Requested by swaggysloane: Y/N has had a rough past with her abusive ex and used to self-harm because of how he treated her, but then she met Tom and he changed her life. One day, She sees her ex and everything comes flooding back. She almost relapses with her self harm, but Tom realises just in time and comforts her.

"Did I tell you that this cake would be amazing, or did I tell you?" Tom smiled as both of us drove our forks into the slice of chocolate cake that we were sharing in the cafe in the shopping centre. I playfully rolled my eyes and shook my head at my boyfriend of two years.

"Yes, you did tell me, I'll admit that I was wrong." I sighed teasingly.

"Come here, love." He chuckled as he got another bit of the sweet desert onto his fork before raising it and leaning across the table to put it closer to me. I leant forward and wrapped my lips around the fork to eat the cake off of it, my eyes fluttering shut at how good it was as Tom pulled the fork away.

"We are definitely coming back here again sometime." I scoffed and nodded, though my words were slightly muffled because of the cake.

"I cannot tell you how game I am for that, my love." He smiled, making me giggle and continue to eat the cake as we kept talking and eating. If two and a half years ago, you'd have asked me where I thought that I'd be now, this would not be what I'd say. Sat across from the love of my life, who also happened to be an internationally famous actor, eating cake and laughing at his most stupid jokes on a Saturday afternoon. No. What I would say would be a lot sadder, a lot more full of regret and heartbreak. Because if I'd been asked where I'd be in two and a half years before I'd met Tom, I would have said dead. I would have said clinically depressed, even more so than I already had been. And that was for the simple reason that before having met Tom, I had been in the most abusive relationship that I could have imagined. I had met who I had thought was the love of my life, Alex, in our last year of college. We had been two stupid and young eighteen-year-old kids who had thought that we had found love, who had thought that we were each other's ones. How fucking wrong we'd been. I'd moved in with Alex after we'd both graduated university at the age of twenty-one, after three years together. Immediately, the abuse had started. Alex had gone from the guy who I couldn't even imagine hurting a fly, to the guy who would beat me every night, who would demand to know where I was and why I hadn't answered one text in thirty seconds, who would...well, I didn't even want to think about the worse levels of abuse that he'd inflicted on me. I had seen no way out and so I had taken it, the horrific and toxic relationship that I felt stuck in sinking me into depression, and soon enough...self harm. That always felt like the only way to pass on the pain that Alex inflicted on me without in turn hurting someone else, just give myself more pain, though at the hands of myself so that I could control it. I couldn't escape him the conventional way, and so I'd escape the only other way that I knew...by killing myself. And I almost had done, would have done...if I hadn't met Tom. We had met on one of the rare nights out with my girlfriends that Alex allowed me, when Tom had mistaken me for single at the bar, and had offered to buy me a drink. The loving boy's gorgeous chocolate eyes had quickly filled with concern when I had flinched away at him simply trying to touch my arm, and when he had started to notice the bruising on my skin that I had hoped would be covered by the club's shitty and dark lighting. Tom had given me his phone number purely as a safe haven, as a friend who I could talk to if I ever needed it. But then, I used it for a purpose that maybe Tom hadn't intended, but he had helped me regardless. On the night in question, Alex had beaten me to within an inch of my life before going out drinking with his friends. I could still remember lying on our living room floor, blood spilling from my lips every time that I coughed and pain soared through my body. I had honestly thought that that would be the night that I would die. And I would have done, if I hadn't remembered about Tom's phone number. Within an hour, I had been in the back of an ambulance, cradled in the safe lap and in the safe arms of Tom as he just held me on the way to the hospital. Tom had truly saved me that night, and had been saving me ever since. So, here we were, two years on, and I was doing so much better. For the most part, therapy worked, and I hadn't self-harmed since I had left Alex, given the fact that I no longer needed another outlet for the pain that I felt. Tom had saved my life, he continued to save me every single day, and I'd never let him forget it. I'd never stop loving him for it.

"You ready to go, darling?" Tom checked as he dug his wallet out of his pocket and put down a ten-pound note to pay for what we'd eaten and drank before putting his wallet away again.

"I think so, yeah. Ready for a night in front of the TV, with alcohol and my favourite boy." I smiled, making him smirk and wink as we stood up and collected the shopping bags that we'd accumulated over the afternoon. Tom took my hand and gently intertwined our fingers, his touch always soft and kind as we left the cafe and headed back out into the buzzing shopping centre.

"Hang on, sweetheart, it'll be freezing outside now, let me get my jacket on." He mumbled as he let go of my hand and placed the shopping bags that he was carrying onto a nearby bench.

"Okay." I nodded. I looked around aimlessly as Tom shrugged his jacket on, my mind not on anything in particular as I simply people-watched and waited for my boyfriend to be ready for us to go. Oh, how fucking quickly everything changed. My eyes widened, my heart plummeting to my feet as I saw him. My eyes wavered, tears immediately starting to leave them as Alex spotted me too, a smile curling onto his lips as he started to walk over to us.

"Tom, no, he's here, he's here, he's right fucking there." I choked and shook my head as I grabbed Tom's bicep, making him look up in confusion.

"What-."

"Y/N, hey! It's been so long, how are you doing?" Alex laughed as he got to us. Tom's eyes widened as soon as he saw my ex, and he realised what I'd been talking about.

"Hell no, get the fuck away from her." He spat as he stood in between Alex and I, and gently pushed me behind the safety of his body with his arm. I choked and happily let him, my hands desperately clinging onto his arm like a scared child as my heart raced violently in my chest with anxiety.

"Woah, hey, all is good here, we're all friends here." Alex chuckled and shook his head.

"Fucking no we're not. I'm not friends with anyone who beats any woman like you did Y/N, let alone anyone who beats my girlfriend." Tom nodded as he stared at Alex with a clenched jaw. Alex's eyebrows raised, a cocky scoff leaving his lips as he tried to look at me past Tom.

"So, you did leave me. For this fucking guy, too." He smirked sarcastically and shook his head. I choked and refused to look at him, all of the horrific memories of what he'd put me through flooding back and fear running through me at the fact that Tom was all that stood between us. Though, I knew that I'd always be safe with Tom.

"Get the fuck out of here. You put her through so much hell that trust me, it's taking everything in me right now not to do to you what you did to her. You're just lucky that I'm ten times the man that you'll ever be. Walk away now before I call security over here." Tom threatened.

"Ooh, such a big man, calling security to fight your fights for you, I'm so scared." Alex mocked.

"Mate, as much as I'd fucking love to absolutely batter you, my only concern right now is getting my girlfriend who you deeply traumatised out of your fucking vile presence." Tom continued. Alex scoffed and shook his head, the disgusting man still trying to look at me over Tom's shoulder, though I kept refusing to return the gaze.

"Fine. Fucking whatever. Have a nice life, Y/N. Bitch." He spat before walking away. I choked and finally released the breath that I hadn't realised that I'd been holding as Tom quickly turned around to face me and engulfed me in a tight hug.

"Love, I'm so sorry, I'm so fucking sorry. Are you okay?" He gulped as I held onto him for dear life.

"Please just take me home, Tommy, I want to go home." I sobbed and shook my head.

"Of course, sweetheart, let's go, come on." He nodded, his arm staying protectively around me as he gathered up the shopping bags before gently starting to walk my still shaking body towards the exit for the shopping centre.

Tom's P.O.V

Tom sat on the sofa in his and Y/N's living room, the boy staring into space and his hands clasped together in front of him as he ran through the events of the shopping centre. The way that Y/N's absolute cunt of an ex had just strolled up to them so casually and acted as if Y/N was being unfair when she refused to talk to him. As if Tom and Y/N's relationship hadn't started when he'd rescued her from literal death after Alex had beaten her so badly. Tom clenched his jaw and desperately tried not to get angrier than he already was as he waited for Y/N to come out of the bathroom, where she'd already been now for ten minutes. The boy had known as early as his first time meeting the love of his life that she got abused by her ex, given that he'd initially given her his number because of the way that she flinched, and the bruises that marked her up that definitely weren't signifiers of love. Tom had had no idea how bad it really was until that night, when Y/N had called him up and he'd found her half an hour later, on the verge of death after having been beaten to be nearly unrecognisable. The boy dread to think what else her asshole of an ex had done to her in that time, but despite Y/N never directly telling him, it was easy enough to guess from indicators, like how long it took the couple to have sex for the first time that the abuse hadn't just been emotional or physical. All of it fucking broke Tom's heart, the only solace for either of them being the fact that she was very much safe now with him, and that would never change. But the boy knew that her past would still be something that would haunt her for the rest of her days. He gulped and looked over the edge of the sofa at the bathroom door down the hall. Y/N had been in there for a long time now, and Tom was growing more concerned by the second.

"Y/N, darling? Are you okay in there?" He called out as he stood up and walked around the sofa before heading towards the shut bathroom door. He bit his lip and put his ear against the door, his eyebrows furrowing in yet more concern as he couldn't hear anything.

"Sweetheart, please say something to let me know that you're okay. If I don't get a response, I'm going to have to come in. I don't want you doing anything that you'll regret." He admitted through the material. He waited for a few more seconds, though a defeated sigh left his lips as he yet again heard nothing.

"Y/N, my love, I'm coming in." He spoke again before opening the surprisingly unlocked door. His eyes wavered, his heart plummeting to his feet at what he saw.

"Oh, Y/N." He sighed.

Y/N's P.O.V

I stood in mine and Tom's bathroom, my entire body feeling completely numb as I just stared at myself in the mirror, and held the icy metal razor lightly in between two of my fingertips. Though, right now, my focus was purely on how defeated and tired I looked. Given that I had had makeup on today, it was now all down my face, my ruined mascara having created black rings around my eyes as I stared at myself. I felt completely desensitised, completely empty for the first time since Tom had gotten me out of the toxic situation that I'd been in with Alex. And I fucking hated it. I felt like I was back there, like seeing him for even those fateful few minutes had taken me back to a time before I was safe with Tom. I felt worthless again, felt like I was worth abusing again, felt empty again. And all I wanted was to feel something. Anything. I gulped harshly and looked down, tears silently leaving my eyes as I looked between my still-untouched wrist, and the razor blade in my other hand. It had been two and a half years since I'd last self-harmed, and all it had taken was seeing my ex for five minutes for me to consider relapsing. That only broke me more.

"Y/N, darling? Are you okay in there?" I heard Tom call from outside of the bathroom, the footsteps getting louder telling me that he was now right outside of the door. I ignored him, my lip in between my teeth and my eyes glued to my wrist as I slowly but surely brought the razor closer to my skin.

"Sweetheart, please say something to let me know that you're okay. If I don't get a response, I'm going to have to come in. I don't want you doing anything that you'll regret." He admitted through the material. I still said nothing, my heart breaking, but my mind thinking that maybe it was better for Tom to find me. If he found me, found me doing what I was about to do, he would make sure that I wouldn't even try again. And right now, I needed that.

"Y/N, my love, I'm coming in." He spoke again before the door opened. His eyes wavered as they landed on the sight of the razor mere inches away from my wrist.

"Oh, Y/N." He sighed.

"I'm sorry, Tom. I'm sorry." I choked and shook my head.

"Hey, no, don't even for a second, do not apologise." He returned the head shake as he rushed towards me. He grabbed the razor from me before throwing it into the sink and quickly engulfing me into a tight hug. I sobbed into his t-shirt as he sank to the floor with me in his arms, my broken body cradled on his lap as he soothed and hugged me.

"You have nothing to apologise for, my love, do you hear me? In fact, I am so proud of you. You've been alone in this bathroom for the last ten minutes, you could have hurt yourself so much in that time. But you didn't. There's not a single scratch on your skin, not a single drop of blood that's left your body. I know that you feel ashamed right now for the fact that I found you about to do something, but what you should feel is the opposite. I am so proud of you for not relapsing, sweetheart." He reassured as he pressed his lips to my hair.

"It's so fucking hard, Tommy. Seeing him brought back everything, seeing him reminded me of all of the abuse, all of the times that it hurt to breathe. It feels like I'm right back there, that nothing's changed." I cried desperately as I gripped onto his shirt for dear life. It was as if, if I let him go, he'd disappear and I'd wake up, only to find that meeting Tom, being rescued by him was all some kind of sick dream, and that I'd find that I was still with Alex.

"I know, darling, I know. But everything has changed. You have trauma and that's completely understandable and valid, but you are safe. I know that it doesn't feel like that right now, but I promise that you are safe. You know that I will never stop protecting you, either from Alex or from the voices in your head that tell you to hurt yourself. I will never stop protecting you from either, because I love you so fucking much. You are my world, my love, and you always will be. And you're okay. I promise that you're okay." He nodded as one of his hands rubbed up and down my back, and the other ran soothingly through my hair. I let his words wash over me, my eyes fluttering shut and my lungs taking deep breaths as I tried to calm myself down. I just sat in his arms, my mind trying to remind myself of the fact that I was in Tom's arms, not Alex's. I was in the arms of the boy who loved me, who would never lay a harmful finger on me, who was cradling me gently and who had just stopped me from relapsing. Not in the arms of a guy who would beat me to a pulp seconds after comforting me. My heart slowly but surely started to slow down, my head against Tom's chest allowing me to also calm down as I could hear his gentle heartbeat. I continued to take deep breaths, the boy cradling me and running his hand through my hair only helping me to calm down more. I sighed and raised my head slightly, making Tom look down at me.

"Are you okay, my love? How are you feeling?" He asked gently as he raised his hand and softly stroked the skin of my cheek.

"I'm okay. Of course I'm still upset, but I'm glad that I didn't do anything. And god, am I glad that I have you. I wouldn't be alive right now if I didn't have you, Tommy." I whispered and shook my head.

"You would be, because you're strong, and amazing. I only helped you to stay alive. You did all of the hard work. And I'm so proud of you for that." He returned the head shake.

"Thank you, Tommy, it really means a lot. I love you." I spoke quietly.

"I love you too, sweetheart. I'll always love you." He nodded before pulling me back into his arms. I let him continue to cradle me, my eyes shut as I revelled in the comfort of being safe with Tom. No matter how many times my mental health got bad, no matter how many times I was reminded of the awful things that Alex did to me, I would always be brought back by Tom. And for that, I would always love him.