I lay in my bed, my eyes glued to my ceiling as the morning sunlight started to peek through the small gap in my curtains. I gulped harshly, my heart and mind racing as I stared at the cream colour of my room's ceiling. It had been a week since the party where I had had sex with Harrison before telling Tom that he was my choice, and things hadn't panned out the way that I had wanted them to. And that was putting it lightly.

"You look like you're freaking out, sweetheart, are you okay?" Tom yelled over the music. I gulped, my heart still racing as I cupped his cheek and leant up for a kiss. He returned it immediately, his hand also raising to hold my face as we kissed. I broke it and looked at him.

"It's you." I nodded. His eyes widened slightly.

"What?" He scoffed. I nodded again and bit my lip, my mind and heart still racing as the alcohol made everything fuzzy. I stared at him, his beautiful eyes still wide as he returned the gaze.

"It's you." I repeated. Tom just stared at me, his mouth hanging open at my words.

"Let me get this straight, you are talking about the thing between you, me and Haz, right-."

"Yes, I am. I pick you, Tom. It's you." I shook my head. He sighed and gave me a small smile.

"You're drunk, sweetheart. And that's okay, but I don't think that you're in the right mindset to pick one of us at the moment." He shook his head. My eyes widened, my gaze wavering as my heart dropped. He was refusing my choice. Of him.

"Sure, I'm tipsy, but I'm sober enough to make this decision, Tom. I know what I want." I scoffed as he gently put his hand on my waist and started to guide me through to the kitchen.

"Let me get you some water, love. Look, it's okay, you don't need to make this decision right now, and if I'm honest, I don't think that you want to." He mumbled as he grabbed a glass and filled it with water before giving it to me.

"Tom, fucking listen to me-."

"I am listening to you, Y/N." He cut me off, his voice raised slightly as he turned to face me. My eyes widened at his tone, his eyes full of fire as he stared me down.

"I know that Haz and I have been downplaying this, but this is a big decision. Whoever you pick matters to us. It always has. It matters to us because one of us will get the happy ending and will get to be with the girl that both of us somehow ended up fucking falling for, whilst the other gets nothing. The other gets heartbroken. And the person who does get the girl, who gets you, has to try and not look like an asshole by comforting them, all whilst sleeping with the girl who that person also wanted. This is a big thing for us, Y/N. I know that you like us both and so it's less serious to you, but one of us doesn't get to have you after months of sex and feelings, and everything in between. So, please, for the love of God, don't make this decision when drunk." He shook his head, tears pricking his eyes as he stared at me. I returned the gaze, my throat swallowing thickly as a tear ran down my face. Tom sighed and looked down, his hands gripping the counter beside him as he leant against it.

"This is what we get for being selfish. When we first discovered that we both liked you, one of the options was for neither of us to have you, for both of us to walk away, and that felt like the fairest option. But we got selfish, we got greedy. We got pulled in by the fact that you were happy to have sex with both of us. We let ourselves get distracted about the physical side of it, and didn't stop to think about how at the end, one of us would end up hurt. This is all our faults. Me and Haz, that is." He mumbled as he stood up and looked at me again.

"No, it's not. I've been encouraging it this whole time, I've been happily sleeping with you both for months. I'm equally to blame." I admitted quietly. Tom sighed and gulped before his eyes moved past me, them wavering again at whatever he had seen. I looked over my shoulder and I choked. Harrison stood there, tears also pricking his eyes as he just looked between us.

"You left me at the end of sex...to go and find him." He nodded as a tear left his eyes and rolled down his face.

"Haz, it's not like that-."

"I know that it is, and it's fine. It's fucking fine." He scoffed and shook his head before turning to walk away.

"Harrison." Tom sighed as he rushed after him, making me follow the boys with my gaze as they disappeared into the crowd. I tried not to cry, my body resting against the counter as I desperately held back the tears and tried to ignore the fact that I went from having the two boys here with me, to being alone. All fucking alone.

I bit my lip, tears running down my face as I replayed what had happened at the party, what Tom had said. Because he had been right. I had been too busy sleeping with both of them and trying to decide, they had been too busy happily coming onto me, that all three of us had let go of the idea that in the end, one of them was going to end up hurt. One of them was going to end up without me, that was inevitable, it just added to the pain for both of them that they didn't know who it would be. We had all been cruel, to ourselves and to each other. Hence why in the past week, I hadn't talked to either of them, hadn't met up with either of them, hadn't had sex with either of them. My decision on who I wanted to end up with had once again been wavering and changing all week, but now I knew. I knew for certain, and it was time to finally tell them. I owed them that much. I gulped harshly as I grabbed my phone, my heart almost thumping out of my chest as I unlocked it and clicked through to my contacts before scrolling down to his number. I took a deep breath before clicking on it and holding the phone to my ear, tears still rolling down my cheeks as I waited for him to pick up.

"H-hey, it's me. Sorry that you haven't heard from me this week, I've had a lot to think about. C-can we meet up? We need to talk." I nodded to myself, butterflies swarming violently around my stomach at the prospect of finally doing this.

I walked into the cafe, my anxiety about what I was about to do making me feel sick to my stomach as I looked around for him. My gaze landed on him, my eyes wavering and a small smile forcing its way onto my lips as I saw him. I walked towards the table, making Harrison stand up from it to greet me.

"Hey, love. You okay?" He gave me a small smile as he leant down and kissed my cheek. My heart dropped at that action. Since we'd started the arrangement, both boys had always greeted me with a peck on my lips. The fact that Harrison had gone for the cheek for the first time since this had started told me that he knew what my decision was already. I didn't even have to tell him, and that broke my fucking heart.

"I've been better since the party." I admitted as we both sat down. He sighed and nodded as he scratched at his hair.

"Yeah, um, I heard some of what Tom said, and what I didn't hear, he told me about anyway." He spoke. I gulped and looked at him.

"Yeah, I just...it's weird. Because I knew that I was sleeping with both of you to decide who I wanted to be with. I knew that I had to make a decision, I was always thinking about that and yet...it didn't occur to me, not once, that I'd have to stop seeing the other guy like that once I'd picked. That this would end in one of you getting hurt. That didn't occur to me, and it really should have done." I scoffed.

"Don't beat yourself up too much, love, you weren't the only one who wasn't thinking about the end result. Both Tom and I got so excited about the fact that we were both getting to have sex with the girl that we really like, that we almost got it into our heads that the other guy was treating you like a fling and that our own personal feelings meant that we'd end up with you, but obviously that wasn't true. We all fucked up. We all forgot the feelings involved." He shrugged and nodded.

"And I'm sorry for that." I gulped.

"So am I." He gave me a small smile, making me sigh as his gaze stayed glued to me. I bit my lip as silence filled the conversation, but that's only because I knew what Harrison was going to say next. He just didn't want to say it.

"It's Tom, isn't it? Your choice is Tom." He stated with a nod. I gulped and looked at him, a tear leaving my eye at how heartbroken he was. Whilst my choice was Tom, I did still have feelings for Harrison, and so it was breaking my heart to do this to him.

"I'm sorry, Haz. I know that you're not going to believe this, but I genuinely have feelings for both of you, that's why it took me so long to decide. I love you and I love him, I just...I love him more. But that doesn't mean that I haven't loved and cherished every second that we spent together. I loved it all, Harrison. I just wish that it could continue, but that wouldn't be fair on you." I shook my head. He nodded and gave me a small smile, the gesture telling me that it was okay even though I could tell that he was hurt.

"We couldn't make polyamory work, could we? Have you on different weekends?" He teased, making me smile and shake my head.

"I wish that we could make that work, but I don't think that we're the type of people for polyamory. We'll still be friends, though, right? I can't lose you as a friend too." I shook my head again.

"You'll never lose me like that. I may want more, but I'd rather live with you as a friend than not have you in my life at all." He reassured. I sighed in relief and nodded before cupping his face with my hand. I leant in and gently pressed our lips together for one final kiss, our eyes fluttering shut as Harrison held my wrist. Whilst I knew that I was making the right decision choosing Tom to ultimately be with, I still couldn't help but feel slightly heartbroken over losing Harrison like that. Whilst activities with both boys had mainly consisted of sex over the last few months, I really had developed deep feelings for both, and so it broke my heart to know that I had to let those with one of them go. I broke the kiss and looked at him, making him give me a small smile.

"It's okay, Y/N. I'm okay." He reassured. I sighed and nodded as I pulled away and grabbed my bag. I stood up and looked back at him.

"I love you, Harrison. I mean that." I promised.

"I know, love. And when I say it, I mean it too." He replied. I gulped and gave him one last smile, making him return it as I turned to head out of the cafe.

I knocked on Tom's front door, my feet nervously fidgeting and my heart in my throat as I waited for him to answer. Now that I had ended things with Harrison and gone back to being just friends with him, I could tell Tom that if he wanted me, I was his. And I couldn't wait. The door opened to reveal Tom, making his eyes widen as they fell upon me.

"Y/N? Darling, what are you doing here?" He scoffed. I took a deep breath.

"I choose you." I nodded before taking his face and pulling him down into a kiss. His eyes widened but he immediately sunk into it, his arms quickly wrapping around my waist as he returned the kiss. He shut the door with his foot before lifting me up, making me squeal against his lips as he carried me into the flat. We continued to make out, his tongue slipping into my mouth as he carried me to the sofa and sat down on it so that I was straddling him. We kept kissing, my hands curling around his neck to pull him closer as his hands moved underneath my t-shirt to grab my waist.

"Shit, w-wait, hold on for two seconds." He mumbled as he broke the kiss. I looked at him, making him return the gaze with wide eyes.

"Have you spoken to Harrison? Does he know that you're here? Does he know that you're straddling me after having just had my tongue in your mouth?" He chuckled and shook his head, though I could tell that there was nervousness behind that. I sighed and climbed off of him, the boy following me with his gaze as I sat next to him.

"I just came from seeing Harrison. Don't worry, nothing happened. Nothing happened because I officially took us back to friendship." I admitted. His eyes wavered and he repositioned himself to face me more.

"And? How did he take it, was he okay?" He gulped.

"He took it really well, considering that I did basically break up with him. He understood and respected my decision. He's a good guy, he really is." I nodded.

"Yeah, he is, there's a reason why I've kept him around for so long." He teased, making me chuckle and bite my lip as he looked at me.

"So, he's okay? I can really have you all to myself now?" He asked, a smile threatening to curl onto his lips as he looked at me.

"He's really okay. You've kept your best mate, and I've lost a potential boyfriend but have gained a friend in that place whilst also gaining a boyfriend. He's okay, and I'm yours." I reassured. Tom gave me a cheeky smile and winked before pulling on my legs, making me squeal as he pulled me down the sofa and crawled over me quickly so that he was on top of me and in between my legs.

"Tommy!" I laughed, though I made no effort to get the boy off of me as he teasingly started to kiss my neck.

"What? You said that you're all mine now, so I'll fucking have you." He smirked into my neck, making me giggle and shake my head as he pulled back to look at me. He sighed and bit his lip, his gaze moving between my lips and my eyes as his hand gently stroked my hair.

"In all seriousness, I'm so fucking happy that you chose me. I love Haz and of course I'm going to be there for him through this, but fuck, I can't live without you anymore, sweetheart. I think about you every second of every day, I'm sad and angry now when I'm not with you. You're my world, and I don't know what I'd have done if you hadn't picked me. I'm so glad that you picked me." He whispered and shook his head. I bit my lip in response, tears pricking my eyes at his words. I couldn't help but let my heart flutter at what he'd said, my entire body filling with love at the fact that I meant so much to him. As much as I hated to admit it, I'd had that feeling quite a lot with Tom recently but hadn't had it with Harrison. And that, right there, was how I knew that I'd made the right decision.

"I feel the same about you too, Tommy. I feel incomplete without you now, I need you by my side. I love you, Tommy." I admitted. His lips curled into a smile when I said that, making me return it as he leant down and gently kissed me.

"I love you too, darling. God, do I love you." He spoke quietly into the kiss, making my smile widen as I broke the kiss and tightly wrapped my arms around his neck to pull him closer. I loved Harrison with all of my heart, but I loved him as a good friend. Tom, well. He was it for me. I knew that I'd made the right decision. And my decision, was Tom.