Requested by writer17xox: Y/N and Peter are grieving Tony's death, Peter more so than Y/N. He decides that he doesn't deserve the suit that Tony made for him, so he hangs it up and leaves his Spider-Man days behind, as he believes that he can't continue without Tony. Y/N comforts him, and convinces him that he's wrong.

*Please note: this chapter contains themes of mental health issues, as well as themes of self-medication. If that sounds too heavy for anyone, please don't read this chapter, I'll be back soon with lighter ones. Also, if anyone does struggle with the themes mentioned here, please know that you're not alone. There is always someone in your corner, always someone there for you, so please talk to someone if you need to. Thank you, and I love you all xoxo* 

My eyebrows furrowed, my body being pulled out of sleep as I felt Peter stir next to me. I reluctantly peeled one eye open and sighed at what I saw. My gaze fell on the now familiar sight of Peter sitting on the edge of the bed, his gorgeous back to me as his head hung.

"Baby?" I mumbled as I propped myself up onto my elbows.

"Hm." Was all that I got in return from the love of my love. I sighed again and sat up properly, my body moving towards Peter as I curled my arms over his shoulders and landed my hands on his naked chest.

"Come back to bed with me, P." I whispered, the boy barely responding to me as I leant down and pressed my lips to his neck.

"I can't sleep, baby. You know that." Peter returned before his head raised to look at the source of his sadness. My eyes wavered, sadness also filling my heart as I followed his gaze. Soon enough landing on the reason for why we were mourning. Peter's Spider-Man suit. Peter and I were eighteen, and had been through a lot in our young relationship, the primary obstacle being that we both got blipped. Tony and the rest of the team had fought to bring us back, a year ago now, but we had undoubtedly taken major losses as part of that. The biggest loss, especially for Peter, had been Tony. From the second that our mentor's heart had stopped, a part of Peter's had too. Of course I had been there for him as much as I could, but it never seemed to be enough. At least it hadn't been enough to save Spider-Man. I hadn't realised just how broken my boyfriend had been until he had taken off the suit nine months ago, and hadn't put it on again since. Peter felt responsible for Tony's death, he felt responsible for what had happened, and so had started to feel like he no longer deserved to wear the suit that Tony had made for him. No matter how hard I'd tried to convince Peter otherwise, no matter how many late nights we had just like this one, the now dulling spandex suit had been hanging on the door of our wardrobe for almost a year. A part of me even feared that it would never come down again.

"What can I do to help?" I whispered as I continued to press my lips to his neck in an attempt to comfort him. Peter sighed and turned his head to look at me, making me gulp as he put his hand on my thigh and gave me a small but obviously forced smile.

"You already do everything that you can, angel. And I love you for that." He nodded. I sighed and returned the nod, my mind far from convinced by his words but deciding that right now, we both just needed sleep as I put my hand on his cheek.

"Come on, Pete. Let's at least try and get some sleep." I suggested.

"Yeah, my love. That's a good idea." He gave me a small smile, making me return it as Peter leant in and pressed our lips together. I returned the kiss, my eyes fluttering shut as I used my hand on his cheek to pull him closer. We continued to slowly kiss as Peter gently pushed against me, his body pinning me down to our bed within seconds as he pulled me close. He broke the kiss, my boyfriend placing one last kiss on my neck before nuzzling his face further into the crook. I sighed and stared up at the ceiling, Peter just lying on top of me as I reassuringly combed through his curls. Though I had to admit that I was starting to worry about what I could do for Peter. And the fact that right now, that didn't feel like enough.

Peter's P.O.V

Peter sat on the edge of the bed, his head down and his hands gripping the edge of the mattress as the deafening silence of his and Y/N's room surrounded him. He had no idea what time it was, not that it particularly mattered. All that mattered was that he was awake, and that that wouldn't change soon. Peter would admit to himself that he hadn't been the same since Tony had died, and he knew that Y/N was also feeling that. He hated himself for that, but admittedly couldn't help that. Peter and Y/N were eighteen, and had been through a lot in their young relationship, the primary obstacle being that they both got blipped. Tony and the rest of the team had fought to bring them back, for which of course Peter would be eternally grateful. After all, he had gotten May back, had gotten Y/N back, had gotten his life back. But they had also taken major losses as part of that. The biggest loss, especially for Peter, had been Tony. From the second that his mentor's heart had stopped, a part of Peter's had too. Of course Y/N had been there for him as much as she could, but Peter knew that she didn't think that it ever seemed to be enough. At least, it hadn't stopped Peter from giving up Spider-Man. Peter hadn't realised just how broken he'd been until he had taken off the suit nine months ago, and hadn't put it on again since. He hadn't even planned to end his job as the superhero. All Peter knew was that he felt responsible for Tony's death, he felt responsible for what had happened, and so had started to feel like he no longer deserved to wear the suit that Tony had made for him. The love of his life had desperately tried to convince Peter otherwise, but the now dulling spandex suit was still hanging on the door of their wardrobe, after almost a year. A part of Peter even feared that it would never come down again, and he knew that Y/N had the same fear too.

"Baby?" Peter's eyes wavered as he heard Y/N's gentle voice.

"Hm." Was all that Peter could force himself to respond with. Y/N sighed and sat up properly, the rustling of the sheets and his Spidey-senses telling Peter where she was as she curled her arms over his shoulders and landed her small hands on his naked chest.

"Come back to bed with me, P." She whispered, the boy barely responding to her as she leant down and pressed her soft lips to his neck.

"I can't sleep, baby. You know that." Peter returned before his head raised to look at the suit again.

"What can I do to help?" Y/N whispered as she continued to press her lips softly to his neck. Peter sighed and turned his head to look at her, making Y/N gulp as he put his hand on her thigh and gave her a small smile. Though he could see in Y/N's face that she knew that the smile was so obviously forced, which wouldn't help Peter's case.

"You already do everything that you can, angel. And I love you for that." He nodded. The love of his life sighed as she put her hand lovingly on his cheek.

"Come on, Pete. Let's at least try and get some sleep." She suggested.

"Yeah, my love. That's a good idea." He gave her another small smile, making her return it as Peter leant in and pressed their lips together. Y/N returned the kiss, Peter's eyes fluttering shut as she used her hand on his cheek to pull him closer. The pair continued to slowly kiss as Peter gently pushed against her, his body pinning her down to their bed within seconds as he pulled her close. He broke the kiss, his lips placing one last kiss on her neck before nuzzling his face further into the crook of it. He sighed into her skin, curled his arms underneath her and closed his eyes again, Peter just lying on top of the love of his life as she reassuringly combed her fingers through his curls. He knew that she was worried about him, and he hated that he put her through that, even if it was unintentional. But he was determined to never stop showing his love for her. Even if it killed him.

Y/N's P.O.V

I sat on the edge of mine and Peter's bed, tears relentlessly streaming down my face as I stared at the countless pill bottles that I'd found under Peter's side of the bed. The issue was that neither Peter nor I were prescribed any medications, and I knew that Peter would tell me if he was. It wasn't as if I had suspected that my boyfriend was self-medicating, I had innocently been tidying up our bedroom a bit, and had stretched that to decluttering the space underneath our bed, which was what had led to my discovery. The fact that they were hidden only added to my fear that Peter had been using these wrongly, which took my concerns about him to a whole new level. Now I was determined to get him back, no matter what I had to do.

"You okay, baby?" My eyes wavered, my heart dropping the second that I heard Peter's voice from behind me. I looked over my shoulder at Peter, his eyebrows furrowing at my broken expression.

"Whatcha got there?" He chuckled somewhat nervously. I nodded and wordlessly raised just one of the many bottles that I'd found. Immediately Peter's eyes wavered, his lips falling open as he saw what I was so upset over.

"Baby-."

"What have you done, Peter? What have you done to yourself?" I choked and shook my head as I stood up and went to him.

"I'm sorry, angel-."

"I can't lose you too, Peter. And so, this ends now." I nodded. Peter choked and dropped his head as he slumped down to sit on our bed, his head in his hands as he started to sob. I bit my lip in a weak attempt to stop myself from crying as I sat down next to Peter.

"Look at me, baby. Look at me." I cooed softly as I cupped his face, and gently moved it so that he looked at me. He just stared at me with red and puffy eyes, making my heart break as my gaze flicked over his face.

"I know that things have been really hard for you since Tony died. I know that you feel like you no longer deserve to be Spider-Man. But trust me, Pete, you don't deserve this." I scoffed and shook my head, everything in me trying not to cry even more than I already was for Peter's sake as I gestured to the pill bottles now lying on the floor.

"I-I know, I just...I miss him so fucking much, baby. And I was so close to making him proud as Spider-Man, I was so close, and then just like that, he was gone." He sobbed and shook his head. Every word from Peter's lips broke my heart, tears also leaving my eyes as I gently pressed our foreheads together.

"Oh, Pete. He wasn't proud of Spider-Man. He was proud of you. It was always you. Yes, he was so proud of what you could do as Spider-Man, but it was never the suit that he was proud of. It was you." I nodded. Peter gulped and looked at me, making my heart jump in hope as something different in his eyes gave me optimism that I was finally getting somewhere with him. And so, I kept going.

"You know that you were like a son to Tony. You made him so fucking proud, and I know that it hurts so fucking much to have lost him, but you have the chance to continue making him proud. And you do that by putting the suit back on, and being yourself again." I spoke softly. Peter sniffed and nodded as he wiped his nose with the back of his hand, his body moving more into mine as he rested the side of his head against mine.

"You're right, babe. Fuck, you're right. I need to get myself out of this funk, and there's only one way to do that. Fuck, baby. I'm sorry, I'm so sorry." He choked as he looked at me. I shook my head and gave Peter a small smile as I put my hand back on his cheek, my thumb soothingly rubbing the skin as we looked into each other's eyes.

"You have nothing to be sorry for, P. I just love you, and want you to be okay." I reassured.

"I know, baby, and I love you for that. I love you so much." Peter choked and shook his head before leaning in and gently kissing me. I returned the kiss, my eyes fluttering shut and hope once again filling my heart at the fact that I had finally gotten him back. I had finally gotten my Peter back. And I just knew that this time, he was here to stay.