Tom's P.O.V

"We've been hooking up for eight months now, Tom. Eight months of us constantly having the conversation about when you were finally going to ask me out, eight months of you fucking me and then telling me that you weren't ready yet. That you wanted to wait another month still. Eight fucking months of me falling for you every time that we were together because I thought that you were feeling the same. Eight months of that and NOW is when you turn around and say that I'm better as a fucking hook-up?!" Y/N exclaimed and shook her head as tears ran down her face. Tom's face softened at her words, his eyes also glazing over as he looked at her. In reality, it was an understatement to say that Tom had also fallen deeply for Y/N too in the time that they'd been hooking up. He didn't even like her at this point, he was fully in love with her, but he was also a very emotionally stunted fuckboy who was very bad at portraying any emotion that didn't require the use of his dick. Tom was terrified of commitment, even with someone as perfect with Y/N, and so it had always been easier just to fuck her and hope that she would drop the idea of them dating. But of course, that hadn't been how things had happened, leaving Tom in the tough situation of him being too scared to ask her out, and her now thinking that his feelings for her had been a lie this whole time. He was screwed.

"Look, it was never my intention to do this to you. I do like you, Y/N, I really do, but I'm also not the guy for commitment-."

"That's what everyone says until they find the right person. Good to know I'm not the person who you give up your fear of commitment for." She choked and nodded as she grabbed her bag and turned for the door.

"You are! It's just that-."

"Just that what, Tom?! Please tell me because I cannot wait to hear this half-baked, arrogant asshole excuse for why after a year of fucking me and having feelings for me, you still can't find it in you to commit. Please tell me because I'd love to hear!" She laughed and shook her head as tears continued to stream down her face. His eyes wavered, a tear slipping down his own skin as he looked at her. It broke his heart to have made her this upset and to know that he'd really fucked up his chance with her, but he didn't know what else to do short of telling her the real truth. But that opened him up to getting just as hurt, and he wasn't ready for that. Not yet, anyway.

"I-I...I don't have an excuse." He shook his head. The beautiful girl nodded and harshly bit her lip.

"That's what I thought, Tom. That's what I thought." She choked and shook her head before opening his door and leaving his room. Tom just sat there in his bed as he watched her go, his heart and mind numbed from pain and anything else as he let her leave. Every inch of his body was begging him to move, screaming at him to go after her and tell her the truth but he just...couldn't. He didn't see a way back from this. He gulped harshly and wiped the tears from his eyes as he pulled the condom off and binned it. He grabbed his boxers and pulled them on, getting himself dressed again as he pulled on his t-shirt and a pair of sweatpants before heading downstairs. Harrison looked up at him from his seat at the breakfast bar in the kitchen, the blond boy's eyebrows furrowing as Tom slumped in.

"Mate, Y/N just rushed out, and she looked upset. Is everything okay?" He asked. Tom gulped and shook his head, the boy desperately trying not to cry as he gripped the edge of the counter and leant against it.

"No, it's really not. We were having sex and I let it slip that she would be better staying a casual hook-up than becoming my girlfriend." He mumbled quietly. Harrison's eyebrows furrowed and he narrowed his eyes at him.

"Okay...but she wouldn't be, because you love her, and you want her as your girlfriend, so why the fuck did you say that to her?" He scoffed.

"I said it because I'm fucking terrified of commitment, Haz. I love her but she's been asking since she first found out that I have feelings when I was going to make a move, but I've never gotten closer to being ready. I've been falling for her the whole time and yet I'm not ready yet. Maybe this is for the best, maybe it's best that our friends-with-benefits deal stops and she starts hating me so that neither of us get hurt any more than we already have been." He choked and shook his head.

"That's genuinely the worst fucking idea that I've ever heard come from your mouth." Harrison nodded. Tom's eyes widened as he looked up at him.

"Harrison, what the fuck?! You're meant to be my supportive best friend!" He exclaimed.

"I am, which is why I'm telling you that that's an awful idea. What you need to do is win her back." He stated. Tom sighed and shook his head.

"And then what? I win her back and we go back to casually fucking because I'm still not ready for that commitment?" He scoffed.

"You are ready, though. The problem is that you have a mental block in place telling you that you're not ready. You clearly feel upset right now at the idea of losing Y/N, that's how you know that you're ready for the commitment. You don't want to lose her, not to mention the obvious fact that you love her. She loves you back too, so what's the problem?" He shrugged. Tom gulped and looked down, his heart jumping at the fact that his best mate did have a point. The boy had been so busy telling himself that he wasn't ready for commitment, that he wasn't ready to have a real girlfriend instead of just fucking around, that he'd been pushing back his feelings for Y/N. But when he thought about it, he loved her. He was falling for her more by the day, and if that wasn't enough to make Tom start to push back against the mental block that he had, he didn't know what was. He had to try.

"Okay, so, what do I do? Because I doubt that she'll want to talk to me after what I just said." Tom gulped.

"Make her talk to you, Tom. Do your usual routine of getting her behind the psych shelves-yes, literally everyone on campus has seen you do it-and ask her to come back here. Tell her that you don't want to hook up, you just want to talk, and push her on that. If you're flippant and cold about it, she'll think that you don't care and won't give you the time. You need to be genuine about this, mate." He nodded. Tom sighed and returned it, his stomach twisting in anxiety about having to talk to Y/N. About the thought of actually losing her for good. Harrison was right, he had to make it clear what his feelings for Y/N were, and make it clear that he was in love with her by this point. Otherwise their relationship might have ended before it had even had a chance to start.

~One week later~

Y/N's P.O.V

I sat in the university's library, my head down and my pen scribbling against the paper as I made notes for my upcoming assignment. My eyes wavered, my heart skipping a beat as I felt a presence behind me. A pair of arms curled around me, the hands attached to the ends planting themselves onto the desk and trapping me in between the table and the person's body as they put their lips to my ear.

"Psychology section." Tom whispered in my ear, making me scoff and shake my head as I desperately tried not to turn around and slap his stupidly handsome face.

"Fuck you, Tom-."

"Please." He cut me off. I sighed and clenched my jaw, my eyes refusing to look at him as I nodded.

"Thank you." He whispered before his presence disappeared again. I rolled my eyes to myself as I collected all of my work up and shoved it into my bag before standing up. It had been a week since Tom and I had hooked up and he'd made the comment about me being a better casual fling than a girlfriend, and I'd been actively avoiding him ever since. I had been deeply hurt by Tom's words, especially given that it had been eight months of us knowing that we had feelings for each other, and him just refusing to act on them. That was the worst part. I knew that he liked me, I knew that those rumours weren't bullshit. I just didn't know why he only pursued me for sex. I got to the psychology shelves, making Tom look up at me.

"This better be good, and so help me god, it better not start with 's' and end with 'ex'." I scoffed and shook my head, making Tom sigh and nod as he timidly looked at me.

"I know that you've been avoiding me, and believe me, I don't blame you. But I really need to talk to you, somewhere that doesn't have hundreds of other students studying." He spoke quietly.

"Why the fuck should I believe a word that you say anymore, Tom? I was fucking you for eight months believing that we were always on the cusp of a relationship, and then you blurt out during sex that no, we never have been." I whispered and shook my head.

"That's what I need to talk to you about, Y/N. Look, I'm not trying to get you back to mine to give you a half-baked apology and then expect make-up sex. I'm trying to get you back to mine to talk. For me to give you the full story of why I've been an asshole. Even if you don't forgive me, which I would understand, you deserve that much at least." He nodded. I sighed and looked at him. Something in the way that he was looking at me told me that he was telling the truth, there was something about the glint that was in his eyes. It was hurt and heartbroken in a way that usually, it wasn't.

"Fine, fucks' sake. But I swear to god, Tom Holland, if your hand travels even an inch, I am never talking to you again, let alone fucking you." I warned.

"That's fair, love. Thank you." He nodded, making me sigh as I followed him out from the shelves.

Tom and I headed into his room, a somewhat awkward silence between us as I sat down on his bed and he shut the door behind us. I looked up at him, the boy giving me a small smile as he sat down next to me.

"So, what's this big explanation that you have for me?" I asked quietly. Tom sighed and leant forward, his elbows on his knees and his hands joined as he looked down at the floor.

"I'm known around the uni as the stereotypical, emotionally stunted asshole fuckboy who's only ever interested in fucking girls and isn't interested in a relationship of any kind. Whilst that's not me, the emotionally stunted part is. I can't tell you exactly why, darling, because I don't even know why, but I'm terrified of commitment. The idea of committing to one person who I fucking love, that's you, and then fucking it up and getting myself hurt whilst also hurting them is just something that I don't deal with well. There's nothing worse in my head than hurting the person that I love by fucking up the relationship with them. So, I started to have a real problem with myself when I started falling for you, and so I really wanted to be with you, but had also hit the wall of being terrified to get hurt and also hurt you." He started. I sighed and looked at him, tears pricking my eyes at his words and my heart swelling at the fact that he was finally being honest. And he was doing it for me.

"You said that over the eight months that we've been sleeping together, you've fallen for me. The truth is that in that time, I've fallen for you too. How couldn't I, everything about you is fucking perfect, sweetheart. And then I hit this mental brick wall of not wanting to push it any further, not wanting to admit to you that yes, you're a lot more than just meaningless sex to me. But at the same time, I need to break through that eventually. The right person to do that for is the person that I love. And that person is you." He nodded as he finally looked up at me. My eyes wavered, my heart jumping in my chest at his words as a tear left my eye. I couldn't believe that this was finally happening. After eight months of doubting if I was enough, eight months of just having to hope that Tom would finally admit his feelings to me and ask me out, he was doing it. And it was perfect.

"It's sweet, Tommy, it really is. But what you said the other day really fucked me up, and I need to know that things won't go back to this point once we're in a relationship. Honestly, I love you too, but I'd rather just not be with you, than be with you and having bad changes constantly happen because you can't handle the commitment." I choked and shook my head. Tom gave me a small smile, tears also leaving his eyes as he took my hand.

"I know, sweetheart. What I said wasn't okay, I can understand why you left and why it upset you. But I'm ready to do this. I'm ready to push past the mental block that stops me from wanting to commit, and I'm ready to do that for you. I love you, Y/N, and I really want to try and make this work." He shook his head as his gorgeous eyes stared into my own. I gulped and bit my lip, my heart racing in my chest at the fact that this was finally happening. Even if it had taken almost a year.

"Okay, Tommy. I'm ready to do this too. But you need to talk to me, okay? If you start getting unsure again, you need to tell me, none of this lying and bullshit to protect your feelings. I get that this is scary and I get that you're terrified of being hurt, but everyone is, and unfortunately, it's a part of life. I need you to be honest with me if we're going to do this." I nodded.

"I promise, beautiful. I'm willing to do everything that I need to to show you that I'm serious about this." He promised.

"Okay then. Then yes, I'll be your girlfriend. I'll take this step with you." I spoke.

"Brilliant, love. Thank you." He smiled, making me return it as he leant in and gently kissed me. I returned it, my eyes fluttering shut and my hands raising to cup his face as his hands held my waist. My heart and mind were finally happy at the idea that Tom and I would officially start dating, I just had to hope that he'd stick to it. But the only way to find that out was to trust him. And so, that's what I'd do. Tom broke the kiss and touched our foreheads, my eyes fluttering open to see that he was already gazing at me gently.

"I love you, darling. And I promise that I'm going to make this work." He whispered.

"Good, Tommy. Because I love you too." I returned. He smiled and nodded, making me return it and bite my lip as he leant in and kissed me again.