Requested by tomhollandswife09: Whilst Tom is away filming, Y/N gets raped. When Tom comes back, she's so traumatised from that day that she barely lets him touch her, and she's changed to wearing baggy and large clothes because of how insecure she now feels in her body. Tom doesn't know why she won't let him touch her and starts to think that she's cheated on him. After a few weeks, they get invited to dinner at Tom's family's house, where their relationship is brought up. Tom uses this as a chance to question Y/N's change in behaviour and ask if she's been cheating, leading to her admitting what really happened.

*Trigger warning: as the request suggests, this one-shot contains very heavy themes of rape and sexual assault. I appreciate this can be a very triggering topic for a lot of people, myself included, so please DO NOT read this if this is not a topic you think you can read about without getting traumatised, triggered or anything like that. As always I am here if anyone needs to talk, and I will not tolerate ANY comments that suggest that rape is in any way the fault of the victim or can be prevented in any way. That being said if you choose to still read this chapter, please enjoy, and keep yourselves safe xoxo* 

I sat in the corner of the bedroom, tears silently running down my cheeks and my knees protectively tucked up to my chest as I stared at the naked man who was lying in the sheets on the bed. I gulped harshly, my eyes wavering and an overwhelming sense of numbness starting to creep over me as my mind tried and failed to process what had happened. The more that I sat there, my hands shaking uncontrollably and drops of salt water silently leaving trails on my skin, the more that my body felt less like my own. The more that I felt, hoped, begged, that this body wasn't mine. Because if it wasn't mine, that meant that the horrific thing that had happened in my sleep hadn't happened to me. I bit my lip and squeezed my eyes shut as I looked down, my chest feeling empty as my mind started to actually comprehend what had happened. I was the girlfriend of three years to Tom Holland, famous actor, and love of my life. He had been away on and off for the last year and a half filming the third 'Spider-Man' movie, and due to my own work commitments, I had always been unable to fly out and join him for more than a week-long visit. We were coming to the end of the last two months of filming, meaning that I only had to wait another three days before he was home for good, until his next job anyway, but that would still give us at least half a year together. But now, it was ruined. It was fucking ruined. Despite Tom being back in only three days now, last night I had started to feel more lonely than usual at the lack of my boyfriend's presence in our shared apartment, so I had taken a friend up on her offer of a party. I had gone along, had had the time of my life, and had passed out after a few hours after having drunk the night away. And then I had woken up, completely naked in a bed that I didn't recognise, next to a man that I didn't recognise. The issue was that I knew that I hadn't cheated on Tom. I had passed out before I had even seen this guy for the first time, I hadn't seen him once at the party, and I had definitely passed out fully dressed and alone. Which meant that he'd...that I'd been...I choked again, my heart plummeting to my feet as I didn't even want to admit it to myself. But I knew what had happened, and I felt absolutely fucking disgusting for it. I could feel phantom handprints all over my body, could feel the hot breath of someone who wasn't there on my neck and trailing down my skin. I couldn't stand any of it, but I also knew now that there was nothing that I could do to change the past. I gulped harshly and finally forced myself to stand up on uneasy feet. I grabbed my clothes and hurriedly put them on, my dress still hanging open at the back as I grabbed my shoes and clutch before padding to the door. Part of me wanted to look back, to see what he looked like, if anything to be able to give the police a somewhat accurate description if I ever decided to report it. But at the same time, I knew that if I did, his face would haunt me for the rest of my life. I shook my head and bit my lip so harshly that I tasted blood, my mind not able to make me look at the man who had just taken my life away as I opened the door and rushed out of the room.

I sat on the sofa, my teeth absentmindedly biting at my nail and my eyes staring straight ahead as I waited for Tom to get back. For the first time in our relationship, I hadn't offered to pick him up from the airport. I knew that I should have done, but it had still only been three days since I had woken up naked at the party, and nothing had even felt like me since. I'd been afraid to properly wash myself in the shower just in case running my loafer over my body too harshly would bring back a memory, I hadn't looked at myself once in the mirror in case I spotted a bruise that had bloomed from that night, I hadn't worn anything else other than baggy t-shirts and sweatpants because of how insecure and scared I now felt in my own skin. I didn't feel like myself, and I knew that Tom would pick up on that as soon as he saw me. But I had no idea how to tell him. I knew that he'd see it for what it was and not be one of those assholes who saw it as me cheating, but I knew that he'd never look at me the same after he found out, and would even want to kill the guy who'd done it. He'd want me to go to the hospital and police, and I wasn't anywhere near ready to start that process. I wasn't sure if I ever would be. My heart jumped in my chest, my eyes wavering as I looked up at the sound of the door opening.

"Darling? You home?" I heard my boyfriend's voice call out. I gulped harshly, my heart racing in my chest as I desperately tried not to cry.

"Y-yeah, I'm coming out!" I managed to speak up as I stood up and headed out to the corridor. Tom looked up at me as I appeared, his lips curling into a slightly unsure smile as he put his keys down on the table by the door.

"Hey, love. It's not a problem, but how come you didn't offer to pick me up like you normally do?" He asked. I gulped harshly, my hand holding my arm and scratching the skin of it as I tried with every inch of me to hold it together. He couldn't know. He could never know.

"S-sorry, yeah, work this morning has been hectic, I only clocked off five minutes ago." I lied with a chuckle.

"Okay, darling. It's no bother, I just wanted to see you. God, I missed you." He smiled and shook his head as he rushed to me and wrapped his arms around me like he always did. But this time was different. My eyes widened, my breath hitching in my throat and my heart almost bursting out of my chest in fear as he hugged me. I bit my lip harshly and tried not to let the tears leave my eyes as I slowly lowered my arms to return the hug. Even if I wanted nothing more than to push Tom away from me, but I knew that that would definitely arouse his suspicions. Though it looked like it was too late for that, anyway. He pulled away slightly, his eyebrows furrowed as he looked at me.

"Are you sure that you're okay, sweetheart? Something with you seems...I don't know, off." He scoffed and shook his head. I nodded and gave him a forced smile, my heart in my throat virtually choking me as I desperately tried to keep it together.

"I'm fine." I lied. His eyebrows furrowed further, the boy obviously not believing me, but he clearly decided to leave it as he sighed.

"Okay." He nodded and gave me a small smile as he leant down and pecked my lips. I barely returned it before breaking it and looking down as I started to walk away, making Tom look at me as I disappeared around the corner. I headed into the bathroom and shut the door, the tears finally streaming from my eyes as I collapsed to the floor against the door. I put my hand against my mouth to muffle the sounds, my whole body feeling like it was shutting down again. This was exactly what I had been petrified of. It was bad enough what had happened to me, but my worst fear of it affecting my intimacy with Tom was coming true. The second that he had hugged me, I had felt like I was back in that room. The second that he had leant down to kiss me, I had had to try so hard not to push him away and run. Right now, the ever-so-slight lip touch that I had given him had to be enough, because I couldn't give him any more of myself. Which made me terrified at the idea that the only way of explaining that to him when he inevitably brought it up, would be to tell him what had happened. And I was dreading that moment with every inch of my being.

Tom's P.O.V

Tom headed into his and Y/N's living room, his jaw clenched as he saw his girlfriend sitting on the sofa, just staring into space. He sighed and looked at her. It had been three weeks since he'd gotten back from filming, and something was seriously fucking wrong. It had started with Y/N not offering to pick him up at the airport, which she had always done every time that he came home since they'd started dating. She'd explained that away with work, though Tom's suspicions had been pricked again by two facts. The first one being the fact that she'd been wearing the largest t-shirt that she owned and a pair of equally as baggy sweatpants when usually, she wore crop tops and booty shorts as casual wear around the house, and the second being the fact that she had been extremely hesitant to return his hug, and had barely returned his kiss. The kiss hadn't even been a proper one, it had just been a peck and she hadn't even returned that properly. From there, things had gotten progressively worse. The girl would flinch every time that he tried to cuddle her in bed, she's whimper if he so much as put his arm over her waist and hadn't slept facing him once since he'd gotten back. Tom had even considered offering to sleep on the sofa, but he didn't want to put more distance between them, especially if what he thought was going on was actually going on. It hadn't stopped at cuddling either. The pair hadn't kissed, hadn't touched, hadn't had sex since he'd gotten back, and it was really starting to worry him. After all, it was a regular occurrence for the couple to have sex on the night that he got back as a 'welcome home' to them both, so the fact that it had been almost a month and Y/N hadn't even let Tom kiss her, well...something was wrong, and he had the worst feeling that it wasn't as innocent as it seemed. There was only one real conclusion that Tom could reach, and it was one that made his heart hurt.

"Love, we need to go soon, so you should start thinking about getting ready." He nodded, finally alerting Y/N to his presence as the girl looked at him.

"I-it's okay, I am ready." She gave him a small smile. His eyebrows furrowed, his mouth forming into an 'o' shape out of confusion as he looked at her attire of one of his baggy t-shirts and a pair of equally loose jeans.

"But...we're going to my parents' for dinner, darling, my family is going to be there." he nodded.

"I'm sure that they won't mind." She gulped. He shook his head, his eyebrows furrowing and more suspicion and anger filling his head as he looked at her.

"They won't do, no, but usually, you wear a dress or something-."

"I don't want to today, Tom." She cut him off before looking ahead again. He sighed and clenched his jaw, this being the final nail in the coffin as his heart dropped to his feet. Y/N always wore dresses and nice clothing when the pair went to his family's for dinner, so for her to be wearing such casual and scruffy clothes was a complete change in character. Of course Tom had no issues with what she was wearing, after all it was her body, but it was the implications that it carried. The fact that she hadn't let him touch her at all since he'd been back, the fact that she'd barely talked to him and had avoided him at all costs, and now the fact that she was wearing clothes that completely swamped her body so that Tom couldn't admire it like he normally did all pointed to one thing for him. That she was cheating on him. The thought broke his heart, but he didn't know what else would explain the sudden change of character. Everything pointed to the idea that Y/N wasn't letting him be physical with her because she was finding that love somewhere else, and the idea that she didn't want him to admire her body anymore because someone else was now admiring it. It broke his heart, but it was the only thing that made sense.

"Right, okay. We're leaving in ten." He mumbled before turning and leaving the room before Y/N could see him crying.

Y/N's P.O.V

I sat next to Tom at his parent's dining table, his family all around us as I aimlessly pushed the food around the plate. I had eaten as much as I could out of courtesy to Nikki and Sam, but ever since that night, I had lost all appetite for anything, and so now I was just trying to make it look like I was actually eating something instead of just playing with my food.

"So, how have things been since Tom got back, Y/N? How's your relationship going?" Nikki smiled, making all eyes turn to look at us.

"I don't know, Y/N, how is it going?" Tom mumbled as he shoved a fork-full of food into his mouth. My eyebrows furrowed, everyone else developing the same expression as I looked at him.

"What's that supposed to mean?" I scoffed.

"It means that you haven't let me touch you once since I got back. All I've had was the first hug and kiss that I gave you when I first got home, and don't think that I didn't notice how hesitant you were to even give me that much. I literally kissed you for one second and that's been it. Fucks' sake, we haven't even had sex yet." He shook his head as he looked at me.

"Didn't need to know that." Sam winced, making Paddy and Harry shake their heads in agreement.

"Son, maybe she's just not comfortable yet. I mean, you were gone on and off for a year and a half, gone for a full two months before coming back this time." Dom nodded, my eyes wavering and my heart starting to pound more in my chest as things started to get more heated.

"Dad, that's not it. We've been together for three years, never has she been like this when I've gotten back. Normally, she's the most clingy and affectionate person ever when I've been gone, and I love that, but this time around, I can't even put my arm over her in our sleep without her pulling further away from me. So, what's the excuse, Y/N? Did you cheat on me? Because that's what all of this points to." He nodded, making everyone's eyes widen as I choked.

"Tom, that's one hell of an accusation, don't make it lightly." Nikki warned.

"One hell of accusation that's not true. I'd never cheat on you, Tom." I shook my head.

"Well, that seems to be the only reason that I can come up with-."

"Dammit, Thomas! I didn't cheat on you, I got raped!" I shouted as I slammed my hand down against the table. His eyes widened immediately, his mouth falling open as the entire table went quiet. I choked and looked down, my heart racing and tears silently leaving my eyes as everyone stared at me in shock.

"Oh my god." Nikki mumbled quietly.

"You...what? You got what?" Tom gulped, his eyes also glassing over as he turned his body to face me. I shook my head and bit my lip so harshly that I tasted blood, my mind not strong enough to have this conversation in front of Tom's whole family as I picked my napkin up and put it on the table.

"Excuse me, everyone, I'm sorry." I choked as I stood from the table and rushed out of the room.

"Go after her, Tom, go." I heard Nikki speak, making me shake my head and tears stream down my face as I rushed up the stairs and straight into Tom's old room. I sat down on his bed, sobs starting to leave my lips as I buried my face into my hands. I cried into my skin, my heart plummeting to my feet and my mind once again feeling making me feel like I was an intruder in my own body as I tried to comprehend the fact that Tom now knew. The fact that his whole family now knew. I didn't look up as I heard the door open before it shut again, and I felt Tom sit down next to me on his bed.

"Can I hold you, love? Please?" He choked. I sobbed into my hands and nodded, making him immediately wrap his arms around me and pull me into his body. I held onto him for dear life, sobs leaving my lips and tears endlessly streaming down my face as I balled my hands into fists around his shirt.

"I'm so sorry, darling. I'm so fucking sorry." Tom cried too, his tears dripping into my hair as we held each other.

"I can't even remember much of what happened. B-but I know that he raped me. I-I went to a friend's party, and got drunk. T-the last thing that I remember was passing out in her room, a-alone, of course because I would never do that to you. B-but then I woke up, naked, with him next to me. I was fucking asleep, Thomas." I sobbed and shook my head.

"I know, sweetheart, I know. Don't worry, I know that this is not on you at all. This is not your fault, none of it is. You were asleep, you were drunk, this is not your fault. Whoever he is should have known not to do that, he shouldn't have done that, and I swear to god, I will fucking kill him if we ever found out who he was." He spat slightly.

"We won't, Tommy. I didn't go to the hospital or the police. I can't do anything." I whispered.

"We can still go, we can get you looked at, how long ago was it, we can see if there's any DNA left behind and then we can report it, I'll call in all of my favours to get the best lawyers and everything-."

"Tommy, please." I choked as I looked up at him. He bit his lip, tears also streaming down his face as he looked at me with red and puffy eyes.

"I don't want to report it. I don't want to lie on a table whilst nurses check for any abuse and evidence that won't be there. I don't want to go to the police and listen to their accusing tones and see their judgmental looks when I say that I was passed out drunk. I can't handle defence lawyers dragging me through the mud and bringing up my sexual past to prove that I must have wanted it or saying that it was my fault and that I shouldn't have been drunk if I didn't want something to happen, if they even find the guy who did this. I don't want my name plastered in newspapers whilst they accuse me of being a liar, not to mention what that'll do for your career too. I don't want to relive the trauma of that night and to be accused over and over of being a slut who shouldn't have been alone and drunk at a party, only for him to walk free because it's my word against his, and he's a man. I can't handle any of that, Tommy. What I'm terrified of right now is the fact that you can barely touch me without me feeling sick and abused. That's why I haven't let you touch me since you've been back, and that's killing me. So, I don't want to go to the police, I don't want to have years of court when I know that at the end, he'll just walk free. All I want is to be able to be with you fully without reliving that night. I want to be able to hug and kiss you, and have sex with you, without my mind putting me back in my room. That's all that I want right now, and I'm so sorry to ask you of this, but I need you to be patient with me for that to happen." I cried and shook my head. He gulped and nodded, both of us still sobbing in each other's arms as he just held me.

"Okay, sweetheart, okay. If you don't want to report it, that's alright. And it's okay if you need time away from us being physical and doing stuff. I will wait for you as long as you need me to, especially as this wouldn't have happened if I hadn't been away." He choked.

"Tom, no, don't say that. You're not to blame here. The only person here to blame is him, okay? This isn't my fault, and it's not your fault either." I reassured as I placed my hand on his cheek. He leant into my touch and gently put his hand over mine, the boy obviously still cautious of touching me after everything that he'd just found out as he looked at me.

"Okay, darling, it's alright. We're going to do exactly what you need to do. If you want to go to therapy for what happened, I'll find the best therapist, I'll pay whatever I have to, I don't care how much it costs. We'll keep this private, we'll make sure that no one can know to slip it to the tabloids because I know that that's the last thing that you need. As for the physical side of it, you take as long as you need. If you need a month, six months, a year, several years, I'll wait. I'll wait for as long as you need before you're comfortable again. But trust me when I say that I'm not leaving your side. You're not alone in this, I'm right here." He promised. I nodded and bit my lip, tears relentlessly streaming down my face at his words. I had to admit, even though I was still carrying the extremely heavy feeling of what had happened, my shoulders felt ever so lighter at the fact that Tom now knew and that he was willing to do anything that I needed to help me past this. And that was why I loved him.

"Thank you, Tommy, I love you for that. We're going to get past this, I'll get past this, I just...I need time." I nodded, my voice barely above a whisper as I looked at him.

"I'll give you as much time as you need, sweetheart. I love you, and I'm going to be right beside you through all of this." He promised.

"Thank you. Thank you." I choked as I rested my head on his chest again. We just sat there for a bit longer, Tom's body cradling my still slightly broken one in his arms as we both continued to come to terms with what had happened. With the fact that my body didn't feel like mine anymore. But the fact that my boyfriend knew and was completely willing to do what I needed him to do, just like I knew that he would be, made that pressure feel a little less heavy. And so I'd let him stay close, let him help me work through this. And I just hoped that in time, I could learn to live with this feeling and things would go back to normal with Tom. That was all that I could hope for right now. But that was enough.