looked if I hadn't known why they looked like that. Like me, he was in clearly unwashed clothes, his sweatpants and pink hoodie creased and slightly stained as they sat against his body. I bit my lip and looked at him.

"Come in." I responded equally as quietly, the boy not even needing to ask for permission for me to let him. He gave me a small smile as he walked in and shut the door behind him as I headed back to the sofa. We both sat down, our bodies facing each other as we looked at each other.

"Look, love, I-I know that I apologised last week for what happened, and I know that you left me anyway, but, fuck, I had to try again, because this week has been hell for me. I'm not saying that to make you feel sorry for me, or anything like that, but I can't live without you, sweetheart. Every morning, I've rolled over and put my arm out, expecting it to go over your waist like it normally does. I've made two cups of tea each morning. I've gone shopping and have gone to buy something that I think that you'll like before having to stop myself and reminding myself that I no longer go home to you being there. It's only been a week, and I miss you so fucking much, my love. I know that I really fucked up, I get that, but you've got to believe that it was truly an accident. You know that I'd never hurt you like that." He choked and shook his head, tears leaving his gorgeous chocolate eyes as they flicked over my face. I bit my lip and tried not to cry too as I looked at him.

"I appreciate the apology, Tommy. And, well...whilst I agree that you fucked up...it may also be true that I may have overreacted a little bit." I admitted with a nod. Tom's eyes wavered again.

"You didn't, love, breaking up with someone for hitting you is a completely valid response-."

"Yeah, breaking up with someone for intentionally hitting you. I know that you would never hit me on purpose, I know that it was a complete accident, and let's face it, it wouldn't have happened if I would have let you walk away. But the truth is that I've missed you so much this week, too. As you can probably tell from the state of me, and my apartment, I've not been able to do much." I gestured around us with my hands, making Tom chuckle and bite his lip.

"So, does that mean that you'll take me back, sweetheart?" He asked hopefully.

"Yeah. And it means that I'll go to America with you too." I admitted. His eyes widened.

"Darling, I-that's amazing, but you don't have to-."

"No, but I want to. And you're right, Tommy, I can work from over there, Tessa can go stay with your parents, and they can look after the house too. I don't know why I was so adamant that it wouldn't work, but it will. Unless of course, you now don't want me coming with you." I teased.

"Don't be silly, sweetheart, of course I do." He smiled, making me laugh as he leant forward and tightly hugged me. I returned it, my eyes fluttering shut as I let myself sink into his arms for the first time in a week. It had only been seven days, but I had missed more than anything his scent, his skin, his curls tickling my shoulder as we hugged. And I'd never let that go again.

"I love you, darling. And I'm sorry for everything." He mumbled.

"I love you too, Tommy. And I'm sorry too." I returned, making him give me a small smile as he pulled away, but only to lean in and instead kiss me.

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