Requested by Homie_3: Y/N and Peter are dating, but she doesn't know that he's Spider-Man and he doesn't know how depressed she is. One night, she's crying on the roof of her apartment complex and Peter turns up as Spider-Man. She confesses how down she feels and he reveals himself to her.

*Please note: this one-shot contains themes of depression and suicide. I know that I usually add "be cautious when reading" to my trigger warnings but I'm not going to this time. If you think that this imagine will trigger you, please DO NOT read it. Obviously depression is a very serious mental illness and suicide is a very serious topic, so please do not read this if you think that it will trigger you. Also, I do not personally suffer from depression, and so I mean absolutely no disrespect or offence if I have misrepresented what it's like to have it. Finally, for any of my readers suffering with any kind of mental illness, please know that you're never alone. I myself struggle with mental health issues and there is always someone to talk to. Suicide or self-harm of any kind is NEVER the answer. If anyone gets triggered by this imagine, please feel free to message me for someone to talk to, I'm here for each and every one of you. If you choose not to read this, that's completely okay, I will be back soon with less serious one-shots. Thank you and look after yourselves xxx*

I stood at my open locker, my hand holding the metal door open as I just looked into the box. I bit my lip, tears pricking my eyes and my heart feeling numb in my chest as I just stood there.

"Hey, babe." I gulped and subtly wiped my eyes as I felt Peter's hands on my waist and felt his chin rest on my shoulder.

"Hey." I chuckled falsely as I closed my locker and turned to face him. His eyebrows furrowed at me.

"Have you been crying, angel? Are you okay?" He gulped. My eyes widened slightly, all of the heat in me rushing to my cheeks at the fact that he'd noticed.

"Y-yeah, I'm fine. Allergies." I lied with a shrug, making him nod and look at me sceptically. Peter and I had been dating for a year now, and it was amazing. My best friend and boyfriend was truly the love of my life, and he always made me feel loved and cherished. But there was a secret that I kept from him, that I'd never figured out how to tell him. And that was that I suffered from depression. I had been officially diagnosed two years ago, a year before I had been asked out by Peter. It was extremely hard at times, some days starting out so hard that I didn't even get out of bed. I had never told Peter on account of the fact that I knew he'd hold himself responsible for trying to make me happy all of the time, and then would beat himself up when inevitably, it didn't work. And so, I didn't tell him. But recently it was getting worse, my whole body being overtaken by pure numbness on a lot of days. And today was another one of those days.

"Are you sure, baby? You seem to have been upset a lot recently." he sighed, making me gulp harshly as he raised his hand and gently wiped away the tear that had fallen with his thumb. I couldn't let onto him how down and upset I was feeling, he didn't need that on his mind as well as school and the Stark Internship.

"Seriously, Pete, I'm fine. The pollen count is off of the charts today, that's all it is." I shook my head. God, I couldn't even convince myself, so I had no idea how I was managing to convince him. He sighed and looked at me sceptically, obviously still not fully believing me but nodding anyway as he curled his arm around my waist.

"Okay, angel. You ready to head back to mine for a movie?" he asked as he started to walk us towards the school doors.

"Yeah, let's go." I gave him a fake smile, making him return it with an unsure one as he kissed my head.

I sat on the roof of my apartment complex, my legs dangling over the edge and tears silently streaming down my face as I stared down at the street below. I had gone back to Peter's for a movie, but had left after only one film, and so I had been alone again for several hours now. And all I could think about was how easy it would be to just...jump. How quickly everything would end the second that my skin would leave the concrete. And yet something was stopping me. I wasn't sure what it was, but something was telling me not to do it, and that voice was louder than the one telling me to do it. Maybe it was the thought of never being held in my mom's arms again, never feeling her brush my hair again. Maybe it was the thought of my dad never telling me a really shitty joke again, but me laughing along anyway because of just how bad it was. Maybe it was the thought of leaving Peter. The thought of never falling asleep in his arms again. The thought of never feeling his lips gently pressing to mine again, never listening to his gentle heartbeat, never simply talking to him again. The thought of what his face would look like when my parents told him that I was gone. No. I couldn't do that to him. I choked and shook my head, my hands raising to my face as I sobbed into my skin. I didn't want to end it, but I didn't know what else to do. I felt weaker and weaker every day, and nothing fucking helped anymore. I could only last so much longer, and I didn't know when that breaking point would come.

"You okay there?" My head shot up, my eyes widening as Spider-Man stood only a matter of feet away from where I was sitting.

"Jesus Christ!" I exclaimed as I shot to my feet. Spider-Man's white eyes widened in response, his hands raising as I jolted up.

"Woah, I'm not going to hurt you, it's okay." he reassured.

"Of course you won't hurt me, you just scared me. You're a hero, hurting people isn't your job." I gulped. He nodded, his eyes still glued to me as he slowly walked towards me.

"You're right, it's not. But my job is to help those who have clearly been hurt by others." he stated. I bit my lip and looked down, my heart hurting but my mind embarrassed that the masked hero had literally caught me crying to myself on the roof of my building.

"I haven't been hurt by anyone." I mumbled quietly as I sat back down on the edge of the building.

"Why are you upset, then? If you don't mind me asking, of course." he chuckled, making me gulp and bite my lip as he sat next to me. Did I tell him, or didn't I? After all, he was a stranger, so would it really matter if I told him what was on my mind? I looked up at him.

"I'm upset because I don't want to live. But I'm also too afraid of hurting those that I love to end it all. So, that leaves me stuck in the middle, where I'm depressed all the time and I feel numb, and nothing and no one can help, but the only way out of that isn't something that I can't do." I choked and shook my head. Spider-Man's eyes widened, his Adam's apple bobbing in a gulp as he looked at me.

"Wow. U-Um, I'm sorry. I just, er...I wasn't expecting to get that response when I asked you that question." he admitted as he looked down and cleared his throat with an awkward cough. I bit my lip and looked out at the city again.

"It's okay. I'm sure that you don't get your fair share of suicidal teens just hanging out on top of buildings." I mumbled.

"Um...I'm so sorry if I'm overstepping, and don't answer if you don't want to, but...how long have you felt like this?" he asked quietly. I looked at him.

"Felt depressed? Years now. Since I was thirteen, I'm eighteen now. Felt slightly suicidal? That's relatively recent. Within the last year or so." I responded. His white eyes wavered, a choke coming from his lips as he looked at me.

"You've wanted to go...that soon?" he choked. My eyebrows furrowed as I looked at him. I knew that talking to someone who was suicidal could be hard, but I was an utter stranger to him, why was he getting so upset over me admitting that I'd had these thoughts?

"That's when it got worse, so yeah." I gulped. Spider-Man looked down again, my mind only getting more confused as I could hear quiet sniffles and cries coming from beneath the fabric of his mask. Was he...crying?

"D-do you not have a family? Friends, maybe a partner who can help at all?" he asked. I sighed and looked at him.

"I have a boyfriend called Peter. He's the main reason that I can never do it. I love him, he's my world, so I could never hurt him like that. I could never do that to him." I shook my head, my eyes wavering and tears pricking my eyes as I pictured Peter's face again in my head. The face that I always imagined that he'd have if I ever did do it. Spider-Man looked at me.

"He's the reason? He makes you happy enough to not want to do anything?" he asked. I bit my lip and looked down, tears starting to roll down my face again.

"He doesn't make me happy enough to not want to do it, no. But that's not his fault, no one can make me happy anymore. He's the reason because he's my everything. All I have to do to stop myself is picture what his face would look like if my parents told him what I'd done and...that's enough." I choked and shook my head. Spider-Man returned it, making me look up at him as he raised his hand. My eyes widened as he raised his hand to the back of his neck before starting to pull the mask off of his head.

"What are you doing-." He pulled the mask all of the way off, making my eyes widen even further. My mouth fell open, tears pricking my eyes and my heart starting to race in my chest as I saw him. Peter looked at me with red and puffy eyes, the wet stains on his face telling me that he had been crying underneath the mask. Fuck, fuck, fuck, I thought as we just stared at each other. I had just accidentally told my boyfriend that I was depressed and somewhat suicidal. Shit.

"Peter...oh my god, what the fuck?!" I cried as I shot up to my feet. Peter's eyes widened as he returned the movement.

"Baby, please-."

"Where do I even start, oh my god! I mean, first, fuck, you're Spider-Man! How long have you kept that from me?! But oh my god, I just told you that I was suicidal! Shit, fuck." I sobbed and shook my head, my hands raising to hold my hair as tears streamed down my face.

"Angel, it's okay, please-."

"Of course it's not okay, Peter! I want to fucking die, what part of that is okay?!" I screamed. Peter choked, his eyes looking even more broken than they had been before as he just stared at me. I shook my head and looked down as my hands raised to cover my face, quiet sobs leaving my lips as I just cried into my hands. I had tried for so long to keep what I was feeling from Peter, and now it was all ruined. It was all over. I felt him wrap his arms around me, my head instinctively resting against his chest as he just held me into his arms. He swayed us slightly, his lips pressing to my hair and one of his hands gently cradling my head against his chest. Almost as if he was terrified to let me go.

"I'm so sorry that you feel that way. I'm so fucking sorry." he choked into my hair. I bit my lip and kept my head into his chest, not wanting to look at him. I could tell that he'd been absolutely broken by what he'd discovered tonight, and I couldn't blame him.

"It's not your fault, Peter. I have depression, so as much as I love you, just being with you isn't enough to make me feel happy." I choked.

"But you said that I'm the reason that you don't do anything, right? You don't want to hurt me, so you wouldn't do anything?" he shook his head as he pulled away slightly but only enough so that he could look down at me. I sighed and bit my lip, tears streaming down both of our faces as we looked at each other.

"Yeah. The worst thing that I can do is hurt you, so I don't go anywhere." I shook my head. He gulped and looked at me.

"W-what else can I do to help? What can I do to make you not feel like this, I'll do anything, baby." he choked and shook his head. I bit my lip harshly, more tears leaving my eyes at how desperately he wanted to help. But I had to break his heart even further.

"There's nothing, Pete, it's depression. No matter how happy I am with you, it's always there. And that's not your fault. It's a battle that I have to fight on my own, but that's okay. You can't help me, but that's okay." I reassured.

"Okay, but I'm not letting you fight this alone. I know that it's your battle, and I have to accept that, but I'm never going to leave your side. I know that I really can't do much, but I'll do absolutely everything that I can do to help you. I'm here with you through this, angel, one hundred percent." he promised with a shake of his head. I looked up at him, my heart full of love for the boy. Even when he knew that he couldn't do anything, he was determined to do even the tiny bit that he could do. And that's exactly what I loved about him.

"Thank you, Pete. I love you for that. For what it's worth, I'm okay. I know that it doesn't look like it right now, but I can fight this, I will fight this. I promise." I choked and nodded.

"I know, baby. I know." he reassured before pulling me back into his chest. I closed my eyes, my tears dripping down his suit as I let his gentle heartbeat soothe me. Both of us knew that this was my war to fight, but Peter finally knowing about it was a start. And it made me calm and relieved to know that he'd be my side for all of it.