Requested by CrazyCatTeen35: Y/N was taken by the Black Widow programme but escaped during her teenage years, and then was found by Nat, who took her to the Avengers. Years later, she's married to Peter. Peter wants them to start a family, but doesn't know that Y/N can't have children because of the graduation ceremony. Peter eventually finds out about this from Nat, and comforts Y/N, as she feels extremely guilty.

*Please note: this chapter contains themes of forced sterilisation, so please be aware of this if you're choosing to read ahead. Thank you, and enjoy xoxo*

I lay on my side in bed, tears rolling down my face and my naked body wrapped in both the bed sheets and my husband's muscular arms as I stared into the darkness of our bedroom. I bit my lip harshly in an attempt to muffle my sobs, my mind determined not to wake Peter up from his slumber. After all, we'd had a really long and exhausting night once again of trying to get pregnant. Without it working. I gulped again and put my hand over Peter's, my husband's palm against my stomach as if he had the power to put our very own baby into my body, as well as his spidey-senses. But of course, as far as he was concerned, he could do that, it was just a matter of time. Little did Peter know that we wouldn't get pregnant, no matter how hard we tried. And that fact would always break my heart. I hadn't had an easy life by anyone's standards, but that had all changed when I had met Peter, ten years ago now. Before that, I had been raised by the infamous Black Widow programme, the strict regime that raised girls and women to be the perfect assassins. I had hated it my whole life, it had led me into many depressions, and of course a life of killing. I had never wanted that, and so life got that little bit better when I had managed to escape the grips of the Widow programme at sixteen. I had managed to track down Natasha Romanoff, and she had taken me into the Avengers before making me a part of the team. That was how I'd met Peter. I had known immediately that he was the love of my life, and it was obvious that the adorable and yet also hot as fuck boy felt the same about me when he asked me out after only a matter of weeks and we started dating. The rest was history, with us now being married for the last five years, and trying for a baby for the last six months. But that was the one thing that Peter didn't know about me. And that was that I couldn't have children. I squeezed my eyes shut, tears now relentlessly streaming down my face as I thought back to the fateful day. The day where my future, and the lives of all of my future children, was taken away from me in one fell knife swoop.

"No, please, stop, please don't do this." I choked and shook my head, everything in me fighting against the two nurses holding my arms as they dragged me harshly out of my room.

"It's all going to be okay, Black Widow. It's all alright." One of the nurses said in an emotionless and monotone voice as they dragged me down the black-walled and poorly-lit corridor.

"Let me go! I don't want this, fucking let me go!" I screamed, my resistance and kicks not even phasing the nurses slightly as they pulled me into the room where they had dragged so many of my friends before me. I knew what happened in this room, I knew what was about to be taken away from me. But what was worse was knowing that I couldn't do anything to stop it.

"STOP, PLEASE! YOU DON'T HAVE TO DO THIS, STOP!" I screamed at the top of my lungs, but it didn't phase any of the stone-faced surgeons as the nurses forced me down onto the operation table before strapping my wrists and ankles to the harshly icy surface.

"Just relax, Black Widow. It's all going to be okay." The nurse spoke one more time, making my eyes widen as she put an oxygen mask over my nose and mouth.

"Stop, please, stop!" I yelled, but my words were muffled by the plastic as my body started to inhale the roofie into my lungs. Only seconds after, I could already feel the exhaustion taking over, my eyes fluttering despite every ounce of will that I had telling me to not as I felt my body slip into unconsciousness.

"That's it, Black Window. It's all going to be okay. I promise." She mumbled, her voice now sounding miles away as my body gave up, and I fell asleep. No matter how much I wanted to stay awake.

I swallowed the lump in my throat, the light of the rising sun starting to flood our room as morning started to look upon us. I would always feel so fucking guilty that I knew that Peter wanted to start a family, and I did too, and yet I still hadn't told him. But I didn't have it in me to tell him. To tell him that we'd never have our own baby that would come from my body. That I couldn't do the one thing that he wanted me to. That I couldn't give him the one thing that he wanted. I would feel eternally guilty for that, and I didn't know how I'd ever get over that.

Peter's P.O.V

"Hello? Anyone home?" Peter yelled, his fingers absentmindedly playing with his silver wedding ring as he stepped out of the elevator, and into the Avengers' Tower living room.

"Oh, hey, Pete, what brings you here?" Nat smiled at him from the sofa.

"Nothing much. Y/N went to go see her parents today, so figured that I'd come by here." He nodded as he slumped down onto the sofa next to her. After all, this place was his second home, and had acted as his first home for a decade, so he still felt completely welcomed and like he'd always belonged there.

"Oh, yeah? How are things going with you two?" Nat asked. Peter couldn't help but smile and bite his lip at the question. After all, he was the happiest that he'd ever been with his wife, and ultimately the love of his life. They had just celebrated their five year anniversary of being married, and they had now been trying for a baby for the last six months. Peter had everything that he wanted, and his spidey senses were telling him that Y/N would fall pregnant with the final piece of the puzzle of their perfect life together soon enough. And he couldn't wait for the day when the pregnancy test would finally have two lines, instead of just one.

"They're really good, yeah. We, um...we've actually started trying for a baby." Peter admitted with the smile that he'd started wearing the second that he'd started to think about Y/N. But as soon as he said that, Nat's eyes wavered, her smile dipping as she looked at him.

"Wh...as in you've found a surrogate?" She asked. Peter's eyebrows furrowed in confusion at her words.

"No, as in we're trying to get pregnant...Y/N is trying to get pregnant." He scoffed and nodded, his head now filled with confusion as to why Nat's first thought had been surrogacy. Nat's eyes wavered again, her lips falling open as if she'd just realised something.

"Oh my god, she hasn't told you...Peter, I'm so sorry." She whispered and shook her head. The boy just looked at her in confusion, his heart starting to pound with anxiety at her words. What did Nat mean, Y/N hadn't told him? What had his wife been keeping from him? This was scaring him, especially in the context of them starting a family together.

"Nat, what are you talking about? You're starting to scare me." He gulped and shook his head. Nat returned the gulp and nodded as she sat forward, fear filling every inch of his body as she gently took his hands before looking into his eyes.

"Pete, you know that Y/N was a member of the Black Widows." She stated simply. Peter gulped and nodded, his heart now racing so quickly that he felt sick as he hung onto every word that she said.

"Well, at, um...at the end of the programme, every widow goes through a...well...they call it a graduation. Ex black widows call it torture. A-anyway. Every widow goes through...sterilisation." That single word hit Peter like a tonne of bricks. Every cell in his body went ice cold and red hot at the same time, his heart stopping in his chest as he tried to process what Nat had just said. That Y/N had been...sterilised. And of course, he knew exactly what that meant. It meant that no matter how hard they tried, no matter how long they tried for, they'd never be able to get Y/N pregnant. And that alone broke Peter into a million fucking pieces.

"W-what? S-she went through...she can't have kids?" He choked and shook his head. Nat returned the head shake and soothingly moved her thumbs against the back of Peter's hands.

"I'm so sorry, Pete. She can't have kids. And I guarantee you that that breaks her just as much as it breaks you." She nodded. He choked again and looked down, his world falling apart around him in an instant. His wife couldn't have kids. The love of his life couldn't have their children. And he just knew that it hurt her as much as it hurt him.

"Why wouldn't she t-tell me that? Why wouldn't she fucking tell me?" He cried, tears now silently rolling down his face as he squeezed his eyes shut.

"For the exact reason that you think, Pete. It breaks her heart. It breaks all of our hearts. So I can promise you that how shitty you feel right now, is how she's felt every second of her life since she got sterilised. This hurts her just as much." Nat nodded. Peter choked and returned it, his heart hurting so much for both him and Y/N. For the fact that they'd never be able to have their own children that would come from Y/N's body. But now, the only thought that was taking over his mind was that he needed to talk to Y/N. And he needed to talk to her now.

Y/N's P.O.V

Peter and I lay in bed, my head and hand resting on my husband's naked torso as his fingers gently traced circles on my also naked back. My eyes fluttered as I fought to stay awake, though the sound of Peter's gentle heartbeat against my ear made that harder by the second. But that was all about to change.

"Why didn't you tell me that you can't have children?" Peter mumbled, almost so quietly that I didn't hear him. But, I did. My eyes wavered, my heart almost stopping in my chest at his words. I had no idea how he'd found out my secret, but that didn't matter now. All that mattered was that he knew. I slowly sat up in bed, Peter following suit and pressing his lips tenderly to my neck as he curled his arm around my waist.

"Because that's all that you've ever wanted, Pete. You've always wanted what both of us were robbed of. How the fuck was I ever supposed to tell you that we'd never have a child when you want a family so badly?" I whispered and shook my head as tears started to leave my eyes.

"Oh, baby. Fuck, babe." Peter choked, making me squeeze my eyes shut as he gently took my head and held it against his chest. I just let him hold me, tears leaving our eyes as Peter cuddled me like he never had before.

"I want a family, of course I do. But I will always want you more. And I never gave a fuck how we did it. Sure, you having a baby would be ideal, but surrogacy, adoption, anything that would give us a family would be perfect for me." He spoke softly into my hair. I choked and raised my head to look at him, Peter giving me a warm smile as his eyes flicked over my face, and his fingers gently tucked a strand of my hair behind my ear.

"Really, Pete?" I choked quietly.

"Really, baby. Trust me, it breaks my heart that you can't have a baby. But it breaks my heart because I know that you've always wanted a baby. All I want is a family with you. But I don't care how we get that." He promised, the chocolate eyes that I fell in love with looking into my own eyes to show me how sincere he was. I wouldn't help but give him a small smile, tears still streaming down both of our faces as I gently pressed our foreheads together.

"I'm sorry that I didn't tell you, Pete. But I love you. So fucking much." I choked and shook my head.

"It's okay, baby, because I love you too. And I can't wait to start a family with you. No matter how we do it." He nodded, making me give him one more small smile before leaning in and gently pressing our lips together.