*Please note that this imagine contains heavy drug use from the start, so please don't read this imagine, or be cautious of that fact if you're triggered by drug use. Thank you*

Tom leant down to the table, his finger holding his left nostril and a rolled-up ten-pound note in his other nostril as he sucked in a breath, sucking the white crystals up the rolled-up note and into his nose.

"Fuck me." He groaned, squeezing his eyes shut as he sat back up properly, running a hand through his hair and sniffing several times as he gave me the note.

"My turn." I smirked as I watched Harrison get another line of the white powder ready on the table.

"Be careful, sweetheart, it's strong stuff." Tom nodded.

"I can hold my coke." I smirked and winked, making him return my smirk as I leant down and sucked the crushed pills into my nose.

"Jesus." I choked, squeezing my eyes shut like Tom had just a moment ago as I let the bitter powder be sucked into my body.

"Told you." Tom smirked, making me bite my lip as Harrison did the third and final line.

"You guys want to dance?" I asked as I looked at my best friend and my once-best-friend, turned boyfriend, but soon-to-be-ex-boyfriend. It was a long story.

"Y/N, you don't come to a club and then snort coke to then dance." Harrison scoffed. I looked at him.

"That's exactly what you do. Come on, Tommy." I giggled as I took his hand. He groaned playfully but allowed me to pull him to his feet, leaving Harrison alone on the sofa as I pulled Tom to the middle of the dancefloor. I started to stumble slightly, the drugs coursing through my veins making my body start to feel a lot lighter than it actually was as Tom placed his hands on my waist and pulled my body into his. Small sighs started to leave my lips, my pupils dilating to god knows how big as everything started to blur. I leant my pulsating body further into Tom's so that I wouldn't fall, and I could tell that he was also starting to feel the effects by the fact that a thin layer of sweat started to glisten against his perfect skin. I looked up at him, a smile tugging on my lips as he stared back down at me. In a normal situation, he was the most beautiful human being that I'd ever seen, let alone when I was high. The flashing lights of the club appeared to me as nothing more than blurred and coloured dots that perfectly framed Tom's face and hair, making me slip further into the euphoria that was sweeping over me. Tom looked down at me, his lips curling into a drug-induced smirk as he leant down and pressed our lips together. I returned it immediately, holding his face and raking my fingers into his curls as his hands weakly gripped my waist. We smirked at each other as Tom deepened the kiss, gently forcing my lips open with his tongue before sliding it into my mouth. We just stood there in the middle of the floor, making out and not caring or remembering anything else. That including the massive blow-out fight that we had had only hours before attending the club. Because that was why I was practically calling Tom my ex-boyfriend now. After what had been three happy years together, we were starting to snap. Hence why we were making out in the drug-induced states that we were in, because we both knew that we'd go back to being nothing more than strangers the moment that we stopped being high. But for now, all I wanted was to focus on how Tom's lips felt brushing against mine, how his tongue felt exploring every inch of my mouth and how his hands felt gliding over my dress-covered body. That's all I wanted to focus on. I broke the kiss in desperate need of air, my eyes fluttering shut as Tom's lips travelled down to my neck instead. I let myself further curve into Tom's body, holding him as close as was humanly possible as he continued to gently nip at my neck.

I lay on my side in bed, my back to Tom as tears ran down my face. I clutched the sheets closer to my naked chest as I heard him sigh and felt the bed dip, telling me that he was now sat up. I looked over my shoulder to see his naked back, his head down and his hands gripping the sheets as he sat there, his nakedness being a painful reminder of last night. Every time that we would get high, we would end up fucking for the first time in weeks, possibly months, depending on how long it'd been since we'd last broken our sobriety, and then Tom would act like I was some one-night stand that he wished had disappeared after the sex. I sighed as I watched him grab the aspirin bottle from the bedside table and twist it. He groaned in frustration, his shoulder blades flexing as he tried and failed to get the bottle open.

"Darling, could you open this, please?" he mumbled, not even bothering to look at me as he leant his arm back to give me the bottle. I sighed and sat up, holding the sheets against my body as I took the bottle from him.

"Why do you need it?" I asked.

"Isn't it obvious? I took too much coke last night, so my brain now feels like it's being sliced open repeatedly with a rusty butter-knife." He mumbled.

"Maybe you shouldn't have taken so much then." I sighed. He looked at me for the first time, his brown curls flopping over his equally as stunning eyes.

"Pot calling kettle black much. You had as much as I did." He snapped.

"But I didn't mix it with alcohol, did I?" I scoffed. He rolled his eyes, making me gasp slightly as he harshly grabbed the bottle from my hands before standing up and slumping out of the room, a pair of low-hung sweatpants being the only thing covering my boyfriend.

"Tommy, come on." I sighed, grabbing his white dress shirt from off of the floor and pulling it on over my body before following him out into the rest of the apartment.

"What, Y/N? I'm sick of this shit, absolutely fucking sick of it." He nodded as he pulled at his curls angrily and paced the living room floor.

"It's an aspirin bottle, Tom-."

"Cut the shit, we both know that this isn't about the fucking aspirin." He spoke, abruptly stopping in his tracks and turning to look at me. I gulped, my eyes wavering as butterflies started to flutter in my stomach. This was the conversation that we'd both been putting off, but we couldn't prevent it any longer. It was here, and there was nothing that we could do to stop it.

"How long has it been since you fell out of love with me?" I asked quietly, trying to stop the crack in my voice. Tom looked at me, his eyes breaking but his face staying exactly the same, telling me that he had also known that this conversation was coming.

"I can't pinpoint the exact day or even the rough timing. I just...I guess I realised when I started to picture what my life would look like once I'm married and have kids, and...you weren't in that picture." He admitted, a tear leaving his eye as they wavered. I nodded and gulped, looking down at my fidgeting hands.

"What about you?" he asked. I bit my lip so harshly that I swore I tasted blood as I looked back at him.

"Despite everything, that moment hasn't come for me. I know that that isn't what you wanted to hear, but it's the truth. I'm still in love with you, Tommy, and I don't know if that'll ever change." I nodded. He sighed, another tear rolling down his face as he walked towards me.

"When did you stop being happy-."

"Y/N, we were never happy." He shook his head as he looked down at me and took my hands in his. I looked at him.

"We were never fully happy, darling. Every time we fucked, or kissed, or showed any love and affection towards each other, we were either drunk or high. And every time we fought and fell out and broke up, we were completely sober. That's the way that it's always been. And we can't carry on like this, we're going to kill ourselves at this rate." He scoffed gently. I bit my lip and looked up at him.

"So, is this the end? Have we finally reached the point where after three years, we're finally saying no more?" I choked. He sighed, his eyes as red and glassy as mine were as he looked down.

"That's what I'm saying, yes. I can't do it anymore, sweetheart. I'm sorry." He mumbled and shook his head. I nodded, the tears now freely leaving my eyes as my heart almost burst from my chest. This was truly it. After three years, Tom and I were finally breaking up. And it was him who was ending it.

"I'm sorry, Y/N. I'm doing this because I love you, so fucking much. But I know how much it breaks you when we do our routine, fuck, it breaks both of us. Do you know how much it kills me that we can only seem to be a couple when we're intoxicated? I can't do it anymore." He choked and shook his head. I nodded, gently cupping his cheek and making him look at me.

"I know." I whispered, forcing a small smile onto my lips as I nodded. He sighed and returned it before leaning down and softly kissing me. I returned it, squeezing more tears out of my eyes as I knew that this was the last time that I'd ever kiss Tom. I wasn't ready for it to end, not by a long shot, but that didn't matter anymore. None of it did. I broke the kiss, both of us standing there with joined foreheads and closed eyes as we both held each other one last time. Despite his words, Tom refused to let go, drops of saltwater streaming down his face as his hands held me into his body by my waist.

"I'm sorry, Y/N. God, I'm sorry." He choked, shaking his head.

"I know, Tommy. So am I." I nodded, my voice barely above a whisper. Tom returned it and pulled me into a hug, holding me close to him and pressing his lips to my hair one last time.